Topic: The Return Of The Minichanfic.
Green !BEERiVqJJw started this discussion 11 years ago #44,597
http://minichan.org/topic/41133#reply_588837
The previous part of the story. The Minichanfics will be continued in this thread until it gets too large again.
The previous part of the story. The Minichanfics will be continued in this thread until it gets too large again.
Lemon Drop !CITRUS3QCY joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 36 seconds later[^] [v] #588,838
Yay!
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 4 hours later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #588,907
How did you all feel about Part 1? It wasn't too triggering?
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 8 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #588,909
@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
No, no, it was great. And a bold exploration of contemporary internet culture.
No, no, it was great. And a bold exploration of contemporary internet culture.
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 31 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #588,912
The Owl !KThEOwLwbU joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 3 hours later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #588,962
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 5 hours later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #589,086
hater !JGlOo5d1iU joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 15 minutes later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #589,104
This must become an illustrated novel.
brie joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 5 hours later, 20 hours after the original post[^] [v] #589,186
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 3 hours later, 23 hours after the original post[^] [v] #589,242
Part 2: Delete Fucking Everything
Kimmo had ordered pizza and was waiting patiently. The doorbell rang and he went to get his pizza. He paid the delivery guy and went back to his computer. 'Ahem, a tip is customary' said the delivery guy, Kimmo scowled at him, 'here's a tip, it's your're not your' and then Kimmo slammed the door on him. Kimmo was watching the carnage in San Francisco. 'PSYCHOTIC FUCKTARDS!' he shouted. Kimmo oiled up his Kimmo-copter and came up with a plan, 'I must go back in time and stop the internet from existing!' laughed Kimmo maniacally...
Kimmo had ordered pizza and was waiting patiently. The doorbell rang and he went to get his pizza. He paid the delivery guy and went back to his computer. 'Ahem, a tip is customary' said the delivery guy, Kimmo scowled at him, 'here's a tip, it's your're not your' and then Kimmo slammed the door on him. Kimmo was watching the carnage in San Francisco. 'PSYCHOTIC FUCKTARDS!' he shouted. Kimmo oiled up his Kimmo-copter and came up with a plan, 'I must go back in time and stop the internet from existing!' laughed Kimmo maniacally...
hater !JGlOo5d1iU replied with this 11 years ago, 12 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #589,395
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 14 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #589,542
Falco looked in the mirror and straightened his tie. He had put on his tie for the funeral. His eyes started to water and he burst into tears. A hand reached out for him and patted him on the back, 'I miss Postmortem too' said Green, 'he was truly a golden god, not longed for this world. It's lucky that Syntax invented CPR, or I'd be dead too'. Green walked around the mansion, dubbed The Cider Chateau. His illegal cider racket was making millions. Suddenly, his phone rang and a voice spoke on the other end; 'I told you not to fuck me Greeny, I told you never to fuck me!'. Green threw down the phone in horror, 'it's Voca!' he shouted, 'Falco, get in the closet!'. Green looked at the CCTV as waves of hipsters entered the mansion. 'You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!' exclaimed Green as he shot his door down with his beerzooka. He shot frozen cans of beer at the hipsters, killing them. A platoon of SWAT trannies crashed in through the window, but Green blew them back. The hipsters were soon overwhelming Green, 'Falco, toss me the heavy artillery!' bellowed Green. Falco exited the closet with frozen 3 litre bottles of Frosty Jacks. Green loaded them into the beerzooka and rekt numerous hipsters, bit still they came. 'To the driveway!' commanded Falco. The duo reached the driveway, holding back the SJWs. Vocalon was piloting a chopper. Soon, the duo were surrounded. A rainbow coloured van drove up the driveway and the duo held hands as they embraced the doom. The doors at the back were kicked open revealing Ks holding a minigun. 'Taste the rainbow motherfuckers!' said Ks as he shredded down the SJW forces...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #589,573
Here's a scene from the actual movie.brie replied with this 11 years ago, 21 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #589,577
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 12 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #589,583
I am sick of you chrono-typical twats. I am travelling through time when I did drink my beer because it transport me to 2012 what was a good year and feel so good.
brie replied with this 11 years ago, 16 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #589,598
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 1 week later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #594,950
'Ks!' exclaimed Green, 'why are you in a rainbow coloured van?'. Ks winked, 'we just came from the gay pride parade. I was only there to support Fake anon though'. Fake anon cheekily slapped his bum, 'and I was only there because there was a MtG tournament'. Green and Falco jumped into the van and Fake anon commenced driving. 'We need to lose them lol' said Falco. Fake anon weaved through the streets taking evasive actions from the SJWs. Ks laid down suppressive fire and Green shot out the SJWs' tyres tires. The party lost them and proceeded to Postmortem's funeral...
Anonymous F replied with this 11 years ago, 41 minutes later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #594,971
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 35 minutes later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #594,986
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #595,010
@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
Damnit, you literally just stole the joke I was going to give your character in the next chapter. I think this means I have some good character development.
Damnit, you literally just stole the joke I was going to give your character in the next chapter. I think this means I have some good character development.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #595,012
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #595,031
@595,010 (A)
It's the one downside of your excellent writing ability. Sometimes you write people so well that they accidentally pre-empt what their fictional counterparts are supposed to say.
It's the one downside of your excellent writing ability. Sometimes you write people so well that they accidentally pre-empt what their fictional counterparts are supposed to say.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 15 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #595,292
The party arrived at the funeral and began crying. Mountainman was conducting the funeral service. Postmortem was embalmed with gold, for he was a golden god. 'I guess he really is post mortem now' said KL snidely. Ks burst into tears, 'his penis stiff!' he shouted. Falco and Green hugged in grief. Mountainman finished the service and the party went to bury the coffin. The party wept, when suddenly, a blimp appeared. 'Haha, I have you now!' jeered Vocalon. Ks clenched his fist, 'you disrespectful little shit. Let us bury Postmortem in peas!'. Vocalon wagged his thinger and Nexus and Jan began throwing dynamite at the party. 'By the power of Moses!' bellowed Fake anon as he raised his staff and summoned a swarm of locusts. 'Now's our chance to escape!' said KL. The party got into the van and Ks started driving off. 'Where too?' asked Ks. KL performed some calculations, 'there is an abandoned military base 0.7km from here in the inback (the Australian part of New Britain, KL did not say this stuff in the brackets)' said KL...
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 4 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #595,422
The party made it to the base and fended off the SJWs. The party picked up guns and ammunition on the floor and fell back into the building. Ks kept the juggalos at bay with a shotgun, but the hipsters and trannies were numerous. One of them shot Fake anon's foreskin. Vocalon raised his hand, 'ceases fire, minichan-san. Surrender desu!'. Ks stood firm and defiant, 'never!' he exclaimed. Green found a door and the party started to make it through the door, but Ks stood firm. 'Ks, wha-' stuttered Green. Ks turned to Green with a vengeful glint in his eye, 'run you fools' he said as he kicked the door shut and bolt-locked it. Green banged on the window as Ks pulled the pins out of his grenades. He lit a cigar and braced himself, 'I'm coming for you Johnny' he said as the grenades exploded, taking Vocalon and the SJWs with him...
(Edited 1 minute later.)
The Owl !KThEOwLwbU replied with this 11 years ago, 11 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #595,583
brie !uXWPG0MygI joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 1 day later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #595,939
Can OP top themselves once again?!
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 6 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #596,032
'No!' bellowed Green, 'Ks.!'. Fake anon grabbed Green's shoulder, 'we have to go, more SJWs will surely come'. The party exited the base, but were confronted with Nexus and Jan's airship. Jan called for reinforcements. Suddenly the party heard Didgeridoos. 'Oh no, Australians!' said Fake anon in a panicked tone...
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 4 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #596,041
The Australians started to close in on the party. 'I can't stand Australians' murmured Fake anon, 'neither can I' added Green, 'they live with the most dangerous animals in the world. If you go swimming a jellyfish will kill you, go out of the towns you'll get raped by a kangaroo or a dingo. Then when you get back to the hotel, a spider will kill you'. KL nodded, 'yes, and lets not mention their censorship laws. People say Britain's censorship is bad, but in Australia blood in games like GTA are censored and substances that are legal in the UK are Class A drugs in Australia'. Fake anon was anger, 'then you have Fosters, a shitty beer that even Australians don't like. They just export the piss everywhere'. Falco took a toke, 'we need to take that airship down'. Green cocked his beerzooka. 'KL, pass me a 3 litre bottle of cider and a packet of Mentos'...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 6 minutes later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #596,042
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 9 minutes later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #596,043
Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 18 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #596,327
I can't say I've read more than a few posts out of all these parts of this novel. Including both threads.
Anonymous K joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 23 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #596,816
@previous (J)
It turns out the NZ troll was actually just Bella trolling Green all along, and not t04str at all.
It turns out the NZ troll was actually just Bella trolling Green all along, and not t04str at all.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #596,822
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 5 minutes later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #596,823
Meanwhile, in Sweden...
