Topic: How do I uninvite a trans woman to our all girls night?
Anonymous A started this discussion 6 years ago#89,615
I'm using a throwaway because I just don't want to hurt any feelings IRL if that makes sense and I want to be sensitive to everyone involved (even the people that read this).
On Friday night we a group of friends and I decided to have a girls night in to "celebrate" a break up one of them had just had. Our plan was to watch cheesy movies, laugh, cry, order pizza, drink wine and just do girl things. It wasn't a planned sleepover but I didn't mind if anyone decided to stay.
We have a trans girl who is sort of like our friend but she lives an hour a way so we don't know her all that well but on the occasion we do see her she's always been friendly and nice. Her name Tilly Some of us know her pre-trans, some of us don't but all accept her now, I think she slowly started transitioning about a year ago. She said she was going to be in town and asked if I could hang out. I told her I would do her one better, why don't you come to our break up party? Everyone was on board with this. Our friend was super excited because she said she'd never been taken seriously enough to be invited to a party like ours so that made me very happy.
We all arrived and sat around my table and laughed and had a great time and we all agreed to meet again at my place to watch the Bachelorette finale tonight.
I am trying to be very delicate here but things with Tilly got weird from the start. It was almost like she expected this to be some sort of male fantasy idealized version of a teenage sleepover. We were watching "love actually" (yes we were that cheesy) on my king size bed (there were six of us total) and Tilly grabbed a pillow and smashed me in the face so hard it actually made my head ring. It was completely out of the blue. I was dazed and my other friend asked her why she did that. Tilly said that watching the movie was boring and she was ready for the fun to start. We told her that none of us were in the mood for that sort of thing and she called us "lame" and went to surf her phone for maybe 15 minutes or so. She even posted on Instagram a selfie with something like "who knew all girl sleepovers weren't fun?" but deleted it really quickly after a guy I think who is her brother commented "you aren't a girl b!tch." That made me feel really bad for her so I invited her back in and then she asked when we were changing into pajamas and having the make out party. I have one friend who is very direct and she told Tilly that she's "very sorry but that sort of stuff really doesn't happen and we aren't sure if you're trying to make jokes but you're making some of us uncomfortable." Tilly said something like "I'm sorry but if your uncomfortable now, wait until we lez out and instead of licking you have to suck." The same friend asked Tilly if there was something wrong with her and Tilly admitted that she had been doing cocaine since early that afternoon and was sorry that it was all gone (none of us do drugs). After that the fun was gone, we were stunned into silence and we finished the movie. Tilly got up with about 15 minutes to go and passed out on my couch. Everyone left shortly after the movie was over but was very, very quiet.
Another friend offered to stay the night with me because she was a little worried about me being alone with Tilly. We woke up to extreme banging in the kitchen and Tilly was completely nude in the kitchen looking like she was completely out of it trying to make breakfast. When she noticed us she said she was so disappointed her first girl sleep over was almost done and she was the only one the balls to show her pussy (I don't know how intentional her wording was). I told Tilly I was very uncomfortable and she needed to put on clothes. She did and then she started crying on the couch that she'd probably ruined her friendship with us. I tried to comfort her and tell her maybe it was best she just give us some space and we'll talk later. I called her an uber and she said she was very sorry and she would give us space.
I didn't hear anything from her until just about an hour ago when she asked what time she should come over tonight? I texted the rest of the group and no one is comfortable with her being around after Friday.
After all I said above, how do I tactfully uninvite her our party tonight?
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 7 minutes later[^][v]#1,022,448
Tell her that you'd love her company but a couple of the other expected guests are allergic to sick demented freaks. Suggest a possible get together later on in the near future and tell her you value her friendship and look forward to seeing her soon.
(Edited 38 seconds later.)
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 3 minutes later, 10 minutes after the original post[^][v]#1,022,449
Tactfully convince your friends to give her another chance, after that, if it goes bad again then it wasn't meant to be.
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 4 minutes later, 15 minutes after the original post[^][v]#1,022,450
I'm sorry this happened to you, and ask that you please don't think all transwomen are like this one. Though most definitely seem to be.
I would suggest simply explaining to her that you and your friends still need time after how she acted on Friday. IDK how rational she actually is, seems like not very based on the story. I think honesty is the best policy though, as she may be irrational enough to try and see if you guys are still hanging out were you to tell her that you won't be having a party tonight. Or if you just aren't comfortable with that idea, maybe tell her that you guys decided not to get together, and meet at a place she will not know you are at/doesn't know where it is. Though that still carries risk of her waiting to see if one of you guys comes home later, to try and confront you.
I'm sorry I can't offer more help, and again sorry you had to experience this.
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 50 seconds later, 15 minutes after the original post[^][v]#1,022,451
Suck her cock.
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 7 minutes later, 23 minutes after the original post[^][v]#1,022,456
One of our right wing trolls being lazy again and copy pasting from another source.
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 6 years ago, 56 seconds later, 24 minutes after the original post[^][v]#1,022,457
@previous (F)
If they actually worked hard they'd be liberal, thanks.
Anonymous B replied with this 6 years ago, 43 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#1,022,459
@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
96% of all welfare benefits are paid to liberals
Anonymous F replied with this 6 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#1,022,462
@previous (B)
That is a staggeringly idiotic thing to say. Even the NZ troll would be above saying that. I mean, good lord, bert, you are fucking dumb.
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 6 years ago, 8 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#1,022,466
Anonymous B replied with this 6 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#1,022,468
@1,022,462 (F)
Do you watch SNL and believe all the skits are a social narrative which is just disguised as a funny parody but really meant to indoctrinate hatred towards others?
Anonymous F replied with this 6 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#1,022,470
@previous (B)
You are possibly the stupidest person I have ever had the misfortune to interact with. That response was the debate equivalent of shitting yourself.
(Edited 10 seconds later.)
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 6 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#1,022,473
@1,022,459 (B)
96% of the time you say anything it's not true. The other 4% it's too incoherent to figure out what you're saying.