@previous (B)
I push my penis downwards, ever so far in order to urinate onto my butt hole with an intensive warm wash to ridden of any faeces that may be present. I use a hairbrush to filter any poo crumbs that have embedded into my anal hair and deposit them one by one into the toilet bowl with my fingers after a quick sniff of my homegrown pearls. To dry my wet anus and rid it of my pee, I sit on the carpet and scrape my arse up and down until it erodes a layer of skin away ( this makes quite a rather nice cheeky snack if that's what you're into ).
I would never use paper because it's a waste of a trees life, as well as the fact it's far less hygienic than the methods currently in place.
(Edited 49 seconds later.)