Topic: oh shit. i'm in a lot of trouble.

squeegee started this discussion 12 years ago #35,350

i... i think i'm in love.

what do i do? WHAT DO I DO!?
SHE'S RUSSIAN FOR GOD'S SAKE! HER ACCENT IS ADORABLE! WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME!? I... I WANT TO... i want to have a life with her.

but she is way out of my league. like, you can't even imagine.

this is either going to hurt really badly, or i am going to be with the girl of my dreams...

if i can grow the nuts to ask her out... this doesn't happen to me, believe it or not, but i am stunned when she's around.

fuck fuck fuck. thinking about her makes me feel nervous, like my future rides on this or something. weird feeling. hope it's just cancer, cause if this is love then it feels out if fucking control.

squeegee (OP) double-posted this 12 years ago, 3 minutes later[^] [v] #486,418

damn it people give me answers! is this love or is this cancer!?

Syntax joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 5 minutes later, 8 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #486,419

First never again put cancer into paragraphs with falling in love.
Second remember nothing ventured nothing gained.
Third IF she needs a green card? Need to no that b4 I can continue with advice

Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 45 minutes later, 53 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #486,420

@OP
Make a drink. Calm down a little.

McBeagle !ckOEHONKEY joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 40 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #486,422

lol implying a russian woman would ever want a short texan

stella joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 50 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #486,423

@previous (McBeagle !ckOEHONKEY)
u know what they say about texas. steers and queers l.o.l.

The Captain !PundosRBSM joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 3 hours later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,431

@OP
Fuck her brains out.

Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 26 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,437

@OP
When you next see her be sure to wear your cowboy boots with the highest heels, your largest belt buckle and tallest ten gallon hat. Possibly a denim waistcoat over your denim shirt with jeans for the triple combo.

She may not be able to contain her lust, be careful bud.

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 21 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,438

@previous (G)
dude, that's what i was wearing when i met her, you want her to think i'm a hobo?
a well dressed hobo?

@486,431 (The Captain !PundosRBSM)
you inspire me captain archer

@486,423 (stella)
in texas we love our queers as much as we love our steers. who else is going to interior decorate my home? me?
not likely, not with so many gays around with good taste.

@486,422 (McBeagle !ckOEHONKEY)
haha, yeah. i'm short.

@486,420 (C)
solid advice. i had about 9

@486,419 (Syntax)
if i can't talk about cancer and the love of a beautiful woman in the same sentence then how am i supposed to express my feelings?

Syntax replied with this 12 years ago, 3 hours later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,442

@previous (squeegee)
> if i can't talk about cancer and the love of a beautiful woman in the same sentence then how am i supposed to express my feelings?

You are free to talk think anything you want2. Butttttt mixing up thoughts of cancer n love not so much so good 4ya

Off for my daily run on beach as tide is ultra rock bottom low for this day - Perhaps C a Psycho texas Head Shrink Doc n discuss while IR on my beach run

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,448

@previous (Syntax)
i feel better today. i went out last night to have a couple if drinks up the road and met a cute chick from california. she took me to her hotel and we fooled around till about 5am. lots of foreplay. she was digging it, which is always nice. good to know i haven't lost my touch with the young ladies.

maybe i won't be intimidated by the russian beauty now that i'm feeling tired and relaxed.

Syntax replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,464

@previous (squeegee)
Not so sure you are ready for the Russian Beauty given she wood b sloppy 2nds now. er that may have cum out a bit harsh

So hey man I no exactly how you feel about venturing into the land of
> way out of my league.

Been there done that. Long story for another tyme re why I failed but you could ask but its embarrassing for me to share - bottom line to story is that at my 1st high school reunion and I was with my wife at that tyme - As I was walking to bar to get us drinks a gal sitting down at table stops me and asks me to sit down. She Queen of prom - out of my league. New her back in 3rd grade and few years beyond.

But for a special reason I stopped talking to her and wood never make eye contact again with her - She grows up to b that out of my league - AND Then at Reunion says to me - Why did you stop talking to me - Did you think I had a BF in High School? I was dumb struck. One she did not remember a major embarrassing moment which involved her parents and mine - AND let me no she would have and wanted to date.

Now what she is doing now is truly shocking but hey life can be weird and IF I had had the guts to ask her out - she might not b doing what she doing now as former Queen of Prom - Anyone great at Doxxing could easily figure out her full name and where she currently lives.

I have more tl;dr stories of such re out of league

Get off your ass make contact ask her out cause you have nothing to lose - Nothing ventured Nothing gained

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 47 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,485

@previous (Syntax)
technically sloppy seconds is when dude #2 fucks the cream pie left by dude #1.

but your story was nice. you're right.

prepare yourself, russia, i'm about to invade the motherland. don't bother wishing me luck, luck is for suckers. you either do or you don't, you don't hope.

off to get some boots and a haircut.

(Edited 31 seconds later.)

