Topic: I'm starting to question if I am asexual again.
Catherine !ttGirlsPl2 started this discussion 7 years ago#80,120
And I don't know why. I have some really f'ed up fetishes yet it seems like none of them ever actually involve intercourse unless it's forced upon me. Maybe that's why it ends up being forced upon is because I'm just not interested in it and even when on the hormones I found myself drifting away from the idea of it. I never masturbated which is why that semen analysis test was a complicated issue for me just to get something into the cup. It's strange, I never really felt like a freak for undergoing gender transitioning yet everytime I start to question if I am asexual that's when it feels like I'm an abnormality. I've chatted with a few asexuals in the past and one of my friends fairly recently told me a lot about asexuality as that is what she identifies her sexuality as. I would like to dismiss this as some kind of Tumblrism and yet I can't since it feels like a very real possibility to me. Hell, I would love to view from the perspective of someone who doesn't believe in gender dysphoria yet I can't since I know first hand that it's real. I'm not even sure why I am not attracted by nudity. I have an attraction to women and men but they have to be clothed or even half-naked, but if they are fully naked it's something that I would close or back out of immediately. I dunno, I suppose I don't really know enough about asexuality or aromanticism to really come to a decision regarding if I am one of them. Fuck.
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 1 minute later[^][v]#932,830
Fuck.
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 11 minutes later, 13 minutes after the original post[^][v]#932,831
Why not just be attracted to whatever you're attracted to and not worry about what you think you should be attracted to? People have different levels of interest in sex just like people have different levels of interest in everything else.
Catherine !ttGirlsPl2 (OP) replied with this 7 years ago, 5 minutes later, 18 minutes after the original post[^][v]#932,832
@previous (C)
I try to hold this, but what I am questioning isn't so much who I am attracted to it's why I seem to lack all interest in the actual process of sexual intercourse. I just never seem to be interested in it yet I have fetishes in some of the more intimidating aspects of BDSM like bondage. It's weird and I don't know why. I didn't come back to start questioning if I am asexual until I tried to find a word for what this could be. Asexuality more or less means "without sex." So here I am again questioning if this is me. I just do not get interested in the actual act of sex and then it makes me depressed because it feels like I come down with a case of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). Even if I were to lose my virginity tomorrow, I don't think that would be enough to get me to try and seek it out again. Even fucking masturbation felt like a fucking chore for me. Jesus... I feel like such a freak.
Anonymous C replied with this 7 years ago, 39 minutes later, 57 minutes after the original post[^][v]#932,839
@previous (Catherine !ttGirlsPl2)
You can be asexual for a while in your life and change your mind later if you feel like it. It doesn't have to be something that is written in stone forever. You'll probably only miss out if you would have enjoyed it. If you don't feel like you would enjoy it now, then don't worry about it. The same goes for hang-gliding or running marathons or training to be a CPA. There's nothing to miss if you don't want to do it in the first place. And trying to force it just makes things awkward.
You'll have the rest of your life to sit around and worry about things you should have done. Everybody does that. Don't be someone whose regret is that they got hung up on worrying about some arbitrary standard of normal.
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,860
Jesus fucking christ.....
If you want to cut your dick off, stop being a pussy and do it.
If you want to learn how to masturbate so it's not so fucking hard, rent a video.
If you want to wear a dress and lipstick and look like a fag when you're walking down the street, fucking do it.
If you want to be asexual and not have intercourse, then don't.
If you want to shove 3 celery sticks and a cucumber up your ass, then make a fucking salad with those same items, then enjoy your healthy shit meal.
If you want to jerk off Bert so he can give you a disgusting load of dressing for your salad, then do it.
Stop putting your stupid shit here, nobody gives a flying fuck.
NB4 you make stupid "you must care, you replied" comment. And no, I didn't read this thread, I read headline and instantly knew it was you sir.
