Minichan

Topic: Matt, how do I chop onions without crying?

Anonymous A started this discussion 9 years ago #65,064

Any tips?

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 1 hour later[^] [v] #806,152

I don't know the technical term for it, but don't cut off the...root(?) at the bottom. The brown hairy part. Do all your chopping then at the end cut off that part.

Green !BEERiVqJJw joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 13 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #806,154

You just cut it in half and stick it in a burger.

Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 2 hours later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,181

OP
Build a robot to chop onions.

The Witch Doctor !6W1Zpe4MCM joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 13 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,182

Cut off the tip, but there is nothing you can do to completely eliminate it.

Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 4 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,184

big boys don't cry..

Anonymous D replied with this 9 years ago, 4 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,190

@806,182 (The Witch Doctor !6W1Zpe4MCM)
BS
Robot-Coupe Cutter Mixer R 8 - Chopping onions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsDdJ676juk

Home made version with carrots as a demo.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2u8E-4YVANU
Onions broccoli tomatoes etc.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISPnkVMxkcs

Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 32 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,229

Hold your breath

Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 2 hours later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,237

Rinse thoroughly beforehand.

Anonymous H double-posted this 9 years ago, 36 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,238

@806,152 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
Why would this possibly work

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 9 years ago, 1 minute later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,240

@previous (H)
I think it's something like the root contains the highest concentration of shit that makes your eyes water. Could be an old wives tale.

Anonymous H replied with this 9 years ago, 7 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,241

@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
I just read about it and apparently what happens is a gas is created when you break the cells. I think OP should invest in a microscope and cut in between the cells.

Lipton® Customer Service Team joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 39 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,254

Can we suggest using Lipton® Recipe Secrets® Onion Soup Mix instead? It's the secret to great tasting recipes!

Anonymous F replied with this 9 years ago, 23 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,258

I heard something once about putting bread on your shoulder...whilst chopping the onion was supposed to help..

Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 53 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,268

@OP
Wear a scuba mask.

The Witch Doctor !6W1Zpe4MCM replied with this 9 years ago, 55 seconds later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,269

Another solution: grow a pair like a real chef and just suffer.

FuckAlms !vX8K53rFBI joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 14 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,270

Light a candle and keep it nearby.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 9 years ago, 6 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,275

Am I the only person who doesn't cry when chopping onions?

The Witch Doctor !6W1Zpe4MCM replied with this 9 years ago, 4 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,277

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Yes. Thanks.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 9 years ago, 30 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,289

@previous (The Witch Doctor !6W1Zpe4MCM)
I seem to have some sort of resistance to toxins and poison.

Anonymous E replied with this 9 years ago, 8 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,296

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
That is a great boon. Maybe you can work for MI6?

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 9 years ago, 9 minutes later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,299

Wear safety goggles.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 9 years ago, 2 minutes later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,301

@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
Will these eclipse safety glasses work instead?

chili dog !!81dzJNNYL joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 1 minute later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,303

chew gum
wear goggles/glasses/contacts
have a large bowl or sink full of water next to where you are chopping the onions.

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 9 years ago, 5 minutes later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,305

@806,301 (A)
No they only stop eclipses from reaching your eye. Everything else goes through as though they arent there.

乇乂ㄒ尺卂ㄒ卄|匚匚 joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 2 hours later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,329

Grow genetically modified onions that won't make you cry. Those Japanese did it!!!

hayroll joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 11 hours later, 23 hours after the original post[^] [v] #806,433

Start laughing.
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