Minichan

am i shocked you virgins aren't interested in this thread? no.

@previous (squeegee)
I had a coworker who met a guy on tindr and went to the movies with him. She got all mad because he didnt pay for her ticket or popcorn. I told her to suck it up, because she met him on a fuck site.

How do you think a socially awkward virgin (all of minichan's userbase) would fare on the app?

@570,854 (kook !!mCVqftDha)
amateurs...

@570,854 (kook !!mCVqftDha)
LOOL

@previous (squeegee)
But seriously..

@570,855 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
i think it depends heavily on population density. if you live in a big city you'll make matches. if not it's provably harder. just think about as a site where horny people go to look and see who else is horny and nearby.

(Edited 34 seconds later.)

@previous (squeegee)
have you done vr porn yet?

i've had success with tinder
personally i prefer okcupid cause there's more chance of an actual conversation and i don't bang people i don't like talking to

@570,867 (F)
i've done watched it, if that's what you're asking.

@OP did you get your dick wet?

@previous (Xiaoqing Yan)
i'm probably going to keep using tinder

@570,866 (squeegee)
I mean, hypothetically not that I am a socially awkward virgin, but speaking for those that are, how charming/confident do you need to be? Let's say someone who has never felt the loving embrace of a woman outside of their immediate family signed up for this. How easy would it be for that theoretical person to get laid using the app assuming minimal social skills and no idea of what the process of getting laid is like? Asking for a friend.

@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
tell your friend to try this: make the Tinder headline "Socially awkward 18 year old virgin seeks first time with older experienced woman" and then change the search criteria to like 35-50. then swipe away. don't worry if you get a match, she'll take the lead

i mean tell your friend not to worry ;)

(Edited 1 minute later.)

@previous (squeegee)
Yesssssss

@570,902 (squeegee)
What if this unnamed person doesn't want to fuck someone the same age as his mother?

Edit: What if hypothetically this person is 24 not 18.

(Edited 7 minutes later.)

@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
Then your friend might end up getting laid when he's his mother's age.

@previous (I)
That seems like a pretty long ways away.

@570,908 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
Could you handle 40? That would help.

@previous (kook !!mCVqftDha)
Idk if I'd be comfortable going over like, 35. Beyond that is basically sleeping with the previous generation which is a little too weird.

@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
The older/fatter you can take will make things easier. Also not just sticking to whites.

@570,912 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
honestly we live in a world of many, many options. and people everywhere are just becoming accustomed to having a huge selection when it comes time to make a choice. i feel this carries over into the dating world by making people believe there's always another selection that might make them want to change their choice. we don't live in little villages anymore and in any given day i might see hundreds of women or more. everyone is surrounded by choices and i think that makes it hard for people to settle and remain settled. That also means dating is a numbers game as much as it is about love. love can be very one sided, but there's no arguing with the numbers game.

now i'm not saying go fuck anyone and everyone, i'm just saying the old myth that there's "one person for everyone" and that everyone meets their soul mate predestination bullshit is not a healthy way to look at dating anymore. approaching thousands of women and introducing yourself is. because it will lead to many, many good things that "waiting for the appearance of my soulmate in my life" isn't going to bring anyone.

And so like anything else it just takes practice. But, plans can help. and understand that you're not (and no one ever IS) and expert and so that means you need to work on what i'll call the fundamentals:

approach
engage
sustain
compel
close

or as i like to call it AESCC. each step builds on the last, so it's important to start with the first and work on them in order.

we'll start with approach because it's literally the hardest. So, approach is all about breaking down personal inhibitions and building confidence in yourself. Approach is nothing more than walking up to a woman and getting her attention on you. It sounds harder than it is when you're considering approaching a woman you're attracted to, but it's actually quite easy once you get the hang of it. it's also quite a LOT of fun. like going over the edge of a roller-coaster, it's the butterflies in the stomach phase of AESCC. You can easily practice approach anytime, and almost anywhere. And in fact you already do it all the time but under circumstances that don't make you feel vulnerable. ever deal with a cute sales woman or waitress? i'm sure you order just fine and can even do some small talk. Of course their side is more or less scripted, but their taking the lead by approaching YOU alleviates a lot of anxiety when dealing with people you're attracted to. what we need to DO is get you on a similar script, so that you can approach any woman, anywhere, and anytime, and engage her in conversation.

