Your premise is fucked. Matt only eats Chinese food cooked in 3rd world shit holes.
@previous (B)
Are you incapable of imagining a hypothetical situation?
It's the back exit of a new age shop.
The proprietor hears them squabbling in the ally and offers free chakra cleansing/balancing crystal therapy for first-time customers, they all reluctantly agree because the hippie is holding them at gunpoint. Afterward, they reek of patchouli yet feel much better having had their "chakras unclogged". Although that feeling could easily be attributed to the echinopsis pachanoi that the hippie drugged them with via free samples of the shop's signature cacti smoothies. Crazy straws combined with tiny umbrellas have the uncanny ability to make even the most unappealing green slime seem appetizing. These smoothies had crazy straws and tiny umbrellas, obviously.
The entheogen gives them each a similar revelation and they all decide not to waste any more time trolling each other or spreading strife. Instead, they decide to pursue a religious life of quiet introspection and become ascetics together. Later on, they're all in the Pacific tandem surfing and spreading the gospel to godless heathen islanders when they're dashed against
rocks an underwater mine. They all die simultaneously, but since they still smelled of patchouli from like a decade ago, a nearby basking shark had fled from the stench a half hour before and doesn't die in the explosion. This is a good thing because basking sharks are a vulnerable species.
The basking shark, who was allergic to hippies/patchouli, goes on to have a litter of sharklings. This is a positive thing because basking sharks are a vulnerable species. Three of these sharklings happen to be the reincarnation of three internet trolls mentioned above in the OP.
The story of these three sharkling trolls is tragically cut short soon after their rebirth when they all die in a predictable standoff with a nuclear sub off the coast of North Korea. This is a sad thing because basking sharks are a vulnerable species. I hope this story has brought the importance of conservation efforts to the forefront of your mind. Please do your part to save the basking sharks:
http://www.sharktrust.org/en/donateSyntax hides behind the dumpster, TG prances off wearing an opera cape looking for some more children to molest, Indy shops for a Chinese sewer oil lampshade