Topic: All of you have stinky anuses except me.
Anonymous A started this discussion 15 years ago #6,655
I just came to that realization after having a talk with my good fiancée, Grumpy Bur (who also has a stinky anus.) I also find it revoltingly gross that Toaster had to wipe his ass so much that the commode clogged up with shit smeared toilet paper. His resolution to this was using a Mark and Spencer's hanger to shove the shit down, which is equally gross. Now, I do suggest you use the instructions I have provided in the picture to prevent malodorous shit tards piling up in your anuses because your toilet paper (which probably isn't even Charmin brand) missed a spot.
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 55 seconds later[^] [v] #116,745
This is why I never will meet you in real life.
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #116,746
Shut up, fag.Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 58 seconds later, 3 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #116,747
@116,745 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
This isn't the time for you to be butthurtmad over your stinky anus. I told you what to do.
This isn't the time for you to be butthurtmad over your stinky anus. I told you what to do.
mountainman !4EB6xd.Oos joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #116,891
carebear detected
[^_^] !IOdbnXsKDk joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #116,898
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #116,912
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #117,011
@OP
Yeah yeah, we all know how much you love washing your stinky asshole with a bidet.
In AMURKKAH, we use toilet paper, you can fuck off with your bidet BS, if i want to wash my anus, I take a fucking shower.
:D
Yeah yeah, we all know how much you love washing your stinky asshole with a bidet.
In AMURKKAH, we use toilet paper, you can fuck off with your bidet BS, if i want to wash my anus, I take a fucking shower.
:D
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #117,013
Anonymous F replied with this 15 years ago, 18 seconds later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #117,014
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #117,016
Anonymous F replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #117,019
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #117,026
@previous (F)
The thing is, you don't take a shower to wash your ass. You take a shower to take a shower. Your ass being washed is just another advantage of taking a shower. SO, NIGGUH YOU GOT A NASTY ASS.
The thing is, you don't take a shower to wash your ass. You take a shower to take a shower. Your ass being washed is just another advantage of taking a shower. SO, NIGGUH YOU GOT A NASTY ASS.
Anonymous F replied with this 15 years ago, 13 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #117,037
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 23 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #117,040
Ionize OP.
Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 4 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #117,042
Anonymous I joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 hours later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #117,081
@117,040 (G)
This.
Also just shave your ass guys it makes it WAY easier to clean plus it looks nice. Your farts should also sound different, it's got something to do with the resonance of the sound waves between your smooth butt cheeks.
This.
Also just shave your ass guys it makes it WAY easier to clean plus it looks nice. Your farts should also sound different, it's got something to do with the resonance of the sound waves between your smooth butt cheeks.
Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 10 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #117,086
Anonymous I replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #117,089
Anonymous J replied with this 15 years ago, 5 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #117,090
@previous (I)
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble ****ting.
No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.
I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.
I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.
Little did I know.
I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.
Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic **- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky **/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.
Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering **/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own ** blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."
Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.
Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble ****ting.
No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.
I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.
I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.
Little did I know.
I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.
Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic **- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky **/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.
Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering **/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own ** blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."
Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.
Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!
r04r joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 11 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #117,094
Fuck off. You're nearing DM Levels of shtick.