to practice approach start wherever you're comfortable. if you have very bad anxiety (problems maintaining eye contact from across the room, inability to speak to them) then start by going to the mall and working on holding eye contact and smiling and saying hello. Just walk the mall and as you do smile at everyone you make eye contact with. if they are close enough, say hello as you pass them by. don't worry about getting attention, it's all about the positive feedback you'll get as pretty women smile and say hello in passing. people are generally not going to flip you off if you smile and say hello. usually they'll just smile back and maybe acknowledge you spoke to them. sometimes you'll get a lovely smile and a hearty hello that'll make you feel bold. but eventually you'll have to step it up and approach women for conversation.

the big problem i think for a lot of people is "when is it appropriate" to approach a woman for personal conversation? i used to hate the idea of flirting with a captive audience, like a good looking sales girl, or even approach women at the mall to see if they might be interested. it's like, they aren't here to meet me, they are here to work out at the gym and will look down at me if i express interest in them. forget all that bullshit, none of that shit fucking matters. remember, all that matters is numbers. and to hit those numbers, you've got to pretend you're about to walk right past them and smile and say hello, but instead don't walk past, stop and engage them. it's as simple as that.

Walk up to them, smile, and say hello. that's it. start small, start big, do whatever you have to do to get to the point where you can do that, anywhere, anytime. even if you're afraid or think you'll be embarrassed. sack up and do it. there are no consequences for this. only reward.

once you've mastered Approach you can proceed to lesson 2: Engage

(Edited 5 minutes later.)

once you've mastered the basics of approach (the smile and say hello) it's time to work on stopping and engaging them. This isn't really all that difficult, because it mostly amounts to small talk. small talk with women is literally the easiest thing in the world, just ask their opinion on something. like, for real. the only hard part is identifying like what opinions to ask them about. that is largely going to be dependent on the environment or like the circumstances of your meeting, so you'll just kinda have to wing it. but i can give a couple of examples and give you a scenario or two you can place yourself into to practice Engaging a woman in conversation.

So since you're already maybe at the mall saying hello to good looking women and having them smile at you and your charming grin and self confidence, i'll give you something else you can do there. so of course you can start by doing this with sales girls, but it's best to do this with other customers.

Pick a store that has the men's and women's sections kinda close to the other, don't bother doing this at department stores where you have to go to the women's floor to approach a woman. just go to Gap or some shit and grab like some random things, whatever, shirts and pants. doesn't matter. then find a girl you're attracted to and begin the approach.

get her attention, make eye contact, smile and say hello. then say this, "can i ask your opinion on this real quick?"

i swear to god you'll never, ever, ever get a "no." you might get a "suuuuuuure" in an unsure tone, but that's what the armfull of shirts is going to distract them from, because you're going to then ask them to help you pick out a couple of items. set it up however you feel most comfortable. saying something along the lines of, "i'm going out tonight on a first date and i really want to look put-together." this is good for a variety of reasons, you're being disarming because you're implying you're not approaching her for sleezy flirting but instead have your sleeze set on another girl. for yourself, that might make you feel more comfortable with the whole engagement since you're apparently "uninterested" in them for anything but a style opinion. but it also let's them know you're single and not in a relationship which might could reward you with her interest. maybe. don't expect it, just kinda expect style help. but you never know, you might get fucked in a dressing room by asking a chick if a shirt makes your eyes pop. but you'll certainly be building up a load of good experiences that didn't end with rejection and loneliness and all of that begins to get expressed in your confidence and approaching them and engaging them becomes easier and easier. in fact, you'll start to seek it out actively every opportunity you get because it feels great to have a good looking gal smile at you and say a shirt makes your eyes pretty. fuck yeah

before you know it you'll be strutting around pointing at chicks and smiling and winking and not giving a fuck how they react and all your friends will wonder how in the fuck you got so much swagger. and the women will certainly notice the most confident dude in the room. and if they don't, you'll make sure of it.

