Anonymous A started this discussion 15 years ago#3,978
I used to be constantly anxious. Everything I did had to go through my head a million times before I would even consider doing it. I could never let myself down - I'd built up this fantasy world inside my head where I was better than everyone and no one was worth my time. But then I went crazy - I couldn't keep up this idyllic image of myself as a goddess. So I smoked a bowl.
Calm. No more anxiety. I could speak freely without analyzing my thoughts a thousand times to make sure everything was alright. Then I started mixing weed and benzodiazepines - I got to a place where nothing mattered anymore but myself and my needs, and my moods at that point were perfection. I mix weed and klonopin just about every day, and I've never felt happier, freer, and more accomplished in my life. Everything is possible, I don't worry myself to death every second about what people think of me.
If you were like me - anxious and driving yourself crazy - smoke a bowl and get ahold of some Valium or kpins. You will not regret it. And you have not felt true bliss until you've danced and made out and had a conversation on MDMA.
Lawrence !9p5vCatBBQ joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 5 minutes later[^][v]#71,520
> And you have not felt true bliss until you've danced and made out and had a conversation on MDMA.
Yes. I agree that it's certainly something everyone needs to experience at least once in their lives.
But I wouldn't necessarily say "drugs are good", because they aren't. Yeah, for some people like you who are constantly anxious, cannabis + prescription drugs can really help out momentarily, but I wouldn't really want to depend on it for the rest of your life or anything. If you let it get out of control, it may get very ugly.
(Edited 6 minutes later.)
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 39 seconds later, 5 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,521
Well its good to know you like to get fucked up on drugs.
psychopath !PAHVpsycho joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 8 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,523
Drugs are for niggers.
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 5 minutes later, 14 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,528
OP, you and the girls of your family were always ticking time bombs. I should have seen this coming. I mean... I used to be an uptight neurotic fuckwad myself (you'd know, you were there), but I didn't need any drugs to loosen up.
(Edited 50 seconds later.)
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 17 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,529
No, you still are. I tried loosening up without drugs. You can't completely change your mindset at the drop of the hat. Sometimes you need some help in the form of some green.
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 19 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,532
You're bringing up old bad blood. I'm not going to be my usual self. If being "laid back" meant being like you make yourself sound now, then I never wanted to be your version of "laid back" and we really were never meant to be.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 21 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,533
The only downside to mixing weed and klonopin a lot is that my memory has gone to shit. That's not completely true, but it used to be nearly perfect. My recall ability isn't as awesome as it once was.
But I honestly don't give a shit about intellectual prowess anymore. It's all about living in the moment.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 23 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,535
Eww, there's nasty brown bong water type shit in the bottom of my bubbler. :(
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 20 seconds later, 23 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,536
@71,533 (A)
Hahahaha. So you and I might actually be tied now in memory.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 9 minutes later, 33 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,541
For some reason my go-to munchies food is always muffins.
The Owl !Ln5bimouKo joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 34 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,543
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 6 minutes later, 42 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,559
Anon A, you may not know me but I know Misanthrope.
As soon as I noticed the whole "I'd built up this fantasy world inside my head where I was better than everyone and no one was worth my time." I figured you might be making all this up, but just in case:
You are a mutant nord. You won't ever escape being a judgmental, over analytical, holier than thou basket case.
Drown it in pot and MDMA, but you will ruin your life and go to jail. Then you'll cry yourself to sleep every night until you die of suicide.
Misanthrope was the worst mutant nord and biggest douche I've ever known, but he has changed himself in a better way than you ever thought possible. And all he needed was emo music, getting dumped and a shitload of caffeine to unfuck his brain.
He is better than you and you'll know it when you're reading about him from the drug rehab center.
Nimj joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 35 seconds later, 42 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,561
Suck two dicks, OP. I don't give a fuck
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 44 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,563
@71,547 (A)
No, it's just interesting because before there was a disparity, and combined with me working on memory shit and you drugging yourself into intellectual torpor we might now be even. Some day you'll be braindead and I'll be as good as you once were. Hell, I'm getting my crap in order. I'm not even trying to troll, but I'm genuinely starting to show promise of turning out like your dad.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Anonymous I joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 26 seconds later, 44 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,564
Whatttt... My dad, the 60 yo unemployed drag queen who just got over prostate cancer and has Asperger's syndrome as well as multiple sclerosis, Klinefelter's and chronic high blood pressure issues? Well if that's what you really want...
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 50 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,567
Blueberry! But I went into the kitchen and saw 3 Luna bars so I took those instead. And my mom also baked some bomb ass cake.
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 16 seconds later, 50 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,568
@71,566 (A)
Yeah, but he was a badass. He owned a successful business and used to have all kinds of admirable traits. If you don't think he's hot stuff anymore, I guess I'm going to be better than him. I don't really care to compete with him though, he did genuinely seem like a good guy.
