Minichan

Topic: My new girlfriend swears she is a virgin.

Anonymous A started this discussion 11 years ago #38,814

She is generally an honest, truthtelling person, very sweet, very kind, and she seems to really like me. But, to be honest, her vagina is very, very loose, like, I could probably fit my whole fist in there with no trouble. She swears she is a virgin, but I am not sure what to believe. What should I do?

Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 8 minutes later[^] [v] #517,395

Check her medical records. If she has ever given birth or had an abortion, she's lying.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 5 minutes later, 13 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #517,398

@previous (B)
lol how the hell can I check her medical records?

Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 9 seconds later, 14 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #517,399

try squeezing those little stress relief balls alot, she should tighten up if your diligent with your exercises

Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 3 minutes later, 17 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #517,401

From the title, I thought this was going to be a Postmortem thread. But reading it, it appears to be a Matt doing some of his schtick, the same one he did years ago.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 1 minute later, 19 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #517,403

@previous (D)
Not a schtick. Get over your schtick obsession. I really need to know about this.

Anonymous D replied with this 11 years ago, 9 minutes later, 29 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #517,408

@previous (A)

I searched and the shtick was http://www.scatchan.net/topic/17438 http://www.scatchan.net/topic/38016 http://www.scatchan.net/topic/37260 http://www.scatchan.net/topic/36172
So this is new.


I will answer. What it depends on is... Are you a virgin?

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 2 minutes later, 31 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #517,409

@previous (D)
No, I am not a virgin.

Anonymous D replied with this 11 years ago, 49 seconds later, 32 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #517,410

@previous (A)


Not exactly. There's no real consistency to Indy's logic. His relationship with his girlfriend for example is a textbook example of the Madonna/Whore complex. He's asserted that she must remain a virgin until she's with him, no matter what, or "her life will be ruined." Asked to specify he only says "It just will, it's obvious." as with all of his other nonsense beliefs. Simultaneously, he thinks it's okay for him to have sex with anyone else, cyber with them, whatever because "Well for some people they need to wait until marriage, and others can have sex whenever they want."

Now, there's sort of a chicken/egg thing from here on, is he a failure because as he claims he wants to be and it's all part of his plan, or does he claim he wants to be a failure because he is and he wants to justify it?

He was in some special ed classes, but claims he was never diagnosed with anything. He says all through school he was actively trying to flunk, that he repeatedly banged his head against walls in an effort to become dumber. His stated goals included:

-Never graduate from college (he did, through social promotion)
-Never hold a job (some have argued he has, as his parents have in the past paid him for things, but he's never had a real one)
-Become French
-Marry his current girlfriend, who despises him and has repeatedly stated she's not a virgin anymore and has dated numerous other people and supposedly has a restraining order against him.

He's claimed he wants to be dumb because the dumb character on sitcoms is always the most lovable.

He's obsessed with asses and feces, and notably jerks off with his shit and then simply wipes off the combination on his walls, much to his family's frustration.

He hates vaginas, part of his obsession with little girls stems from a claim that "vaginas open and get all gross at puberty." He once drew a crude image and posted it here to try to explain.

He claims to have a fear that he'll be attacked in the bathroom, and so refuses to ever bathe or clean himself. He claims he's not done more than wash his hair in over 8 years.

And most notably, he claimed to have molested his littler cousin, convincing her it would be fun to eat his ass and suck him off.

He's also tried to "romance" his girlfriend by assuring her he'd be a househusband and provide her good advice while she worked, and he'd get her pregnant so he could teach their children all about anal and oral sex, and he's told her numerously of his intentions to rape her ass while she sleeps or shits.

Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 3 hours later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #517,420

@previous (D)
Ok, syntax.

r04r joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 4 hours later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #517,484

Matt Shtick
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