Minichan

Topic: FAO: Jesus

Anonymous A started this discussion 9 years ago #61,676

If you are indeed real, turn my bottle of water into the finest wine that has ever roamed the Heavens and Earth. Thanks.

Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 1 minute later[^] [v] #778,501

wine doesn't roam stupid

Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 33 seconds later, 1 minute after the original post[^] [v] #778,502

turn that poop into wine

Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 6 minutes later, 8 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #778,503

Jesus pissed into a glass. You can do the same OP

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 9 years ago, 59 seconds later, 9 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #778,504

@778,501 (B)
Listen up, chump. Wine travels all over the place but it has not yet travelled to my water bottle.

Jesus joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 34 minutes later, 43 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #778,515

@OP

> If you are indeed real, turn my bottle of water into the finest wine that has ever roamed the Heavens and Earth. Thanks.

Why do you want me to do that?

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 9 years ago, 2 minutes later, 46 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #778,516

@778,503 (D)
That won't work, as I'm not an alcoholic.
@previous (Jesus)
Umm... to prove your existence. Also, I've never had enough money to buy wine.

Jesus replied with this 9 years ago, 4 minutes later, 51 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #778,517

@previous (A)
> Umm... to prove your existence.

Is the fact that you made a thread to me, and are now directly engaging with me, proof enough of my existence?

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 9 years ago, 7 minutes later, 59 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #778,518

@previous (Jesus)

> > Umm... to prove your existence.
>
> Is the fact that you made a thread to me, and are now directly engaging with me, proof enough of my existence?

Yeah, I guess but I just want the wine.

Anonymous D replied with this 9 years ago, 32 seconds later, 59 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #778,519

@778,517 (Jesus)
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

Only takes one nail to hang the picture.

Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #778,520

Jesus walks into a hotel, throws three nails down on the reception desk and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"

Jesus replied with this 9 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #778,521

@778,518 (A)

> > > Umm... to prove your existence.
> >
> > Is the fact that you made a thread to me, and are now directly engaging with me, proof enough of my existence?
>
> Yeah, I guess but I just want the wine.

For what did you need me for that?

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 9 years ago, 29 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #778,528

@previous (Jesus)

> > > > Umm... to prove your existence.
> > >
> > > Is the fact that you made a thread to me, and are now directly engaging with me, proof enough of my existence?
> >
> > Yeah, I guess but I just want the wine.
>
> For what did you need me for that?

Well, you are the only power. Capable of all things. You're capable of curing cancer, even though you apparently don't like curing it. I was just hoping you'd at least make my Easter Sunday grate with a bottle of wine.

(Edited 46 seconds later.)

Jesus replied with this 9 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #778,530

@previous (A)

> > > > > Umm... to prove your existence.
> > > >
> > > > Is the fact that you made a thread to me, and are now directly engaging with me, proof enough of my existence?
> > >
> > > Yeah, I guess but I just want the wine.
> >
> > For what did you need me for that?
>
> Well, you are the only power. Capable of all things. You're capable of curing cancer, even though you apparently don't like curing it. I was just hoping you'd at least make my Easter Sunday grate with a bottle of wine.

Yes, but there are innumerable other ways to get wine. Why do you ask me for it? Relying on me is not an excuse for indolence.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 9 years ago, 28 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #778,533

@previous (Jesus)

> > > > > > Umm... to prove your existence.
> > > > >
> > > > > Is the fact that you made a thread to me, and are now directly engaging with me, proof enough of my existence?
> > > >
> > > > Yeah, I guess but I just want the wine.
> > >
> > > For what did you need me for that?
> >
> > Well, you are the only power. Capable of all things. You're capable of curing cancer, even though you apparently don't like curing it. I was just hoping you'd at least make my Easter Sunday grate with a bottle of wine.
>
> Yes, but there are innumerable other ways to get wine. Why do you ask me for it? Relying on me is not an excuse for indolence.

You're an asshole. Also, fuck Easter.

Killer Lettuce? !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 47 seconds later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #778,534

It's interesting as fuck to ruminate upon who Jesus truly was.

