Topic: Dumpers remorse
Aileron !LUFRSd346Y started this discussion 15 years ago #9,557
A few weeks ago I left my girlfriend of about a year because I wanted to focus more on my career and I was wondering if my heart was fully in it anymore. Now, however, everything reminds me of her and I find my thoughts drifting back to all the good times we shared constantly. It's all very depressing. Anyone else been through this? I feel like it's just part of the process, but I still didn't think it would affect me so much.
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later[^] [v] #169,851
You have the social abilities to enter into long term relationships, MC should make you feel like god.
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 4 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,854
Nah, the only girl I ever dumped was a scheming, psycho bitch. I kicked her out and never second guessed myself.
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 50 seconds later, 5 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,856
I've been through it. I was dating a girl for almost 4 years when I broke up with her because it was long distance and not working out like we had hoped and I also wanted to focus on my career. It does make me sad sometimes, and I feel tremendous guilt for how badly I hurt her. I'd like to at least still talk to her but she's cut me off. I still think I made the right move. I don't plan on begging for her back, but I do understand how you're feeling.
Ks !KansasxqvM joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 8 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,859
Well that was a dick move man, I hope she gets with someone who can appreciate her. Finding someone you're compatible enough to be with and stay happy in a long-term situation doesn't happen everyday. Sounds like you dun goofed, beg her back ya dingus. Relationships have their ups and downs its all part of the cycle, never break it off until you're damned sure.
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 9 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,861
Beg for her back. Be outside her house at midnight with a stereo playing her favourite songs if you have to.
Anonymous C replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 11 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,863
@169,859 (Ks !KansasxqvM)
Exactly. I would never break up with a girl I have a good relationship with in favor of a "career." If you place money above a good relationship, then you are fucking shallow and don't deserve a rewarding relationship. Get your head straight, kid.
Exactly. I would never break up with a girl I have a good relationship with in favor of a "career." If you place money above a good relationship, then you are fucking shallow and don't deserve a rewarding relationship. Get your head straight, kid.
Aileron !LUFRSd346Y (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 13 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,864
I still think it was the right decision in the long term. She's heading to law school, I'm moving out of the state soon... she would have followed me but I didn't want her to move halfway across the country for me if I wasn't completely sure. There was more to it than just career, I was finding myself attracted more to other women as well. And we're still friends. But it's been very hard for both of especially since we stay in touch... damned near broken my heart on a few late night occasions. I just keep thinking about her...
@169,859 (Ks !KansasxqvM)
Glass houses my friend, don't judge too harshly.
@169,859 (Ks !KansasxqvM)
Glass houses my friend, don't judge too harshly.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 14 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,865
@169,859 (Ks !KansasxqvM)
What if they're not really compatible? Better to break it off after one year rather than get divorced after 5, right? Maybe OP should elaborate more.@169,859 (Ks !KansasxqvM)
@169,863 (C)
It's not just about money. My ex had a very good career going for her, and I could have stayed with her and never worried about money, but I was worried that I wouldn't feel like I was living a fulfilling life if I didn't do something with my own life first. Careers are about more than just money.
What if they're not really compatible? Better to break it off after one year rather than get divorced after 5, right? Maybe OP should elaborate more.@169,859 (Ks !KansasxqvM)
@169,863 (C)
It's not just about money. My ex had a very good career going for her, and I could have stayed with her and never worried about money, but I was worried that I wouldn't feel like I was living a fulfilling life if I didn't do something with my own life first. Careers are about more than just money.
Aileron !LUFRSd346Y (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 38 seconds later, 15 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,867
It's the finality that's hard to cope with. The fact that all those wonderful times were the last. And that a chapter in our lives is being closed, likely for the last time. That those memories will be the only ones.
Aileron !LUFRSd346Y (OP) double-posted this 15 years ago, 24 seconds later, 15 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,868
Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 6 seconds later, 15 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,869
@169,864 (Aileron !LUFRSd346Y)
I agree with you and sympathize completely, Aileron. Sounds a lot like my situation.
I agree with you and sympathize completely, Aileron. Sounds a lot like my situation.
hamfist !!mtq555+/1 joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 14 seconds later, 16 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,870
> that feel when fapper's remorseAnonymous C replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 17 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,873
@169,864 (Aileron !LUFRSd346Y)
You still fucked up. Even if she had moved to be with you, it's not like she wouldn't have been just fine if you had broken up anyway. As a guy, I never break off a relationship unless my mental health is in jeopardy. The 2 of you could have had a solemn talk about your divergent paths in life and broken up of mutual accord, guilt free.
