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Topic: They should make a movie based on Fake Anon's loss of virginity.
Anonymous A started this discussion 8 years ago#72,601
It starts out with this nebbish Jewish kid from Brooklyn. He likes MtG and chess and C-SPAN. He gets a BA in philosophy and moves out to Washington DC to be a power player. He moves in with this sexy Jewish roommate and loses his virginity. Because he hasn't had sex before, he's unaware of his superpower which is when he nuts in a sexy woman, his testicles grow massive (like the Grinch's heart when he realizes the true meaning of Christmas) and the resulting surge of testosterone makes him into a superhero. He makes Duke Nukem look like the Buzzfeed soyboys in comparison.
His testicles grow so big that he has to wear a 36DD bra as underwear to support them. But he's comfortable enough with his heterosexuality that it isn't a problem and he's just thankful he can find 18-hour support from Maidenform.
He goes to a skinhead bar wearing Orthodox Jew clothes and all the nazis go to attack him and he kills them all with an Uzi and then he finds the Klan leader and hangs him up by the ankles and cuts his throat so all the blood drains out. The he throws some Kosher salt on the bodies and he's all like "this is Purim and you just got Koshered ?". He takes a swig of Manischewitz. This is tikkun olam, hardcore.
He also carries shirukens in the shape of the Star of David with razor sharp edges which he somehow manages never to cut his fingers on when he throws them.
He basically turns into Samson but instead of having his hair cut, he needs have to sex at least three times a day with his roommate to keep his powers. If he goes without sex for more than 8 hours he turns back into Woody Allen.
The tension in the story is will he be able to keep up sex with his roommate? He needs to because President Trump has just given him the responsibility of defeating ISIS.