Minichan

what happened?

can your shaman powers help you?

You cheated on a lover, didn't you? Tell Papa Legba all about it, my son. It will be alright.

We are all terrible. It's called protestantism

@previous (assORted !jJEom8Ii3E)

The fact that other people are guilty of heinous acts doesn't excuse your "accidental" stalking of small children.

@previous (The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY)

The fact that you want to be dr.phil doesn't make it so

@757,177 (brie !kGoudaMCFA)
no. they can't. the spirits have abandoned me for being an insult to living humans.

@757,178 (The Witch Doctor !6W1Zpe4MCM)
an old friend called last weekend and was coming though dallas and wanted to get together for coffee. then, coffee turned into "a couple of days on your couch." turns out he's been having... problems it turns out. like, mostly drug and jail problems... and maybe mental health. idk. a few years ago he was in a car wreck and got a head injury and it hurt him pretty bad. then drug abuse on top of that. he's been struggling, apparently, and just needed some help.

he was one of my best friends in college and years after. he was a brilliant mathematician, got his degree, and worked for a really big name engineering company. owned a house, real nice car, lovely girl friend.

when he showed up, he had on a filthy t shirt and had been hitch hiking. looked like a hobo with the hair... i let him get cleaned up, do laundry, eat and just relax for a couple of days while he was "making plans" to end up back him in Austin.

things have been find, just mildy irritating like any house guest, and he's a bit erratic with his behavior because of his issues. but, we played a lot of Magic and just chilled out and got caught up with each other.

long story short i come home for lunch today and find out he's been hurting my animals. my cat was limping around and acting really skittish, and i thought she'd got hurt jumping from the counter. but then later when i got home i found drops of blood on the bathroom counter near her water bowl. i started looking for her, and couldn't find her. she was just gone.

so i asked my friend what happened, and he played dumb. then later admitted he had "thrown a coat hanger at her" and she ran. so i kicked him out. told him he couldn't stay here anymore and needed to find somewhere else to go. made him pack up at 6:30 and walk out the door. spent the next hour trying to find my cat outside. when i went back inside, i looked all over the place and finally she popped her head out from where she was hiding. still don't know where she was... i thought he kicked her outside to run off or something.

so i kicked him out because i think he's been hurting my cat and thought he'd let her outside. he has no car, no where to go, and i guess no kind of plans... and i kicked him out. and my cat is actually still here. my friend WAS right, she was just hiding, but i kicked his ass out in the cold at night in a town where he was no where to go.

but. my cat does have what appears to be a busted pip and a nasty limp. like she was kicked... i can't actually let him back in my house, but i am a terrible terrible fucking asshole for kicking him out the way i did. i feel fucking terrible. i really do.

i called a mutual friend, someone he's known for 25 years, and his friend wasn't terribly surprised, just sounded disappointed in him and tried to ask a lot of questions about his behavior. just "trying to understand." so he's obviously got problems, like, way bigger problems than I'M capable of dealing with. but fuck i fucked up.

and evidently the whole reason he's traveling is because he's likely about to go back to jail - he just recently beat up his dad with a camera tripod. thinks he was literally hiding out in dallas with me to try and avoid jail in oklahoma... so maybe i was actually harboring a wanted person and let them into my home where he then hurt one of my beloved pets.

quite the fuck up. and i'm still like emotionally fucked because i love my friend and just want him to be okay. but i can't let my animals get hurt...

fuck. i'm just fucking stupid

@757,184 (assORted !jJEom8Ii3E)

Nice madpost.

> and find out he's been hurting my animals

All my sympathy for him just died.

@757,185 (squeegee the shaman)

How did you kick him out?

@previous (assORted !jJEom8Ii3E)
i told him he couldn't stay here anymore and needed to find somewhere else to go. he said "okay" and i left to go look for the cat. when i got back he was walking out the door with his backpack and i let him go. i told him i was sorry, and that i loved him and i gave him a hug. it was extremely hard, but i can't let him stay here if it's going to hurt my animals. but i don't know what he did. i kicked him out because i thought he let her outside to run off because at lunch i noticed she was limping. but i was wrong, she was hiding inside. i found her 30 minutes later. well, she found me once it was quiet and she knew the house was empty i guess.

and i don't know what he did to her. he admitted to "throwing a coat hanger at her and she ran into the other room," so i have no idea if he directly hurt her or if she got hurt totally accidentally. but i mean fuck... he was throwing coat hangers at her? i can't let him stay here. supervised or not. my cat is traumatized.

he was only supposed to be here a few days, and today is the 4th. we were talking at lunch about me driving him out to either corsicanna or austin to go see family he can stay with on sunday. but he was also like saying, "well sunday won't be best cause such and so reason" and i was like, "well i can't on monday because i work, so sunday would be the only day i could drive you down," and he was like trying to say we'll "play it by ear." but i was pretty insistent that next week he can't keep staying here because my nephew will be on my couch while he's up here for some convention thing. and then i reminded him this was supposed to be a few days, and had no problem with a couple more, but that he needed to be working out his next move. right? idk. the other day he was talking about my pool and said that he'd love to go swimming when it's warm but that he'll probably be gone by june. probably. so... like i'm not a motel.

and with how stressed my pets are (he riles lonestar up, lonestar has been on "alert" for days and just eyeballs him all night) there's no way i could do another week, let alone any longer.

i think he got stressed out and frustrated and his behavior got erratic and he kicked the cat. that's what i think, i don't know. but i kicked him out mostly because of speculation and his admission that he was throwing things at my cat. but, my speculation was wrong about her whereabouts. i keep thinking maybe i'm wrong about everything, and that i kicked him out and let him leave - with no where to go on a cold night in a strange city - because i'm stressed out myself about having a surprise house guest who's stayed longer than expected...

so i'm probably a terrible fucking person every minute that goes by that i let him stay out in the cold and don't call him and offer to drive him to austin right now.

