Green !BEERiVqJJw started this discussion 10 years ago#48,463
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house the twats were mouse. 'Hey sexy Falco, where is my shumalum?' winked Green. Falco gasped, 'Green I have a present for you cheeky bums'. Suddenly Hamfist jumped through the window, 'I am most ebic shitposter :D' he squealed. Falco calmly took a large rip from his bong and breathed the smoke into Hamfist's face. 'No u. I am a shitposting Dog lol'. Falco then ran outside and shat all over a lamp post. 'Shitpost!' he shouted. 'Uh oh!' Falco said worriedly, 'my shit has stuck my anus to the lamppost'...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) double-posted this 10 years ago, 8 minutes later[^][v]#632,915
Syntax was sitting in his armchair, obsessing over Matt. A kid knocked on his door, 'please sir, can you spare some turkey'. Syntax smirked, 'fuck thee thy or eye I am a ritch myser'. Syntax then put on a lobster suit and began to dance. He drank some brandy and read all about Qualcomm. Suddenly a ghost appeared. 'Who r thee thy or eye?' he asked. I am Iris, the ghost of Christmas past and I have come to tell you to change your ways!'...
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 10 years ago, 27 minutes later, 35 minutes after the original post[^][v]#632,916
The Night Before Festivus
Twas the night before Festivus and all through Queens,
Not a Costanza was yelling, not even Green...as strange as it seems.
The family was sleeping, just waiting for light.
Saving their strength for the upcoming fight.
At the crack of dawn on December twenty-three,
Frank put up the pole... instead of a tree.
Estelle prepared the meal that would start the rite
Green shat in a hat in preparation for a fight
Not a laugh or a smile was anywhere in sight.
George dreaded this hour that came every year,
The airing of grievances would soon be here.
Frank stood at the table and bellowed out loud,
"So who's got a complaint amongst this crowd?"
"You two are crazy and have wrecked my life!"
Cried George at his parents who mocked him for spite.
"A Lloyd Braun you'll never be " was Estelle's refrain,
"Why should I try,ma?... the guy's insane!"
"Enough with the grievances," Frank said with some glee,
"Now which one of you two is wrestling me?"
Green ran out of the house for fear of the fight
"So feats of strength you want? Let them begin here,
"It's your turn to fight him, mom... he beat me last year."
The battle was started, the screaming was lyrical,
The fact no one got hurt was shocking for all.
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 10 years ago, 1 week later, 1 week after the original post[^][v]#635,558
Green melted Falco's anus with kettle pasta and they went back inside. 'Here is your surprise Green' winked Falco as he unwrapped a man. 'Zayn!' squealed Green ecstatically. Zayn started singing and Falco was humping chairs. 'Let me give you a Christmas stocking' whispered Zayn. Green stuck his pens in Zayn's bum and pulled it out while hitting Zayn in the back of the head, causing him to have a rectal prolapse. Falco grinned...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) double-posted this 10 years ago, 6 days later, 1 week after the original post[^][v]#637,290
Bert was happily stumbling about the church and making his way to a bar. 'triptych...where are you?..' he shouted as he stumbled about. 'Your barred buddy!' said the bartender. Bert took a shot from his Listerine and Everclear bottle. 'show..me some....god damned respect..or i will leave...'. The bartender phoned the police. Suddenly a news story appeared on the TV, 'Donald Trump has banned Christmas due to it's pagan origins'. Bert began to throw bar stools and descended into tard rage. 'noooo..i will..fucking rape..you'...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) triple-posted this 10 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^][v]#637,292
Falco, Green and Zayn went to bed and got warmly snugly together. 'I can't wait to see what Santa gets me for Christmas' said Green cheerily. Our heroes went to sleep, feeling optimistic about the new day.
A rooster marked the new morning and Green and Falco rushed excitedly downstairs. Green and Falco looked in their stockings and were heartbroken. 'Where's my fucking bottle of Frosty Jack's' asked Green angrily as he slapped Falco across the face. Falco cried, 'Green don't hit me, I lub you'. Our heroes turned on the news. Suddenly, the anchorman had a breaking news story, 'we bring you this terrible news. Last night, whilst Santa was delivering presents over Syria, he was captured by ISIS'...