Kimmo got in his Kimmocopter and made preparations to go to CERN. He needed to stop by and request the help of an old friend along the way. He entered Stockholm university and looked up Scatman. Scatman was overjoyed to see Kimmo. 'How is your psychological experiment going?' Kimmo asked. Scatman repositioned his glasses, 'very well. I think this 'Matt' is a very disturbed individual, however'. Kimmo hugged the Scatman and they both flew away in the Kimmocopter...
Kimmo got in his Kimmocopter and made preparations to go to CERN. He needed to stop by and request the help of an old friend along the way. He entered Stockholm university and looked up Scatman. Scatman was overjoyed to see Kimmo. 'How is your psychological experiment going?' Kimmo asked. Scatman repositioned his glasses, 'very well. I think this 'Matt' is a very disturbed individual, however'. Kimmo hugged the Scatman and they both flew away in the Kimmocopter...
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 11 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #596,824
Postmortem walked up the stairways to heaven. He reached the pearly gets, but St Peter shrug his head, 'no no, you cannot enter heaven yet. You still have unfinished business to take care of. I am going to send you back to earth in limbo. You cannot enter heaven until you have broken more hands and smoked all the cigarettes in the world. I am sending you back to earth as Ghostmortem'...
Anonymous A (OP) quadruple-posted this 11 years ago, 9 minutes later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #596,827
'No Green!' shouted KL with a tone of trepidation', there is only a 50% chance that you will succeed'. Green loaded his beerzooka, 'that is a risk I am willing to take. I can't imagine a life without Ks'. The party let out a tears. Green uncapped the bottle of cider and quickly put the packet of Mentos in and capped the bottle again. Green shook the Beerzooka and could feel the pressure building. He fired the cider missile just in time. His aim was true and the missile exploded into the blimp, killing Nexus and Jan and everyone else on board. The party cheered, but their celebrations were cut short. The Australians were closing in with their boomerangs. The Australians raised their arms and threw their boomerangs...
Anonymous A (OP) quintuple-posted this 11 years ago, 23 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #597,239
Suddenly, shouting echoed around the base, 'FALUN DAFA DINGO!' said a voice. Fake anon was excite, 'it's Matt and the Falun Gong!'. Matt threw hotdogs at the boomerangs, causing them to veer off and narrowly miss the party. The party took this as an opportunity to retaliate. The party shot the Australians, but the Australians stood firm. Suddenly a Ferrari drove off from the roof and a gentleman got out. 'Sup crackers?' said the gentleman as he pulled out his Mac 10s and started shooting down the Australians. 'Henn!' said Green with enthusiasm. Henn tipped his shades. The Australians were defeated, however, an echo came from the distance saying 'MURRAY IS MURRAY'...
The Owl !KThEOwLwbU replied with this 11 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #597,263
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 22 hours later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #597,950
The evil party flew to Switzerland. They landed at the CERN building and loaded their rifles. Kimmo sniped the guards and CERN went into lockdown. 'I'll deal viv zeese pople' said Scatman. Scatman took out his pocket watch and hypnotised the guard to give him his card. The evil party had full access to the Large Hadron Collider...
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #597,951
Mr Corbyn was sitting in his office, 'any news on the SJW forces?' he asked his secretary. His secretary shook her head, 'I'm afraid the SJW leader 'Vocalon' has dead'. Jeremy had a celebration, 'now it is my time to take control of the SJWs and this country. When I become leader, I will have a separate carriage on trains so that women and men are segregated, I will also get rid of all of our nuclear weapons, giving us no leverage in war and leaving our country defenseless. All I need to do is get rid of Dave'...
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 11 years ago, 12 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #597,960
'Omg' said Falco 'it's a koala lol :)D :0)'. An Australian shook his head, 'no, it is our king, the mighty dogbear Murray'. The party were in awe of his majesty. 'Everyone, lay down your weapons. These people are heroes. All who live by the boomerang die by the boomerang'. Green was inspired by Murray's wisdom and sheathed his Beerzooka. 'Why did you attack us?' asked Fake anon. Murray tutted, 'forgive our impudence. There has been talk circulating that all the British must die'. KL and Green gasped. 'Who would hate the British?' asked KL, 'we are one of the most respected and cultured races in the world. Everyone in the world acknowledges that Britain and our empire has been nothing but a virtuous force on the world'. Murray raised his didgeridoo, 'be that as it may, someone still wants you dead. The only thing I've heard is that they're Very naughty. They're not too fond of Americans either'. Fake anon was taken aback by this statement, 'and who would hate the Americans? We are a peaceful, modest people. We have a rich history spanning back almost 500 years'. Murray looked to the sky, 'soon, you must go to Canada'...
Anonymous L joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 23 hours later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #598,237
Why in the fuck has this not been deleted yet? Everytime I come here, this shit is stickied.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 31 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #598,238
Anonymous L replied with this 11 years ago, 7 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #598,239
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 17 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #598,240
Anonymous L replied with this 11 years ago, 13 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #598,241
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #598,242
@previous (L)
Come on, I thought you worked as a lighting guy. You're supposed to want to englighten people.
Come on, I thought you worked as a lighting guy. You're supposed to want to englighten people.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 2 days later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #599,069
'Please, rest here for the night' said Murray. The party laid down their burdens and told stories of olde. Matt began roasting hotdogs and everyone had a giggle. The party went to bed. Green was perturbed however, and awoke in the middle of the night. He took a wig and makeup out of his bag, 'no, my precious' he said. He shaved off his beard and stroked the wig. 'No, I don't need Bella!' he shouted. He opened the bin and was about to throw the wig and makeup away. 'No, I can't do it, maybe one day I'll be Bella again. Fuck, I am a fat ugly cunt!' shouted Green as he punched the mirror. 'I must go', Green fleeted away from the camp...
(Edited 34 seconds later.)
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 7 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #599,070
Falco awoke in the morning and had sad, 'Green is gone lol ;( :00' he cried. KL inspected the trail of broken glass, 'hmmm, looks like there was a twatting'. Suddenly, KL started ringing, 'KL, it's r04r. Kimmo has broken into CERN and is going to travel back in time to kill Al Gore before he can invent the internet. You all need to come to my lab so I can prepare you and KL you need to be upgraded'. KL ran to the group and told them of the situation. 'We need to defend the hood!' said Henn. 'But what about Green?' asked Fake anon. KL chinned, 'there is no time'. KL hit some buttons on his watch and summoned his jet. 'Everybody in' he said...
(Edited 51 seconds later.)
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 11 years ago, 9 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #599,071
Brie got ready to go to the pharmacy and buy some DXM. He was very thirsty though, and stopped by a Starbucks to get some coffee. The hipsters everywhere enraged him. He looked at the ironic statement in a hipster's shirt and his temper grew. He approached the hipster, 'hey budd-' however, his jaw dropped when he recognised the hipster as Green 'Green, what are you doing?'. Green looked dazed and confused, 'Bella, traffic cones'. Brie started cartwheeling around Starbucks. 'Oh you have hipsteritis, you need some cider'. Brie picked up Green, but suddenly a ghost car crashed into the cafe and a ghost came out. The ghost was naked and started breaking hipsters' hands. He then stole their cigarettes and began smoking. He noticed Green and Brie and smiled, 'I'm too sexy for the afterlife'...
Anonymous A (OP) quadruple-posted this 11 years ago, 1 day later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #599,601
I see myself as a Van Gogh type figure. He was an artist that went unrecognised in his time too. I hope that in a hundred years time, literary scholars will be studying the sheer fucking genius that are my fanfics. I hope they will build an entire religion based on the deep undertones.
Anonymous A (OP) quintuple-posted this 11 years ago, 29 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #599,604
The party done did flyed in KLs jet to r04r's lab where she upgraded KL. Kl learned morph ball, press down twice to morph into a ball. I'm drunk. 'Right after that, we must get to CERN and stop Kimmo' said KL. 'I want to shove MtG cards up my arse!' said Fake anon enthusiastically. 'Yo dawgs, we need to get organised and strapped up fo to beat Kimmo at CERN' said Henn,....
Anonymous A (OP) sextuple-posted this 11 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #599,607
Ghostmortem was flipping, 'no I cannot even use weapons, I can only use my hands to break hands and smoke cigarettes. Brie made it the pharmacy and drank 5 litres of DXM. 'Shit he' he said, 'we need to get to CERN'. Green was dismayed, 'fucking drerpniggrrs'. Brie did a little jig and slapped his bum. 'Green drink this cider and you'll be fine'. Ghostmortem humping a chair in excitement and came ectoplasm all over the table. 'We must get in my helicopter lol!' said Brie...
Anonymous M joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 2 days later, 4 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #600,154
I only come here to ctrl+f my name and see if I'm included yet.
Still no. ;-;
Still no. ;-;
Anonymous L replied with this 11 years ago, 12 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #600,323
Anonymous M replied with this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #600,338
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 8 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #600,341
@previous (M)
These days, I think you sometimes show up as a minor antagonist that the protagonists fight. There was also an earlier fanfic where you were the main antagonist, but "you" may have actually been a reptilian in that one, IIRC.
You also once briefly showed up alongside r04r flying through space to attack some enemies. Or something like that. The problem is that these fanfics are so excellent, my mind has trouble keeping track of them.