here's another one. take those shirts and walk up to a smoking hottie with zero fucking pretense. make eye contact, smile at her and say, "if i walked up to you and introduced myself, which shirt would impress you more, the one that makes me look fun, or the one that makes me look sophisticated? She will smile, she will laugh, but not AT you, you'll have made HER the nervous one with your confidence. she'll certainly help you pick one or the other. Then ask her, "do you know where the dressing room it?" then fucking go put that shirt on and walk back up to her and tell her your fucking name with a big fucking shit eating grin on your face. but, of course that's getting into like pick-up line territory and thats not the goal here.

So Engage is all about stopping once you've approached them and simply holding their attention rather than just attracting it. practice this everywhere too. waiting in line, smile, say hello, just strike up a conversation and build up that confidence by filling your days with small talk and beautiful women. Eventually you'll get very good at this and very comfortable at this and you'll be striking up small talk all the time. You'll be at the amusement park or somewhere and you'll be walking along in a crowd and a smoking hot chick will end up walking along side you and you'll smile and say hello and ask her if she's heading to such-and-so-ride and they'll say the ferris wheel or something and you'll get all her hot friends attention and you'll suddenly be the one dude who's standing there chatting up a whole group of lovely young ladies and convincing them they should hang out with you. you friends won't believe their eyes. to them, you'll be walking into a lions den smothered in meat, and you won't give a fuck because you'll have the confidence to know how to have a good time, anywhere, with anyone.

once you're "that guy" who can just walk up to a girl and start talking to her it's time to start working on how to sustain her interst. that's lesson 3

(Edited 7 minutes later.)

a quick note

i'm not trying to be condescending by saying the key to success is "duh, talk to girls, duh" because no one is a born ladies man, it's a skill like anything else and can be practiced. the take away from this is to identify what part of "duh, talk to girls, duh" difficult to do effortlessly and begin practicing that interaction as much as possible in order to gain proficiency and confidence. Small talk is hard for a lot of folks, as is just saying hi. find your trouble spot and work towards eliminating anxiety surrounding that interaction. everyone should try to get to a point where rejection isn't devastating and that starts by eliminating the fear of rejection or whatever prevents a person from taking whatever step it takes to eventually "close the deal."

It's like doing public speaking. 90% of people just suck at it, but putting yourself out there and exuding confidence despite whatever reservations you may have is totally something that can be practiced to the point that it is natural and effortless and genuine and people are totally attracted to the kinds of qualities that come simply from confidence.

so take all this with a grain of salt, but learning how to put yourself out there is key. and you also have to learn how not to let your failures have an impact on your behavior. "if a bitch don't like you, fuck that bitch, she's probably all looks anyway." but that's also something that comes with confidence. it's like a callous actually. the more comfortable you are with it all the more you'll do it and you'll totally face more rejection than you ever thought you could tolerate, but you won't care because you'll know that in the end the rejections do not matter one bit. they are entirely 100% irrelevant, but, you do have to build up that rejection callous and the only way to do that is to be rejected, and that can only happen if you're out there allowing yourself to be confidently vulnerable.

Sustain is a little harder to practice, because it does kind of rely on their level of interest in you. you ever have someone strike up an awkward conversation with you and you just kinda want to ignore them so you don't really engage them in any way? just kinda like, "uh huh, yeah," looks away
well it's hard to sustain a conversation with someone if they genuinely aren't interested. and it's fine if they aren't. you're not always, of course not. so you've smiled and said hello and have stopped in front of her and are making polite small talk. but she's not really interested and you pick up on cues she wants to end the conversation. That's great! that's a nice little rejection. something you can walk away from and not feel devastated, but it certainly adds to the callous which ultimately is a good thing. it's also an opportunity to work on "new material" for conversation as well. If it's going bad, who cares if it craters. ask that bitch if she like fallout games and arguing on internet forums. who cares if she scoffs. maybe she'll fall madly in love with this man who does furry LARP. take a risk.

so Sustain is the part of AESCC that is like something you can work on at home too. sustaining a conversation is about being interesting, and so it's a good idea to try and have interesting anecdotes or know some jokes or even just be knowledgeable about a few subjects. the real secret of sustaining a conversation is actually the same as engaging them.

