Anonymous A started this discussion 7 years ago#86,168
If you'll just let me finish, my constituents, sensible men, women and children first, as honest as the days are getting longer, are literally sick and tired of our continued enforced incarceration within the four walls of this shambles - this SHAMBLES - the politically correct brigade insist on calling the European so-called Union, though to my mind it's less of a "Union" and more of an "Onion" and hang on, hang on let me explain what I mean by that: it's the European Onion because it has many layers and makes an awful lot of people cry when they attempt to cut into it, and what's more it grows in fields and has to be harvested by immigrants, even if it is tasty in stews and with the Sunday Roast and so forth, though personally I much prefer a GOOD OLD YORKSHIRE PUD, and for all I know the Eurocrats are already drawing up plans to stop us eating THAT - so, as I was saying before I either was or was not interrupted, I'll leave that for you to judge, but all I can say is that I've had literally HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF MILLIONS of interruptions from the entitled Remoaner minority during my many years in Parliament and not one of them - not a a single one of them - has been worth listening to so lets hear no more about interruptions, POR FAVOR, so, as I was saying, my constituents, who are not just the salt of the earth but the pepper of the earth too, because you can't have salt without pepper, not in my book you can't unless you're giving up on condiments entirely - or is that yet another EU ruling that's going to be forced on us WILLY-NILLY until the blessed day comes when, in Henry Wordsworth's immortal words, we are finally released from our EU hellhole where we are being held captive against our will and then all at once we turn round and find a crowd of golden daffodils blowing in the wind, because the answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind, and not just in the wind, but on the beaches, because, I TELL YOU THIS, we shall fight them on the beaches, and in the fields and on the what-not, and that's why my constituents are always coming up to me and telling me that it is an ABSOLUTE OUTRAGE, I repeat a TOTAL SCANDAL, that what has happened is not only happening but looks like continuing to happen whatever happens, regardless of the DEMOCRATICALLY DEPRESSED WILL of the British people which flies in the face of the decision of SEVENTEEN POINT FOUR MILLION people who are being roundly ignored by the metropolitan elite, because frankly, frankly, frankly, we're living in a WORLD GONE MAD, which reminds me of something our great national playwright and novelist William Shakespeare once said, and I quote "you can't have your cake and eat it", by which he meant that if I were to go into my local bakery, and order ten sticky buns, and then on the way back I was to pop a couple of them in my mouth, well, that would only leave me with eight sticky buns for when I got home, and in my experience eight sticky buns won't get you very far, not if you've got two hours, till your din-dins it doesn't, so it's HIGH TIME WE WOKE UP TO THE FACT THAT it's better to push the boat out and order a dozen sticky buns, or don't come crying to me when all you've got left is a few crumbs and a bit of sticky at the bottom of your brown paper bad and okay, you can lick it off with your tongue, and very nice too, but it's not going to last forever, is it and believe me, you'll soon be feeling peckish again and, with respect, THAT'S SOMETHING OUR PRIME MINISTER WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND, because, unlike patriots such as my own good self, she has never been a fully paid-up member of the Territorial Army so FRANKLY she doesn't have the FOGGIEST what it's like to march into battle, boots polished, bayonets at the ready, sausage rolls in the rucksack, and FIGHT FOR YOUR COUNTRY, like those brave soldiers in the Crimea, who, in the immortal words of DCI Tennison, went "marching as to war, with the cross of Jesus, going on before!" and, believe you me, those are words that smoothie-woothie parleyvoos like Emmanuel Macron will never understand, not in a million years, because the Frenchies, bless their cotton socks, have never been invaded, or not, at least, like we were by the Romans, who built our magnificent world-beating roads for us, and introduced the much-prized wheel to British society, without which our excellent homegrown cars and other motor vehicles would be TOTALLY and UTTERLY USELESS, because, let's face it, let's face it, let's face it, there's ABSOLUTELY NO WAY you can drive a car that's not got wheels, or you can, but it won't get you very far, mark my words - and that's why I'M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT I'm a patriot, yes, a patriot, and, you know what I think, I think that those SEVENTEEN POINT FOUR MILLION are patriots, too, and that's why they've all seen the Bridge On The River Kwai, and that's also why they have NO INTENTION WHATSOEVER of letting the Japanese, or to be fair, any other foriegn race, Germans, Italians, Hollanders, what-have-you, build some massive great bridge across our beloved English Channel and bring in their cousins and their wives and their aunties and heaven knows who else without the say-so of the British public, and they are sorely mistaken if they think they can stick a gun in my mouth or put a grenade down my pants, clean on today, because I will NEVER, I repeat NEVER EVER EVER submit to the type of bullying that we're seeing today, you see, to quote that great British poet Rudyard Kipling, I've lived a life that's full, I've travelled each and every highway but more, much more than this, you'll be a man, my son, so, with all due respect, and, first things first, let's quit kidding ourselves, shall we and stop believing the porky pies of the metropolitan elite, hmmmm, did someone mention a porky pie, that would go down nicely, thank you very much indeed, but you've had your say, with great respect, and there's another thing, IF YOU'LL JUST LET ME FINISH.