@757,185 (squeegee the shaman)
Nah, you did the right thing. His problems are not your problems. You let him into your home and he intentionally injured your furry roommate. He's lucky you didn't invite the cops over. Although I have no idea what the animal protection laws are like there, it still could've got him picked up, which might be the best thing for him tbh. Shit sucks, but you can't fix those issues, squeegee. You gave him a chance and shelter for a bit, I'm sure that's more than a lot of people would offer him right now.

That sucks man, don't let this one experience jade your reality

@757,196 (squeegee the shaman)

I can see why you are emotional about this. But I wouldn't say you kicked him out. You politely told him to leave, big difference.

The way things looked, you were right to ask him to leave. But now that you've found out your cat is semi okay, there is still the fact that he did hurt it. And lied about it. Not to mention he might be wanted by the law. So no you aren't terrible.

If you want to help him, I'd say you are playing a dangerous game, there might not be any place for you to give him a ride.

@757,196 (squeegee the shaman)
You gave more to him than most people would, you weren't cruel. He isn't going to be homeless because you kicked him out.

been on the phone with mutual old friends most of the night. buddy talked to him and found out he's got someone he can call and got cash at western union. i've been told i made the right call. still feel like fucking horse shit.

i am never. never. never. going to let anyone "come crash" on my couch ever. ever. again. not unless they are blood family. i should not have let this happen. i don't want to be jaded, but jesus fucking christ a couple of years can really fucking change people. if i had known he was, like, unstable and easy to agitate and prone to anxiety and panic attacks... i just feel like a fucking ass.

this is someone that 15 years ago i would have trusted watching my children. and tonight... i quite literally dug through the neighbors trash making sure i wasn't going to find a dead cat stuffed at the bottom of someone's bin. and i'm fucking disgusted with myself that i jumped that far with my speculation. i can justify it all i want by saying his behavior was erratic and his stories made me concerned, but he didn't drown my cat in the bathtub and throw her in a bin. i'm a judgemental slime bag.

Update: just got a text from a friend, he's being picked up right now by an extended family member of his. i feel marginally better knowing he's out of the cold and going to have a soft spot to sleep and a blanket. but i'm still fucking ashamed of myself.

:(

and i was looking forward to another night of magic too. i like went and bought him a couple of starter decks so we could battle them out and i then he could take them with him as a reminder of friendship and as a fun thing he could teach someone else. so like i walked in and gave him the gift and we were opening them up and talking about the planeswalkers and i started looking for my cat... 20 minutes later i told him to get out.

i feel so fucking bad. it's like i threw a gift at him and said now GTFO.

the only thing i can say is that at least he told me about throwing the hangers and i have some kind of explanation for how she got hurt. if he hadn't have told me that i'd be slitting my wrists right now for kicking him out into the elements because my cat was hiding...

but he's okay. my cat is okay. everything is okay. just hurts.

and he only took one deck. so he can't even play it. and he was loving it :(

and so now i've got this deck as a reminder of what a piece of shit i can be to friends in need :/

@previous (squeegee the shaman)

Do not feel bad it is alright

Sounds like he was trying to do a squidward anyway tbf

@757,185 (squeegee the shaman)
He hurt your cat. There is no doubt, given what you described. You did the right thing. In fact, you went out of your way to try to help the guy, and he abuse your trust and grace by hurting your cat! You did exactly the right thing.

Why don't you let your cat out of the house?

@previous (K)

You have to be careful in some places because of predators

He probably does but only if he can keep an eye on Lonestar

Also squeegee you obviously love your cat and it's so sweet, Lonestar is lucky to have an owner like you

And your friend sounds like he needs more help than you can give to be honest

He needs a family right now not a couch, you could see he has mental issues, that's not something you should or even could put up with, sounds like he was taking advantage of your kindness

And man if I let a friend stay on my couch and he made my dog bleed I would do more than ask him to leave

I would rip his eyes out

You don't fuck with mans animal bro

You feel bad because you are a nice guy and you showed trust in someone who frankly can't handle that ATM but please don't let that colour your perceptions permenantly

But don't be trusting that false friend again, save those decks for someone who deserves them because those people do exist

You're not stupid bro you're just nice and that's very rare in this shitty world

Don't let it die

Hope Lonestar feels better soon ??