These days, I think you sometimes show up as a minor antagonist that the protagonists fight. There was also an earlier fanfic where you were the main antagonist, but "you" may have actually been a reptilian in that one, IIRC.
You also once briefly showed up alongside r04r flying through space to attack some enemies. Or something like that. The problem is that these fanfics are so excellent, my mind has trouble keeping track of them.
(Edited 25 seconds later.)
Anonymous M replied with this 11 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #600,345
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #600,356
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 23 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #600,364
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 11 years ago, 14 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #600,368
The party travelled to CERN in KLs jet. When they landed, scientists started firing at them. 'Oh no' said KL, 'Kimmo must have hypnotized them'. The party hid behind some rocks and Henn started unleashing the beast. 'Shit homies, imma outta bang booms' sighed Henn. Fake anon prayed to Moses, but Moses did not answer. Suddenly, a whirring sound was heard, and the scientists were shot with shot-glasses of gin. 'Get me in closer!' commanded a voice. Green leaned out of the helicopter and sniped the scientists. 'Fuck Green and his stupid fucking hat!' said Fake anon. The helicopter landed and the party rejoiced, reunited again. KL spotted Ghostmortem, 'and who is this golden god from beyond the grave?'. Ghostmortem winked and whirled his impressively long 10 inch ghost dong around. 'Onwards to CERN!' said Fake anon...
Anonymous A (OP) quadruple-posted this 11 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #600,370
The party did a run and made it to the Large Hadron Collider. Kimmo was already there. 'Kimmo stop!' shouted Fake anon. Kimmo smirked. 'No, once the LHC has reached full power, I shall go back in time and stop the internet from ever happening'. KL shook his head, 'we shall stop you?'. Kimmo chuckled nefariously, 'Scatman, deal vith zese pests'. Scatman's bowtie began spinning and the party were hypnotized, 'kill yourselves', said Scatman...
Anonymous A (OP) quintuple-posted this 11 years ago, 1 day later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #600,704
Minichanfic Sunday Extravaganza. Sundays will be update with many new chapters for your pleasings :)
Killer Lettuce?? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 39 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #600,729
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 18 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #601,110
Dave returned to his mansion in Cornwall, having defeated the oppressive American bastards and repealing the cider ban. Suddenly a SWAT team crashed in through the window. 'What's going on?' asked Dave dazed. A man in a white shirt with sleeves rolled up laughed, 'there's going to be some changes around here. I am going to lead New Britain. Dave gritted his teeth, 'Corbyn!'the said. 'You can't beat me. I am D to the shizzle C. Check put my karate policy'. Dave karate chopped Jerry in the throat. 'I'll let you have that' said Corbyn, 'I will not fight back because I am a pussyfist'. Dave threw his pasta at Corbyn, ' have some pesto, then I'll show you my tory manifesto'. Corbyn just smirked. 'As soon as I replace you, I will get rid of the monarchy and our nukes. We will be defenseless'. Dave collapsed at Corbyn's sheer stupidity...
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #601,124
KL grabbed the gun out of Henn's hand and smashed Fake anon's milkshake. Scatman was discombobulated, 'why aren't you affected by my hypnosis'. KL smiled, 'because I'm a hologram'. KL tried to use his psychology powers, but to no result. He contacted r04r and she uploaded an anime to him. 'The banned Porygon Pokemon episode' said KL enthusiastically. KL played the episode and the party had a seizure, breaking the hypnotise. 'Curses' said Scatman. It was too late though. The LHC had fully charged its power and created a time portal. Kimmo and Scatman entered the portal. 'Quick, the portal is closing!' said Fake anon. 'I am staying behind!' declared Brie. Brie handed Green his timewatch. 'You shall see me only once more before I die!' after that Brie teleported. The party were sad but adamant to stop Kimmo. They stepped into the portal and back in time...
End of Part 2......
End of Part 2......
Killer Lettuce?? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #601,126
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 19 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #601,348
Part 3: Changing History
'Where are we?' asked Fake anon. KL analysed data, 'it would appear we are in 1980s. Quickly, we need to stop Kimmo! a
We must get to Cornwall!'. The party invaded a Swiss military base and easily defeated them, and took command of one those two propeller helicopters. The party flew to Cornwall. 'I could use a pint!' winked Green as they landed. The party went into a pub and Green was excitement. 'I'll have a pint of Scrumpy!' said Green. The party all cheered and Murray started dancing. Suddenly a news flash came on the tv 'vice president Al Gore will be at in California tomorrow talking about global warming'. Falco gasped, 'that's where Kimoo will attack lol :00 baenis'. KL valiantly his, 'we will rest here tonight. Tomorrow it's personal'...
'Where are we?' asked Fake anon. KL analysed data, 'it would appear we are in 1980s. Quickly, we need to stop Kimmo! a
We must get to Cornwall!'. The party invaded a Swiss military base and easily defeated them, and took command of one those two propeller helicopters. The party flew to Cornwall. 'I could use a pint!' winked Green as they landed. The party went into a pub and Green was excitement. 'I'll have a pint of Scrumpy!' said Green. The party all cheered and Murray started dancing. Suddenly a news flash came on the tv 'vice president Al Gore will be at in California tomorrow talking about global warming'. Falco gasped, 'that's where Kimoo will attack lol :00 baenis'. KL valiantly his, 'we will rest here tonight. Tomorrow it's personal'...
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 33 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #601,353
The party all stayed at an inn overnight, but Matt, Green and Falco had other plans. They drove to England on Matt's electric scooter and entered a university. Team twat went into the nerds dorm and laughed at them playing their NESs. 'Excelsior. This is like, cutting edge technology' said the nerd leader. Falco and Green winked as they took out their New 3DS XLs and played Super Mario 3D Land on them. The nerds were awestruck. 'Salutations. Where did you get those?' said a nerd. Falco lit up a doob, 'my uncle works for Nintendo'. Green and Matt started to venture off. 'We challenge you to a drinking contest!' Matt shouted...
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #601,359
The thatcherites exited the dorm and began to drink Perry. Green took out his white cider and downed it. Suddenly, students with 80s fashion tried to out drink Matt and Green, but it was no use. Goths gave snide remarks but would not drink. Team twat was victorious and demanded the trophy. 'Wait' said the thatcherites, 'there is one person who may be able to out drink you. Our foreign exchange student; Matthew Rosteet Miller!'...
Anonymous A (OP) quadruple-posted this 11 years ago, 10 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #601,361
Green was trepidation, 'Matt, you can not challenge yourself to a drinking contest. You may change the course of history. Matt clenched his fist, 'I must. Nobody out drinks me, not even myself. I have decades of drinking experience'. Green pontificated for a bit, 'but he's got a healthier liver'. Falco started to cry, 'Green I am AIDS'. Green hugged Falco and caressed his ear. 'It's ok' he whispered tenderly. Past Matt entered the hall, 'did someone challenge me to a drinking contest? I'm sorry, but I can't. I have almost finished my PhD'. Present Matt made chicken noises. 'Ok' said Past Matt as he began to drink beer. Matt laughed heartily, 'beer is for pussies. Real men drink cheap wine they got from the wine mafia'. Matt threw the bottle to Matt. As soon as Matt's lips touched the bottle, he was in debt and his PhD was held back 20 years. 'You're all obsessed stalkers!' shouted Past Matt as he ran out of the university. Team twat cheered because they had won the contest. The students were not happy though and began to shoot at team twat...
Anonymous A (OP) quintuple-posted this 11 years ago, 1 day later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #601,902
'Quickly, we will escape on my scooter!' declared Matt. Team twat sped off, goths chasing them on their roller skates. The thatcherites called in chopper support. Green loaded his Beerzooka and fired. Eventually, Matt's reckless driving lost the 80s people. Green and Falco went up to their room. Falco unzipped his trousers and took out his 8 inch dong. 'Is there a fire?' winked Green, 'only in my heart' replied Falco. Falco's penis became like a rock and Green awaited his surprise. Suddenly, Ghostmortem came through the wall. 'Room for one more?' he asked, cheekily slapping his bum. Falco and Green looked at each other with glee, 'for you? Always!' said Green. Ghostmortem whirled his massive dong around like a helicopter then he stuck it in Falco's spleen and came ghost jizz in there. The threesome hugged happily. Next door, Fake anon and KL were having just as much fun...
Anonymous A (OP) sextuple-posted this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #601,939
KL was painting some Warhammer figures. 'Nerd!' shouted Fake anon as he shuffled his MtG deck. KL walked up to Fake anon and massaged his shoulders, 'we are finally alone' KL whimpered. Fake anon prepared himself, 'let me show you how Moses parted the sea' he said as he spread his butt cheeks. KL nibbled Fake anon's ear 'this is my swamp' he whispered tenderly in Fake anon's ear. 'This isn't gay because I'm a hologram' winked KL. KL showed Fake anon his penis. Fake anon's jaw dropped at KL's impressive girth. 'Programmed in for your pleasure' said KL with a cheeky grin. KL switched to soft-light mode. 'My body is ready' muttered Fake anon. KL initiated hard-light mode and Fake anon screamed in sheer bliss as he felt all of KL's girth tickling his rectum...
