Topic: An acclaimed postmodern author and irony doer was teaching a class on Thomas Pynchon, known ironist.
hamfist !0Ynig1RSDc started this discussion 10 years ago#52,547
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Pynchon and accept that he was the most ironic being the world has ever known, even greater than John Barth!“
At this moment, a New Sincerity Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of emotional investment stood up.
"Hey pinhead, how do you legitimately rebel when rebellion is the cultural norm?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite postmodernly and smugly replied “By veiling yourself in a persona of ironic detachment, of course”
"Wrong. Irony is the song of the bird that has come to enjoy its own cage. Americans think of rebellion as being this sexy concept, when true rebellion in this age will be quiet and subtle. It will involve quiet time for thinking about and appreciating art that reminds us of what it's like to be human"
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Gravity's Rainbow. He stormed out of the room crying those ironist crocodile tears. The same tears ironists cry for the “mentally ill” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned joy from the deserving sincere. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Bret Easton Ellis, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than an ironic period piece author. He wished so much that he had an artistic medium to vent his feelings, but he himself had petitioned against them!
The students applauded and all renounced irony that day and accepted David Foster Wallace as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Daniel Johnston” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. This Is Water was read several times, and God himself showed up and replaced the Bible with Infinite Jest as His true word.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the irony plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.