@Squeegee

I wouldn't feel like the friendship is lost, man. I've done some stupid shit to friends and had friends do some some pretty shitty things to me while going through rough patches in our lives. Hopefully he straightens himself out eventually, and, if he has any conscience, he will probably feel like a dick for abusing your hospitality. With luck he will be able to understand where you were coming from and why you did what did. Hopefully you two can try to patch things up when he is stable and back in his right mind.

I hope your cat is OK.

@757,247 (squeegee the shaman)
Dude this sucks and he was your friend of course but he was hurting your pets and that's just not okay. Maybe he was in a bad place and had his reasons but that still doesn't excuse that he hurt your pets and you did the right thing kicking him out. Maybe he'll manage to get his shit together and you two can be buds still, but shit dude. Hurting animals is just not okay :(

I don't understand how you think you did anything wrong... your guilt is totally misplaced. You showed a lot of kindness to a friend but you rightly drew the line when you found out he was hurting your pets. Whether he let the cat outside or not doesn't really matter, he WAS hurting them and needed to go.

(Edited 40 seconds later.)

@757,257 (J)

You're doing.

That retarded.

Thing again.

update: cat is fine. still limping a bit, but vet said no breaks or anything. kinda swollen foot. got some pain meds and was told to keep her routine normal. she's been purring on my lap.

@757,309 (The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY)

Sorry if I trigger

You

Bro

@757,317 (squeegee the shaman)

> update: cat is fine. still limping a bit, but vet said no breaks or anything. kinda swollen foot. got some pain meds and was told to keep her routine normal. she's been purring on my lap.

glad she's OK. I'm sure your friend will understand. what a Mess sorry

@757,305 (beckyderp !yDoooooooo)
i should have been a better friend. i should have reached out more through the years. after thinking about it i realized i haven't really known him for about 8 years. we used to get together at least every other weekend, and during warm weather months we golfed every sunday. after people moved and i broke up with the girl i was dating i kinda dropped off everything but the facebook radar. i wasn't going to austin anymore and people didn't live in dallas anymore and when my friend had his accident i didn't go see him. i just called. i'm a piece of shit person. i was busy with school and work at the time and everyone said he was okay... but fuck.

i should have been there for him and i would have known. i would have recognized that i wouldn't be equipped to handle him when he asked for a place to stay. i would have known that's what he was asking for too, not just a place to crash and a cup of coffee, but, like a place to live and someone to help. i at least would have known what to expect and could've done something to prevent anything bad from happening. if i'd known he had difficulty managing day to day stuff i would have taken my cat to my moms where i know she won't get out. i could not stop him from just leaving the door wide open. he just forgot. he kept asking if we could open it to let a breeze in and i kept reminding him of the cat. the first coupe of times i didn't think about it, but after 3 or 4 and 5 times i started wondering what the fuck was wrong with him. i should've known.

my friend at one point was talking about his mom giving him a book about dysexecutive syndrome (as near as i could figure, he called it a book about executive dysfunction syndrome) but said that he didn't have brain damage from the 4 wheeler wreck. i can only fathom that his mom gave him a book about this because he may have been diagnosed with it by his doctors. my friend didn't seem to think he had any problem, but after reading about it and thinking about his behavior some of it fits. especially the part about it often being a result of head injury which is what happened with the 4 wheeler wreck.

but, our mutual pal thinks it's from drug use, and that he's an addict now. i don't argue he's not, it's what landed him in jail. but i can't help but think that the two aren't related. his impulse control was all over the place. i think brain injury better explains his behavior, including the drug use, better than just being an addict. i spent a lot of time at narcotics anonymous back in the day and i know the difference between addiction and crazy person.

so i should have known. a better person that me would have known. my friends, who are better people than me, they knew. our mutual pal pointedly told me he offered to drive up from austin to pick him up and take him somewhere, but confided that there's no way it would be his house, he has two young children and a wife at home.

i feel guilty because i am guilty. i've suspected that i'm not a good person and kind of a piece of shit and i've mostly come to terms with the fact that i'm an asshole and i guess it's surprising to see in action because i guess i've gotten used to being a low grade asshole most of the time. it just takes so much effort to do the kinds of things that i know good people do. that's what makes them good, they just harden up to it and do the good thing. the thing that lets other people know they care. i either don't care and don't try, or try to care and fail at doing. but deep down i think i don't even want to care. it's just me trying. and sometimes i feel like i could easily just stop that, like guilt over not trying is the only think keeping me trying, not the actual caring. if it's not empathy that makes me act, but a sense of guilt over how it'll make me appear isn't that the definition of a terrible person?

it doesn't matter that my cat is hurt today. i can't fucking hardly blame the brain damaged guy for acting bizarrely. but i did. and as a result i turned him out into the night to fend for himself. and i don't know if what i feel is regret over the whole thing or if i'm just upset over how it looks for me. i feel like i hurt my friend purposely for something he may have had little control over. i should have been way more understanding and taken appropriate measures to make sure there wasn't going to be a problem. but, fuck that noise.

my oldest brother is fond of saying, "i don't need this in my life" before dismissing, rejecting or ignoring whoever happens to be causing stress or problems in his life. i think i may be a lot more like that piece of shit than i ever thought.

(Edited 2 minutes later.)