TRIGGER WARNING: The previous chapter contains an extremely gay sex scene.
TRIGGER WARNING: The previous chapter contains an extremely gay sex scene.
(Edited 34 seconds later.)
Anonymous A (OP) septuple-posted this 11 years ago, 2 days later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #602,491
The Minichanfic never ends. Upcoming Minichanfics:
The Quest for Smokes 2: Ks' Boogaloo.
V-day.
The Dildo of Truth.
Minichanfic Christmas Special.
The Quest for Smokes 2: Ks' Boogaloo.
V-day.
The Dildo of Truth.
Minichanfic Christmas Special.
Killer Lettuce?? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #602,492
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #602,494
The party awoke in the morning, refreshed and alert after their night of passion. Fake anon donned his cape and rounded up the party; 'it is time, fellow minions, we must go to San Francisco and save Al Gore. Maybe we can go to the gay pride parade of there is time'. The party rented a boat and set sail for California. They made it to the coast of Florida and stole a bus. 'I'll drive' said Henn, 'show them how we do it on the west coast'. The party found drugs in the bus and did the drugs, however, little did they know of the danger approaching them from behind...
Doctor Dick !DEePerQmUQ replied with this 11 years ago, 2 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #602,521
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 14 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #602,693
'You obsessed stalkers' shouted a young man on a motorbike. 'It's Matt Jr' gasped KL. Henn swerved the bus, evading the gunfire that Matt Jr laid down. 'Why am I stalking myself?' asked Matt. Matt went to the back of the bus and waved his fist at Matt, 'I am literally obsessed with me! Stop harassing myself!' Matt shouted. Henn eventually lost Matt Jr, and the party took turns driving the bus. Eventually, they made it to California. The party left the bus. 'Now onwards to the global warming seminar' said Green. The party started walking but suddenly a man in a helicopter with a megaphone, shouted at them 'not so fast!'...
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #602,696
'My name is Marsden Miller and you mess with my obese son, you mess with me'. The party became panicked as Marsden started firing at them. 'What do we do?' asked Fake anon frantically. Henn heart was enveloped in courage, 'we need to stop these west coast homies'. Matt started running in circles, 'no, if you kill Marsden, I will never be born'. KL put his hands in the air like he don't care, 'it's settled, we destroy the helicopter'. Suddenly, a handsome man started dancing towards the party, 'I have just finished my 10 mile run, perhaps I can be of some assistance?'...
(Edited 43 seconds later.)
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 11 years ago, 6 days later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #605,017
The party smiled 'pre-senile Syntax'. Syntax took out his brick phone and with the power of Qualcomm, used it to control satellites and send Marsden and Matt Jr awry. 'To the emporium!' commanded Fake anon. The party made it just in time to see Al Gore. Suddenly, an audience member pulled out a gun. 'Kimmo!' shouted Green. Syntax rushed into action and jumped in front of the bullet with his head. 'Are you ok, Syntax?' asked Green, tears forming. 'I'm ok-thee thy or eye RE RE: Ok' said Syntax. Suddenly, a news flash came on television, 'the Falkland, Islands have just been invaded'. Syntax stood up, 'eye must save it from opresive British bastards -->>zoOooomm'...
Anonymous A (OP) quadruple-posted this 11 years ago, 9 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #605,027
Kimmo was enraged, 'PSYCHOTIC FUCKTARDS! I ONLY HAD ONE BULLET!'. Kimmo went to the stage and started hitting a box. 'That's the internet!' shouted KL. Fake anon dashed to the stage and smitten Kimmo with his staff. The party followed suit, but Kimmo opened up another time portal and stealed away into it. 'If I can't destroy the internet, I will destroy your ancestors!' he said maniacally. 'Adam and Eve?' asked Fake anon. 'No' replied KL, 'he means the fish that one day transformed into frogs and then into monkeys'. The party paused and then laughed at how ridiculous the theory of evolution was. The party then stepped through the portal. 'Falco!' said Green as he desperately looked for his precious. He saw Falco lying unconscious on the floor. 'Not another marijuana overdose!' he sighed. Green picked up Falco and headed towards the portal, but it was too late. As he reached it it closed...
(Edited 39 seconds later.)
Malachite (OP) quintuple-posted this 11 years ago, 2 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #605,090
The party awoke to find themselves in Africa. 'Where are we?' asked Henn. 'This looks like somewhere I said I would go and live' replied Matt. Fake anon looked around frantically, 'where are Green and Falco?' he asked. KL shook his head, 'looks like they didn't make it through the portal in time. The party spotted Kimmo running towards some apes. 'Oh no, he is going to wipe out humanity!' said Ghostmortem...
Malachite (OP) sextuple-posted this 11 years ago, 53 seconds later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #605,091
Malachite (OP) septuple-posted this 11 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #605,092
Green and Falco awoke on the floor, their dreams shattered. Green gave Falco the marijuana overdose antidote; more weed. 'Green, where is everybody lol :P' asked Falco. Green hot the ground, 'the portal closed without us, we are stuck in this shitty time period'. Falco reigned victorious, 'wat do we do?' he inquired. Green suddenly had an idea, 'I know what we can do. We must get to Tesco!'...
Killer Lettuce?? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 47 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #605,127
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 7 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #605,239
The party rushed towards Kimmo as he pulled out a rocket launcher and aimed it at the apes, 'Kimmo, stop!' said Fake anon, 'if you wipe out the apes, you'll wipe out yourself and humanity'. Kimmo smirked, 'then another race will take over. Humanity is all full of psychotic fucktards and is a disease that must be cleansed'. Murray did his koala foo and knocked the rocket launcher out of Kimmo's hand. 'Curses, foiled again!' said Kimmo as he started to hop away. He then opened another time portal and leapt through, the party chased him and landed back in New Britain. 'We're back, and we stopped Kimmo!' said Fake anon enthusiastically. The party cheered, but the celebrations were cut short as a gang of hipsters and chavs approached them chanting, 'ALL HAIL KIMMO!'...
End of Part 3
End of Part 3
Malachite (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 1 day later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #606,050
Part 4: Your're Doomed
'What is going on?' quizzed Fake anon. KL did some calculations, 'oh no, we arrived back one year after Kimmo did. He did something to the internet in the 80s which made him get control of it when he came back. Kimmo controls the internet. Kimmo controls the world'. The party shat bricks as chavs and hipsters closed in around them. Suddenly, a man cloaked in black appeared. 'Is there a KL here?' he asked. KL nodded. 'This letter has been in my family's possession for over 30 years. I was told to find it and give it to you'. KL read the letter and his face lit up. 'Come on!' he said, riling the party up, 'we are going to Cornwall, we must get to Tesco!'...
'What is going on?' quizzed Fake anon. KL did some calculations, 'oh no, we arrived back one year after Kimmo did. He did something to the internet in the 80s which made him get control of it when he came back. Kimmo controls the internet. Kimmo controls the world'. The party shat bricks as chavs and hipsters closed in around them. Suddenly, a man cloaked in black appeared. 'Is there a KL here?' he asked. KL nodded. 'This letter has been in my family's possession for over 30 years. I was told to find it and give it to you'. KL read the letter and his face lit up. 'Come on!' he said, riling the party up, 'we are going to Cornwall, we must get to Tesco!'...
(Edited 20 seconds later.)
Killer Lettuce?? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #606,068
@previous (Malachite)
So did they just kind of walk away from the chavs and hipsters that were closing in around them?
So did they just kind of walk away from the chavs and hipsters that were closing in around them?
Malachite (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #606,104
@previous (Killer Lettuce?? !!iNo3FkiZx)
No, it was like the speaking in Oblivion, they just kind of froze while KL read the letter.
No, it was like the speaking in Oblivion, they just kind of froze while KL read the letter.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 51 seconds later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #606,105
Malachite (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 1 day later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #606,808
KL typed some buttons on his watch, summoning his jet. He used the jet's machine guns to rain bullets on the chavs and hipsters. The party set off with full speed to Cornwall. The jet landed and and the party rushed in. 'What is it?' asked Fake anon. 'Quickly!' commanded KL. KL ran to the frozen section. 'Non-alcoholic beer?' asked Matt. KL threw hit the non-alcoholic beer cans aside, exposing a frozen Green and Falco. 'Of course!' said Fake anon, 'they froze themselves in the one place no one would look, the non-alcoholic beer section!'. Suddenly, KL was perturbed, 'oh no, we have missiles closing in on us. We need to defrost them. Fast!'...
Malachite (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 15 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #607,110
Postmortem summoned his magical third arm and started chain-smoking Newports. Green and Falco defrosted faster. Green cheekily slapped his bum and Falco winked. 'You defrosted yourself so you wouldn't have to wait 30 years to see us?' inquired Killer Lettuce. Green nodded. 'Why didn't you just use the timewatch that Brie gave you?'. Green slammed his head on the freezer door, 'OH FUCK!' he shouted. 'Oh well, we got to see Queen and Bob Marley in concert'. 'Smoke weed every day' Falco added. KL cut the reunion short, 'we need to get out of here, missiles are coming'...
teal replied with this 11 years ago, 2 days later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #607,886
'Oi I am well some pissed bruvs!' said Green. KL was intrigued, 'you a what'. Green got in a rage and smashed 1 litre beer mugs. 'I don' t give a fuck and I walked in front of a car near Tesco then stuck my middle to the old cow. Shit balls'...
