Topic: Why There's An Angel Atop The Christmas Tree
Anonymous A started this discussion 7 years ago #81,905
Late one very cold Christmas Eve in the early 1600's, Santa was having a rough time. He was very hung over and dealing with a nasty bout of diarrhea, Mrs. Claus was very moody from hot flashes, there was reindeer crap all over the front yard of his North Pole workshop, the elves were all drunk and nothing was getting done. Dolls were breaking, train sets weren't working, his tools had been scattered all over the place, he was out of rum, and Santa was really on edge, at his wit's end.There came a knock on the door .. knock! knock! knock! .. Santa answered it, and there stood an angel.
She said, "Santa, what would you like me to do with this one last Christmas tree?"
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 6 minutes later[^] [v] #948,389
4/10
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 3 hours later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #948,499
i mean like with a different set-up the punchline could have worked. but it didn't. that's bad delivery, son. you won't make it in this business. you gotta lay it on the audience and really make them work for it. you know, come up there and make them beg you for comedy. you know what i mean. like, can i get a water? am i right!? physical comedy is DELIVERIN G these days. you gotta get up on stage doused in chicken grease. you gotta throw shit at the audience. just piss in their faces when you're up there on that stage - that's what works. these people love getting pissed on. you got a heckler?? point a GUN at him and see if he keeps heckling!!!!! you gotta really work the crowd. you gotta cut yourself and shoot your foot and do what it takes. you gotta set yourself on fire kid. you have to DISEMBOWEL yourselF FOR COMEDY if you wanna make it in this biz. i don't make the rulse kid i just FOLLOW em
Sheila LaBoof joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 1 hour later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #948,523
Sheila LaBoof double-posted this 7 years ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #948,524
Sheila LaBoof triple-posted this 7 years ago, 52 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #948,525
Sheila LaBoof quadruple-posted this 7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #948,526
Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 5 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #948,527
Captain Kate Carr joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 2 hours later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #948,535
My mom doesn't like Christmas tree toppers
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #948,536
Didn't read lol
Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 4 hours later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #948,554
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 7 years ago, 1 week later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #951,658
Father Merrin !u5oFWxmY7U joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 2 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #951,679
@948,499 (C)
> i mean like with a different set-up the punchline could have worked. but it didn't. that's bad delivery, son. you won't make it in this business. you gotta lay it on the audience and really make them work for it. you know, come up there and make them beg you for comedy. you know what i mean. like, can i get a water? am i right!? physical comedy is DELIVERIN G these days. you gotta get up on stage doused in chicken grease. you gotta throw shit at the audience. just piss in their faces when you're up there on that stage - that's what works. these people love getting pissed on. you got a heckler?? point a GUN at him and see if he keeps heckling!!!!! you gotta really work the crowd. you gotta cut yourself and shoot your foot and do what it takes. you gotta set yourself on fire kid. you have to DISEMBOWEL yourselF FOR COMEDY if you wanna make it in this biz. i don't make the rulse kid i just FOLLOW em
Underappreciated post.
> i mean like with a different set-up the punchline could have worked. but it didn't. that's bad delivery, son. you won't make it in this business. you gotta lay it on the audience and really make them work for it. you know, come up there and make them beg you for comedy. you know what i mean. like, can i get a water? am i right!? physical comedy is DELIVERIN G these days. you gotta get up on stage doused in chicken grease. you gotta throw shit at the audience. just piss in their faces when you're up there on that stage - that's what works. these people love getting pissed on. you got a heckler?? point a GUN at him and see if he keeps heckling!!!!! you gotta really work the crowd. you gotta cut yourself and shoot your foot and do what it takes. you gotta set yourself on fire kid. you have to DISEMBOWEL yourselF FOR COMEDY if you wanna make it in this biz. i don't make the rulse kid i just FOLLOW em
Underappreciated post.
Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 3 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #951,688
Lenny Bruce said niggerr nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger
(Edited 12 seconds later.)
Sheila LaBoof replied with this 7 years ago, 4 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #951,745
people bitch about how a comedian can't play at a school without pissing off some sensitive cow, but Lenny Bruce actually got the power of the state against him, getting arrested and jailed for jokes about lesbians and shit like that