Topic: A serious conundrum.
Anonymous A started this discussion 15 years ago #6,015
Lets say I have an axe. A good, solid axe. The kind that you could use, in a pinch, to take a mans head off with.
And let say that that very situation comes up and for some very solid reasons you behead a man. On the follow-through, though, the handle of the axe snaps in half in a spray of splinters. So the next day you take it to the axe store down the block and get a new handle, fabricating a story for the guy behind the counter and explaining away the reddish dark stains as barbeque sauce.
Next spring, though, while you are cleaning your garage, you find a creature that looks like a cross-bred badger and anaconda. A badgerconda. And so you grab your trusty axe and chop off one of the beast's many heads, but in the process the blade of the axe strikes the concrete floor and shatters. This means another trip to McMillan & Son's AxeMart.
As soon as you get home with your newly-headed axe, though, you meet the reanimated body of the guy you beheaded last year. He's got his head sowed back on, and is wearing that unique expression of "you're the man who killed me last Spring" resentment that one so rarely encounters in everyday life.
You brandish your axe. He takes a long look at the weapon with his squishy, rotting eyes and in a gargly voice he screams, "that's the same axe that slayed me!"
...Is he right?
And let say that that very situation comes up and for some very solid reasons you behead a man. On the follow-through, though, the handle of the axe snaps in half in a spray of splinters. So the next day you take it to the axe store down the block and get a new handle, fabricating a story for the guy behind the counter and explaining away the reddish dark stains as barbeque sauce.
Next spring, though, while you are cleaning your garage, you find a creature that looks like a cross-bred badger and anaconda. A badgerconda. And so you grab your trusty axe and chop off one of the beast's many heads, but in the process the blade of the axe strikes the concrete floor and shatters. This means another trip to McMillan & Son's AxeMart.
As soon as you get home with your newly-headed axe, though, you meet the reanimated body of the guy you beheaded last year. He's got his head sowed back on, and is wearing that unique expression of "you're the man who killed me last Spring" resentment that one so rarely encounters in everyday life.
You brandish your axe. He takes a long look at the weapon with his squishy, rotting eyes and in a gargly voice he screams, "that's the same axe that slayed me!"
...Is he right?
Flapjack !!vHCjY3yik joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 hour later[^] [v] #104,594
Oh yeah ok
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #104,596
No he is not.
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 6 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #104,597
Nope, he's wrong!
Lawrence !9p5vCatBBQ joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #104,599
Marry me right now OP.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 15 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #104,615
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 second later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #104,616
@OP
You should probably explain that, while it may bear some resemblance to the axe he was killed with, it is, in fact, an entirely different set of parts that make up this new axe you are now wielding. If necessary, sit the man down, show him your receipts from McMillan & Son's AxeMart, and explain to him, in a calming voice, that he has never been slayed with the particular collection of pieces that now make up your new axe. Once this begins to sink in for him, you should probably explain that you had very solid reasons for taking his head off the first time, and you should make it clear that you don't much appreciate him coming back from the dead and undoing all your hard work.
With the situation now having been clearly laid out, you should remind him that no one likes leaving a job unfinished. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you need to behead him a second time. If you can convince him to be a good sport about the whole thing, he might even offer to reimburse you for the axe handle you broke the first time around.
You should probably explain that, while it may bear some resemblance to the axe he was killed with, it is, in fact, an entirely different set of parts that make up this new axe you are now wielding. If necessary, sit the man down, show him your receipts from McMillan & Son's AxeMart, and explain to him, in a calming voice, that he has never been slayed with the particular collection of pieces that now make up your new axe. Once this begins to sink in for him, you should probably explain that you had very solid reasons for taking his head off the first time, and you should make it clear that you don't much appreciate him coming back from the dead and undoing all your hard work.
With the situation now having been clearly laid out, you should remind him that no one likes leaving a job unfinished. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you need to behead him a second time. If you can convince him to be a good sport about the whole thing, he might even offer to reimburse you for the axe handle you broke the first time around.
Lawrence !9p5vCatBBQ replied with this 15 years ago, 9 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #104,640
@104,615 (A)
I just realized what you posted was in no way shape or form original content. I feel so let down right now.
I just realized what you posted was in no way shape or form original content. I feel so let down right now.
The Owl !KThEOwLwbU (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 54 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #104,642
Triptych !!DP4/G/5A6 joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #104,652
The Owl !KThEOwLwbU (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #104,669
Lawrence !9p5vCatBBQ replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #104,674
@104,642 (The Owl !KThEOwLwbU)
No worries, carry on.
You've only just singlehandedly crushed all of my hopes and dreams.
No worries, carry on.
You've only just singlehandedly crushed all of my hopes and dreams.
Triptych !!DP4/G/5A6 replied with this 15 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #104,678
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 41 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #104,752
@previous (Triptych !!DP4/G/5A6)
Lol what does that even mean
@104,674 (Lawrence !9p5vCatBBQ)
It's what I do best.
Lol what does that even mean
@104,674 (Lawrence !9p5vCatBBQ)
It's what I do best.