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 1 week later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #610,383
The party dashed out of the doors of Tesco and looked on in horror as Tesco was exploded. 'Oh my God, they blew up Tesco!' said KL. 'You bastards!' shouted Green. KL started beeping. 'It's a message from r04r!' began KL, 'I need to go to her base for an update that will cause more bugs than it fixes. I am also being upgraded to Android 8.1, Custard Cream! We will take my jet, but we have to be careful, Kimmo controls everything'. 'Brb soundcloud' said Falco as he took out his iPhone. 'oh noes. Google has been replaced with anontalk :0'. KL summoned his jet and the party got in. They flew to r04r's base, but stealthbombers pursued them. 'Those crackers be firin heat gats at yo mama' said Henn. 'Heat missiles incoming, brace your shelves!' commanded KL. Ghostmortem knew what he had to do. He lit up a cigarette and floated out the jet, drawing the rockets away. The party looked out the window as the missiles boomed into Ghostmortem...
Anonymous M replied with this 11 years ago, 5 days later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #612,091
bump
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 2 days later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #612,831
'Oh no, Postmortem is dead!' said Fake anon sadly. Suddenly a ghost appeared in the jet, 'of course I'm dead, I'm a ghost' winked Ghostmortem cheekily. The party arrived at r04r's secret base and entered. 'Ah, you cunts, took your sweet fucking time didn't you?' asked r04r shoutily. 'Quickly' continued r04r, I have been detecting unusually high energy spikes at CERN. You need to get there post haste after I have upgraded you'. r04r took KL's chip out of his pasty and smashed it. Fake anon was agog with surprise, 'what did you do?!'. r04r then took out a brand new shiny pasty. 'This is the pasty version 0.2. It is bulletproof and can survive almost anything except a direct explosion'. r04r then put KL's chip back in the pasty and reset it to his heel. 'It should be more concealed now' said r04r. r04r then took out a fedora. 'What dat cracker ass hat?' enquired Henn. r04r took KL's chip out the pasty and put it in the fedora. 'Wear it!' she said to Green. Green put the fedora on his head. 'Oi, you fookin noofter, gimme a pasty!' said a voice in the fedora. 'I can hear Killer Lettuce' exclaimed Green. 'I bet the neurotypicals did this!' said r04r. Suddenly, the fedora vanished. 'Wha-what?' stuttered Matt. 'Cloaking mechanism you fat fuck' replied r04r, 'it will help in preventing the enemies capturing KL. To make it reappear, say the passphrase 'I masturbate to My Little Pony'. r04r took KL aside to have a quick word with him about his upgrade and the party got prepared. When the party were ready, r04r gave them words of encouragement. 'Now fuck off and stop Kimmo'...
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 29 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #612,835
The party entered KL's jet and flew to CERN, avoiding drones and military aircrafts. The party landed outside CERN and entered. 'So, you psychotic fucktards have come at last. You think you can stop me?' 'What are you doing Kimmo?' asked KL. Kimmo laughed with Scatman. 'I, am changing history. For a whole year, the Large Hadron Collider has been gathering energy and it is fully charged at last. KL started scanning, 'we need to get out of here, fast!' he exclaimed. 'There are large quantities of quantum neutrinos and AIDS quarks are fluctuating'. Kimmo shrugged, 'I will be safe in my chrono-magneton shield, you however, shall be destroyed by the blast'. Green and Falco clenched their fists, ready for a boss battle, 'why are you doing this things, Kimmo?' Green asked. 'Because I don't want to rule the world, I want to rule over time itself!' shouted Kimmo with gleeful malice. KL started calculating frantically, 'WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW!'. Suddenly, a bright white light started emanating around the LHC. 'Too late!' chirped Kimmo. The party braced themselves for their fate, knowing they could not escape in time. Suddenly, a man appeared in thin air, 'I have unlocked my full power!' said Brie, having finished his twentieth bottle of DXM. 'Fucking pests!' Kimmo said in a rage. He started shooting at the party but Brie teleported them out of there. 'Brrr!' said Falco, his teeth chattering, 'it's cold mane'. Green smiled with relief. 'Brie, you saved us!'. Green went to hug Brie, but something was awry. 'BRIE!'. Brie clutched his chest, blood pouring down from it. Brie collapsed into the snow. 'Regenerate Brie!' cried Green. 'Only enough energy to teleport you all here' replied Brie. The party gathered round, tears rolling down their cheeks. 'Stop Kimmo, you are the light warriors'. Brie tipped his fedora and let said his final words 'm'lady' before drifting off into darkness...
End of Part 4...
End of Part 4...
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 11 years ago, 6 days later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #615,324
Part 5
'What's up dude?' asked Falco. KL was an epiphany, 'nothing is up but the sky! We are in Antartica!'. Mark started to shalom his kippers, 'what?' he said. KL pontificated, 'Brie teleportred us here with the last of his power. we are in Antartica. Kimmoo has created time fractures with his CERN'. Green shat a bears, 'what does that mEAN?'. KL has a stern look, 'it means the world is in different time periods!'...........,,,,,,,,,,,
'What's up dude?' asked Falco. KL was an epiphany, 'nothing is up but the sky! We are in Antartica!'. Mark started to shalom his kippers, 'what?' he said. KL pontificated, 'Brie teleportred us here with the last of his power. we are in Antartica. Kimmoo has created time fractures with his CERN'. Green shat a bears, 'what does that mEAN?'. KL has a stern look, 'it means the world is in different time periods!'...........,,,,,,,,,,,
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 11 years ago, 9 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #615,419
If there were to be a movie of the minichanfics, this is who I would imagine playing the parts:
Falco: David Schwimmer
Green: Stephen Fry
Killer Lettuce: Ricky Gervais
Fake anon: Ben Stein
Ks: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Postmortem: David Duchovny
TTEH: Russell Brand
Henn: Shaquille O'Neal
McWalter: William Shatner
Matt: Ben Stiller
Dr Roberts: Robert De Niro
Dreamworks:
Kimmo:
Squeegee: Sylvester Stallone
r04r:
Catherine:
Becky:
Falco: David Schwimmer
Green: Stephen Fry
Killer Lettuce: Ricky Gervais
Fake anon: Ben Stein
Ks: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Postmortem: David Duchovny
TTEH: Russell Brand
Henn: Shaquille O'Neal
McWalter: William Shatner
Matt: Ben Stiller
Dr Roberts: Robert De Niro
Dreamworks:
Kimmo:
Squeegee: Sylvester Stallone
r04r:
Catherine:
Becky:
RWBY Rhubarb? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #615,420
gruppi joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 12 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #615,546
Anonymous K replied with this 11 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #615,555
Green (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 7 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #615,649
KL continued, 'Kimmo used the power of CERN to create time fractures in the world, the world is split into different time periods. I'm trying to access more information, but we're in Antarctica and it's hard to get a 4G signal. Even 3G is difficult'. The party were worried. 'Why did Brie bring us here? And why aren't we affected by the time fractures?' asked Fake anon. KL began ranning some calculations, 'my hypothesis is that Brie took us to Antarctica because it was out the reach of Kimmo. He pretty much controls the entire world and is building a timeless empire. We are not affected by the time fractures due to being positively charged with tachyon particles; an effect due to travelling through time'. Ghostmortem lit 10 cigarettes to warm the partt up. 'Can't you summon your jet?' he asked KL. KL shook his head, 'no, it is in a different time period. We can't even get through to r04r'. Falco began running around in circles, 'what do we did lolz?'. Green comforted Falco. KL hushed the party, 'quick, hide. I am detecting movement. No, it can't be. Reptilian like creatures are approaching our position!'...
Green (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 19 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #615,979
The party blended in with some penguins as reptilians chased them. The reptilians were cunning, however, and spotted them amongst the penguins. The reptilians opened fire with laser rifles and narrowly missed Henn. 'What do we do?' asked Fake anon with an air of desperation. Green winked at Falco as they pulled down their trousers. 'We are black mages!' they said as Falco rubbed his nylon thong against Green's woolen knickers. They pointed their bums at the reptilians and shouted 'shock sharts!' as they sharted static electricity at the reptilians. The reptilians were stunned and the party took their equipment. 'I have determined the location of the reptilian's secret base!' exclaimed KL...
Green (OP) triple-posted this 11 years ago, 1 day later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #616,811
The party entered the secret base and KL analysed data. 'Oh no!', said KL, 'it is worse than we thought. The world is split up in to time fractures. Kimmo has built a fortress around Sweden and relocated CERN there'. Fake anon pumped his fist, 'what are we waiting for? I will perform my Jew-dough and destroy Kimmo'. KL tssked. 'It is not that simple. Kimmo has erected a shield around Sweden, with towers at different locations in the world. One in modern day Cornwall, one in the Roman Empire, one in Nazi Germany and one in Biblical Jerusalem. We must destroy the towers to lower the shield around Sweden!' explained KL. KL lowered a tachyon cloaked reptilian ship and the party flew to Cornwall...
