Topic: Managing Inappropriate Sexual Behavior with Seniors
Anonymous A started this discussion 6 years ago #92,545
One of the most awkward and challenging of dementia symptoms are those that result in inappropriate sexual behavior. One family caregiver told the story of when her dad invited his brother, who had dementia, over for lunch.
“When I greeted him, we hugged,” the family caregiver said. “But, to my surprise, the hug lingered while he ran his hands down my back. I didn’t know how to react so I changed the subject. Then, as I was bringing lunch to the table, my uncle commented about my pretty legs. After the second incident, I realized this was not the action of my uncle, but the disease. I went back to the kitchen and took a few deep breaths. As they day went on, I was prepared to distract my uncle if anything happened again.”
It’s a known fact that certain medical conditions—like dementia and Alzheimer’s disease—can cause seniors to engage in inappropriate sexual behavior. This development can be disturbing if this is happening with your loved one.
Defining Inappropriate Sexual Behavior
Let’s be clear about one thing: not all sexual behavior by seniors is “inappropriate.” Many seniors enjoy healthy sex lives well into older age. A study by the New England Journal of Medicine found 25 percent of seniors over age 75 are having sex, and about 50 percent of those between ages 65 and 75 are also sexually active.
No matter the age of the adult participants, consensual sexual behaviors can be considered normal and healthy—as long as the participants retain the cognitive ability to consent.
When Sexual Behavior Becomes Inappropriate
Unfortunately, cognitive decline can cause seniors to engage in inappropriate sexual behaviors outside of a loving relationship or in unsuitable environments. Stressful, right?
Let’s look at three common situations and how to cope with them. You can also find additional tips and suggestions for managing inappropriate behavior on HelpForAlzheimersFamilies.com.
Masturbating in public
“My father had vascular dementia. He started masturbating in public. Of course, I was appalled when I was told this and then I witnessed it. (I guess a part of me was hoping that I was being told incorrect info.)”
If your loved one who is fondling himself in public, start with a medical examination. In seniors who can’t communicate well, public masturbation may signal a medical issue, such as pain or a urinary tract infection. These medical causes may be ruled out (or treated) with a physical exam conducted by a skilled geriatric practitioner.
The caregiver above found that a trip to the doctor did the trick. She said, “I involved his MD, who examined him, and then gave him a low dose of an anti-depressant medicine. The behavior stopped.”
Inappropriate or unwelcome touching of others
“My mom seems to have a problem sometimes. My hubby will give her a hug as he always has. But occasionally she puts her hands where they shouldn't be. So hubby tries to avoid her… which confuses her when she wants that hug.”
Sexual inappropriateness with dementia certainly is not limited to men. As this comment illustrates, women can develop wandering hands, too.
One way to cope with wandering hands during embraces is to develop a new way to hug. Follow these steps:
As you approach the senior, stop a short distance away and raise both hands in front of you in a “stop”-like gesture. Smile and make eye contact.
Verbally encourage the senior to raise her hands in the same position.
Move forward and place your palms against hers. Quickly interlace your fingers to hold onto her hands.
Now that the senior’s hands are secured, you can guide their hands toward your shoulders as you lean in for a ‘hug,’ to touch cheeks or to give your loved one a kiss.
When the embrace is finished, back away and release the senior’s hands.
This method allows a senior to enjoy the physical touch of family members while ensuring hands don’t inadvertently wander where they shouldn’t go.
Stripping in public
Because Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias reduce a person’s inhibitions, seniors with these conditions may not realize it’s inappropriate to take their clothes off in public. This behavior may not be sexual in nature at all.
Seniors with dementia may disrobe in public for a variety of reasons, from feeling too warm to experiencing an urgent need to urinate. If family members can figure out what triggers the behavior, they may be able to resolve the underlying issue.
In the meantime, manage the activity as it occurs. Take a shawl or throw with you to cover a loved one as the clothes come off. Stay calm and try not to shame your loved one. Understand that you cannot necessarily control this behavior.
“When I greeted him, we hugged,” the family caregiver said. “But, to my surprise, the hug lingered while he ran his hands down my back. I didn’t know how to react so I changed the subject. Then, as I was bringing lunch to the table, my uncle commented about my pretty legs. After the second incident, I realized this was not the action of my uncle, but the disease. I went back to the kitchen and took a few deep breaths. As they day went on, I was prepared to distract my uncle if anything happened again.”
It’s a known fact that certain medical conditions—like dementia and Alzheimer’s disease—can cause seniors to engage in inappropriate sexual behavior. This development can be disturbing if this is happening with your loved one.
Defining Inappropriate Sexual Behavior
Let’s be clear about one thing: not all sexual behavior by seniors is “inappropriate.” Many seniors enjoy healthy sex lives well into older age. A study by the New England Journal of Medicine found 25 percent of seniors over age 75 are having sex, and about 50 percent of those between ages 65 and 75 are also sexually active.
No matter the age of the adult participants, consensual sexual behaviors can be considered normal and healthy—as long as the participants retain the cognitive ability to consent.
When Sexual Behavior Becomes Inappropriate
Unfortunately, cognitive decline can cause seniors to engage in inappropriate sexual behaviors outside of a loving relationship or in unsuitable environments. Stressful, right?
