Minichan

I was over my moodiness and was happy and my wife even was a bit concerned as I seemed a bit too jocular and merry. It was not like me to be so ecstatic, she warned to not over expect. TIC, right? But why not be happy, right? Why not have hope!

Well, dear friends, when the day came it was not the Christmas dinner, but the Christmas lunch buffet we were to meet for. And that was the end of it all. Life went from Technicolor to b/w in an instant. Much of my bitterness these days can be traced back to this nightmare meal. That one day. The food we had was nothing that was on the dinner menu, which no doubt cost more than the all you can meal we got. And what morsels did we have for our Christmas meal at the 5 star buffet? How about BBQ on a stick. Spicy vegetables. Rice. Rice noodle soup. Yes, that is right, mi xian for Christmas. Salads of cucumbers and cherry tomatoes with no dressing. Spicy this. Spicy that. Oily this. Oily that.

And you know what made it all worse? I will tell you. All these damned foreigners there walking around going "oh look at this, look a that! Yummy yummy yummy! So much to choose from, right Bill?

Ah yea, lemme see, I can have this type of noodle soup or that type. I am overwhelmed. They are those happy type who, I feel were equally disappointed, but wanted to make lemonaide out of the lemons that were just thrown in their face. Not me my friends. When the one lady asked me if I was excited by the selection I told her "no, not really. I could get all this in the school cafeteria and it will taste better there and be warm (since they no have the concept at buffets in China of keeping the food warm, just throwing in a serving pan and watching it get hard and cold). This is a bait and switch, they said Christmas dinner with HAM and now I am eating BBQ on a stick. Ohhhhhhh, I can't get that out in the filthy back alley ways behind the school every single day of my life!!!!" She laughed and walked off but she doesn't like me that much anyway, maybe I am too cheery for her. What a scam!

But the school leaders who set the meal up were happy. "ummmmm.. spicy pork fat slices and oily spicy vegetables! Christmas dinner is so good! Ummm,,,is this what you eat for Christmas back in the USA "Ah yea, spicy chicken head is a staple on our table every holiday."

For someone that loves to make arguments about what makes food good and browbeat fellow users on GoK for their food sense, or the lack thereof, the reviews written in the *Indyfoodguide lacks the passion that I would expect from someone that explodes in utter disbelief at the mere mention of an affinity for western fast food. Being a polyglot and a Masters, I would almost expect better writing as well.

The reviews read as if someone just recently learned food critiquing on wikihow and is still struggling to apply all the elements in a food review, always seemingly leaving out quite a few details. The reviews are superficial and cursory, as if the entire process is like an annual dental checkup, going through all the motions without actually doing any work.

The typical review reads as follows:
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"Superb is the word that describes almost every aspect of 伊天园 (Yī Tiān Yuán), a Muslim restaurant. From the moment you approach the front door, you know that it will be a very special dining experience. The staff are all dressed impeccably, and perfectly professional and efficient. The food itself is extraordinarily delicious, especially the aged beef hanging just inside of the front door. Other dishes shine as well: try the cow stomach and the fried tofu. The menu is extensive, and anything you order is sure to be heavenly."
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While the reviewer might have the impression that the restaurant is "superb" and that it will be a "special dining experience", no details were provided within the review to bolster this impression.

Again, being "dressed impeccably, and perfectly professional and efficient" does not tell me what to expect from the wait staff. Being a Muslim restaurant, should I expect the wait staff to be dressed in ethnic attire or the standard garb that is considered "professional" by Chinese standards but yet falls short of Western standards. If being the latter, what makes it stand out that you made an effort to comment on their dress? An anecdote would be useful here.

"The food itself is extraordinarily delicious" -how so?;

"especially the aged beef hanging just inside of the front door" -what was the name of the dish you've tried and how was it prepared, for as it sits now, it's just a piece of raw meat hanging by the window;

"try the cow stomach and the fried tofu" -again, how should it be prepared and what's the name of the dish I should try?;

"The menu is extensive" -perhaps a range should be given to have a point of reference. BTW, no mention of the beverage menu which might have been helpful, ie, most Muslim (if not all) restaurant prohibit the drinking of alcohol as it is against their religion, does this particular restaurant permit and provide alcoholic drinks?;

"and anything you order is sure to be heavenly" -I have not found any description or indicator within the review that would lead me to make the same conclusion.

One final note, it would seem that there were many glaring omissions for a restaurant that is rated so high (9.8/10). The most obvious is that being a Muslim restaurant, pork is not on the menu. While it can be argued that that is common knowledge, it is part of the dining experience and bears mentioning to set the tone of the review. Defenders of the site might point to professional critiques as being similarly short, however, it overlooks the fact that professional critiques packs in a lot of detail and information despite their briefness, and second, due to space restraints, they are limited in their verbosity. Move over to their personal blog and you'll find a much more detailed review, often on the verge of a full-length article.

On balance, I give the website 1 out of 5 stars for a good effort and having the audacity to tackle such an endeavor. However, the lack of usefulness and meaningful content left me yearning for more, much like how one would feel 3 hours after a large bowl of mixian.

I checked out (Yī Tiān Yuán) the aged beef hanging just inside of the front door was covered with flies and other crawling insects. (Not included in the food review)

I am an American living in Asia for over 2 years and have been to china 5 times. And it is possible, no matter where you go, to get sick. Poorer countries in Asia (like Thailand or Philippines or Laos) it is well known not to drink the tap water. Even in China, drinking the tap water is asking for trouble
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You can get sick in China if your not used to the food. Although most of Chinese food is rice and seafood based, if your stomach is not used to the spices or lack of protein in most meals and more bacteria than your body is used to, you can be very ill.

When I ate in restaurants and even some sidewalk vendors in Shanghai, I got very sick. But, the pollution in Beijing can make people sick.

Maybe 35% of people in Beijiing seem to wear those cloth "masks" over their mouths, but I do not think they do much good. After all, what is in the air is going thru that fabric. LOL. If you travel to China I would worry about getting sick. Maybe bring some Pepto for a groggy stomach and purchase bottle water in China (which is readily available) One problem you will run into. Counterfeit bottles of water filled from the taps.

What's all this about China and rat meat?

Earlier this month, the Ministry of Public Security for the People's Republic of China announced a three-month crackdown on food safety violators, some of it involving rat, fox and, mink flesh being sold as lamb meat. They reportedly uncovered 383 cases of meat-related crime and made 904 arrests of people suspected of selling 20,000 tons of fake, diseased, or counterfeit meat.

Is this the first time food fraud has been committed on this scale?

Not only is it not the first time, it's not the first time this year. In mid-January, traces of horse DNA were discovered in the meat supply of Familjen Dafgard, a Swedish company that provides meat to the UK branches of Burger King, Nestlé, Tesco, IKEA, and Taco Bell, among others. It resulted in a massive recall (1,675 pounds of meatballs to IKEA alone) and a lot of bad press for all the companies involved.

But this won't affect me, right? This is just overseas. The U.S. is still horse and rat meat-free.

Mmmmmmaybe.

Oh Jesus Christ! Are you serious? I've been eating rats?