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 11 years ago, 2 days later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #617,633
KL opened fire on the shield transmitter and destroyed it. The party cheered and flew the ship to London. They landed and KL rallied the party. 'This is where we must split up. Green, Falco and myself will take a spitfire to Germany, Matt and Fake anon; you take the reptilian ship and go to Rome, Henn, Murray and Ghostmortem; you drive your Ferrari to Jerusalem' said KL. Fake anon became lost in deep thought, 'if we travel through the time fractures, won't our vehicles also disappear?'. KL laughed heartily, 'no. Conveniently your tachyon field (sounds gross) will extend around the vehicles'. KL, Green and Falco got into a spitfire and flew to Germany, whilst Matt and Fake anon picked up the rest of the party and flew them to their Ferrari. The party was a heavy burdens...
Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 11 years ago, 8 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #617,636
Matt and Fake anon dropped the Ferrari somewhere near Israel. Henn put the petal to the metal or pedal to the medal and drove towards Jerusalem. The trio was discombobulated as they passed through a time fracture. Suddenly, the trio heard a roar, 'wot krazy assed ghetto is dis holmes?' Henn asked. Ghostmortem turned to Murray is shock. Murray winked, 'what is it Ghostmortem, you look like you've seen a ghost'. Ghostmortem started chain smoking, 'drive faster Henn', he coughed. 'And why should I do that foo?' he replied. Ghostmortem stuck 20 cigarettes in his mouth, 'because a fucking T-Rex is chasing us!'...
Green (OP) sextuple-posted this 11 years ago, 12 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #617,637
Matt and Fake anon flew to Rome and shot at the transmitter. 'Damn, out of ammo' he said, 'looks like we have to do this the old fashioned way', he said, opening his emergency Falun Dafa Gong kit. Matt parked the ship behind some bushes and enabled the cloaking device. They then proceeded towards the transmitter. Fake anon was having a Jewish time as Matt regaled him with stories of Chinese sewers. Suddenly some roman soldiers ran out from behind some rocks and surrounded them. 'What is with their armour it's blue. And their helmets, no that headdress, no it can't be' he said quivering. Fake anon and Matt started to shiver in terror as the roman soldiers began to shout; 'quickla, quickla, gotta run fastimum!'...
Green (OP) septuple-posted this 11 years ago, 7 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #617,640
KL flew the plane into Berlin and landed it in a field. Green took out his beerzooka and shot Nazis on the way to the transmitter. KL punched Nazis and stole their guns and began shooting them. The threesome reached the transmitter but their guns ram out of ammo. Nazis closed in on them and the threesome surrendered. Green put KL's chip in his fedora and said 'I bet the neurotypicals did this'. Falco smoked more weed and noticed something amiss, 'wait, those aren't typical Nazis' he began, they're Nazi shemales'. Green gulped, 'in yoga pants'...
Green (OP) octuple-posted this 11 years ago, 6 days later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #620,269
'What done we did?' asked Murray. Henn turned around and winked, 'blast it with pigs'. Murray felt under his seat and found a Pigs Blaster. Murray started firing pigs at the T-Rex, slowing it down. The T-Rex then stopped to eat the pigs. Ghostmortem lit up a victory cigarette. The party travelled through a time fracture and ended up in Jerusalem. Henn got out and locked the doors. They saw the tower and proceeded to it. However, something was awry. The party heard a British professor shouting 'there is no God!'...
Green (OP) nonuple-posted this 11 years ago, 8 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #620,270
The Romans took Matt and Fake anon to their emperor and tossed them down. 'What do you call a ginger midget?' asked the emperor. Fake anon looked up in shock, 'no, you sweaty autistic mess'. Matt was positively befuddled, 'where is Julius Caesar?' he asked. Leonidas laughed. A smirk ran across his face, 'he has gotta run fast'. Matt was seething with rage, 'you have turned the entire Roman Empire autistic. You can't do this!'. Leonidas booted up his Dreamcast. 'Kimmo is the supreme emperor of the world and time. You can't stop him. Who do you think you are?'. Matt stared daggers at Leonidas, 'I am Mattimus Mantitticus, leader of the Falun Dafa Gong and a freedom fighter against the oppressive Chinese government. If I can take down the Chinese government, I can take down an autistic Roman empire'. Leonidas was too enthralled in Sonic Adventure 2, 'Chris, take them to the Colosseum'...
RWBY Rhubarb? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #620,272
Green (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #620,286
The Nazi shemales took the threesome to a cell. The party waited there in disdain. 'What do we do?' asked Green. Falco winked, 'poo stew'. Green finished his cider and shat in the fedora. Falco ate a ton of beef and shat out rock solid turds, he then stirred it with his lucky spoon and Green and Falco drank down the stew. 'I'm glad to see that this fanfic has really matured and the quality has vastly improved' interjected KL. 'What?' asked Green. KL shrugged, 'nevermind'. Falco and Green were fully healed and restored all their HP and MP. 'Spider' said Falco as he took a spider out his pocket. Green stretched out his hand and revealed a moth. The moth flew the spider to the Nazi shemale prison guard and the spider stole the key, The spider returned to Falco and the threesome made their escape, KL twatting Nazi shemales. They made there way through the tunnels but they heard a booming, echoing voice sing 'bah bah bah bah bah, I'm loving it'...
Anonymous E replied with this 11 years ago, 3 days later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #621,295
Green (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 1 day later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #621,717
'Oh shit homies, its that cracker ass atheist' said Henn. The trio approached Dawkins, 'yo, where the son of God at fool?' Henn asked Dawkins. Dawkins laughed at the crowd of people who had gathered, 'God! There is no God. The universe just randomly exploded and fish turned into frogs which turned into monkeys and then turned into is. Makes sense'. Ghostmortem almost broke his own hand thinking about the ridiculous theory of evolution. Murray raised his staff and smote Dawkins with some dogbear powers. 'Where is Jesus?' Henn repeated. Dawkins smirked, 'he's caved in'. The trio ran to the cave where Jesus would resurrect and freed him. Jesus ran up to Dawkins, 'begone Satan he shouted' and the crowd cheered. Jesus then blew up the transmitter with lightning. Ghostmortem lit up a cigarette, 'now we go to Sweden!'...
Green (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 14 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #621,721
Soldiers dragged Matt and Fake anon to the arena and closed the gates. 'Uh oh spaghettios' said Fake anon, 'looks like we am a gladiators'. Suddenly, lions ran at the. Fake anon jumped on a dreidel and brought about a plague of locusts that did eat the lions. Leonidas looked away from Sonic 06 to see the lions were defeated. 'Release the asperger army. Suddenly a troop of heavily armoured romans with large pikes entered the arena they walked towards Matt and Fake anon. 'What do we do?' asked Fake anon, 'they are too powerful'. Matt tipped his shades, 'it's Falun Dafa Go time'. Matt reached inside his pocket and hooked up an orange to some batteries and threw it at the roman soldiers blowing them up. Leonidas had an autistic meltdown, 'Kill them!' he roared. More roman soldiers entered the colosseum. Matt blew up the gate and he and Fake anon ran to the tower. On the top floor they found Julius Caesar. 'Et tu' he said. Fake anon led Julius Caesar to safety as Matt blew up the transmitter. Julius Caesar unsheathed his sword and charged after Leonidas. Leonidas and Chris got into their Eggomobile and flew off shouting, 'we gotta run fast!'. Fake anon and Matt cheered as they headed back to the reptilian ship. Matt turned on the ignition, 'now we go blow up some things in Sweden'...
RWBY Rhubarb? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #621,725
Green (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 9 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #621,729
'Cis scum!' shouted McWalter. KL laughed, 'oh, it's just McWalter. Ok. Lets get this over with fast, you're not really a credible threat'. McWalter almost choked on his McDonalds. He then ran into his office. Falco and Green high-fived. Suddenly a rumbling and buzzing was heard and the roof caved in. 'Wha-what is that :00' asked Falco. 'It's a giant shemale robot!' guffawed McWalter. Green winked at Falco, 'easy'. They rubbed their bums, 'shock sharts' they shouted as they sharted electricity on the giant shemale robot, but it had no effect. McWalter sniggered. KL started analysing 'analysing. It is a steam-powered giant shemale robot. Electricity will have no effect'. McWalter pressed a button, 'get a load of this!' he said as a giant titanium dick erupted out of the shemale robot. It blasted steam from it's titanium penis at the threesome, but they narrowly dodged it. 'What do we do?' asked Green. KL began to run calculations. 'It is too powerful for your magic', he concluded...
(Edited 1 minute later.)
RWBY Rhubarb? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 8 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #621,730
@previous (Green)
Wait, isn't McWalter usually a good guy in these? Or is it just because of time being manipulated by Kimmo?
Wait, isn't McWalter usually a good guy in these? Or is it just because of time being manipulated by Kimmo?
Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 11 years ago, 1 week later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,535
I Green will add new chapters because the lulz.
Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 11 years ago, 39 seconds later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,536
Green !BEERiVqJJw triple-posted this 11 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,537
brie !uXWPG0MygI joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 7 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,541
Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 11 years ago, 5 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,543
brie !uXWPG0MygI replied with this 11 years ago, 9 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,547
@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Green, I've always wanted to be your bud
I am saddened that you don't want to be my bud anymore
Truely.
Green, I've always wanted to be your bud
I am saddened that you don't want to be my bud anymore
Truely.
(Edited 24 seconds later.)
|βʒ| Meowth replied with this 11 years ago, 23 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,560
brie !uXWPG0MygI replied with this 11 years ago, 19 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,568
Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 11 years ago, 9 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,636
RWBY Rhubarb? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 47 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,640
@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
You won't be banned, son. You don't have it in you to go full shitposter.
You won't be banned, son. You don't have it in you to go full shitposter.
Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 11 years ago, 17 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,641
@previous (RWBY Rhubarb? !!iNo3FkiZx)
Can I at least be banned from IRC? I can't even remember anything I say there.
Can I at least be banned from IRC? I can't even remember anything I say there.
Green double-posted this 11 years ago, 1 day later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,879
Suddenly a giant titanium phallus erupted from in between the mecha-shemale's legs. 'Duck!' commanded KL. Steam steamed out of the mecha-shemale's dick, narrowly missing Falco. Green and Falco tried all their spells. Green and Falco ate some burritos and vindaloos and braced themselves. Their stomachs rumbled with explosive power. 'NUKE POOTS!' they shouted as a tsunami of fiery diarrhea knocked the mecha-shemale against the wall. 'Minimal damage' said KL, 'McWalter, we need some exposition as to why you are doing this' asked KL. McWalter grinned, 'Kimmo promised me an army of nazi shemales and he is planning to destroy all other fast-food restaurants except McDonalds if I help him'. KL nodded. 'What do we do?' asked Falco. Green took out some Bibles and butter, 'there is only one thing to do, it's buttering time'...
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Green triple-posted this 11 years ago, 7 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,882
Green buttered some Bibles as KL steadied the cricket bat. 'Aim for the urethra' said Green. Green threw the Bibles at KL as he swung the bat and aimed for the giant mecha nazi shemale robot's titanium urethra. McWalter just laughed, 'what are you hoping to accomplish?'. McWalter tried to steam the party again. 'Wait-wha. It's clogged. Why is this happening?' asked McWalter anxiously. Green winked, 'it's Tesco Value Butter'. Steam pressure built inside the mecha shemale until it exploded, killing McWalter. 'Looks like he should have ordered the happy meal' said KL...
Anonymous C replied with this 11 years ago, 6 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,886
@previous (Green)
I am sad that McWalter is dead. I think that his descent into villainy was inevitable, but nonetheless I remember all of the good he did and his heroic actions. I'll miss him. :(
I am sad that McWalter is dead. I think that his descent into villainy was inevitable, but nonetheless I remember all of the good he did and his heroic actions. I'll miss him. :(
Green replied with this 11 years ago, 11 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,889
Falco picked up the giant titanium dick and refilled the balls with water. The threesome then proceeded towards the tower, steaming nazis along the way. 'Butt stuff :))' said Falco as he threw the giant titanium dick at the shield generator and destroyed it. 'All shield generators are down!' rejoiced KL. 'Now we must go to Sweden. I must warn you, Sweden is one of the most liberal places in the world. Once we get there we may not be able to go back. Are you ready?'
> Yes.
> No.
> Yes.
> No.
Green double-posted this 11 years ago, 5 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,892
The threesome got in the spitfire and flew towards Sweden. They flew over the border and were greeted with rockets. 'It's Islamic State In Sweden' said KL, 'the outer areas of Sweden are in the 2050s when Islam becomes the predominant religion in Sweden. We'll have to land the plane down in a field somewhere and drive to Stockholm'. KL piloted the plane down and broke into a car. KL drove with utmost haste, avoiding rockets and burqas. They were almost in Stockholm, however the car broke down'...
Green triple-posted this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,906
Extremists surrounded the car, 'looks like this is the end' said Green. Suddenly the party heard shouting, 'Murray used bacon, it's super effective'. Murray repelled the extremists with bacon. KL winked, 'good to see you'. Murray, Ghostmortem and Henn joined the party. The party got in Henn's Ferrari and proceeded to Stockholm. They entered the city and went through another time fracture. 'Where have all the building gone lol k -_-?' asked Falco. Suddenly, a horde of vikings ran towards the car with axes. The vikings swung at the car as Henn slammed on the accelerator. 'Shit holmes, my car got too much damage' said Henn. The party got out but were surrounded by angry vikings. 'We are doom' said Ghostmortem. Green fired his Beerzooka at the vikings but they just ate the cans. 'It's no use?' said KL. A viking ran towards Falco at full speed and suddenly exploded. 'Falun Dafa it's on' shouted Matt. Fake anon shalomed the party and they all hugged. The party walked to Anontalk Towers and Matt blew up the gate. They proceeded to enter, ready to thwart Kimmo...
Green quadruple-posted this 11 years ago, 9 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,908
Spambots greeted the party with machine gun fire. 'Shit, dis is how we do it in da hood!' said Henn as he took out a shotgun and proceeded to shoot the spambots. Green and Falco shock-sharted some spambots and KL ripped out their circuitry. The party were almost at the centre of Anontalk Towers and could see the Large Hadron Collider. 'So, you psychotic fucktards have come!' said Kimmo in a rage, you are too late, I am the supreme Emperor of the world! No one can stop me now!'. KL ran some calculations, 'you're wrong Kimmo. We have killed or scared your lieutenant s away. We have freed Julius Caesar, Hitler and Jesus. We will destroy the LHC and restore time back to normal'. Kimmo got in his Kimmo-tron. 'It's your're. And I have a little surprise for you. Allow me to introduce you to my powerful cyborg servant!' bellowed Kimmo. Suddenly, an elevator carrying a cyborg ascended. The cyborg started shouting, 'worthless fucking trolls'...
(Edited 1 minute later.)
RWBY Rhubarb? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 52 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,918
Green replied with this 11 years ago, 2 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #624,933
'No, Ks! What has Kimmo done to you?!' shouted Green. Kimmo chuckled maliciously, 'I'm afraid, resistance is quite..futile! I found his body in the burning wreckage of a military base in New Britain, still alive, I have upgraded him. He runs on meth and has had his memories supressed. Ksyborg, kill them all!' commanded Kimmo. Ksyborg aimed his minigun at the party and fired. A barrage of bullets hailed down on the party. The party took cover and Henn shot back. 'It's no use, he has a some sort of force-field' said Fake anon. The Kimmo-tron dashed towards Falco and Falco back-flipped dodging the Kimmo-tron. Falco shock-sharted the Kimmo-tron, stunning him briefly. 'MechaWalter, attack!' shouted Kimmo. A robot crashed through the ceiling and started farting McNuggets at the party. A rock solid McNugger hit Matt. 'Typical, bland USAmerican food!' said Matt. Ksyborg sucker-punched Fake anon, knocking the yom kippur off his head. KL rose up and managed to get his hand through Ksyborg's shield and disabled it. KL then proceeded to beat down on Ksyborg. Ksyborg tried to fight back, but KL switched to soft-light. Ksyborg took out a small,round device and put it on KL's pasty. KL analysed it and discovered it was a EMP bomb. It exploded...
Green double-posted this 11 years ago, 2 days later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #625,835
'You noofter! You electro-magnetic pulsed me fookin pasty!' KL started to fade and turn staticy. 'Ugh, he disrupted my pasty's core matrix, I can only maintain 8.7% hard-light power!' exclaimed KL. Green put down his Beerzooka, 'Ks, stop, it's us' said Green, 'you remember us, you remember John?'. Ks started to shake his head as images of Postmortem's helicopter dong gently swaying in the breeze entered his mind. 'I WANT SOME LONG JOHN DONG!' shouted Ks as his memory suppressant chip fried. At that moment, Ghostmortem flew through the wall. 'It's all yours' he said. Ks reached out for Ghostmortem's penis, but his hand just went through it. A ghost tear went down Ghostmortem's face, 'look, but don't touch. It is a ghost dong'...
Green triple-posted this 11 years ago, 1 day later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #626,237
MechaWalter charged at Falco but Ks jumped down and stopped him. 'You guys go after Kimmo, I'll hold back MechaWalter' said Ks. The Kimmotron shot lasers at Matt, but Matt deflected them with his fully rugged Macbook Pro. One of the lasers hit the Kimmotron, temporarily stunning him. Falco picked up Green and flew him towards Kimmo. Green hit the Kimmotron with his cricket bat. Kimmo gained control of the Kimmotron and flew around the room like a pissed off condom. 'Get a load of this' said Kimmo as he unleashed a barrage of missiles on the party. Fake anon used his Kabbalah to stop the missiles before they hit the party and flung them back at Kimmo. The Kimmotron crashed and into a burning wreckage. The party approached Kimmo, 'any last words?' asked KL. Kimmo turned to the party and put on his sunglasses, 'yes. Sorry for party rocking'...
