Topic: Minichanfic:Becky and the Double Quarter Pounder's Revenge.
Anonymous A started this discussion 6 years ago #90,434
Minichanfic:Becky and The Double Quarter Pounder's Revenge.
It was a warm Summer day, and becky had been hard at work on a case involving the trafficking of exotic rodents. Her client was a dimwitted older man who would not follow any of her legal advice. This was of course making her case much more diffcult to win.
Becky had been working hard for hours on end, and she was really beginning to feel hungry. "A trip to McDonalds might take some of the strain of working this case off." she thought to herself, already daydreaming of the meaty treats that await her.
Becky climbed into her car, and took another puff off her vaporizer. Setting it aside, she started the car and was soon enroute to the nearest McDonalds. She arrived with no cars ahead of her in the drive thru, "This must be my lucky day!" she thought to herself excitedly.
Pulling up to the menu she began scanning it, vigorously searching for what would satiate her immense hunger. A salad simply would not do, and she had eaten chicken nuggets the day before. Then, it came to her, a double quarter pounder with cheese would really hit the spot.
She ordered her burger with a large fries and a Dr.Pepper, and asked the cashier to add bacon to her sandwich.
Upon completeing her order she drove forward to the pick up window. She paid the cashier, and excitedly took her bag of food. She drove back to her office, excited for the meal that was now in her passenger seat. Little did she suspect, the meal was also excited for her to open the bag.
Becky arrived back at her office, her mouth watering in anticipation as she climbed out of the car with her meal in hand. She locked her car, and walked up to her office. Absolutely bubbling with excitement of the meal she was about to consume, or so she thought.
Sitting at her desk, she opened her bag and removed the fries, excitedly gnawing one after the other. "That's quite an appetite you have..." a deep gruff voice said from within the bag sitting on her desk.
Becky was stunned, starring at the bag on her desk, "What the hell was that..." she said in hushed trembling voice. Slowly she reached for the bag, to take a look inside. Suddenly, the burger leapt from the bag onto her desk. Becky was shocked at what she had just witnessed, anxiously wondering if maybe she had vaped too much weed.
"This isn't a hallucination, silly girl." the gruff voice coming from the burger. Becky was terrified, on the verge of wetting her forest green pant suit with coral colored satin blouse.
"I can taste your fear, scared little lamb." the burger said, now beginning to swell to nearly the size of the desk. "We've been watching you, what you've done to our brethren. You truly are a monster, with a grisly appetite."
The burger turned to face her, revealing blood red eyes and rows of razor sharp teeth. "I'd say it is about time," the burger said, "that you faced the same horrible fate you've subjugated so many of us to." The burger now beginning to lunge forward. Becky couldn't stop shaking, her mouth was dry, she was on the verge of tears. "Ma-maybe there is some way I-I m-m-might be able to make it up to you." Becky said in a trembling voice, choking back tears and the fear that was overtaking her. "It is too late for apologies, girl." the burger said in a commanding tone "You should have thought of that before you brutalized so many of my people..."
Becky was now sobbing uncontrollably as the burger inched closer to her by the second. Licking it's lips, and giving her a grotesque smile as it came closer. "Please let me go! Please! I promise to never hurt your people ever again!" Becky screamed through her sobs, with the burger only arm's length from her at this point.
"Please! I didn't know! I swear I didn't know!" Becky kept screaming at the creature. "Now it is your turn..." the burger said as it opened it's gaping maw wide
To be continued...
It was a warm Summer day, and becky had been hard at work on a case involving the trafficking of exotic rodents. Her client was a dimwitted older man who would not follow any of her legal advice. This was of course making her case much more diffcult to win.
Becky had been working hard for hours on end, and she was really beginning to feel hungry. "A trip to McDonalds might take some of the strain of working this case off." she thought to herself, already daydreaming of the meaty treats that await her.
Becky climbed into her car, and took another puff off her vaporizer. Setting it aside, she started the car and was soon enroute to the nearest McDonalds. She arrived with no cars ahead of her in the drive thru, "This must be my lucky day!" she thought to herself excitedly.
Pulling up to the menu she began scanning it, vigorously searching for what would satiate her immense hunger. A salad simply would not do, and she had eaten chicken nuggets the day before. Then, it came to her, a double quarter pounder with cheese would really hit the spot.
She ordered her burger with a large fries and a Dr.Pepper, and asked the cashier to add bacon to her sandwich.