Anonymous E replied with this 9 years ago, 25 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #778,539

@778,533 (A)

> > > > > > > Umm... to prove your existence.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Is the fact that you made a thread to me, and are now directly engaging with me, proof enough of my existence?
> > > > >
> > > > > Yeah, I guess but I just want the wine.
> > > >
> > > > For what did you need me for that?
> > >
> > > Well, you are the only power. Capable of all things. You're capable of curing cancer, even though you apparently don't like curing it. I was just hoping you'd at least make my Easter Sunday grate with a bottle of wine.
> >
> > Yes, but there are innumerable other ways to get wine. Why do you ask me for it? Relying on me is not an excuse for indolence.
>
> You're an asshole. Also, fuck Easter.

You sound upset

(Edited 12 seconds later.)

Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #778,540

@778,533 (A)

> > > > > > > Umm... to prove your existence.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Is the fact that you made a thread to me, and are now directly engaging with me, proof enough of my existence?
> > > > >
> > > > > Yeah, I guess but I just want the wine.
> > > >
> > > > For what did you need me for that?
> > >
> > > Well, you are the only power. Capable of all things. You're capable of curing cancer, even though you apparently don't like curing it. I was just hoping you'd at least make my Easter Sunday grate with a bottle of wine.
> >
> > Yes, but there are innumerable other ways to get wine. Why do you ask me for it? Relying on me is not an excuse for indolence.
>
> You're an asshole. Also, fuck Easter.

But lo, is it not written in Revelation 3:19:

I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn from your indifference.


Happy those who take his counsel, for all others must perish in their sins. Christ lets them know where they might have true riches, and how they might have them. Some things must be parted with, but nothing valuable; and it is only to make room for receiving true riches. Part with sin and self-confidence, that you may be filled with his hidden treasure.

A retard replied with this 9 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #778,541

@778,534 (Killer Lettuce? !!iNo3FkiZx)

> It's interesting as fuck to ruminate upon how long a day truly is

きゃさりん? !TGirlYJKXM joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 9 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #778,547

こんいちわしんたくす

Anonymous G replied with this 9 years ago, 6 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #778,549

@previous (きゃさりん? !TGirlYJKXM)
You must go to Japan instead of merely google translating it

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 9 years ago, 58 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #778,561

@778,539 (E)

> > > > > > > > Umm... to prove your existence.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Is the fact that you made a thread to me, and are now directly engaging with me, proof enough of my existence?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Yeah, I guess but I just want the wine.
> > > > >
> > > > > For what did you need me for that?
> > > >
> > > > Well, you are the only power. Capable of all things. You're capable of curing cancer, even though you apparently don't like curing it. I was just hoping you'd at least make my Easter Sunday grate with a bottle of wine.
> > >
> > > Yes, but there are innumerable other ways to get wine. Why do you ask me for it? Relying on me is not an excuse for indolence.
> >
> > You're an asshole. Also, fuck Easter.
>
> You sound upset

I am upset. You can't even give me lousy bottle of wine, yet you claim you died for my sins. Jesus Christ, asshole.

きゃさりん? !TGirlYJKXM replied with this 9 years ago, 50 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #778,565

@778,549 (G)
I am using Google IME not Google Translate. And people don't usually go to countries just to learn the language, do they?

Anonymous D replied with this 9 years ago, 1 hour later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #778,571

@previous (きゃさりん? !TGirlYJKXM)
> And people don't usually go to countries just to learn the language, do they?
One I know studied 7 languages and then moved to a country where all of the languages studied were useless.

Jesus replied with this 9 years ago, 40 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #778,572

@778,561 (A)

> > > > > > > > > Umm... to prove your existence.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Is the fact that you made a thread to me, and are now directly engaging with me, proof enough of my existence?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Yeah, I guess but I just want the wine.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > For what did you need me for that?
> > > > >
> > > > > Well, you are the only power. Capable of all things. You're capable of curing cancer, even though you apparently don't like curing it. I was just hoping you'd at least make my Easter Sunday grate with a bottle of wine.
> > > >
> > > > Yes, but there are innumerable other ways to get wine. Why do you ask me for it? Relying on me is not an excuse for indolence.
> > >
> > > You're an asshole. Also, fuck Easter.
> >
> > You sound upset
>
> I am upset. You can't even give me lousy bottle of wine, yet you claim you died for my sins.

Where did I claim this?

Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 9 years ago, 4 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #778,576

Jesus can you turn water into 1889 Chateau Petrus?

Jesus replied with this 9 years ago, 7 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #778,578

@previous (J)
Yes
:

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