Minichan

Topic: What's so special about Jesus again?

Anonymous A started this discussion 11 years ago #43,889

And why are these other claimants regarded to as false prophets?

Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 1 minute later[^] [v] #579,686

one fish
two fish
red fish
blue fish

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 3 minutes later, 4 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #579,688

@previous (B)
So it's a rainbow fish?

Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 39 seconds later, 5 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #579,689

Jesus performed miracles, and rose from the dead. Thanks.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 1 minute later, 6 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #579,691

@previous (C)
Post evidence. I'm sure these other messiahs claimed the same or something on that level.

Anonymous C replied with this 11 years ago, 4 minutes later, 11 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #579,698

@previous (A)
There are eyewitness accounts of Jesus, i.e. the Gospels.

Anonymous B replied with this 11 years ago, 1 minute later, 13 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #579,699

I think a company could do well selling quality metal custom Jesus fishes. I want one that says Jingus inside it.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 13 minutes later, 26 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #579,709

@579,698 (C)
One account isn't enough evidence. Post others.

hater !JGlOo5d1iU joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 53 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #579,740

@579,698 (C)
They're not reliable as historical documents. They're factually inaccurate. Herod never killed a bunch of babies during a census, for instance.

Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 7 hours later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,822

@579,689 (C)

> Jesus performed miracles, and rose from the dead. Thanks.

Provide proof he rose from the dead. I wanted living witnesses, not someone god killed in later years.

Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 29 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,840

He turned water into wine, anyone who can do that is a divine being for me.

Syntax joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 13 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,851

Not even a mention of Dinosaurs in the bible and not one person here believes Planet and Solar System was made in 6 days with Earth totally ready for human fornication via incest to occupy said Earth

Jesus? He is now doing battle with Allah - Jesus ain't exactly doing much good to stop them in2 them who follow Allah but hey it wood make for a good movie

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,892

@579,840 (F)
Because you're drunkard?

Anonymous F replied with this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,949

@previous (A)
I only enjoy God's single gift to humanity.

Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 45 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,962

@579,698 (C)
> the Gospels
> eyewitness accounts

LOL

Anonymous I joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 11 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,964

@579,840 (F)

> He turned water into wine, anyone who can do that is a divine being for me.

proof?

penthief !e6iiu.pZHU joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 33 minutes later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,967

@579,962 (H)
Why are you saying LOL? Were the gospels not eye witness accounts?

squeegee joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 14 minutes later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,969

@previous (penthief !e6iiu.pZHU)
they were written at earliest 100 year later. 3 or 4 generations later given the life expectancy at the time. maybe more even.

there are zero documents from the time of jesus that entered into the gospels. more than likely anything older (if it even existed) was burned by the counsel of nicea (however it was spelled) that assembled all the various books into one bible.

if the oldest writting of the earliest christians didn't contain miracles or his godhead then they would have been burned and not included.

so, sources were burned and all we have left are "the fanfic gospels." there are some sources that support this, like all the vast differences between the modern gospels and the dead sea scrolls. there were also many other gospels that we know of thag were not included, such as the gospel of Judas and any kind of gnostic books (after stealing their miracles and mysticism i believe.)

it's been years since i really got into reading the history of christianity, but it's all kinds of double-speak and hyperbole. but anyway, the gospels are not eye witness accounts. mostly the stories survived orally and eventually got written down, but only after many generations had a chance to play the telephone game with the info.

(Edited 6 minutes later.)

squeegee double-posted this 11 years ago, 8 minutes later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,970

oh yeah, and the unincluded gospels we've uncovered didn't say anything about him being the son of god or the messiah. he was just a really good dude and a prophet, but not god himself.

(Edited 12 seconds later.)

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 25 minutes later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,971

@579,969 (squeegee)
I mean...the Pauline epistles were written pretty soon after Jesus' death by someone who knew him personally. It's not like there's nothing about him.

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 47 seconds later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,972

@579,969 (squeegee)
@579,970 (squeegee)
I recalled something about there being fucking dragons in one of the parts that didn't make the final cut. Some Googling turned up this:

> And, lo, suddenly there came forth from the cave many dragons; and when the children saw them, they cried out in great terror. Then Jesus went down from the bosom of His mother, and stood on His feet before the dragons; and they adored Jesus, and thereafter retired.