Green (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 1 day later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #626,843
Kimmo played with some buttons on his watch and Ks shot at him. The bullets just bouced off, 'quantum shielding' explained Kimmo, winking naughtily. Kimmo then went to the LHC controls and began randomly mashing buttons. 'Well, so long!' said Kimmo as he got into the Kimmocopter and flew away. Ks started firing at the LHC. 'You've done it!' said KL in a delighted tone, 'the time fractures are shrinking and time is returning to norma..oh no. What has Kimmo done!'. KL approached the control panel. 'No. This isn't good. Kimmo has programmed the LHC to reach maximum atoms. If this happens, it will destroy Sweden'. Ks fired at the LHC again. 'STOP!', barked KL, 'any disruption will cause it to reach critical mass early and cause premature ejaculation. I will try reversing the polarity'. KL fiddled with the nobs and buttons. 'It's deadlocked, there is nothing we can do. We have 10 minutes to get out of Sweden'...
Green (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 15 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #626,847
'To the reptilian ship!' said Matt as the party started to leave the CERN base. Green and Falco were almost out the gates when they noticed KL was still in there, playing with the control panel. 'We'll catch up' Green shouted to Matt as he approached KL. Ks and Ghostemortem followed Green and Falco. 'What are you doing?' asked Ks. 'I can bring back Britain! If I lock on to it with a tachyon beam moments before the Marsdens destroyed it'. Ks shook his head, 'you don't need to do that'. Anontalk Towers started falling apart due to the power of the LHC. 'Leave without me' replied KL. Green stood firmly, 'never. You are our friend and we are all leaving together'...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) triple-posted this 11 years ago, 5 days later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #628,192
Matt opened the door of the reptilian ship and the party got in. 'Everyone, strap yourselves on' said Matt, 'this is going to be a bumpy ride'. Matt started the thrusters and the party waited. 'What is taken that fucking piece of shit Green, sexy Falco and the other plebs so long?' asked Fake anon. Suddenly the ground around the party started to crumble. 'We need to get out of here!' exclaimed Matt. 'We can't leave without them!' replied Fake anon indignantly. Suddenly, Anontalk Towers started to collapse and an ominous glow emerged. 'That's it. They are surely dead. We are leaving!' said Matt as he engaged the primary engine. 'NO!' shouted Fake anon as he raised his staff. Matt took Fake anon's staff and knocked him unconscious with it before flying the ship away...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) quadruple-posted this 11 years ago, 1 day later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #628,637
'Did it!' said KL, 'I have brought Britain back!'. The party cheered, but the building started to collapse around them. Ks threw rubble out of the way and cleared path for the party to escape. The party ran towards where the reptilian ship was landed, but it was no longer there. 'They have left without us!' shouted Green in outrage. KL began calculating an alternate escape route, 'we still have time to reach the spitfire if we leave now!'. Suddenly, the Swedish army surrounded the party. Ks shot at them with his minigun and hijacked a military vehicle. KL got in the driver's seat and the rest of the party got in. Ks took command of the mounted gun on the back and started to shoot at the pursuing Swedish army. Suddenly, liberals popped out from behind their curtains and started throwing meatballs at the party. Ks shot them and cheered immensely. However, a menace was also in pursuit...
EVERYONE with sense joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 13 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #628,721
Bring bAck beRt!!
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 10 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #628,794
'It's Pewdiepie!' exclaimed Ghostmortem. Pewdiepie chased the party, making stupid voices and shrieking. Ks fired at Pewdiepie, but Pewdiepie hid behind his loyal fans; 5 year olds. Ks eventually leapt from the vehicle and landed on Pewdiepie's car. Ks smashed the windshield with his robotic fist and dragged Pewdiepie out the car. He then shoved his fist down Pewdiepie's throat and brutally ripped out his voice box. 'Try making let's plays without this' said Ks smirking. Ks then began to curb stomp Pewdiepie's head on the road and brain matter and blood began flying everywhere. As a finale, he lunged his fist all the way down Pewdiepie's throat and ripped out his spine, he used it as a whip against the pursuing bro army. Ks then caught up with the party and got on the vehicle again...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 8 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #628,795
The party almost reached the spitfire, however the Swedes and liberals were still pursuing the party. The party ran towards the spitfire, but the Swedes were firing at them. 'We can't take off with them firing at us!' explained KL. Suddenly, a helicopter appeared and a man in it started shooting the Swedes. 'It can't be!' said Falco. 'It is!' replied Green, 'it's Jeremy Corbyn!'. Jeremy Corbyn waved at the party and winked as he started shooting Swedes and flew away. KL started the spitfire and the party got in. 'There is no room for you Ks' said KL as he threw a rope down, 'hold on to this rope. This is going to be a bumpy ride'. The spitfire took off just in the knickers of time. The party looked back to see Sweden going supernova...
RWBY Rhubarb? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 6 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #628,797
@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
This chapter made me think more highly of Corbyn. It proves that, when the chips are down, he's there to help out the good guys.
@628,794 (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
The Bro Army will likely fall into disarray after this.
This chapter made me think more highly of Corbyn. It proves that, when the chips are down, he's there to help out the good guys.
@628,794 (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
The Bro Army will likely fall into disarray after this.
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 2 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #628,803
The party cheered at the destruction of Sweden, however, they were not out of the lovely woods yet. Stealth-bombers uncloaked and began firing upon the party. 'They think we're ISIS!' said KL frantically. Ks began swinging on his rope, gaining momentum. When he done a pendulum, he let go and landed on a stealth-bomber. He proceeded to punch the stealth-bomber and bent the nose, veering it into the other. Ks used the explosion to land back on the spitfire. 'Good job Green' said KL. 'Uh oh, said KL. We're running out of plane petrol and the supernova has damaged our wings. Honk honk. We're going to crash'...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) double-posted this 11 years ago, 9 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #628,804
KL piloted the plane into the sea. The party swam to the surface and saw a boat full of fucking ugly liberals. Ks threw the liberals into the sea where sharks ate them. The party pulled themselves up to the boat. The party cheered and Falco lit up a joint. Ghostmortem ghost-hugged Ks. Ks snorted a boulder of meth and Green opened a bottle of Lambrini to celebrate. KL however was not celebrating, his eyes turned red as he pulled out a disintegrator gun from a secret compartment in his pasty and shot Green. Falco looked on in sheer horror as all that was left of Green was ashes. 'What have you done :'(?' cried Falco as he held the ashes in his hands. Ks began shooting at KL, but it was too late. KL summoned and got into his jet and flew away into the horizon...
End of Part 5
End of Part 5
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 6 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #628,805
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 2 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #628,806
Epilogue
The party were all at the funeral and were crying heavily. 'What do you think happened?' asked Matt. Ks blew into his handkerchief, 'it must've been Kimmo. He hacked into KL for one final chuckle'. Fake anon shallomed Ks. 'How is Falco?' he asked. Ks shook his head, 'not good. He hasn't taken this well and he is smoking weed every day'. Ghostmortem finished his millionth cigarette and began glowing. 'What is happening?' queried Ks. 'I have done it. I have finished my business and I am going to heaven'. Ks cried, 'no John. Don't leave us. I lo-. I you' stuttered Ks. Ks' vocal chip had malfunctioned, but it was too late. A beam of light surrounded Ghostmortem and he ascended to heaven. Ks wept a tsunami. Falco went up to Green's gravestone and ripped his shirt open with grief as he read the words 'pooped my pant hasn't yours'
THE END
The party were all at the funeral and were crying heavily. 'What do you think happened?' asked Matt. Ks blew into his handkerchief, 'it must've been Kimmo. He hacked into KL for one final chuckle'. Fake anon shallomed Ks. 'How is Falco?' he asked. Ks shook his head, 'not good. He hasn't taken this well and he is smoking weed every day'. Ghostmortem finished his millionth cigarette and began glowing. 'What is happening?' queried Ks. 'I have done it. I have finished my business and I am going to heaven'. Ks cried, 'no John. Don't leave us. I lo-. I you' stuttered Ks. Ks' vocal chip had malfunctioned, but it was too late. A beam of light surrounded Ghostmortem and he ascended to heaven. Ks wept a tsunami. Falco went up to Green's gravestone and ripped his shirt open with grief as he read the words 'pooped my pant hasn't yours'
THE END
RWBY Rhubarb? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 20 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #629,005
@628,803 (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
> story KL honks randomly
I think that your understanding of my psyche is too deep, to be honest!
> story KL honks randomly
I think that your understanding of my psyche is too deep, to be honest!
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 29 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #629,006
I will be having a few gay chavs and starting V-day later.
beckyderp !4aMoRa.T2Q replied with this 11 years ago, 2 days later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #629,646
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 10 years ago, 3 days later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #630,633
This still up lol?
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) double-posted this 10 years ago, 3 weeks later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #638,376
Why is this still stickied?
Anonymous J replied with this 10 years ago, 5 days later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #639,780
Fuck this thread too. Unsticky this already. Fuck.