It is totally true that asking a girl to talk about herself is a sure fire way to sustain a conversation forever. if you can't think of anything to say, just ask them to tell you about themselves or their interest. being interesting is also the art of listening and paying attention to what other people are interested in talking about. it doesn't matter if you don't give a fuck or are bored, it's about making the other person enjoy talking to you. If they like talking to you, the conversation sustains itself. to be interesting, act interested. simple.

ask questions, make good conversation about their interests. If they are interested in yours, they'll let you know (as a good conversationalist should). but never assume they want to discuss [pet discussion] even a little bit. mention it, "oh, i go to a card game on Thursday nights," is a fine thing to say when you're getting to know someone. Detailing your online poker "career" or MTG playstyle isn't good conversation unless pressed for details. it's better to say, "Oh, i go to a card game on Thursday nights, do you have a favorite hobby?" as a way to redirect the conversation. Thing is most people will dominate a conversation given half a chance, and they'll love you for it. "Oh you're such a good listener," or, "you're so interesting to talk to (my favorite)" even though they do all the talking. and girls that ARE good conversationalist and who know a good conversation is full of questions and back-and-forth will fucking appreciate the fuck out of the fact that you didn't sit there and talk about your work achievements for 2 hours or whatever the fuck else desperate people do trying to impress disinterested women.

So again, practice this whenever you can. walk up and say hi, engage them in conversation, and work on being an interesting conversationalist who can sustain holding their attention. that naturally leads into step 4, compel them to want to sustain the conversation for you. easily the easiest (albeit cheesiest) part of picking up banging broads.

(Edited 7 minutes later.)

You approach with confidence, you engage in an introduction, you sustain her interest. that's practically a home run, cowboy. you've just got to round third and slide into home.
if you've made it this far you're on your way to working on compelling her interest in you. if you haven't really been flirting, now's the time to start working on that. compliments are a great thing to try, because the best compliments are always subtle. never go for the obvious shit. "you've got beautiful [noun]" or "oh you're so [adjective]"

instead tell them how they are making you feel. like honesty is the best flirtation. when she smiles, tell her, "every time you smile it makes me feel like i'm floating" and just let her blush and ooze a puddle on the floor. don't tell a girl what you think, tell a girl how you feel. you know, like don't say, "you smell nice," say, "your perfume reminds me of something that makes me feel happy, i don't know what, but i'm glad they bottled it." i actually used that as a pickup line at a best buy, she was looking at music and i was walking by and i smelled happy, and so i stopped and basically got her attention and said that to her verbatim. it earned me a phone number and one hell of a cute blushing giggle. chicks dig feelings way more than words, do express them.

Bars. Are. AWESOME to practice this part. drunk girls are way more receptive to everything and cheesy pickup lines and overly wrought compliments aren't nearly as penalized. so you can work on a repertoire of subtle compliments and flirtations in an environment where it's totally to be expected. getting shot down while drunk at a bar isn't the same as being shot down at a gas station by a cute chick you've been talking to at the pump who you think is engaged and interested in you. that can be a little more demoralizing especially since good quality AESCC exchanges don't happen literally with every approach. especially in the wild and not in a meat market where Compelling is to be expected. so it's a great way to practice overt flirting with much less anxiety and more confidence. especially if you've already mastered the approach, the engagement, and can sustain a conversation with any woman, anywhere already.

but, of course never, ever skip this step, even in the wild and it doesn't look 100%. you must give them a compelling reason to sustain an engagement with you, and that reason should be an expression of intimate interest. so work on being bold at this point and let your feeling be known!

that's pretty much it for lesson 4. "tell a girl how she makes you feel"

(Edited 1 minute later.)

always be closing

fucking... get this part right. always be closing. once you've got the confidence to follow through with all of the steps work them all briskly. girls should not be confused by your intentions, especially if she is receptive to the AESCC exchange with you. now i'm not saying find some hot chick and walk up and tap her on the shoulder and say, "duh, your voice makes me feel all tingly and funny inside," but what i am saying is to be mindful of which step you're on and to always be working towards the next step.

