Topic: I ordered a Book of Mormon and then the website told me it would be sending me missionaries too
beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao started this discussion 12 years ago #36,162
I didn't want missionaries. I just wanted the book. :(
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 5 minutes later[^] [v] #494,619
lol.
I hope that you enjoy that encounter, then.
I hope that you enjoy that encounter, then.
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 14 minutes later, 20 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #494,624
invite them in for coffee
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #494,642
Metæ joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 12 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #494,647
@OP
Sell them. I'm sure missionaries will fetch a lot of money on the international market. They're just like salesmen, really, and those are always in demand.
Sell them. I'm sure missionaries will fetch a lot of money on the international market. They're just like salesmen, really, and those are always in demand.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #494,654
squeegee joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #494,657
go ahead and order and have them send the missionaries out. When they get there invite them in, sit them down, and explain to them that you're having them over to explain the logical reasoning behind atheism and to spread the word of secularization to the mormons. just put together a real quick powerpoint of a richard dawkins book and start to explain your presentation. They'll be gone by slide 2, so don't bother making any more than that.
you might even be able to keep the book, too, but that's not really the point
you might even be able to keep the book, too, but that's not really the point
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 12 years ago, 4 hours later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #494,679
@previous (squeegee)
But Becky is religious herself. She can't so that or her god will smash her. :-/
But Becky is religious herself. She can't so that or her god will smash her. :-/
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 5 minutes later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #494,682
Convince them it's time for a threesome
Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 2 hours later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #494,689
Lamb joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 12 minutes later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #494,692
I bought one for around a dollar from the thrift store.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #494,693
Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #494,694
Just explain to the missionaries that this is all a cruel Internet prank orchestrated by some obsessive guy in China. If they don't believe you, then offer then some USPS shipping boxes.
beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 6 days later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #495,548
Update: the missionaries have not contacted me. They can't be that busy, right? They just hate me. :(
squeegee joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 8 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #495,549
@previous (beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao)
if they come by just tell them they are too late and you're catholic now. they won't bother you again.
if they come by just tell them they are too late and you're catholic now. they won't bother you again.
Anonymous C replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #495,559
Meta replied with this 12 years ago, 25 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #495,561
@495,548 (beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao)
I called in a favor from the underboss of the Ohio WIne MAfiæ. The missionaries have been sent on a nice "vacation".
I called in a favor from the underboss of the Ohio WIne MAfiæ. The missionaries have been sent on a nice "vacation".
swamplights !!0lQNsDoq/ joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #495,568
You should talk to the missionaries and use the opportunity to badmouth Joseph Smith.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 12 years ago, 10 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #495,596
Anonymous M joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #495,612
I did that once, and they sent the missionaries. They were actually really nice guys, even though I argued against them with a stack of books and photocopies. They were still nice and even invited me to play basketball with them.
beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #495,615
Anonymous M replied with this 12 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #495,616
@previous (beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao)
No, because it was at their compound with a bunch of other missionaries: I would be the only non-Mormon-missionary, and I would feel really awkward.
No, because it was at their compound with a bunch of other missionaries: I would be the only non-Mormon-missionary, and I would feel really awkward.
beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 5 days later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #496,490
Okay, the missionaries finally called. They woke me up from a nap in the process. They are eager to teach me about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I think I'll see them the week after next.
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 50 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #496,495
Anonymous D replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #496,511
beckyderp !4aMoRa.T2Q (OP) replied with this 11 years ago, 4 months later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #523,003
Update: the missionaries never called back. I am doomed.
Anonymous O joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #523,011
If I ordered the Quran, would they send "missionaries" as well?
Anonymous J replied with this 11 years ago, 8 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #523,190
Anonymous P joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 8 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #523,249
my friends friends are mormon missionaries, he isnt mormon though, they are pretty nice and love talking about their faith but they stop by at the most ＩＮＣＯＮＶＥＮＩＥＮＴ times, though i will go as far as to say with all the bullshit happening in the world mormons are some of the lowest people on my shit list