You ever think that maybe you were so anxious that you needed drugs because you inherited your mother's genetics? She's always been strung way too tight from what I understand. Maybe the problems in your life are all her fault, as usual.
Anonymous B replied with this 15 years ago, 37 seconds later, 50 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,569
> the 60 yo unemployed drag queen who just got over prostate cancer and has Asperger's syndrome as well as multiple sclerosis, Klinefelter's and chronic high blood pressure issues.
Lol.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 42 seconds later, 51 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,570
What I love the most about weed and klonopin is the body high I always get from it. I get these tingles, kinda like the tingles you get from MDMA.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 54 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,574
I love my dad. He smokes weed fairly often and loves his codeine. :)
What do you know about my mom that would make you say that? It's almost like you're trying to upset me. I understand your bitterness but you need to understand, I'm in a better place right now and your existence is nothing to me anymore. I only ever bugged you when I was drunk or stoned or both or a little something else, out of boredom. Hate to break it to you.
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 57 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,583
Anonymous G replied with this 15 years ago, 4 seconds later, 57 minutes after the original post[^][v]#71,584
@71,565 (A)
Call me Defendu/Carjack/invictus14 if you need to call me something.
I abandoned Raptor because it's associated with a bunch of unfunny tedious shit and doesn't represent who I am (although you probably assumed it does because you're as much an asshole even today as Misanthrope was then).
And Plutus is gone forevar.
Mark my words, you'll be a fucking failure of a human.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#71,600
Not at all, just making out. I've only slept with four people. Classy girls don't give it up easy. Unless they're drunk.
Anonymous G replied with this 15 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#71,613
The funny thing about all this is Anon A tried so hard to hurt Misanthrope with all the phone calls and shit talk and going here with fairy tales of her druggie boyfriends.
While all that happened, MM got incredibly strong and lean, set himself up for a new career, dropped the psychology bullshit and attitude, and also gained all the mental abilities Anon A is losing to drugs.
You, being a vindictive nord of inferior genetics, always worrying about stupid nord shit with only mind altering drugs as a release, have destroyed yourself and made him stronger. You did what even my training couldn't do in a million years.
Anonymous K joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 31 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#71,614
what the fuck is going on in this thread...
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#71,623
Mind altering drugs are the only release, and you don't do anything except sit on the Internet and post holocaust arguments on gaia online.I feel happier right now than you ever have, look how angry and bitter you are.
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#71,628
@previous (A)
Oh definitely. That's exactly how I spend my time. You win.
Seriously, I'm not even home most of the time much less rotting on the internet, trying to explain shit to fags who aren't biologically equipped to understand it. You really think I haven't managed to evolve in a year?
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Anonymous B replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#71,631
@71,614 (K)
Seems like OP, Anon G, and MM all know each other. Other than that, I don't even know man. I don't even know.
Anonymous G replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#71,636
@71,623 (A)
Do nothing but post holocaust arguments on Gaia?
Not like ANYTHING could have changed in my life since 2009.
Not like I said I abandoned that identity centuries ago.
The drugs aren't doing shit to help you. You're always going to be a mutant nord because your genetics suck.
I have true friends, I have a virgin girlfriend who wants to marry me (we're both in our 20s) and I never ever get depressed.
What do you have? Artificial highs? A future in a drug rehab center?
Months to spend trying to harass your ex boyfriends?
(Edited 44 seconds later.)
Baby Doll joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#71,637
I've been following these threads and I think it's very sad what is going on here.
OP you explained why you like drugs so much but I don't understand why you hang out with guys who do drugs and don't seem very nice in general. Do your parents know about these parties, drug use and your boyfriends?
Do you know that condoms don't protect you from papilloma viruses and herpes?
I don't understand why you want to have sex with these guys. I know many guys who are attractive, have a healthy lifestyle and treat other people with respect. You will definitely meet guys like that too. You just have to be patient.
Anonymous M joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 15 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#71,638
Dude said it to himself before, I just like to play around. I don't care about him. I just love fucking with people, gives me a rush. Must be because I have daddy issues and I am A MUTANT NORD.
Anonymous N joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 20 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#71,639
Oh wow, you guys are worse than TCO's friends.
Mutant Nord !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#71,642
Hey everybody, you're all going down, you failures! I'm on the way up in life and don't need you, because I'm on DRUGS!
Anonymous M replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#71,643
too much care. Calm down everyone let's all sit down in a circle, hold hands and take a breath and think about the pleasantries of life and not how some people are "mutant"...
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,660
@previous (M)
I think of the pleasantries in life all the time. In fact, I'm fucking jolly these days because I'm not hung up on notions of a distant academic future on a ten year time scale. I dick around and get in trouble a lot. I'd even tell a tale or two of my exploits, but I'm not confident you'd enjoy it.
However, when it comes to the question of what's best in life, we obviously have different opinions.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Anonymous G replied with this 15 years ago, 6 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,661
I like ponies.
Anonymous I replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,663
Hi-C was the shit.
