Topic: Is masturbation a sport?
Anonymous A started this discussion 10 years ago #56,398
Voice your opinions now!
| Poll option | Votes | Percentage | Graph |
|---|---|---|---|
| Yes. | 1 | 25% | |
| No. | 2 | 50% | |
| Sprite. | 1 | 25% | |
| Boners. | - | 0% |
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 10 years ago, 2 minutes later[^] [v] #727,471
Instinctively know that People Are More Important Than Things(Edited 2 minutes later.)
Anonymous B double-posted this 10 years ago, 5 minutes later, 7 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #727,473
try with that hand to jerk of your brother
Troops triple-posted this 10 years ago, 3 minutes later, 11 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #727,474
I can create ghosts with words
5 Finger Discount joined in and replied with this 10 years ago, 1 minute later, 12 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #727,475
Masturbation (sport)
An amateur masturbator
Masturbation is a competitive sport. It is necessary to distinguish amateur masturbation from professional masturbation. The former is the most famous and widely-practiced kind of sport on the planet; competitions in it are not contested. The latter is a complex sport which requires power, focus and self-control.
Male and female masturbation are treated as two separate disciplines, and each requires different skill sets to perfect it. Kevin Stagg is the current male world champion of masturbation and holds all-time world records in Speed Masturbation (2.5 seconds), Distance Masturbation (51ft 8in) and Weight Release (29.3 oz).
Male professional masturbation
Handjob machine
Due to issues of fairness, machines like this one are now outlawed in amateur competition.
Men compete in a wide variety of disciplines:
Speed Masturbation (a.k.a. Fast Release)
Distance Masturbation
Weight-Release
Shooting (various disciplines)
Triathlon
On the field of participation, women, or images of them, are strictly forbidden. In recent years, international masturbation has seen a rise in the number of homosexual competitors, who gain a large advantage merely by the presence of the other competitors. The Fall 2011 meeting of the International Masturbation Committee (also known as the Circle Jerk) voted to ban gays from competition, but the result was overturned as the gays played their usual "discrimination" card. Debates continue to this day and there seems to be no solution, so the gays run rampant as usual.
The 2016 Olympics will introduce masturbation as a "demonstration sport."
Contents
Male professional masturbation
Handjob machine
Due to issues of fairness, machines like this one are now outlawed in amateur competition.
Men compete in a wide variety of disciplines:
Speed Masturbation (a.k.a. Fast Release)
Distance Masturbation
Weight-Release
Shooting (various disciplines)
Triathlon
On the field of participation, women, or images of them, are strictly forbidden. In recent years, international masturbation has seen a rise in the number of homosexual competitors, who gain a large advantage merely by the presence of the other competitors. The Fall 2011 meeting of the International Masturbation Committee (also known as the Circle Jerk) voted to ban gays from competition, but the result was overturned as the gays played their usual "discrimination" card. Debates continue to this day and there seems to be no solution, so the gays run rampant as usual.
Female professional masturbation
The female masturbation competitions take the form of an artistic performance with a full musical orchestra, usually involving Spanish guitars, French horns and All-American dildos. There are many different variations, with competitions involving the fingers only, as well as various dildos and vibrators, matched based on their size.
A little known fact is that most female masturbation videos on sites like Pornhub are actually audition videos for each woman's respective national masturbation team. This is what most people use to tide them over between Masturbation Cups.
Solo Artistic Masturbation
Participants are given 15 minutes to masturbate by hands or dildo, depending on the specific discipline. Points are awarded for precision and beauty of moves, artistic merit, pubic hair decoration, and quality of orgasms, with squirting considered an easy way to get high points. Faking an orgasm results in an instant disqualification, but that doesn't stop people trying. [2]
Team Artistic Masturbation
See above, but this time it is performed by eight sportswomen. Extra points are awarded for synchronicity of moves, in particular orgasms. One of the best-remembered Masturbation Cup performances occurred in 1999, where the German team, led by Anna Shlick performed a perfect routine with a spectacular anal fisting finale. Nowadays Shlick performs analysis of masturbation performances on German television.
An amateur masturbator
Masturbation is a competitive sport. It is necessary to distinguish amateur masturbation from professional masturbation. The former is the most famous and widely-practiced kind of sport on the planet; competitions in it are not contested. The latter is a complex sport which requires power, focus and self-control.