No idea why that didn't make it in, personally.

squeegee joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 43 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,974

@579,971 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
sure, but half of those are not considered to be written by paul himself, and the ones that are very strongly reinforce paul as being the leader of the new church (as revealed to him by the god christ) check out First Corinthians and you'll see paul defend criticism of his apostleship by claiming Christ made him top boss (and who can dispute the godchrist, amiright?) and then he proceeded to micromanage sin in everyday lives (which was not something christ did, he didn't punish people, he forgave them.) also he does this in galatians and second Corinthian. he was really pushing himself as having been selected to lead by god.

to me it seems like the books that are generally considered to be BY paul are books that reinforce himself as the head of the church (and do what he says or else god).
this is also the earliest account of jesus' resurrection, so if you're looking to take power and hold it it's not a bad idea to make your friend who gave you the job literally god himself. now romans is pretty good, because it talks about the assurance of salvation and the forgiveness of god, and then in the next book he says, "oh yeah, i'm the boss now because jesus said so, and also he was magic and came back from the dead to give me the job." so do what i say or else.

so yeah. i don't know that i trust what the dude who made the power grab has to say, especially considering the non-cannon gospels that didn't mention a single miracle or even the resurrection date to a similar period.

and then there's the non-canonical gospel of Judas where judas claims to be the one who learned the true teachings of christ (and was following orders, not selling him out) and is the real leader of the church.

so it seems like after his death there were a few schisms in the early church. Some went on believing he was just a man and they wrote their books, others elevated him to a god and wrote their books. and it looks like the one who (i'll say lied) claimed jesus is God and gave him the job is the one who won. which is funny to think about, especially if Judas was the real head of the church and Paul just slandered him and beat him with a cooler story about a magic man.

Probably jesus just wanted everyone to be excellent to each other and paul turned it into a damn cult with him at the head and judas a slandered coward.

(Edited 8 minutes later.)

Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4 joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 6 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,976

@579,691 (A)
Even if they're not true, they're still things that make him special as a fictional character. Saying Jesus is not special is like saying Superman is not special. Jesus is the most well known character in the world. Period. Even people who aren't Christians know who Jesus is and know he is known as the son of God. Of the 7 billion people in the world, at least 6 billion know who Jesus is. That's special.

squeegee replied with this 11 years ago, 5 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,978

@previous (Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4)
eh, i guess. but most people know about ghengis khan. or Count Dracula. pretty much everyone on earth knows of William Shakespeare.
there's plenty of famous people who aren't famous for being called a god. And lots that are, like Ramses.

but that doesn't really stand out as so special it's utterly unique.

squeegee double-posted this 11 years ago, 2 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,979

oh yeah, and Paul also left lots of instruction on how to collect money from believers. so, elevate jesus to a god, say he come back as a miracle and made you head of everything, then tell everyone how awful they are and that atonement can be had for a price.

seems like a real straight shooter, that one

Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4 replied with this 11 years ago, 3 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,980

@579,978 (squeegee)
No, I'm willing to bet that if you interviewed the billion people in India, most of them would not be familiar with Dracula, or Shakespeare, or Ghengis Khan, yet most of them, even devout Hindus, know who Jesus is.

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 5 minutes later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,983

@previous (Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4)
They might be pretty familiar with Gengis Khan. His empire was fairly close to India, geographically.

The Owl !KThEOwLwbU joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 1 minute later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,985

@579,980 (Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4)

Homer Simpson
Mickey Mouse
Coca-cola-squiggly-line man

squeegee replied with this 11 years ago, 36 seconds later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,986

@579,980 (Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4)
i bet they know who george bush is. everyone knows obama. being world famous isn't unique, nor is it proof of anything. the dali lama might be equally as well known.
being world famous isn't unique, jesus isn't the only name in history with that kind of recognition.

mohammed might even be more well known than jesus is in today's world. probably just equally. but yeah, he's pretty famous. maybe even micky mouse famous.

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 1 minute later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #579,988

@579,985 (The Owl !KThEOwLwbU)
The Pringles guy.
The Monopoly guy.
Spider-Man.

The list goes on!

Anonymous I replied with this 11 years ago, 25 minutes later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #580,003

@previous (RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx)
santa clause
Michael Jackson
easter bunny
syntax

The Owl !KThEOwLwbU replied with this 11 years ago, 10 minutes later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #580,008

@previous (I)

Fun fact if you show anyone a portrait of white Jesus, they will recognise syntax

This is because syntax was the original artist in 1751 and based it on himself

Anonymous F replied with this 11 years ago, 7 minutes later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #580,009

@579,983 (RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx)
The ones living on the northwest probably would have some folklore on him, but I doubt the average Bengali or Telugu knows about him unless he learned it on school.

Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4 replied with this 11 years ago, 32 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #580,015

@579,986 (squeegee)
There are people in this fucking country who can't tell you who the fucking president is. You think some guy living in a hovel in Bangladesh knows who George W. Bush is? You're seeing the world through your cultural lens. You assume everyone knows who Obama is because everyone you deal with on a daily basis knows who he is. Just like most Americans don't know who the Prime Minister of Australia is, the rest of the world doesn't know much about our culture. Just about fucking EVERYBODY knows who Jesus is.

Also, 100 years ago, just about everyone knew the President was Woodrow Wilson. If you asked someone on the street NOW who was President 100 years ago, most would not be able to tell you it was Woodrow Wilson. But 100 years ago everyone knew who Jesus was, now everyone knows who Jesus is, and 100 years from now, religion will be even more irrelevant but just about everyone will still know who Jesus is.