Upon completeing her order she drove forward to the pick up window. She paid the cashier, and excitedly took her bag of food. She drove back to her office, excited for the meal that was now in her passenger seat. Little did she suspect, the meal was also excited for her to open the bag.
Becky arrived back at her office, her mouth watering in anticipation as she climbed out of the car with her meal in hand. She locked her car, and walked up to her office. Absolutely bubbling with excitement of the meal she was about to consume, or so she thought.
Sitting at her desk, she opened her bag and removed the fries, excitedly gnawing one after the other. "That's quite an appetite you have..." a deep gruff voice said from within the bag sitting on her desk.
Becky was stunned, starring at the bag on her desk, "What the hell was that..." she said in hushed trembling voice. Slowly she reached for the bag, to take a look inside. Suddenly, the burger leapt from the bag onto her desk. Becky was shocked at what she had just witnessed, anxiously wondering if maybe she had vaped too much weed.
"This isn't a hallucination, silly girl." the gruff voice coming from the burger. Becky was terrified, on the verge of wetting her forest green pant suit with coral colored satin blouse.
"I can taste your fear, scared little lamb." the burger said, now beginning to swell to nearly the size of the desk. "We've been watching you, what you've done to our brethren. You truly are a monster, with a grisly appetite."
The burger turned to face her, revealing blood red eyes and rows of razor sharp teeth. "I'd say it is about time," the burger said, "that you faced the same horrible fate you've subjugated so many of us to." The burger now beginning to lunge forward. Becky couldn't stop shaking, her mouth was dry, she was on the verge of tears. "Ma-maybe there is some way I-I m-m-might be able to make it up to you." Becky said in a trembling voice, choking back tears and the fear that was overtaking her. "It is too late for apologies, girl." the burger said in a commanding tone "You should have thought of that before you brutalized so many of my people..."
Becky was now sobbing uncontrollably as the burger inched closer to her by the second. Licking it's lips, and giving her a grotesque smile as it came closer. "Please let me go! Please! I promise to never hurt your people ever again!" Becky screamed through her sobs, with the burger only arm's length from her at this point.
"Please! I didn't know! I swear I didn't know!" Becky kept screaming at the creature. "Now it is your turn..." the burger said as it opened it's gaping maw wide
To be continued...
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 2 hours later[^] [v] #1,029,877
McBrilliant!
tteh !MemesToDNA joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,029,928
A classic McBecky™ adventæ!
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 6 years ago, 18 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,029,931
Conclusion:
Becky could feel the creature's warm sticky tongue wrapping around her leg. She knew that soon, she would meet the fate all those burgers had faced. Still sobbing and screaming, she began trying to fight the beast off any way she could. She kicked, punched, scratched, threw books, anything she could possibly do. She could still feel the monster's tongue crawling up her body despite her efforts.
"This is it," she thought, "this is the end for me. I wish I had sent Mark more presents..." the beast cackled at Becky's wimpers and sobs as he wrapped her body in his tongue.
Just then, who should bust in the front door of the office but Mark himself! Equipped with an assault rifle, and anti-burger grenades, Mark sprang into action. Firing several rounds into the back of the beast's bulbous form.
In a surprised gasp, the monster released Becky from his grip, then turned it's attention to Mark. Becky scrambled to her feet, still sobbing, and raced to the farthest corner of the office she could find.
The monster began thrashing it's tongue at Mark, in whipping motions. Mark skillfully dodged the beast's attacks, and fired some rounds into it at any chance he got. Mark was now running low on ammo, and he knew it. However, the beast was not showing any signs of slowing down.
Keeping his cool, Mark hatched a plan to defeat the creature. He didn't know if it would work, but it was the only chance he had. Quickly he removed the six anti-burger grenades straped to his torso, and carefully watched for his chance.
Finally, it came when the creature stopped to taunt him. "Weak, pathetic human! After I devour you, I will devour that girl, and take revenge for my countless brothers who have died at her hands! Bwahahahaha!"
As the monster laughed, Mark threw the grenades into his mouth, and fired on them with what little ammo he had left. With that, the grenades exploded with a firey burst, and the beast fell apart into sevral pieces. Mark knew it was a gamble, but it looked as though his gamble had paid off.
"Is... Is it dead?" Becky asked, still sobbing. "I don't know", Mark replied. Mark approached the beast, and began jabbing it with his large hunting knife. No movement, no noises, not even twitching at this point, the beast was slain. Mark confirmed to Becky that her nightmare was over.
