Topic: Franziæ® Orange Blossom White review.
Metæ started this discussion 12 years ago #36,810
As you will no doubt have guessed, I've been a fan of Franzia for many years. I remember distinctly, as a small child when I saw it on a TV commercial for the first time. I can't remember what year this was (1995?) but what I remember is a party and people were dispensing wine from a box, by opening a black plastic tap on the bottom corner of it. Glass after glass after glass, the box kept dispensing industrially produced ambrosia. This was, undoubtedly, on par with Tang® and freeze-dried coffee in the world of beverage innovation. Space-age wine for tomorrow's world. This Friday I was at Walmart purchasing my weekend box. I had already set the box of Franzia White Zinfandel into my cart, giving it pride of place on the little swing out child seat they build into the top of the cart, elevating it above the common riff-raff like meat and fruit and bottled water when something caught me, out of the corner of my eye. I stopped and did a double take, my eyes homing in on the Crisp White™ Franzia or rather what was next to it. "Orange Blossom White". An orange ribbon in the bottom left proudly pronounced "Limited Edition". "This has got to be special", I reckoned. I'd never had orange flavored wine before.
Getting it home and opening it, I immediately poured a glass and took a few gulps. This was, undoubtedly crisp white. A powerful sweet bouquet of apple Jolly Ranchers™ predominated, with only the faintest hint of artificial orange flavor (the kind they put Sunkist® orange soda, I believe). I've never smelled an orange blossom before, but I do have a kumquat tree which is in blossom at the moment, and it really smells nothing like that. At 9% alcohol, this is actually quite weak and sweet as far as wine goes, so it won't exactly knock your socks off. Overall, I rate it 7/10. It's really just Crisp White flavor and this edition is "limited" to however many people they can dupe. I will think twice before straying from the tried-and-true White Zinfandel again.
HaikerensGuide !dBGi/iH4eY joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 2 minutes later[^] [v] #500,354
I prefer Charles Shaw. Thanks.
Metæ (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #500,355
kook !!32zdfdzi+ joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 36 minutes later, 40 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #500,363
Send me some kumquats, please.
Metæ (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 30 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #500,367
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
I can't for a while, they're still green :(
There's two dozen green ones and quite a few blossoms. I'll have a good kumquat harvest this year.
I can't for a while, they're still green :(
There's two dozen green ones and quite a few blossoms. I'll have a good kumquat harvest this year.
(Edited 39 seconds later.)
beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #500,370
Thank you. This was an informative review.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #500,378
Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 12 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #500,381
@OP
You should organize vigorous letter-writing and viral social media campaigns to make this an "unlimited edition" to the Franzia line-up of choices.
You should organize vigorous letter-writing and viral social media campaigns to make this an "unlimited edition" to the Franzia line-up of choices.
(Edited 22 seconds later.)
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #500,389
Anonymous E replied with this 12 years ago, 2 hours later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #500,400
@previous (F)
Seriously, I think once Metae wakes up from his Franzia-induced haze and washes off last night's craziness residue; it is then that he will recognize the truth of these statements.
Seriously, I think once Metae wakes up from his Franzia-induced haze and washes off last night's craziness residue; it is then that he will recognize the truth of these statements.
Metae (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 12 hours later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #500,490
@500,381 (E)
Actually I want them to make it a very limited edition -- individually hand numbered and all -- so I can buy a few boxes as an investment.
@500,389 (F)
You have no idea how many times I've literally dreamed about infinite volume Franzia boxes.
Actually I want them to make it a very limited edition -- individually hand numbered and all -- so I can buy a few boxes as an investment.
@500,389 (F)
You have no idea how many times I've literally dreamed about infinite volume Franzia boxes.
Meta !PARAdoxiHw (OP) double-posted this 12 years ago, 5 days later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #501,225
Urgent update: it was a very limited edition, indeed. There was none at all in Walmart today.