Catherine !ttGirlsPl2 (OP) replied with this 7 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,862
@previous (D) > If you want to shove 3 celery sticks and a cucumber up your ass, then make a fucking salad with those same items, then enjoy your healthy shit meal.
This was oddly specific and why only 3 celery sticks?
> If you want to jerk off Bert so he can give you a disgusting load of dressing for your salad, then do it.
That one crossed some lines there.
Catherine !ttGirlsPl2 (OP) double-posted this 7 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,865
@932,839 (C)
True, I think I just feel pressured because my brother always brings this up. There are a few others here too who say I should get laid even from some whom I respect. So it just makes me feel out of place when it seems like everyone in the world actively peruses sex. You’re right though. Maybe I do need to just stop worrying about arbitrary standards of normal.
Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 20 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,869
@previous (Catherine !ttGirlsPl2)
Hang in there my boy!
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 2 hours later, 6 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,876
My thoughts..and I don't get serious on here to often. So here goes.
Quit trying to label yourself. Just do what your gut/heart tells you. Fuck what anyone else think..it is your life so get the hell out there and live it the way YOU want to at this point in your life.
One thing I can tell you I know for a fact..as years go on, your wants and needs change. What you want and feel now might be totally different in a few years and then change again and again. There is nothing wrong with that it is just a part of growing up/old
Omen !TXMF.b2teU replied with this 7 years ago, 22 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,878
Kook !!rcSrAtaAC joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 1 hour later, 8 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,890
I don't know if it is asexuality if you don't pursue sex, but would allow it to happen if a dominant person pushes for it. You just seem like a very passive person
Syntax joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 48 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,901
@previous (Kook !!rcSrAtaAC)
I have yet to figure how Cathy decided he was a She before looking into the basic premise of Sexuality and why she does not have such.
Omen !TXMF.b2teU replied with this 7 years ago, 35 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,907
> My thoughts..and I don't get serious on here to often. So here goes. > > Quit trying to label yourself. Just do what your gut/heart tells you. Fuck what anyone else think..it is your life so get the hell out there and live it the way YOU want to at this point in your life. > > One thing I can tell you I know for a fact..as years go on, your wants and needs change. What you want and feel now might be totally different in a few years and then change again and again. There is nothing wrong with that it is just a part of growing up/old
Tell us what else you've learnt from watching Oprah, you fag.
Anonymous I joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 57 minutes later, 10 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,920
@previous (Omen !TXMF.b2teU)
wow thanks for your input great reply
Meta !Sober//iZs joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 10 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,921
I mean if you're not interested in sex I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, I don't like TV but I don't beat myself up over it or obsess about it. I just go on with life happily not watching TV. There are some benefits, too. Like I'm immune to spoilers cause I don't watch any of it anyway. Maybe you're that way with sex.
Anonymous F replied with this 7 years ago, 6 minutes later, 10 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,922
> Tell us what else you've learnt from watching Oprah, you fag.
I have learned a lot more about life than you have from sucking sailor's dicks at the out of the way heads you frequent.... you motherfucking closeted cum guzzler.
Anonymous K joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 46 minutes later, 11 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,934
Catherine, let's get back to basics. What/who gives you a boner and makes you want to have an orgasm?
ugh replied with this 7 years ago, 17 minutes later, 11 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,940
@previous (K) > I never masturbated
Due need glasses. Did you read her text?
Perhaps you masturbate so much you are going blind.
Omen !!gg89Kgn2v joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 11 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,941
@932,907 (Omen !TXMF.b2teU)
You just keep failing lol
Anonymous M joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 23 minutes later, 12 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,946
@932,890 (Kook !!rcSrAtaAC)
That last part is likely true. And the only reason, as I already noted, why asexuality comes up is because why does such things as intercourse have to be forced when it comes to my attraction? Shouldn't it just feel natural to want it and not having to shoehorn it in with the explanation of rape? Then again, you do raise a good point in that the idea of rape seems to be a turn on, though maybe that's just the submission fetish talking. I try not thinking about this too much, but it's just whenever my brother starts talking about sex or tries to insist that I try it always brings up thoughts about how come I never tried to pursue it myself which then makes me think I'm a freak for not pursuing something that gets called natural as that is how the human species evolved.