Anonymous M replied with this 15 years ago, 59 seconds later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,664
You just say everything in such a weird, convoluted way. It's like you truly want to say one thing, but you don't want to on the surface, so you're writing halfheartedly about some random bullshit instead. So much effort behind each word, trying to build some facade of perfection.
You said these exact same things last year in the exact same tone, just a different story.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,672
(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
Yah it's really embarrassing. I see it as the dark point in my life.
(Edited 17 seconds later.)
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,674
@71,671 (A)
What the shit. If I speak plainly, you call me a hick. If I use academic fagspeak, you call me pretentious. There's no winning with you, there never was.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,675
Huh? Why are you so upset? We didn't even really go out...how can you care so much?
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,678
@previous (A)
We talked 24/7 for a year. I won't lie, I was attached. I know you were too once, but I also know everything is over now. I know you aren't who I thought you were but it still hurt to let go. You never really did understand how attached and committed I was. I wasn't desperate, I didn't spend time with you because you were all I could get, I could easily have gone for someone local. I just liked you a lot. It all just felt so good and right for a while, when it all ended I guess I spent a long time turning everything over in my head, just wondering about everything. I don't know, I thought it was natural. One of these days, I want you to drive 1,200 miles out of your way in 14 hours or less, just to see what it feels like, just to get an idea of how crazy about you I used to be.
(Edited 6 minutes later.)
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 10 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,684
A year is definitely an exaggeration. Sorry I never cared, that probably sucks man.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 15 years ago, 10 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,694
(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
Popular? O.o
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 48 seconds later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,695
@71,684 (A)
I know. I should have listened to my friends and family, everyone around me tried to warn me that you had a heart of ice. I see that they were right. You rich bitch, you hipster vermin, you grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth and will never see or appreciate when someone bends over backwards to show you that they love you. To you, they're just being stupid, unless they stop doing whatever it is - then you think you deserve better.
You don't deserve all I did for you, or all I used to be willing to do for you at the drop of a hat. You never will, and you'll never understand it either. You take advantage of kindness, you break hearts as casually and easily as I open the mail, and you not only don't care, but you're fucking proud of it, as if the ability to be a jaded icy bitch makes you better than those of us in the world who have standards and want their lives to be full of kindness and hope, better than those of us who want to live passionately for ideals better than short term self interest. I gave you fine wine and you bitched at me because I didn't use the money to buy you 80 gallons of piss beer instead. I know you don't believe in religion, but I'm going to go right into the center of one of those big kickass mormon temples that you'll never get married in just to pray that you never have a chance with a guy as dedicated as me ever again in the duration of your miserable existence.
I hope there is a hell, and I hope you overdose and find it.
(Edited 7 minutes later.)
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 10 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,699
yeaaaaah uh uh uh you know what it isssss
errything I do I do it big
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,700
black n yellow black n yellow black n yellow black n yellowwwww
Anonymous B replied with this 15 years ago, 35 seconds later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,701
Anonymous G replied with this 15 years ago, 5 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,708
@71,700 (A)
wow. you were easier to troal than I thought
I take it you don't like to do it the pony way.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 23 seconds later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,709
s t u p i d
When we go to the club we don't need ID
Errywhere we go it's a party y'all
We gon get it crackin like the mardi gras
Get stupid get stupid get stupid get stupid
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 15 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,714
Do the get stupid, come fuck with Drizzle
Call the hospital, he's havin convulsions
No he's gettin stupid, in his load yokin.
Anonymous G replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,717
@previous (A)
I think your loverboy has left forevar.
Now it's just you, me and the ponies.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 6 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,719
totoforhire !!Phkn/3Gic joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 10 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,724
How did Mister Misanthrope manage to hook up with an inferior specimen?
Anonymous Q joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,726
I've always been astounded at how many seemingly rational people will take such anti-drug stances.
A very liberal, educated person I know is not just anti-drug, but insists that they cannot hang out with anyone who smokes marijuana. Irony here is that they also drink occasionally.
Falco !PZmcClOUDk joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 57 seconds later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,728
Benzos are prescription medicines, and people die from them even when they take them as prescribed. No one has ever OD'd on MJ.
Anonymous T joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 4 hours later, 8 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,979
@previous (Q)
Marijuana has been proven to cause mental problems in the long run like paranoia, schizophrenia, short term memory loss and decreased refelxes (in the long run, of course, but it still is NOT healthy, don't be a dumb fuck.)
Falco !PZmcClOUDk replied with this 15 years ago, 10 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,996
@71,733 (Q)
That's a lie. I've knew a guy who overdosed on Michael Jordan 3 times. He'll never be the same again because he's black now.
Falco !PZmcClOUDk double-posted this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 8 hours after the original post[^][v]#71,997
I feel hella bad because when I read this, I started laughing about halfway through and had to show my friend and she was like hahahahaHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT GUY IS INSANE
You are sooooo crazzzzyyyyy aaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha