Topic: God

Anonymous A started this discussion 15 years ago #9,421

God is a like a table held on three legs. These legs are "omniscient," "omnipotent," and "omnibenevolent."
Atop the table lies a ball called "theodicy."

Unfortunately, the ball is just out of reach. In order to get the ball, we have to shorten one of the three legs.
Accepting free will cuts short the leg of omniscience.
Accepting that God has bigger concerns than us cuts short the leg of omnipotence.
Accepting that God works in mysterious (and often very dickish) ways cuts short the leg of omnibonevolence.

Each of the above examples releases the ball, but it also makes the table lop-sided and ugly.

For me, this is disturbing. Most people, though, don't seem to give a damn as long as they have the ball.

In conclusion, fucktits.

yeah I stole this from smbc, but it's a pretty decent analogy.

(Edited 6 minutes later.)

Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 4 minutes later[^] [v] #167,313

> Accepting that God works in mysterious (and often very dickish) ways cuts short the leg of omnibonevolence.
> omnibonevolence.
That's the property of being all-bonerful?

dreamworks !AUIkTW/L46 joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 35 seconds later, 4 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,314

okay

!ocurburUbk joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 7 minutes later, 12 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,317

I make this book my holy bible and myself a God.

Smegma !J5VkSmegmA (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 13 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,318

@previous (!ocurburUbk)

In my desperation I started to worship a jug of milk.

!ocurburUbk replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 17 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,319

@previous (Smegma !J5VkSmegmA)
Hinduism beat you to it.

Nega !34Kas0OdzM joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 19 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,321

> accepting free will cuts the leg of omniscience
en.Wikipedia.org;wiki/John_Titor

(Edited 18 seconds later.)

Smegma !J5VkSmegmA (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 20 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,322

@167,319 (!ocurburUbk)

Hmm.
Would I be copying anybody if I were to worship the empty bottle of Gatorade in my room?
It probably answers prayers as reliably as a jug of milk and God, so I don't see much of a difference.

!ocurburUbk replied with this 15 years ago, 25 seconds later, 20 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,323

@167,321 (Nega !34Kas0OdzM)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Titor
There.

!ocurburUbk double-posted this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 22 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,325

@167,322 (Smegma !J5VkSmegmA)
If you feel that gives you a measure of control over your own destiny. ;)

Smegma !J5VkSmegmA (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 28 seconds later, 22 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,326

@167,321 (Nega !34Kas0OdzM)

I remember seeing somebody reposting his predictions on 4clam.

Smegma !J5VkSmegmA (OP) double-posted this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 24 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,328

@167,325 (!ocurburUbk)

I believe it does.
Perhaps this can of Dr. Pop deserves my worship as well.

Dr. Pop is a cheap Dr. Pepper remake if you weren't sure

Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 6 minutes later, 30 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,334

@previous (Smegma !J5VkSmegmA)
At least your cheap Dr. Pepper knockoff has a name. All we have here is "Doctor".

!ocurburUbk replied with this 15 years ago, 36 seconds later, 31 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,335

@167,328 (Smegma !J5VkSmegmA)
Reminds me of - Pop cola is a knock off of Coca-cola in the Philippines! It tastes like Coke mixed with rootbeer. I think. My taste buds do not have great memory skills. Is that what Dr.Pop tastes like?

Smegma !J5VkSmegmA (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 25 seconds later, 31 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,336

@167,334 (F)

There is another cheap grocery store brand called Dr. Thunder lol.

Smegma !J5VkSmegmA (OP) double-posted this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 33 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,337

@167,335 (!ocurburUbk)

It has more of a cherry flavor than Dr. Pepper.
It's essentially the same, though.

dreamworks !AUIkTW/L46 replied with this 15 years ago, 26 seconds later, 33 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,338

@167,328 (Smegma !J5VkSmegmA)
@167,334 (F)
We don't even have a Dr. Pepper knock-off here ;_;

Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 24 seconds later, 34 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,339

@167,336 (Smegma !J5VkSmegmA)
Dr Thunder is the shit.

Smegma !J5VkSmegmA (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 35 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,341

@previous (Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ)

Fuck yeah!

(Edited 11 seconds later.)

Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 36 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,342

@previous (Smegma !J5VkSmegmA)
Wal mart knock off sodas ftw

!ocurburUbk replied with this 15 years ago, 24 seconds later, 37 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,343

@167,337 (Smegma !J5VkSmegmA)
Coooooooooooooool.

Smegma !J5VkSmegmA (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 38 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,344

@167,342 (Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ)

Mountain Lightning ftw.

Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 41 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,346

@previous (Smegma !J5VkSmegmA)
Yep! Also here we have Winn-Dixie supermarkets. Their knock off of mountain dew is Kountry Mist. Good shit too.

Nega !34Kas0OdzM replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 42 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,347

@167,337 (Smegma !J5VkSmegmA)
Dr. Pepper is an intellectual drink for the chosen ones.

hamfist !!snnYcROO9 joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 52 seconds later, 43 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,348

@167,319 (!ocurburUbk)
Wow, that was... actually pretty impressive carebear! 9/10

!ocurburUbk replied with this 15 years ago, 27 seconds later, 44 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #167,349

@167,347 (Nega !34Kas0OdzM)
How many pictures do you have of anime characters drinking something?

jump joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 25 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #167,352

@167,319 (!ocurburUbk)
Wrong. They're worshipping the wonderful shrooms that grow in te turds.

Nega !34Kas0OdzM replied with this 15 years ago, 43 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #167,359

@167,349 (!ocurburUbk)
Wouldn't you like to know.

dreamworks !AUIkTW/L46 replied with this 15 years ago, 49 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #167,360

@previous (Nega !34Kas0OdzM)
where is that one from i think i recognize it

!ocurburUbk replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #167,362

@167,359 (Nega !34Kas0OdzM)
Kind of why I asked? ;_;

Unintentional Jackass !LASXURl1b6 joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 10 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #167,364

The third property of god is omnipresence, you dunce.

Smegma !J5VkSmegmA (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #167,365

@previous (Unintentional Jackass !LASXURl1b6)

I've seen both written out.