I asked my asexual friend if they ever had felt that they were a freak or abnormal when they realized their asexuality and they had a more opposite sensation. They told me they felt liberated and free which I could understand to an extent since if you're not focusing too hard on sex then you're free to engage or pursue in other things. Though for me I don't know what that could be beside school or fucking video games that I'm not even good at. I still never beat the Ender Dragon in vanilla Minecraft as one example, because I just load up the game and mess around. Yes, I used that game as an example since I always get accused of talking about this specific game, which to be fair, is most likely true since it's heroin to me. So here's a freebie for ya'll.
@932,934 (K)
Even a fucking straightforward question like this is something I cannot answer. I've had erections but they were mostly just random and sometimes at things non-sexual. I think bondage may have been the only thing that is even remotely related to sexuality that may have triggered my boners, but the rest I don't know. I could tell you what genders I am attracted to since I always had crushes on girls in school though that is was obviously met with some extra emotions that most normal boys wouldn't have. Though I think I might like men too so that is why "sexuality" in terms of what gender one is attracted to was never really an issue for me since I would just say questioning, bi, or bicurious.
@932,940 (ugh)
This too. I feel a little shame that the first time I could say I actually masturbated was at a fertility clinic and even then it may not have been enough. I didn't even utilize what they provided. I tried looking at the porno but all I could think of is how much money these porn actors make or how cheesy/corny they are. The magazines they had I immediately gravitated my focus to the one non-sexual article in the whole thing which was just about video games. I would like to say that they require you to wash your hands and balls before you begin so it felt like a sort of wudu.
@932,947 (M)
They say sexuality and gender identity are separate. I could believe that shit now, to be honest. THen again, if they were combined entities then shouldn't there really be one sexuality instead of two or three? Why would women find women attractive? Why would men find men attractive? Shut the fuck up, brain!
Anonymous I replied with this 7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 14 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,982
> Limerence? ? > > > That last part is likely true. And the only reason, as I already noted, why asexuality comes up is because why does such things as intercourse have to be forced when it comes to my attraction? Shouldn't it just feel natural to want it and not having to shoehorn it in with the explanation of rape? Then again, you do raise a good point in that the idea of rape seems to be a turn on, though maybe that's just the submission fetish talking. I try not thinking about this too much, but it's just whenever my brother starts talking about sex or tries to insist that I try it always brings up thoughts about how come I never tried to pursue it myself which then makes me think I'm a freak for not pursuing something that gets called natural as that is how the human species evolved. > > I asked my asexual friend if they ever had felt that they were a freak or abnormal when they realized their asexuality and they had a more opposite sensation. They told me they felt liberated and free which I could understand to an extent since if you're not focusing too hard on sex then you're free to engage or pursue in other things. Though for me I don't know what that could be beside school or fucking video games that I'm not even good at. I still never beat the Ender Dragon in vanilla Minecraft as one example, because I just load up the game and mess around. Yes, I used that game as an example since I always get accused of talking about this specific game, which to be fair, is most likely true since it's heroin to me. So here's a freebie for ya'll. > > > Even a fucking straightforward question like this is something I cannot answer. I've had erections but they were mostly just random and sometimes at things non-sexual. I think bondage may have been the only thing that is even remotely related to sexuality that may have triggered my boners, but the rest I don't know. I could tell you what genders I am attracted to since I always had crushes on girls in school though that is was obviously met with some extra emotions that most normal boys wouldn't have. Though I think I might like men too so that is why "sexuality" in terms of what gender one is attracted to was never really an issue for me since I would just say questioning, bi, or bicurious. > > > This too. I feel a little shame that the first time I could say I actually masturbated was at a fertility clinic and even then it may not have been enough. I didn't even utilize what they provided. I tried looking at the porno but all I could think of is how much money these porn actors make or how cheesy/corny they are. The magazines they had I immediately gravitated my focus to the one non-sexual article in the whole thing which was just about video games. I would like to say that they require you to wash your hands and balls before you begin so it felt like a sort of wudu. > > > They say sexuality and gender identity are separate. I could believe that shit now, to be honest. THen again, if they were combined entities then shouldn't there really be one sexuality instead of two or three? Why would women find women attractive? Why would men find men attractive? Shut the fuck up, brain!