Let’s look at three common situations and how to cope with them. You can also find additional tips and suggestions for managing inappropriate behavior on HelpForAlzheimersFamilies.com.
Masturbating in public
“My father had vascular dementia. He started masturbating in public. Of course, I was appalled when I was told this and then I witnessed it. (I guess a part of me was hoping that I was being told incorrect info.)”
If your loved one who is fondling himself in public, start with a medical examination. In seniors who can’t communicate well, public masturbation may signal a medical issue, such as pain or a urinary tract infection. These medical causes may be ruled out (or treated) with a physical exam conducted by a skilled geriatric practitioner.
The caregiver above found that a trip to the doctor did the trick. She said, “I involved his MD, who examined him, and then gave him a low dose of an anti-depressant medicine. The behavior stopped.”
Inappropriate or unwelcome touching of others
“My mom seems to have a problem sometimes. My hubby will give her a hug as he always has. But occasionally she puts her hands where they shouldn't be. So hubby tries to avoid her… which confuses her when she wants that hug.”
Sexual inappropriateness with dementia certainly is not limited to men. As this comment illustrates, women can develop wandering hands, too.
One way to cope with wandering hands during embraces is to develop a new way to hug. Follow these steps:
As you approach the senior, stop a short distance away and raise both hands in front of you in a “stop”-like gesture. Smile and make eye contact.
Verbally encourage the senior to raise her hands in the same position.
Move forward and place your palms against hers. Quickly interlace your fingers to hold onto her hands.
Now that the senior’s hands are secured, you can guide their hands toward your shoulders as you lean in for a ‘hug,’ to touch cheeks or to give your loved one a kiss.
When the embrace is finished, back away and release the senior’s hands.
This method allows a senior to enjoy the physical touch of family members while ensuring hands don’t inadvertently wander where they shouldn’t go.
Stripping in public
Because Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias reduce a person’s inhibitions, seniors with these conditions may not realize it’s inappropriate to take their clothes off in public. This behavior may not be sexual in nature at all.
Seniors with dementia may disrobe in public for a variety of reasons, from feeling too warm to experiencing an urgent need to urinate. If family members can figure out what triggers the behavior, they may be able to resolve the underlying issue.
In the meantime, manage the activity as it occurs. Take a shawl or throw with you to cover a loved one as the clothes come off. Stay calm and try not to shame your loved one. Understand that you cannot necessarily control this behavior.
(Edited 39 seconds later.)
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 31 minutes later[^] [v] #1,049,792
Gross
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 4 minutes later, 36 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #1,049,795
Managing Inappropriate Sexual Behavior of Priests like TG-Comix
He is not a senior yet he cannot stop himself from inappropriate sexual behavior with tender age children.
Matt is getting close to old age and yet at a very early age he asked for open leg vulva photos from a 15 year old girl.
One does not have to be a senior to act Inappropriately.
Add bert and Leo Vegas in that mix along with Denmark guy and NZ Guy.
He is not a senior yet he cannot stop himself from inappropriate sexual behavior with tender age children.
Matt is getting close to old age and yet at a very early age he asked for open leg vulva photos from a 15 year old girl.
One does not have to be a senior to act Inappropriately.
Add bert and Leo Vegas in that mix along with Denmark guy and NZ Guy.
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 10 minutes later, 46 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #1,049,810
@previous (C)
Wait, what? Why are you throwing me in with your list of pedos? Those sheep are all of legal age in NZ. Thanks
Wait, what? Why are you throwing me in with your list of pedos? Those sheep are all of legal age in NZ. Thanks
Anonymous B replied with this 6 years ago, 40 seconds later, 47 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #1,049,812
@1,049,795 (C)
I'm not surprised you didn't post against Eco. Him being around moved you to the number 2 spot on the most annoying poster list.
I'm not surprised you didn't post against Eco. Him being around moved you to the number 2 spot on the most annoying poster list.
Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 5 minutes later, 52 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #1,049,817
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 50 seconds later, 53 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #1,049,818
What. The fuck.
Anonymous D replied with this 6 years ago, 5 minutes later, 58 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #1,049,826
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 2 hours later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,049,893
Where is Kook? How has she not posted in this topic yet?
Hyperlink !!2MPWksMg1 joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 9 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,049,897
Nice kookbait Kook hasn't even posted in.
Anonymous I joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 11 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,049,899
@1,049,795 (C)
> Managing Inappropriate Sexual Behavior of Priests like TG-Comix
>
> He is not a senior yet he cannot stop himself from inappropriate sexual behavior with tender age children.
>
> Matt is getting close to old age and yet at a very early age he asked for open leg vulva photos from a 15 year old girl.
>
> One does not have to be a senior to act Inappropriately.
>
> Add bert and Leo Vegas in that mix along with Denmark guy and NZ Guy.
Eye candy.
> Managing Inappropriate Sexual Behavior of Priests like TG-Comix
>
> He is not a senior yet he cannot stop himself from inappropriate sexual behavior with tender age children.
>
> Matt is getting close to old age and yet at a very early age he asked for open leg vulva photos from a 15 year old girl.
>
> One does not have to be a senior to act Inappropriately.
>
> Add bert and Leo Vegas in that mix along with Denmark guy and NZ Guy.
Eye candy.