If you'll just let me finish, my constituents, sensible men, women and children first, as honest as the days are getting longer, are literally sick and tired of our continued enforced incarceration within the four walls of this shambles - this SHAMBLES - the politically correct brigade insist on calling the European so-called Union, though to my mind it's less of a "Union" and more of an "Onion" and hang on, hang on let me explain what I mean by that: it's the European Onion because it has many layers and makes an awful lot of people cry when they attempt to cut into it, and what's more it grows in fields and has to be harvested by immigrants, even if it is tasty in stews and with the Sunday Roast and so forth, though personally I much prefer a GOOD OLD YORKSHIRE PUD, and for all I know the Eurocrats are already drawing up plans to stop us eating THAT - so, as I was saying before I either was or was not interrupted, I'll leave that for you to judge, but all I can say is that I've had literally HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF MILLIONS of interruptions from the entitled Remoaner minority during my many years in Parliament and not one of them - not a a single one of them - has been worth listening to so lets hear no more about interruptions, POR FAVOR, so, as I was saying, my constituents, who are not just the salt of the earth but the pepper of the earth too, because you can't have salt without pepper, not in my book you can't unless you're giving up on condiments entirely - or is that yet another EU ruling that's going to be forced on us WILLY-NILLY until the blessed day comes when, in Henry Wordsworth's immortal words, we are finally released from our EU hellhole where we are being held captive against our will and then all at once we turn round and find a crowd of golden daffodils blowing in the wind, because the answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind, and not just in the wind, but on the beaches, because, I TELL YOU THIS, we shall fight them on the beaches, and in the fields and on the what-not, and that's why my constituents are always coming up to me and telling me that it is an ABSOLUTE OUTRAGE, I repeat a TOTAL SCANDAL, that what has happened is not only happening but looks like continuing to happen whatever happens, regardless of the DEMOCRATICALLY DEPRESSED WILL of the British people which flies in the face of the decision of SEVENTEEN POINT FOUR MILLION people who are being roundly ignored by the metropolitan elite, because frankly, frankly, frankly, we're living in a WORLD GONE MAD, which reminds me of something our great national playwright and novelist William Shakespeare once said, and I quote "you can't have your cake and eat it", by which he meant that if I were to go into my local bakery, and order ten sticky buns, and then on the way back I was to pop a couple of them in my mouth, well, that would only leave me with eight sticky buns for when I got home, and in my experience eight sticky buns won't get you very far, not if you've got two hours, till your din-dins it doesn't, so it's HIGH TIME WE WOKE UP TO THE FACT THAT it's better to push the boat out and order a dozen sticky buns, or don't come crying to me when all you've got left is a few crumbs and a bit of sticky at the bottom of your brown paper bad and okay, you can lick it off with your tongue, and very nice too, but it's not going to last forever, is it and believe me, you'll soon be feeling peckish again and, with respect, THAT'S SOMETHING OUR PRIME MINISTER WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND, because, unlike patriots such as my own good self, she has never been a fully paid-up member of the Territorial Army so FRANKLY she doesn't have the FOGGIEST what it's like to march into battle, boots polished, bayonets at the ready, sausage rolls in the rucksack, and FIGHT FOR YOUR COUNTRY, like those brave soldiers in the Crimea, who, in the immortal words of DCI Tennison, went "marching as to war, with the cross of Jesus, going on before!" and, believe you me, those are words that smoothie-woothie parleyvoos like Emmanuel Macron will never understand, not in a million years, because the Frenchies, bless their cotton socks, have never been invaded, or not, at least, like we were by the Romans, who built our magnificent world-beating roads for us, and introduced the much-prized wheel to British society, without which our excellent homegrown cars and other motor vehicles would be TOTALLY and UTTERLY USELESS, because, let's face it, let's face it, let's face it, there's ABSOLUTELY NO WAY you can drive a car that's not got wheels, or you can, but it won't get you very far, mark my words - and that's why I'M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT I'm a patriot, yes, a patriot, and, you know what I think, I think that those SEVENTEEN POINT FOUR MILLION are patriots, too, and that's why they've all seen the Bridge On The River Kwai, and that's also why they have NO INTENTION WHATSOEVER of letting the Japanese, or to be fair, any other foriegn race, Germans, Italians, Hollanders, what-have-you, build some massive great bridge across our beloved English Channel and bring in their cousins and their wives and their aunties and heaven knows who else without the say-so of the British public, and they are sorely mistaken if they think they can stick a gun in my mouth or put a grenade down my pants, clean on today, because I will NEVER, I repeat NEVER EVER EVER submit to the type of bullying that we're seeing today, you see, to quote that great British poet Rudyard Kipling, I've lived a life that's full, I've travelled each and every highway but more, much more than this, you'll be a man, my son, so, with all due respect, and, first things first, let's quit kidding ourselves, shall we and stop believing the porky pies of the metropolitan elite, hmmmm, did someone mention a porky pie, that would go down nicely, thank you very much indeed, but you've had your say, with great respect, and there's another thing, IF YOU'LL JUST LET ME FINISH.