Topic: Am I permafried?
Anonymous A started this discussion 15 years ago #6,966
Okay, so I'll make this pretty simple. I started taking drugs recreationally last October. It was really occasional, maybe a toke or two a month, and some pills of choice (benzos, sometimes Adderall). Then this past February, like four months ago, something snapped in me and I started binging. Weed and benzos, specifically klonopin, sometimes Ativan or Valium, every day. Heavy doses, too. I'd often throw in alcohol to the mix, basically destroying my memory. That phase of partying went on for awhile, then I moved into the rave scene two months ago in April. I've been to five raves, rolled (took Molly/E) at each, and I've done a number of other drugs like ketamine, shrooms, and nitrous. I've been doing this while continuing to frequently use weed and pills, not every day but at least once every 3 days.
I hippy flipped (rolled on E and took shrooms) last night at a rave, and smoked a lot of weed. The pills I took were high MDMA but cut with meth, so I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping. That isn't really the issue though, more so I'm just scared that I've permanently damaged my brain. Everything feels so different. My thought process just isn't the same. I space out a lot. I used to be a "hard worker" with a lot of focus, but now the thought of working is repulsive. I haven't done a bit of work since January at the latest. I'm just lazy as fuck, and I feel like part of it is E-tardation, and the rest is just some pothead/benzo bullshit.
When will this go away? Will I ever be okay again? Will my brain return to "normal"? I really, at this point, have no plans on not partying anymore. Last night was one of the best nights of my life. Every time I go to a rave, I have so much more fun than the last time. Not partying isn't an option for me anymore - but if I keep doing what I'm doing will I end up permafried? Am I already permafried?
Seriously, I don't want to end up the friend everyone has who did too much E and is now basically a vegetable. That shit WILL fuck you up.
I hippy flipped (rolled on E and took shrooms) last night at a rave, and smoked a lot of weed. The pills I took were high MDMA but cut with meth, so I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping. That isn't really the issue though, more so I'm just scared that I've permanently damaged my brain. Everything feels so different. My thought process just isn't the same. I space out a lot. I used to be a "hard worker" with a lot of focus, but now the thought of working is repulsive. I haven't done a bit of work since January at the latest. I'm just lazy as fuck, and I feel like part of it is E-tardation, and the rest is just some pothead/benzo bullshit.
When will this go away? Will I ever be okay again? Will my brain return to "normal"? I really, at this point, have no plans on not partying anymore. Last night was one of the best nights of my life. Every time I go to a rave, I have so much more fun than the last time. Not partying isn't an option for me anymore - but if I keep doing what I'm doing will I end up permafried? Am I already permafried?
Seriously, I don't want to end up the friend everyone has who did too much E and is now basically a vegetable. That shit WILL fuck you up.
(Edited 4 minutes later.)
n04rnjj joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later[^] [v] #121,848
Fucktard. This is all I'm posting in your shitty thread faggotAnonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 4 minutes later, 6 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #121,857
@previous (n04rnjj)
Fuck you dude, you don't know what it feels like to have your brain literally altered. Imagine the way you think about things now and the way your consciousness feels. Then imagine a piece of that being taken away or clouded over. That's what I feel like. My brain feels like mush these days, even when I go a couple days completely sober.
Fuck you dude, you don't know what it feels like to have your brain literally altered. Imagine the way you think about things now and the way your consciousness feels. Then imagine a piece of that being taken away or clouded over. That's what I feel like. My brain feels like mush these days, even when I go a couple days completely sober.
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 7 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #121,861
You are probably already dead, OP.
Meowth joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 16 seconds later, 7 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #121,862
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 9 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #121,868
The weird thing is that it really hasn't been very long at all but I've done so much in so little time. I've probably consumed like 2 grams of MDMA in total in those 5 rolls I've had. They've all been really intense - it's either been a lot of pure Molly or 3 (good quality) bombs of E.
green joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #121,908
I know that feel.
Meowth replied with this 15 years ago, 8 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #121,914
protip !!pMmAiEwOm joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 9 hours later, 11 hours after the original post[^] [v] #122,049
Depressive psychosis?