Topic: Some questions about bottling farts
Anonymous A started this discussion 10 years ago #50,885
1. What kind of container is ideal for keeping farts in? I've been using Mason jars but I am afraid that I lose some of the fart with how long it takes to screw shut.
2. What is the optimal length of time to store a fart for best results? I've been doing a month or so but think additional time could help? Does it depend what kind of fart it is? What kind of food you've been eating?
3. How do I get bottled farts through airport security? I'm not trying to do anything crazy like international flights, just domestic.
2. What is the optimal length of time to store a fart for best results? I've been doing a month or so but think additional time could help? Does it depend what kind of fart it is? What kind of food you've been eating?
3. How do I get bottled farts through airport security? I'm not trying to do anything crazy like international flights, just domestic.
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 10 years ago, 2 minutes later[^] [v] #660,185
3. How do I get bottled farts through airport security? I'm not trying to do anything crazy like international flights, just domestic.
Should be easy. Just put the containers in your luggage and don't make any fuss about it. Practically speaking, you are bringing bottled farts with you every time you travel.
Should be easy. Just put the containers in your luggage and don't make any fuss about it. Practically speaking, you are bringing bottled farts with you every time you travel.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 10 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #660,186
@previous (B)
OK I guess I'm just wondering if they get suspicious and make me open them? I can deal with losing the occasional bottled fart but I wonder if it would be considered some kind of homeland security violation.
OK I guess I'm just wondering if they get suspicious and make me open them? I can deal with losing the occasional bottled fart but I wonder if it would be considered some kind of homeland security violation.
Anonymous B replied with this 10 years ago, 1 minute later, 4 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #660,187
@previous (A)
Just say you are transporting empty jars. If they open it, well.. They'll have to deal with an unbottled fart now.
Just say you are transporting empty jars. If they open it, well.. They'll have to deal with an unbottled fart now.
chili dog !!81dzJNNYL joined in and replied with this 10 years ago, 17 seconds later, 4 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #660,188
yes i too am highly concerned about this important issue
Big Daddy Derek !Uvm54ORbmo joined in and replied with this 10 years ago, 8 minutes later, 12 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #660,191
Falco Mobile !a7Q.SWNEJw joined in and replied with this 10 years ago, 5 minutes later, 18 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #660,193
Squirt gun
kook !!mCVqftDha joined in and replied with this 10 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #660,228
You should get one of those clear, flexible squeeze bottles made for one time use enemas. You could squeeze one, stick it in your anus, and then release as you point so that the fart gets sucked in.
RFiD !bLHEf8lvc6 joined in and replied with this 10 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #660,229
kook !!mCVqftDha replied with this 10 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #660,232
@previous (RFiD !bLHEf8lvc6)
That's the freshet method though. I bet that trying to frame multy farts in one jar makes them lose their potency.
That's the freshet method though. I bet that trying to frame multy farts in one jar makes them lose their potency.
RFiD !bLHEf8lvc6 replied with this 10 years ago, 33 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #660,236
@previous (kook !!mCVqftDha)
True, you have to compromise, in order to retain the stankiest farts possible.
True, you have to compromise, in order to retain the stankiest farts possible.
Lt. Judy Hopps joined in and replied with this 10 years ago, 10 hours later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #660,596
Why bottle farts when you could make fresh farts
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 10 years ago, 1 day later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #661,001
Lt. Judy Hopps replied with this 10 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #661,002
Big Daddy Derek !Uvm54ORbmo joined in and replied with this 10 years ago, 22 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #661,004
Fart into a whoopee cushion and slowly begin to inflate it with more over time. They have been designed with this purpose in mind, and the optimal amount of farts held has been carefully gauged by cushion size.
Age milage may vary depending upon how silent and deadly each fart is.
If airport security is an issue, perhaps substitute the whoopee cushion for one of those inflatable traveling neck cushions of comparable size.
Thanks.
Age milage may vary depending upon how silent and deadly each fart is.
If airport security is an issue, perhaps substitute the whoopee cushion for one of those inflatable traveling neck cushions of comparable size.
Thanks.