Minichan

CHAMPAIGN, IL — Animal experts praised the upcoming animated film Sonic: The Hedgehog Tuesday for its accurate depiction of hedgehogs, noting that most media representations leave out the creature’s tendency to roll up into a fast-moving blue ball to attack enemy combatants. “Most of the hedgehogs we see in film and TV are portrayed as timid, antisocial creatures, which completely glosses over both the frequent smoke trails they leave in their lightning-fast wake and their daily ritual of battling their natural enemy, the nefarious mad scientist,” said University of Illinois zoologist Dr. Krista Keller, adding that the 6-inch woodland dweller Americans typically see only exists on the silver screen, while the common hedgehog is approximately 3 feet tall, stands on two sneaker-clad feet, and zooms through city streets to save our planet from sure destruction. “The creators of Sonic really did their homework by exploring the life of our glowing, neon-blue little friends that arrived from Mobius with such precision and care. This is exciting, too, because the quiet, plodding hedgehog you’re familiar with pales in comparison to the real ones I work with as a veterinary professor. I’m much more accustomed to observing hedgehogs that crackle with electricity and run up the side of skyscrapers and jump off buildings to escape the dreaded Dr. Robotnik, all the while tossing out clever quips in plain English.” Dr. Keller added that the film, unfortunately, appears to present yet another unrealistic depiction of James Marsden.