for example: i was walking down the street and two girls were headed my way, and one of them said, "damn, he's good looking" (which this almost never, ever happens to me. probably most guys can count on one hand the number of times they've overheard girls say something like that, but eventually you'll overhear someone say they think you're cute and when it happens fucking capitalize on it)

I heard her say that and i skipped straight to closing. i looked at her as i walked by and said, "we'd make a cute couple," and winked as i walked by. she stopped and i kinda turned around and said, "i'm not just good looking, but i've got great hearing too," and they both laughed. i just stood there smiling and waited for her to AESCC ME, but her friend drug her away to the car laughing and said, "no, Sarah, you have a boyfriend" or some such irrelevant shit. but sarah just kept looking back at me and i just stood there smiling and watching them leave as if i couldn't tear myself from eye contact. i don't know what happened to that girl, but it was a pretty good close even if it didn't succeed.

Ask for that number. Tell them you want to see them again. invite them out for coffee. ask them if they want to fuck. whatever. always be closing.

get comfortable with the approach, be prepared to engage them, work to sustain their attention, find ways to compel their interest, be willful with your intentions and always be closing.

so, really the important thing to take-away here is to have a plan, right? everything is easier with practice and planning helps make practice meaningful. but more than anything what will make you the most successful is learning how to be confident and lose anxiety and inhibitions that prevent people from building intimate relationships. i know it may sound stupid to "practice" not being shy with women, but very god damned seriously once you get over the "how do i approach them" simply by walking the fuck over and doing it you'll be less than months away from a relationship that'll probably get you laid. putting yourself out there can be fucking hard, especially if you don't have a large group of friends to lean on to circulate new people into and out of your circle (a very, very common way of dating) and you have to put yourself out there alone. but if you get out there and challenge yourself to improve and work on sharpening learnable "dating skills" then you'll be attracting pussy like you're a million dollar bill.

AESCC, bitches. challenge yourself to embrace confidence. own it, be it, fucking do it. what's the worst that can happen, some random chick might not like you? sitting around not approaching any girls is accomplishing that already. anything you do can only improve your situation. even if they are cold and rude and shit on your feeling and try to ruin your confidence - that's making you a better person. every rejection acclimates you to it and soon the rejections don't even matter. they've made you stronger, and that'll for real make you more confident with every new hottie you want to chat up but used to be too big a pussy to ever even consider holding eye contact with. so fucking hike up your nutsack and force yourself to every day seek out a woman you find attractive and you go and you say hello and you smile at her and introduce yourself. pretty much let nature do the rest.

(Edited 23 seconds later.)

I herd its $20+ a month if you are a male and over 28. Cheaper if you are younger, and cheaper for females. Fuck that

@previous (J)
all tinder does is replace walking around and approaching women with an app. you can do the same thing in person, but have better odds at a relationship than just a one night stand.
walking up and actually just talking to women is better than flagging their pic any day. unless you just want to fuck, tinder is good for finding people with that common interest at least.

probably not worth paying for since you'll likely pay for using it in other ways...

(Edited 21 seconds later.)

@previous (squeegee)
I already internet date, as well as complementing random hotties I meet and chat with. Prostitution is legal here, and if it had an app it would be tinder but with less chatting and more price negotiations, otherwise exactly the same.

@570,952 (squeegee)
awww squeegee 10/10 effort

wow it turns out tinder is unnecessary i went to a gay club high as all get out and could've hooked up with this dude if i left my friends

@570,987 (J)
nice. the advice i gave was more for folks who find it difficult to "make the first move." it can be embarassing, cause anxiety, and can make you feel pathetic. it can be a self defeating proposition talking to someone you're attracted to.

breaking down those inhibitions is hard to do and being diliberate can help people be bold. but if you're cool with all that then that's great, you probably don't worry too much about being alone or meeting someone.

@Squeegee
thoughts??

@570,912 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
Mid to late 30s is a pretty good age period, in my experience.

@571,071 (dw)
that's right