yikes
Anonymous N joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 22 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,986
Have you tried just being human, and not giving a shit about the labels people put on you? Words only have the power you give them.
(Edited 20 seconds later.)
Meta !Sober//iZs replied with this 7 years ago, 3 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,989
Just try looking up all kinds of weird fetish shit until you find something. Like maybe you're an adult baby and don't even know it. Or a furry. You know weird shit like that.
Catherine !ttGirlsPl2 (OP) replied with this 7 years ago, 1 minute later, 15 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,991
@previous (Meta !Sober//iZs)
Please don't bring up furries. I have questioned if I am a furry in denial since there is something intriguing about those furry suits even if they scare the bejeesus out of me.
Meta !Sober//iZs replied with this 7 years ago, 1 minute later, 15 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,993
@previous (Catherine !ttGirlsPl2) > Please don't bring up furries
Aaaand we found it.
Try yiffing.
Catherine !ttGirlsPl2 (OP) replied with this 7 years ago, 47 seconds later, 15 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,994
@previous (Meta !Sober//iZs)
It doesn't excite me that much. I would likely just want to curl up next to a fursuit.
Anonymous N replied with this 7 years ago, 35 seconds later, 15 hours after the original post[^][v]#932,995
Kook !!rcSrAtaAC replied with this 7 years ago, 2 hours later, 17 hours after the original post[^][v]#933,021
@932,989 (Meta !Sober//iZs)
I really think that Catherine might be an adult baby.
There is one that I like, who doesn't come across as too creepy.
He is called blond diaper boy on YouTube. You should check him out.
On and another Youtuber who hints at being an adult baby is Venus Angelic, and she isn't creepy at all. Plus she might be a polyglot
Anonymous O joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 45 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^][v]#933,033
Meta !Sober//iZs replied with this 7 years ago, 1 hour later, 19 hours after the original post[^][v]#933,066
@933,021 (Kook !!rcSrAtaAC)
When adult babies get old enough to be in the nursing home and they can wear diapers and get fed formula, is that a good thing?
Kook !!rcSrAtaAC replied with this 7 years ago, 23 minutes later, 19 hours after the original post[^][v]#933,073
@previous (Meta !Sober//iZs)
Is likely is for them
Not for everyone else though
Catherine !ttGirlsPl2 (OP) replied with this 7 years ago, 51 minutes later, 20 hours after the original post[^][v]#933,092
@933,021 (Kook !!rcSrAtaAC)
I thought of that too, but I'm not sure. I don't think that sounds like me.
Catherine !ttGirlsPl2 (OP) double-posted this 7 years ago, 29 seconds later, 20 hours after the original post[^][v]#933,093
@933,066 (Meta !Sober//iZs)
They say we all regress in a sense back to infancy when we get older.
Kook !!rcSrAtaAC replied with this 7 years ago, 15 minutes later, 20 hours after the original post[^][v]#933,102
@933,092 (Catherine !ttGirlsPl2)
I think its so sometimes, become you are immature and guilless, and also so passive and yearning to be dominated.
Meta !Sober//iZs replied with this 7 years ago, 14 minutes later, 21 hours after the original post[^][v]#933,104
Also > question if I am asexual again.
Did you ever feel you were not asexual?