Topic: God just told me I'm going to die tomorrow.

Anonymous A started this discussion 7 years ago #78,657

He's told me this before though so I might not, I'll update until I die (or don't).

(Edited 16 seconds later.)

Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 29 minutes later[^] [v] #917,861

cool

Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 3 hours later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #917,996

Good riddance

Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 22 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #917,999

God is the all knowing, all seeing, all trolling essence of the universe. He created you just to troll you, and in doing that multiply His greatness.

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 46 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #918,005

A guy goes to Las Vegas to gamble. He ends up losing way more than he intended to, so he leaves the casino and goes back to his hotel room. As he is getting ready for bed, he hears a booming voice from the heavens telling him, "Go back and put $5000 on black." The guy, not wanting to gamble any more, but also not wanting to disobey a supernatural command eventually heads back downstairs. He bets $5000 on black and wins. After he wins he hears the voice again. "Bet $10,000 on black again." The guy gets more chips and puts $10,000 on black. Lo and behold, he wins again. He hears the voice one more time, "Bet all the money you have on black." The guy empties all his bank accounts, his kids' college fund, his retirement account and bets it all on black. The roulette wheel spins and the ball lands on red. The voice says, "Fuck."

(Edited 7 minutes later.)

Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #918,006

@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
Is this an appropriate topic for your “killer shit”, Jackie?

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 7 years ago, 6 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #918,007

@previous (F)
No because this joke is actually funny.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 7 years ago, 8 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #918,010

@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)

I laughed

Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 49 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #918,013

bye felicia

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 7 years ago, 8 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #918,015

Update, going to bed very much alive. God says I have a weak heart.

(Edited 15 seconds later.)

Anonymous B replied with this 7 years ago, 18 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #918,016

@previous (A)
it's only.been 6 hours bro

Syntax joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 1 hour later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #918,024

Yom Kippur is on Wednesday time for me to eat my herring in the thick sauce with the onions yummy —————-> toodles

Anonymous I joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 31 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #918,025

@previous (Syntax)

> Obsessed

Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 27 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #918,026

@918,024 (Syntax)
Can it

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 7 years ago, 15 hours later, 23 hours after the original post[^] [v] #918,094

Update, it's 6.25pm and I'm not dead yet!

Anonymous G replied with this 7 years ago, 2 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #918,138

@previous (A)
*Update, god never spoke to you because he's not real and you're full of literal shit

Father Merrin !u5oFWxmY7U joined in and replied with this 7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #918,141

@previous (G)

> *Update, god never spoke to you because he's not real

Can you prove this?

Anonymous G replied with this 7 years ago, 29 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #918,150

@previous (Father Merrin !u5oFWxmY7U)
Can you prove otherwise?

Father Merrin !u5oFWxmY7U replied with this 7 years ago, 16 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #918,151

@previous (G)
Onus is on you. You made the initial claim, not me. And you can't prove it. So ok, thanks, that'll be all.

Anonymous D replied with this 7 years ago, 22 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #918,154

@OP
God is probably like one of those TV psychics. He knows if he keeps predicting your death every day, then he is going to be right eventually. Then he's never going to shut up about that one time he totally predicted your death hours before it happened.

(Edited 50 seconds later.)

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 7 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #918,163

23.33pm and still not dead. Getting nervous.

Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 7 years ago, 45 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #918,169

Okay it's tomorrow. Guess you got me again God, you scamp.

Anonymous G replied with this 7 years ago, 12 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #918,177

@918,151 (Father Merrin !u5oFWxmY7U)
Damn, now I see why everyone(including your dead mother) hates you.

Father Merrin !u5oFWxmY7U replied with this 7 years ago, 12 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #918,179

@previous (G)

> Damn

Stumped you :)))

Anonymous G replied with this 7 years ago, 28 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #918,180

@previous (Father Merrin !u5oFWxmY7U)
> Stumped you :)))

I wholeheartedly agree. I really did stump you.

Father Merrin !u5oFWxmY7U replied with this 7 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #918,181

@previous (G)

> > Stumped you :)))
>
> I wholeheartedly agree.

Good to know! :)))

Minichan