Topic: Attn: Green
Anonymous A started this discussion 11 years ago #44,447
Isn't it time you shat in another hat m8? Post results. Thanks
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 2 hours later[^] [v] #586,980
He Shat in His Hat
The sun did not shine.
It was too wet to play.
so we sat in the house
all that cold, cold, wet day.
I sat there with sally.
we sat there, we two.
and I said, "How I wish
we had something to do!"
Too wet to go out
and too cold to play ball.
So we sat in the house.
We did nothing at all.
And then something went BUMP!
How that bump made us jump! We looked!
Then we saw Ben step in on the mat!
We looked and we saw him!
And he said to us, "why do you sit there like that?"
"I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny.
but we can have lots of good fun that is funny!"
"I know some good games we could play," said Ben.
"I know some new tricks to deface the Koran,
a lot of good tricks.
I will show them to you.
your mother will not mind at all if I do."
Then sally and I
did not know what to say.
Our mother was out of the house
for the day.
But our fish said, "no! no!
make Ben go away!
Tell that deviant Ben
you do NOT want to play.
he should not be here.
he should not be about.
he should not be here
when your mother is out!"
"Now! now! have no fear.
have no fear!" said Ben.
"why, we can have
lots of good fun, if you wish,
with a game that I call
up-up-up with a fish!"
"Put me down!" said the fish.
"This is no fun at all!
put me down!" said the fish.
"I do NOT wish to fall!"
"have no fear!" said Ben.
"I will not let you fall.
I will butter you up
to stick on the wall.
but that is not ALL i can do!"
said Ben...
"Look at me!
look at me now!" said Ben
with a bottle of gin.
Then he showed us his ass
and then he stuck it right in!
And with the pork from this can
We'll fry up a Koran!
"Fry up a Koran?"
"Fry up a Koran!
Right here in this pan!
Then we'll post on a chan
and get banned in Iran!"
but that is not all!
oh, no.
that is not all...
"Look at me!
Look at me!
Look at me NOW!
It is fun to have fun
but you have to know how.
I can cut up my arms
while trashing your flat!
I'll butter a Bible!
Then I'll shit in my hat!"
And he shat in his hat
right there on the floor
then he threw it behind him
and it stuck flat to the door.
He ran to the closet
and went in with a whirl.
When he came out
he was dressed like a girl!
"I know it is wet
and the sun is not sunny.
but we can play dress-up
and make posts that are funny!"
"As you can see by the make up,
I'm Bella!" he said
"We could sing Katie Perry
or light fires instead!"
Just then we grabbed matches
and set the sofa ablaze
"I'll twat Richard Dawkins!"
we heard through the haze
My head poked through the smoke
enough for a look
just in time to see Ben
throw in a book.
He grabbed for his belt
and undid the buckle.
He stripped himself naked
while having a chuckle.
Naked, he rolled around on the floor.
He bumped into a table then into the door.
The door with his hat stuck to it flat
and just then the hat fell down with a splat!
"I can suck me self off!"
He said with a cough.
As he rolled on the floor
in the shit by the door.
He dipped and he flipped
on the floor by the door.
He could suck his own dick!
He had the tip to his lip
It was quite a slick trick
to suck one's own dick.
And then he stood up
and staggered about.
"It's just about time
I was on my way out."
"You see," he explained
"I'm needed at Tesco."
Red faced and shit stained
He was ready to go.
"Cider awaits!" he carried on
He put on his hat
and with that he was gone.
The sun did not shine.
It was too wet to play.
so we sat in the house
all that cold, cold, wet day.
I sat there with sally.
we sat there, we two.
and I said, "How I wish
we had something to do!"
Too wet to go out
and too cold to play ball.
So we sat in the house.
We did nothing at all.
And then something went BUMP!
How that bump made us jump! We looked!
Then we saw Ben step in on the mat!
We looked and we saw him!
And he said to us, "why do you sit there like that?"
"I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny.
but we can have lots of good fun that is funny!"
"I know some good games we could play," said Ben.
"I know some new tricks to deface the Koran,
a lot of good tricks.
I will show them to you.
your mother will not mind at all if I do."
Then sally and I
did not know what to say.
Our mother was out of the house
for the day.
But our fish said, "no! no!
make Ben go away!
Tell that deviant Ben
you do NOT want to play.
he should not be here.
he should not be about.
he should not be here
when your mother is out!"
"Now! now! have no fear.
have no fear!" said Ben.
"why, we can have
lots of good fun, if you wish,
with a game that I call
up-up-up with a fish!"
"Put me down!" said the fish.
"This is no fun at all!
put me down!" said the fish.
"I do NOT wish to fall!"
"have no fear!" said Ben.
"I will not let you fall.
I will butter you up
to stick on the wall.
but that is not ALL i can do!"
said Ben...
"Look at me!
look at me now!" said Ben
with a bottle of gin.
Then he showed us his ass
and then he stuck it right in!
And with the pork from this can
We'll fry up a Koran!
"Fry up a Koran?"
"Fry up a Koran!
Right here in this pan!
Then we'll post on a chan
and get banned in Iran!"
but that is not all!
oh, no.
that is not all...
"Look at me!
Look at me!
Look at me NOW!
It is fun to have fun
but you have to know how.
I can cut up my arms
while trashing your flat!
I'll butter a Bible!
Then I'll shit in my hat!"
And he shat in his hat
right there on the floor
then he threw it behind him
and it stuck flat to the door.
He ran to the closet
and went in with a whirl.
When he came out
he was dressed like a girl!
"I know it is wet
and the sun is not sunny.
but we can play dress-up
and make posts that are funny!"
"As you can see by the make up,
I'm Bella!" he said
"We could sing Katie Perry
or light fires instead!"
Just then we grabbed matches
and set the sofa ablaze
"I'll twat Richard Dawkins!"
we heard through the haze
My head poked through the smoke
enough for a look
just in time to see Ben
throw in a book.
He grabbed for his belt
and undid the buckle.
He stripped himself naked
while having a chuckle.
Naked, he rolled around on the floor.
He bumped into a table then into the door.
The door with his hat stuck to it flat
and just then the hat fell down with a splat!
"I can suck me self off!"
He said with a cough.
As he rolled on the floor
in the shit by the door.
He dipped and he flipped
on the floor by the door.
He could suck his own dick!
He had the tip to his lip
It was quite a slick trick
to suck one's own dick.
And then he stood up
and staggered about.
"It's just about time
I was on my way out."
"You see," he explained
"I'm needed at Tesco."
Red faced and shit stained
He was ready to go.
"Cider awaits!" he carried on
He put on his hat
and with that he was gone.
(Edited 3 minutes later.)
The Owl !KThEOwLwbU joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 54 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #587,006
brie joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 30 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #587,016
Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 49 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #587,023
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 2 hours later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #587,048
brie replied with this 11 years ago, 3 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #587,050
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 3 days later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #588,645
What is this?
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #588,661
brie replied with this 11 years ago, 1 day later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #589,154
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 21 hours later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #589,456
poems grate