Topic: How to win a fight.
Anonymous A started this discussion 15 years ago #3,726
There is a very real chance that I will be in a fight tomorrow. Anybody have much experience; know where to kick/punch or any tips?
The Editor !FuckWtfW8M joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later[^] [v] #67,614
Boot to the head.
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 18 seconds later, 2 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #67,615
Rule #1 of steetfighting is there are no rules.
Go for the balls/eyes and drop him before he drops you. Also make sure he doesn't have a weapon, or if he does, make sure you have a better one.
Go for the balls/eyes and drop him before he drops you. Also make sure he doesn't have a weapon, or if he does, make sure you have a better one.
Nega !34Kas0OdzM joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #67,616
Don't fight fair.
Go for the eyes/groin/neck/nose.
There are pain points behind the ears.
Don't fight fair.
Try to get the person to the ground.
Open-palmed strike against the chest is a good tool for unbalancing your opponent if they aren't trained.
Don't fight fair.
A strike against the windpipe can be lethal if you manage to shatter it.
Last but not least: Don't fight fair.
Go for the eyes/groin/neck/nose.
There are pain points behind the ears.
Don't fight fair.
Try to get the person to the ground.
Open-palmed strike against the chest is a good tool for unbalancing your opponent if they aren't trained.
Don't fight fair.
A strike against the windpipe can be lethal if you manage to shatter it.
Last but not least: Don't fight fair.
Nega !34Kas0OdzM double-posted this 15 years ago, 25 seconds later, 3 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #67,618
Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 5 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #67,621
Carry a brick in your purse.Anonymous E double-posted this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 9 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #67,623
Also wear steel-toed boots.The Editor !FuckWtfW8M replied with this 15 years ago, 6 seconds later, 9 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #67,625
@67,618 (Nega !34Kas0OdzM)
Now what good is putting a boot on his opponent's head going to do him in a fight?
Now what good is putting a boot on his opponent's head going to do him in a fight?
stickybuns !bENfolDsOU joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 41 seconds later, 9 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #67,627
Carry an AK-47.
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 second later, 9 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #67,628
If your education to date has not included getting into peak physical condition and becoming a huge badass, there is nothing you can learn in the next 24 hours that will significantly raise your chances. That's the unpolished truth.
I am able to help you, but I'd need a lot of convincing that I should.
I am able to help you, but I'd need a lot of convincing that I should.
Triptych !!DP4/G/5A6 joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 37 minutes later, 47 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #67,644
Watch their chest. That'll tell you where they're going.
Steel toed boots. Tie them tightly.
Be fucking fast.
Go for the groin or the tits.
Steel toed boots. Tie them tightly.
Be fucking fast.
Go for the groin or the tits.
Anonymous I joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 48 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #67,646
punch him in the face as hard as you can
Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 12 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #67,655
!!!!!!!!!
Alright, listen up here. Imagine you're holding a ball...okay good.
Now, replace that ball with your bully's face.
Make sure your thumbs are on both of his eye balls.
Okay now push as hard as you can. Push till the eye balls are in your hand.
Mission accomplished ~
Alright, listen up here. Imagine you're holding a ball...okay good.
Now, replace that ball with your bully's face.
Make sure your thumbs are on both of his eye balls.
Okay now push as hard as you can. Push till the eye balls are in your hand.
Mission accomplished ~
Namj joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #67,660
Anonymous J replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #67,665
Anonymous L joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 46 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #67,709
Why you wanna fight foar?
Anonymous M joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 27 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,719
1) Don't go. It works.
2) If you go, don't fight fair. Bring a brick/pipe/stick/whatever
2) If you go, don't fight fair. Bring a brick/pipe/stick/whatever
Anonymous N joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 11 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,732
An untrained fighter fights worse when they are angry. Your first few hits should aim to piss him off. Go like you ar going to punch, then backhand them. After they start throwing wild punches, knee em in the balls, then back away. Showing restraint will either intimidate them or piss them off. Block with the insides of your forearms, you have more meat there and won't hurt your arms. Also, battlecries in this day are so bizarre, you might confuse them. Just yell something fucked up like or in some odd language, just yelling won't work. I got in a fight once, yelled "Faugh an Bealach", and the guy stopped dead, dropped his guard and said what the fuuuuck~ because by then I had kneed him and then jumped back. He got up and walked away, clutching his balls.
Anonymous F replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,735
The Owl !yshAAUvyds joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 30 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,752
Simply jump into the air in slo-motion and make the actual punch go faster than life
Just like in 300
Just like in 300
Lawrence !9p5vCatBBQ joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 30 seconds later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,755
Murder your opponent in his sleep tonight.
Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 9 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,761
@OP
With the exception of Nega (and Ninjj) do not follow the advice of anyone in this thread, myself excluded. Two things: you are asking for fighting tips 24 hours prior on a CHAN. Also you have not mentioned your opponent.
I think it is your best bet to run away or find a way not to fight. You have little chance of success.
With the exception of Nega (and Ninjj) do not follow the advice of anyone in this thread, myself excluded. Two things: you are asking for fighting tips 24 hours prior on a CHAN. Also you have not mentioned your opponent.
I think it is your best bet to run away or find a way not to fight. You have little chance of success.
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 19 seconds later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,762
I'm laughing really hard at this whole thread because unbeknownst to all the internet hardasses here, there actually is a move they figured out during the world wars that takes minimal skill to use and can easily incapacitate, permanently injure or kill somebody with about 6 hours' practice. If OP started practicing know, he would stand a shot at __ _ his opponent into oblivion, just like _____ taught to troops during WWII. Back then, they often had a very limited time to teach anyone to fight before sending them off to be cannon fodder, so this single move and a handful of accessory techniques, all broadly applicable to almost any situation and applicable on split second notice, was about all they taught them.
I guess this is the curse of the information age, anybody who actually knows any real shit is just one of many hundreds of yapping voices all claiming to know something worth teaching.
If somebody can guess what the moves is in the next hour or so, I'll post an animated gif of how to do it and include some thoughts on how to rapidly train the move for OP.
I guess this is the curse of the information age, anybody who actually knows any real shit is just one of many hundreds of yapping voices all claiming to know something worth teaching.
If somebody can guess what the moves is in the next hour or so, I'll post an animated gif of how to do it and include some thoughts on how to rapidly train the move for OP.
Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,765
@previous (Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE)
Unless it was a move taught by the WINNING SIDE it is useless. Take your fake Internet fighting skills back to ninjitsu LARPING. This guy doesnt have a chance unless he is fighting a cripple or a first grader.
Unless it was a move taught by the WINNING SIDE it is useless. Take your fake Internet fighting skills back to ninjitsu LARPING. This guy doesnt have a chance unless he is fighting a cripple or a first grader.
totoforme !!hWKWsQ1mC joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 35 seconds later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,767
Why will you have to fight?
Anonymous F replied with this 15 years ago, 43 seconds later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,770
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,771
no hints
(Edited 8 minutes later.)
Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,772
totoforme !!hWKWsQ1mC replied with this 15 years ago, 49 seconds later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,774
@67,771 (Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE)
If you want to tell him, go ahead. If not, shut up about it.
If you want to tell him, go ahead. If not, shut up about it.
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,777
@previous (totoforme !!hWKWsQ1mC)
No, this is the fun part. There's still the condition that he has to convince me it's for a cause worth spilling this over.
No, this is the fun part. There's still the condition that he has to convince me it's for a cause worth spilling this over.
Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,780
@previous (Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE)
Was it taught by a certain British captain who also trained the OSS?
Was it taught by a certain British captain who also trained the OSS?
jump !VIfloDyEYo joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 5 hours later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,989
@67,777 (Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE)
Does it involve crushing the throat?
@OP
Ignore all the horrible advice here. Avoid the fight. Problem solved. You obviously aren't going to win unless your opponent is equally unskilled, in which case, he is going to chicken out.
If it's unavoidable, just get in close, latch on and start humping. It's an evolutionary skill all men possess.
Does it involve crushing the throat?
@OP
Ignore all the horrible advice here. Avoid the fight. Problem solved. You obviously aren't going to win unless your opponent is equally unskilled, in which case, he is going to chicken out.
If it's unavoidable, just get in close, latch on and start humping. It's an evolutionary skill all men possess.
Anonymous U joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 29 seconds later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,990
OP hasn't replied.
Anonymous I replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,991
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 10 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #67,998
@67,989 (jump !VIfloDyEYo)
Maybe it involves kicking. Maybe it's an elbow move. Who knows? Certainly not I. 9_9
Maybe it involves kicking. Maybe it's an elbow move. Who knows? Certainly not I. 9_9
jump !VIfloDyEYo replied with this 15 years ago, 4 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #68,001
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #68,003
Anonymous V joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 hour later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #68,027
Here's what I would do. You'll prolly square off with a boxing stance. Feign a right hook to catch him off guard, and then take out his leading knee with a swift front kick to the side of the knee or heel to the kneecap. This will likely put him on his back, and then you should kick him in the ribs twice and in the head once, then walk cooly away.
jump !VIfloDyEYo replied with this 15 years ago, 19 minutes later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #68,033
Anonymous I replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #68,037
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
@67,646 (I)
> punch him in the face as hard as you can
Anonymous V replied with this 15 years ago, 59 seconds later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #68,039
!34Kas0OdzM joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 hour later, 11 hours after the original post[^] [v] #68,060
@67,765 (Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ)
> Unless it was a move taught by the WINNING SIDE it is useless. Take your fake Internet fighting skills back to ninjitsu LARPING. This guy doesnt have a chance unless he is fighting a cripple or a first grader.