Syntax replied with this 12 years ago, 13 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,489

@previous (squeegee)
Yep go for it. Yesterday I was watching 60 minutes on TVio and segment on Cate Blanchett. Her husband looks and talks wayyyyy out of her league.

I worked n lived in Russia. On n off for about 1 year - 6 Months without leaving Siberia and that was starting in dead of winter. Great memories and sure met n fell in lust with several beauties. Red and Blond haired beauties. All with very very good English - Actually because of the English language we as a working team for Globalstar had to fight off a long line of much to young girls lining up to chat with us.

If anyone else reads this and has a doubt about wot I just said? Ask questions cause Russia is one place that is loaded just loaded with cute gals ready to jump in2 your arms for even more then just a green card.

Boots? Oh yes Texans n Boots lol

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 39 minutes later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,497

check out these fuckers. ostrich skin. i was looking for rattlesnake skin boots, but those are too formal. i'm not trying to wear a tuxedo.

and check out that heel. i feel like i'm six and a half feet tall.

cccuuunnttt joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 3 minutes later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,498

@previous (squeegee)
You have legs like Cotton Hill

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 45 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,501

@previous (cccuuunnttt)
yeah, mens "boot cut" jeans are really just baggy as fuck. i'll try them on with proper wranglers when i get home, but fighting with the cuff in store is not flattering. these jeans look better with sneakers, which i don't own a pair of.

thanks for pointing that out, but proper cut jeans are on the agenda. also i need a new pearl-snap shirt with lots of decorative flourishes.

Syntax replied with this 12 years ago, 12 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,503

@486,497 (squeegee)
Lots of years I wood fly in2 Dallas n hit 30 to Greenville Tx. Friend from there retired and got in2 Ostrich farm biz for Ostrich meat for restaurants/market. No selling so much so well so your boots just might not be the imported Aussie stuff and be more local good for my friend who is now forced to eat a lot of his profits - Ostrich meat is Red n not White and its ok tasty but I wood rather eat Chicken or Turkey.

Pearl-Snap shirt lol - So on my first trip to Dallas for a week or so I go out on weekend to buy such - bought about 5 and got them home - Married at tyme and wife points out that all the shirts were made in California -

Still my fav shirts for hiking cause of fast open of buttons to cool down

dw skg joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,506

@486,497 (squeegee)
Lol i knew you wore high heels i called u out bitch

Green joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 12 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,508

I'm happy for you squeegee. I wish you a bright and prosperous future!

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 20 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,512

@486,506 (dw skg)
> implying Lucchese makes ostrich boots in anything less than a 2" heel

anything less is just a work boot. probably rubber soles too.

dw skg replied with this 12 years ago, 40 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,515

@previous (squeegee)
I'm just joshing

dw !jdTkvovFCQ joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 18 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #486,518

@486,512 (squeegee)
oh my god their website is beautiful

LeCaptain joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 7 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #486,592

@486,512 (squeegee)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 18 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #486,680

bitch has got a boyfriend, you believe that? she's having coffee with me in the morning though, so i don't think it's that big a deal. won't be the first time i've had a challenge though, but it's fucking irritating to have to put in the extra effort. worth it though. and at least i know the drill.

she liked my boots too. here's a better picture. you can see all the details.

i said "thanks, i had these made when i bagged my last ostrich."
she said in an adorable russian accent, "oh, you're a hunter?"
i said, "no, it's illegal to hunt ostrich in Texas. you gotta wrestle them."
her eyes got big when i gestured a wrestling move and told her, "you gotta get them in a headlock and pin their shoulders to the ground while someone else sneaks up behind it with a big sack, and you catch it. then you go have boots made out of it."

she gave me the flirtiest look and said, "no you didn't," and i smiled real big and said "if you don't believe that then you'll never believe me about my bear fur house shoes."

we had a laugh. then she said she'd have coffee with me.

:)

(Edited 3 minutes later.)

squeegee (OP) double-posted this 12 years ago, 14 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,748

god, what a lovely girl. i just enjoy spending time with her. if i pull this off it will be the greatest achievement of my life. if not, my most regrettable failure.

i may need more than just pretty boots to pull this off...

cccuuunnttt replied with this 12 years ago, 32 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,751

@previous (squeegee)
Have you fucked her yet?

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 32 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,755

@previous (cccuuunnttt)
of course not, she's a lady. i'm courting her. you know, wooing her with my charms. also wooing her friends. right now, they love me and afaik they don't "like" dude she's with. that's the best situation for me at the moment. her friends obviously have picked up on the fact i have a crush on her, and they think i'm great. so, they'll do half my work for me.

:)

cccuuunnttt replied with this 12 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,756

@previous (squeegee)
Have you fucked any of her friends yet?

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 16 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,759

@previous (cccuuunnttt)
no, that would be a mistake i think.

dw skg replied with this 12 years ago, 29 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,766

@previous (squeegee)
You tryna fuck tho, rite?

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,767

@previous (dw skg)
trying to marry, my friend, trying to marry.

dw skg replied with this 12 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,769

@previous (squeegee)
I'm trying to make friends do u have tips?