Becky embraced Mark in a powerful hug, relieved that she was not currently within the belly of the beast. "Don't worry, Becky." Mark said, "This probably won't ever happen again..." Becky was now sobbing out of joy, "Thank you, Mark! Oh, thank you! I would be dead if you hadn't shown up when you did!" Becky cried emphatically.
They left the office together, Becky would just have to work on the exotic rodemt case later. After what she had been through, she needed booze and a nap. "Maybe I shouldn't go to that McDonalds anymore." Becky thought, as she and Mark walked side by side to her car.
The end...?
Becky could feel the creature's warm sticky tongue wrapping around her leg. She knew that soon, she would meet the fate all those burgers had faced. Still sobbing and screaming, she began trying to fight the beast off any way she could. She kicked, punched, scratched, threw books, anything she could possibly do. She could still feel the monster's tongue crawling up her body despite her efforts.
"This is it," she thought, "this is the end for me. I wish I had sent Mark more presents..." the beast cackled at Becky's wimpers and sobs as he wrapped her body in his tongue.
Just then, who should bust in the front door of the office but Mark himself! Equipped with an assault rifle, and anti-burger grenades, Mark sprang into action. Firing several rounds into the back of the beast's bulbous form.
In a surprised gasp, the monster released Becky from his grip, then turned it's attention to Mark. Becky scrambled to her feet, still sobbing, and raced to the farthest corner of the office she could find.
The monster began thrashing it's tongue at Mark, in whipping motions. Mark skillfully dodged the beast's attacks, and fired some rounds into it at any chance he got. Mark was now running low on ammo, and he knew it. However, the beast was not showing any signs of slowing down.
Keeping his cool, Mark hatched a plan to defeat the creature. He didn't know if it would work, but it was the only chance he had. Quickly he removed the six anti-burger grenades straped to his torso, and carefully watched for his chance.
Finally, it came when the creature stopped to taunt him. "Weak, pathetic human! After I devour you, I will devour that girl, and take revenge for my countless brothers who have died at her hands! Bwahahahaha!"
As the monster laughed, Mark threw the grenades into his mouth, and fired on them with what little ammo he had left. With that, the grenades exploded with a firey burst, and the beast fell apart into sevral pieces. Mark knew it was a gamble, but it looked as though his gamble had paid off.
"Is... Is it dead?" Becky asked, still sobbing. "I don't know", Mark replied. Mark approached the beast, and began jabbing it with his large hunting knife. No movement, no noises, not even twitching at this point, the beast was slain. Mark confirmed to Becky that her nightmare was over.
Becky embraced Mark in a powerful hug, relieved that she was not currently within the belly of the beast. "Don't worry, Becky." Mark said, "This probably won't ever happen again..." Becky was now sobbing out of joy, "Thank you, Mark! Oh, thank you! I would be dead if you hadn't shown up when you did!" Becky cried emphatically.
They left the office together, Becky would just have to work on the exotic rodemt case later. After what she had been through, she needed booze and a nap. "Maybe I shouldn't go to that McDonalds anymore." Becky thought, as she and Mark walked side by side to her car.
The end...?
(Edited 3 minutes later.)
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 18 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,029,935
This is not realistic, because it has Mark saving becky instead of immediately turning 360 degrees and running away.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 6 years ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,029,936
Anonymous D replied with this 6 years ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,029,937
tteh !MemesToDNA replied with this 6 years ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,029,938
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 3 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,029,939
This story was plausible up until the point where Becky cared about me doing a nice thing for her.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 6 years ago, 3 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,029,940
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 6 years ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,029,941
Epilogue:
Two weeks later, Becky sent Mark a box of used condoms.
Two weeks later, Becky sent Mark a box of used condoms.
(Edited 20 seconds later.)
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 0 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,029,942
I liked your story, OP! I think it showed Becky in a more vulnerable state, and Fake anon as an action hero was a very interesting spin on him. A very good piece of fiction!
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 6 years ago, 5 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,029,943
@previous (F)
Thank you, I thought it would be a nice change to have Becky in desparate need of help and Fake Anon be the one to give it to her of all people.
Thank you, I thought it would be a nice change to have Becky in desparate need of help and Fake Anon be the one to give it to her of all people.
Anonymous B replied with this 6 years ago, 5 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,029,944
The problem is that it humanizes Becky too much. It presents her as having a heart, a soul, kindness, and empathy -- the very opposite of how she is in real life.