Minichan

Topic: Zeitgeist

Catherine !ttGirlsPl2 started this discussion 7 years ago #81,948

Fuck it, I might as well release this now. I don't think I will ever expand upon it. Kook, this was that one poem I was working on.
Cultural appropriation is a sure fire thing,
you can whine and bitch about it 'till the fat lady sings.
Is that insensitive?
Yeah, probably so,
but life doesn't give a damn about your infatuated ego.
The world is too senstive nowadays.
I pray to the Lord this is simply a phase.
Is this what the internet has done?
It makes me want to reach for a gun.
Because we're too narcissistic we let kooks run our lives.
Gathering every info they can store in archives.
Is it wrong for women to be housewives?
Only due to feminist outcries,
because they are sad and unwise.
Their movement is about choice so there should be no dispute.
But power corrupts and they fall victim to bad attitudes.
The issues maybe legit, but nobody ever realizes it.
This is why we have a child in office who needs a safe space.
Turning the United States into a symbol of disgrace.
Exclude the Right and they will scream loud,
with selfish intents and misplaced morale.
Y'all just need to shut the fuck up 'cause nobody cares.
Just let the snowflakes have their fun.
And go pray to Aslan.
I'm all for equality and there's room for improvement.
Blacks still live in fear from those sworn to protect.
And gays still haven't gain their respected rights yet.
If you feel one way you must conceal it at best
because idiots can't comprehend why someone might be depressed.
And to deny these claims you're simply afraid
of a changing zeitgeist.
Don't be enticed by the pleasantry of the past
it's not always a blast.
Humans like to remember the best,
but ignore the unrest.
But progress has to come in moderation
or we risk a totalitarian nation.
If you try to say I'm disrespectful,
then I'm glad I was successful.
At the end of the day, I don't give a fuck.
I'm about ready to run amok.

Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 18 minutes later[^] [v] #948,712

You really need a plan for some kind of rhyme scheme or meter. Near rhymes in rhyming couplets with no metric balance gives your work a "Dr. Seuss" feel that you probably don't want it to have. It's okay to experiment with a more complex rhyme scheme than AA BB CC... Also, maybe try working on a lyrical meter by counting syllables or having a beat going in the background. Are you just writing this without actually singing it? You don't even need a formal structure if you can use something assonance to give the work an internal structure by lining up repetitive sounds along a natural rhythm of lyrical feet. Even really powerful prose makes use of devices like rhythm and repetition. It's a great vehicle to convey emotion through internal structure.

Kook !!rcSrAtaAC joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 3 hours later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #948,772

What rights don't gays have?

Its not a bad little poem otherwise

(Edited 8 seconds later.)

:

Please familiarise yourself with the rules and markup syntax before posting.