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Minichan

Topic: Amazon review of the day

Sheila LaBoof started this discussion 6 years ago #98,569

Betty Page Confidential

Amazon Customer
1.0 out of 5 stars Masturbation level: Difficult
Reviewed in the United States on July 28, 2019
Verified Purchase
As an avid, professional-level, masturbator, it was with great anticipation that I waited for delivery of this book. The only doubt that I harbored was that I bought it used and I was a little fearful that many of the pages would be stuck together with man mayo. Fortunately, that was not the case...unfortunately, read on.

Dita Von Teese (boobs and ass), Angela Melini (face, body, and incredible nipples), and Bettie Page (ass and magnificient bush) are my go-to wank girls, and I had high hopes for the spunkability of this book,

sadly, it was a total disappointment.

The photos are all black and white (and BP's nips are so delightfully pink), the resolution of the pictures is very muddy, and many of the photos were no larger than 2"x2".

Unclothed, Bettie's charms were very much absent. 137 photos presents the tissue-ready one-handed reader with the potential for 274 magical nipples...alas...the total number of nips is a paltry 60, and many of those are so grainy, or small-format that you have to take it on faith that they're even there. My boner was growing smaller with the turn of each page.

To make matters tragically worse, Bettie's heavenly ass appears, to poor advantage, in only two photos...this is an act of criminality on the part of the author. Bettie's delicious apple is her main attraction, to have that cleft-piece of paradise completely neglected should rank among the most mortal of sins. I was actually in tears that I wouldn't be pulling to that magnificent pooper.

Then, the reader, or actually stroker, is further shortchanged by the fact that nowhere is Bettie's trademark bushy black bush pictured. Her magnificent muff serves as an eternal repudiation of this modern-day trend of shaving the pudenda. Bettie's heavenly hair-pie was one of my great anticipations for this book, so imagine how dreadfully crestfallen I must have been...it found me with my pud in hand and tears in my eyes.

There you have it, dear reader, the heartbreak of this cruel, cruel book.

If you are an off-jacker of any caliber, this book is not worth the most casual of glances...you will get more titillation from a visible nipple-bump on the cover of the TV Guide.

Thank you for your kind attention, and I know that you share my sorrow.

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 2 hours later[^] [v] #1,112,180

Hey this was my review. I'm glad you liked it.

Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 9 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,112,191

@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)

You don't masturbate to women, bud. Please refrain from lying to Sheila.

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 6 years ago, 51 seconds later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,112,193

@previous (C)
You dont know the first thing about me or what I like BUD.

Anonymous C replied with this 6 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,112,195

@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)

That's not true. I know you like Bloomberg and double-ended dildz.
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