Male and female masturbation are treated as two separate disciplines, and each requires different skill sets to perfect it. Kevin Stagg is the current male world champion of masturbation and holds all-time world records in Speed Masturbation (2.5 seconds), Distance Masturbation (51ft 8in) and Weight Release (29.3 oz).
Male professional masturbation
Handjob machine
Due to issues of fairness, machines like this one are now outlawed in amateur competition.
Men compete in a wide variety of disciplines:
Speed Masturbation (a.k.a. Fast Release)
Distance Masturbation
Weight-Release
Shooting (various disciplines)
Triathlon
On the field of participation, women, or images of them, are strictly forbidden. In recent years, international masturbation has seen a rise in the number of homosexual competitors, who gain a large advantage merely by the presence of the other competitors. The Fall 2011 meeting of the International Masturbation Committee (also known as the Circle Jerk) voted to ban gays from competition, but the result was overturned as the gays played their usual "discrimination" card. Debates continue to this day and there seems to be no solution, so the gays run rampant as usual.
The 2016 Olympics will introduce masturbation as a "demonstration sport."
Contents
Male professional masturbation
Handjob machine
Due to issues of fairness, machines like this one are now outlawed in amateur competition.
Men compete in a wide variety of disciplines:
Speed Masturbation (a.k.a. Fast Release)
Distance Masturbation
Weight-Release
Shooting (various disciplines)
Triathlon
On the field of participation, women, or images of them, are strictly forbidden. In recent years, international masturbation has seen a rise in the number of homosexual competitors, who gain a large advantage merely by the presence of the other competitors. The Fall 2011 meeting of the International Masturbation Committee (also known as the Circle Jerk) voted to ban gays from competition, but the result was overturned as the gays played their usual "discrimination" card. Debates continue to this day and there seems to be no solution, so the gays run rampant as usual.
Female professional masturbation
The female masturbation competitions take the form of an artistic performance with a full musical orchestra, usually involving Spanish guitars, French horns and All-American dildos. There are many different variations, with competitions involving the fingers only, as well as various dildos and vibrators, matched based on their size.
A little known fact is that most female masturbation videos on sites like Pornhub are actually audition videos for each woman's respective national masturbation team. This is what most people use to tide them over between Masturbation Cups.
Solo Artistic Masturbation
Participants are given 15 minutes to masturbate by hands or dildo, depending on the specific discipline. Points are awarded for precision and beauty of moves, artistic merit, pubic hair decoration, and quality of orgasms, with squirting considered an easy way to get high points. Faking an orgasm results in an instant disqualification, but that doesn't stop people trying. [2]
Team Artistic Masturbation
See above, but this time it is performed by eight sportswomen. Extra points are awarded for synchronicity of moves, in particular orgasms. One of the best-remembered Masturbation Cup performances occurred in 1999, where the German team, led by Anna Shlick performed a perfect routine with a spectacular anal fisting finale. Nowadays Shlick performs analysis of masturbation performances on German television.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Troops replied with this 10 years ago, 15 minutes later, 27 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #727,476
tell how much are you actually addicted to porn
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 10 years ago, 7 minutes later, 35 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #727,479
Troops replied with this 10 years ago, 12 minutes later, 48 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #727,482
after sex picture detected
Troops double-posted this 10 years ago, 4 minutes later, 52 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #727,483
whats those cocain lines below her nose
Anonymous D replied with this 10 years ago, 6 minutes later, 59 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #727,485
@previous (Troops)
Virgin detected.
That is a thin smear of sperm. Analysis shows the sperm donor needs more pineapple in his diet and less garlic.
Virgin detected.
That is a thin smear of sperm. Analysis shows the sperm donor needs more pineapple in his diet and less garlic.
Troops replied with this 10 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #727,487
holding hands position and blush ! seen !
Troops double-posted this 10 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #727,488
sex for a virgin is just like making a contract , signed in blood
Troops triple-posted this 10 years ago, 51 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #727,489
many $$$$$ for man's in the contract .. plz list
Troops quadruple-posted this 10 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #727,490
contract with elder women, no can do, no sex allowed