I know what this is from, and it gave me a good chuckle. Thanks, OP.
@1,005,325 (Killer Lettuce? !!iNo3FkiZx)
Dear Killer Lettuce
Kindly receive my deepest apology for late payment of bills concerning penis extension. I understand that the same was supposed to be on your desk by 8. I had an emergency issue of an anal prolapse that I had to attend to first.
This could have caused inconvenience in the institution. I am so regretful and I want to assure you that it shall never happen again. Kindly forgive me.
Feel free to contact me through Minichan certified e-mail messaging.
With most sincere apologies,
Made you look.