You still fucked up. Even if she had moved to be with you, it's not like she wouldn't have been just fine if you had broken up anyway. As a guy, I never break off a relationship unless my mental health is in jeopardy. The 2 of you could have had a solemn talk about your divergent paths in life and broken up of mutual accord, guilt free.
Ks !KansasxqvM replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 19 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,875
@169,864 (Aileron !LUFRSd346Y)
I ain't even mad yo, I just think you goofed and you're starting to realize it. Unless it was more of mutual break-up... Speaking from experience, I can tell you finding a decent woman is harder than you might think, she's going to law school etc, you loved her and all. I mean, what the fuck are you thinking man? Love isn't about practicality and its not always convenient. I have my fair share of regrets with women too, sometimes you NEVER stop regretting that shit, if I had to make choices again, I would make different choices. Sigh... fuck love man, maybe its not even worth it and you made the right move.
I ain't even mad yo, I just think you goofed and you're starting to realize it. Unless it was more of mutual break-up... Speaking from experience, I can tell you finding a decent woman is harder than you might think, she's going to law school etc, you loved her and all. I mean, what the fuck are you thinking man? Love isn't about practicality and its not always convenient. I have my fair share of regrets with women too, sometimes you NEVER stop regretting that shit, if I had to make choices again, I would make different choices. Sigh... fuck love man, maybe its not even worth it and you made the right move.
Anonymous C replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 20 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,876
@169,865 (D)
And your life will never be great if you always play it safe. You have to take a few risks. As long as you don't put yourself in a situation where you could potentially get fucked bad, taking a few chances just makes things more exciting ;-)
And your life will never be great if you always play it safe. You have to take a few risks. As long as you don't put yourself in a situation where you could potentially get fucked bad, taking a few chances just makes things more exciting ;-)
Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 24 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,879
Aileron !LUFRSd346Y (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 15 seconds later, 24 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,880
@169,873 (C)
It's not like I told her to get lost. We talked about it. I know it nearly broke her heart and I will always feel bad about that but I wasn't an ass about it at least. And like I said, we still talk which is how I know how much she is also struggling with it.
@169,875 (Ks !KansasxqvM)
What if she had moved all the way out here, or stayed in the city with me, instead of going to school where she really wanted, and 6 months down the road we weren't happy and I had to call it off? That would be the cruel thing to do I think.
It's not like I told her to get lost. We talked about it. I know it nearly broke her heart and I will always feel bad about that but I wasn't an ass about it at least. And like I said, we still talk which is how I know how much she is also struggling with it.
@169,875 (Ks !KansasxqvM)
What if she had moved all the way out here, or stayed in the city with me, instead of going to school where she really wanted, and 6 months down the road we weren't happy and I had to call it off? That would be the cruel thing to do I think.
Ks !KansasxqvM replied with this 15 years ago, 5 minutes later, 30 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,887
@previous (Aileron !LUFRSd346Y)
You're scared of commitment. ;)
Deal with it man, relationships go sour, it happens, but not even trying? Finding a woman without baggage in a few years will be be difficult for you, better pick on up while you're young...
You're scared of commitment. ;)
Deal with it man, relationships go sour, it happens, but not even trying? Finding a woman without baggage in a few years will be be difficult for you, better pick on up while you're young...
Anonymous C replied with this 15 years ago, 5 minutes later, 36 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,898
@169,880 (Aileron !LUFRSd346Y)
So weigh the pros and cons of getting back together vs. Staying apart. It seems like you're both capable of doing alright no matter where you are, so if you both still want to be together, why not try to figure something out that will work for both of you. You can have your cake and eat it too, if you'll pardon the cliche.
@169,879 (D)
That's true, but if the risk is minimal and the potential reward is that good, I'll always take the risk. Careers opportunities, especially at OP's age, are a lot more plentiful than awesome women. If I were you, OP, I'd be makin plans to move to whatever city she's going to law school in :p
So weigh the pros and cons of getting back together vs. Staying apart. It seems like you're both capable of doing alright no matter where you are, so if you both still want to be together, why not try to figure something out that will work for both of you. You can have your cake and eat it too, if you'll pardon the cliche.
@169,879 (D)
That's true, but if the risk is minimal and the potential reward is that good, I'll always take the risk. Careers opportunities, especially at OP's age, are a lot more plentiful than awesome women. If I were you, OP, I'd be makin plans to move to whatever city she's going to law school in :p
jump joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 10 minutes later, 46 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,905
Its the familiarity you are missing. Change sucks.
You could also be missing her because you love her with all your clicking robot heart.
You could also be missing her because you love her with all your clicking robot heart.
The Owl !KThEOwLwbU joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 6 minutes later, 53 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #169,907
> minichan
> girlfriend
> happy stable relationship
> pick two
> girlfriend
> happy stable relationship
> pick two