You see these people? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sentinelese_people They're the only ones left who don't know who Jesus is. Pretty much everyone else has heard of Jesus, whether they like it or not. He's the most pervasive character in modern history.

(Edited 7 minutes later.)

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 2 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #580,019

@previous (Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4)
It'd be interesting if there were stats on this.

Not that I really care about this particular debate, but it might be an idea to dig around to see if there are numbers that back you up.

squeegee replied with this 11 years ago, 12 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #580,025

oooooh yeah, so i was just reading about it. So like yeah, the early church was all fragmented and most early christians disagreed about the resurrection. That's why paul was writting his letters, they were to the different churches explaining to them that the belief in the resurrection was at the core of the religion, and if they didn't believe it then there was no point in any faith at all.

in 1 Corinthians 1:10-12 he even acknowledges there's a schism and that some people considered the followers of Paul to be different than the followers of Christ.
> One of you says, “I follow Paul”; another, “I follow Apollos”; another, "I follow Cephas"; still another, “I follow Christ.”

then paul reiterates that he was sent by jesus to preach the gospel "not with wisdom and eloquence". then he goes on to explain why "thinking too much" weakens you spiritually.

corinthians 2 (the whole thing) then goes on to further explain how human wisdom is smoke and mirrors and how "fake wisdom" killed jesus and if only everyone would listen to Paul then god would reveal the truth to you.

he then kind of just goes on and on about how people shouldn't disagree with him. he then calls his detractors arrogant and makes a threat.
> What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a rod of discipline, or shall I come in love and with a gentle spirit?

he then tells them that they fuck their mothers.
> 5 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. 2 And you are proud!

in 6 corinthians he threatens legal action.
> 6 If any of you has a dispute with another, do you dare to take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the Lord’s people? 2 Or do you not know that the Lord’s people will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we will judge angels?

i mean c'mon!

then he goes on and on about sex, and calls everyone sluts and disparages prostitutes (jesus was friends with one, maybe i sense some jelly) which is not what jesus would have done to prostitutes.

then he concedes that married people enjoy sex (even though he doesn't) and he'll allow for it as long as once you never ever ever divorce. then he talks about dicks and virgins for a bit.

then he starts in on how humble he is and how everyone should believe him because all he's trying to do is tell everyone the truth and he gets nothing in return! (except being made the head of a singular christian church)

after that there are a few verses where he lays out his plans for cult-style rituals based on things like the last supper.

in corinthians 1:14 he then says how he speaks for god, and how he comes with a message! and how he's the only one with that message and only he can interpret it!
the revelation? the resurrection!!

He explains how jesus went to see everyone else first and they everyone else claims he's been resurrected too, but don't believe in Cephus' faith or anyone else because i, paul, have understood the meaning behind his resurrection! (so he really does say, "hey guys, guys, i saw jesus too! he did come back! and guess what? he told me a secret!)

in corinthians 15:12 he then uses false equivalency to try and convince everyone that if they believe paul's version then they'll all ascend to heaven and live with jesus forever. he then calls all of the other apostles ignorant and shames them for not bribing followers with eternal afterlife and paradise.


apostle? prophet? or greatest troll in history?

i think after jesus died someone started a rumor that he was resurrected because his body was stolen and then the apostles started claiming they spoke to him (to aggrandize themselves) and that paul just made the same claim as not to feel left out. In fact, there might have been some real jealousy there, since he was so combative the whole way through. it's like he was all, "bullshit, you fuckers, he talked to ME and he told ME a secret!@ listen to THIS! yeah, motherfucker! paradise!" and he won the whole thing because he offered the most outrageous version and the most bestest reward.

(Edited 2 minutes later.)

squeegee double-posted this 11 years ago, 6 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #580,026

@580,015 (Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4)
tony abbott, lol. i'm aware that he makes quite a few gaffes. (i listen to a lot of NPR)

and i'm not saying jesus isn't pretty famous. but anyone who knows jesus would know joseph and mary. he's not the only person from history with that kind of recognition. I've still got my money on Genghis Khan as most famous person in history

(Edited 3 minutes later.)

Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4 replied with this 11 years ago, 13 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #580,036

@580,025 (squeegee)
LOL. Paul literally called them all mother fuckers.

Anonymous C replied with this 11 years ago, 4 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #580,037

@580,025 (squeegee)
Squeegee: hermeneutics expert.

squeegee replied with this 11 years ago, 4 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #580,040

@580,036 (Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4)
i know! he did! seriously, he could've probably been a bad ass online troll. he knows all the tricks. maybe even invented them.

!OhBrie5EHg joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 28 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #580,048

@previous (squeegee)
Oh, foolish squeegeeians!

Anonymous R joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 2 hours later, 21 hours after the original post[^] [v] #580,065

@580,040 (squeegee)

> maybe even invented them.
:

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