The funny thing is that in the real world, Animé style ninjutsu would get the person bullrushed and killed before they even finished their fancy incantation.
@68,027 (V)
> implying OP is fast
@67,761 (Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ)
@67,989 (jump !VIfloDyEYo)
Those, but OP probably did that anyway.
> Unless it was a move taught by the WINNING SIDE it is useless. Take your fake Internet fighting skills back to ninjitsu LARPING. This guy doesnt have a chance unless he is fighting a cripple or a first grader.
The funny thing is that in the real world, Animé style ninjutsu would get the person bullrushed and killed before they even finished their fancy incantation.
@68,027 (V)
> implying OP is fast
@67,761 (Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ)
@67,989 (jump !VIfloDyEYo)
Those, but OP probably did that anyway.
jump !VIfloDyEYo replied with this 15 years ago, 1 hour later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #68,079
@previous (!34Kas0OdzM)
> The funny thing is that in the real world, Animé style ninjutsu would get the person bullrushed and killed before they even finished their fancy incantation.
Obviously, you throw a smoke bomb first to give you time. Duh.
> The funny thing is that in the real world, Animé style ninjutsu would get the person bullrushed and killed before they even finished their fancy incantation.
Obviously, you throw a smoke bomb first to give you time. Duh.
Anonymous X joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #68,080
Sniper rifle from a mile away.
jump !VIfloDyEYo replied with this 15 years ago, 1 hour later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #68,086
@previous (X)
Good luck making that shot without training. God, people, THINK. Shotgun in the face.
Bring a bandolier of shells. Don't forget to eliminate witnesses. All of them.
Good luck making that shot without training. God, people, THINK. Shotgun in the face.
Bring a bandolier of shells. Don't forget to eliminate witnesses. All of them.
(Edited 23 seconds later.)
Nega !34Kas0OdzM replied with this 15 years ago, 5 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #68,088
@68,080 (X)
inb4 the recoil throws OP off-balance, resulting in an unsightly mess on the floor below.
@68,079 (jump !VIfloDyEYo)
lol
inb4 the recoil throws OP off-balance, resulting in an unsightly mess on the floor below.
@68,079 (jump !VIfloDyEYo)
lol
Anonymous X replied with this 15 years ago, 8 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #68,090
@68,086 (jump !VIfloDyEYo)
Never said OP should take the shot. Although its probably quite hard to actually find a sniper in a day.
Never said OP should take the shot. Although its probably quite hard to actually find a sniper in a day.
Tekamine !AnRbswGQv. joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 hour later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #68,096
After you've collected the kill, tea bag the fucker.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #68,097
@previous (Tekamine !AnRbswGQv.)
Make sure you do this quickly enough for him to see it on the kill-cam.
Make sure you do this quickly enough for him to see it on the kill-cam.
Anonymous Z-3 joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 7 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #68,360
Lost my ID but I survived! I punched the cunt once and ran away. Also Misanthope you're a weird faggot.
The Owl !yshAAUvyds replied with this 15 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #68,367
Mister Misanthrope !NPN/W33CeE replied with this 15 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #68,450
!34Kas0OdzM replied with this 15 years ago, 19 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #68,892
Anonymous Z-1 replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #68,893
@previous (!34Kas0OdzM)
Unless he doesn't look where he's going whilst running across the road, and gets hit by a bus.
Unless he doesn't look where he's going whilst running across the road, and gets hit by a bus.
protip !!pMmAiEwOm joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 20 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #68,905
Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #68,909
The Owl !yshAAUvyds replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #68,911
Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 56 seconds later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #68,914
The Owl !yshAAUvyds replied with this 15 years ago, 51 seconds later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #68,915
Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #68,918
(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)Nice.
@previous (The Owl !yshAAUvyds)
Then he'd be stabbed by an Italian.
protip !!pMmAiEwOm replied with this 15 years ago, 47 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #68,948
(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
Harleen?
Harleen?