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,770

@previous (dw skg)
Go for the jugular.

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 6 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,773

@486,769 (dw skg)
be yourself, be available, don't avoid crowds, say hello to everyone you see, smile, learn a couple of good jokes by heart and learn to tell them in a lively fashion.

and never underestimate the power of nice boots.

(Edited 2 minutes later.)

Ash !bbKEtchUp. joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,774

Fao OP

Don't tell her about minichan

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 12 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,775

@previous (Ash !bbKEtchUp.)
u wot m8? Minichan is the perfect wingman. She should be brought here at once.

cccuuunnttt replied with this 12 years ago, 46 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,777

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
She would quickly turn gay or transsexual, though.

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 1 day later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,874

shit. i can't stop thinking about her. and it kind of hurts.

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 12 years ago, 10 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,876

@previous (squeegee)
Drunken fisticuffs are the answer.

Anonymous C replied with this 12 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,878

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
But where will he find an ostrich?

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 12 years ago, 58 seconds later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,880

@previous (C)
The only answer may be to fight through everybody else until one is encountered.

Anonymous C replied with this 12 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,883

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
Ah, it's like one of those 90s arcade games where squeegee has to punch his way through mean streets filled with cowboys and truckers until he encounters the final boss: the ostrich who has captured his beautiful Russian damsel.

(Edited 10 seconds later.)

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 12 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,887

@previous (C)
Right. It all makes sense. Why don't the Russian woman's friends like the current boyfriend? He is secretly an Ostrich, and is holding her prisoner.

dw skg replied with this 12 years ago, 2 hours later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #486,907

@486,874 (squeegee)
fisticuffs, mating, or intensive meditation are your only options

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 1 week later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #487,860

A sight for sore eyes
To the blind would be awful majestic
It would be the most beautiful thing
That they ever had seen
It would cause such surprise
It would make all of their minds electric
How could anyone tell them
That some things are not what they seem?

In such disbelief
I thought I was asleep when I met you
My heart liquefied and I sighed
Oh this must be a dream
If I forget to set the alarm
And sleep on through the dawn
Don’t remind me
I’d rather be dreaming of someone
Than living alone

If you’re searching the lines for a point
Well, you’ve probably missed it
There was never anything there
In the first place

cccuuunnttt !CUuNTTZV9M replied with this 12 years ago, 4 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #487,879

@previous (squeegee)
Jesus christ, don't turn into a faggot over this. :|

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 47 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #487,881

@previous (cccuuunnttt !CUuNTTZV9M)
it's already too late for that

squeegee (OP) double-posted this 12 years ago, 18 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #487,887

oh, did i not mention the girl is apparently a fashion model? i know, right? i was like figures. that is how unatainably gorgeous this chick is. insanely pretty.
it doesn't help that her accent is adorable and that she has a wonderful personality.
being around her lights me up.

but for fucks sake she's dating some probably duchebag

Anonymous C replied with this 12 years ago, 4 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #487,904

@487,879 (cccuuunnttt !CUuNTTZV9M)
Are you IRL homophobic?

dw replied with this 12 years ago, 26 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #487,907

@previous (C)
you don't have to be homophobic to call squeegee a faggot for that post

dw double-posted this 12 years ago, 23 seconds later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #487,908

@487,904 (C)
I don't say that word tho

Anonymous C replied with this 12 years ago, 23 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #487,913

@487,907 (dw)
> implying I was implying

Syntax replied with this 12 years ago, 5 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #487,948

@487,881 (squeegee)
TC has post linking your er poetry to back here

So like I been busy n not keepin up

Did u did u have close up personal encounter with Russian - did she turn KGB on you or or did she as Russians often do - Grab you without warning and make You hers?

squeegee (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 22 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #487,949

@previous (Syntax)
those are song lyrics about a guy who confuses infatuation with love and is in denial about it.

i mean it has a catchy melody, but it doesn't apply otherwise.

Syntax replied with this 12 years ago, 3 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #487,959

@previous (squeegee)
non of my beeswax
Did you ask her out or remain chicken?

Anonymous C replied with this 12 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #487,961

@previous (Syntax)
> non of my beeswax
Watch your language. There's a high-pollen alert going on.

Syntax replied with this 12 years ago, 9 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #487,963

@previous (C)
LOL
Read becky asking n replied - AND until I was on a biz trip long ago in hotel room and watched local news - I had no clue as well when they spent tyme on pollen and even detailed the types with graphs/charts/ on a weather report.

beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao replied with this 12 years ago, 2 months later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #498,330

So did this fizzle out, squeeg? What's the story?

squeegee joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 3 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #498,358

@previous (beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao)
oh, well we're kind of friends now. i see her once a week or so and we talk. she still has a boyfriend, so, no real movement. but, all is not lost.

also i'm seeing this other chick right now, so she's been keeping me busy.

(Edited 16 seconds later.)

Anonymous P joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #498,399

@previous (squeegee)
Play the long game, son.