Topic: crippling narcissism.
Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ started this discussion 12 years ago #35,207
I've lost so many friends and destroyed so many relationships due to the fact that I'm an entitled vacuum of a human being. And either I selfishly fuck someone over, or lie to them, or whatever and they leave or it just finally dawns on them that I am completely self serving or I just drain them of emotions and resources until im too much to handle for them.
I also have a very weak conscience, I mean, it's there but I can justify any action I take to myself, and my conscience is more confirming my desires and telling me im right than something that says "you shouldnt do that". I mean I have anger issues and when I lose control I feel very stupid, but thats about it.
The problem is that I know it's ruining my life, cognitively I can see that, but despite any attempts I make to be a "good person", I find that it does nothing for me internally. In fact I feel more accomplished hurting someone in mosr scenarios because I feel like I won or got away wirh something.
I have no discernible talents except for the ability to bullshit and exploit people who do, I'm not a very good or even friendly person (I'm not even a good actor, people think I'm super glib and forced all the time).
So yeah, I realize that I'm a complete narcisstic asshat, but am so used to it that I dont even see how I could live life successfully in any other way, and also I dont even think its physically in me to change.
I also have a very weak conscience, I mean, it's there but I can justify any action I take to myself, and my conscience is more confirming my desires and telling me im right than something that says "you shouldnt do that". I mean I have anger issues and when I lose control I feel very stupid, but thats about it.
The problem is that I know it's ruining my life, cognitively I can see that, but despite any attempts I make to be a "good person", I find that it does nothing for me internally. In fact I feel more accomplished hurting someone in mosr scenarios because I feel like I won or got away wirh something.
I have no discernible talents except for the ability to bullshit and exploit people who do, I'm not a very good or even friendly person (I'm not even a good actor, people think I'm super glib and forced all the time).
So yeah, I realize that I'm a complete narcisstic asshat, but am so used to it that I dont even see how I could live life successfully in any other way, and also I dont even think its physically in me to change.
Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) double-posted this 12 years ago, 6 minutes later[^] [v] #484,608
It went from.
1. I feel kind of detached from people also im a typical bully, and like to make girls fall in love with me just soI can break their hearts
2. Lol I'm a narcissist guys, isnt that awesome?
3. Not a sociopath are a narcissist I love my girlfriend.
4. Oh my god, even my love is self serving, and I'm a draining person to everyone I encounter, and I feel like aGod amongst men even though from anyone else's viewpoint im in below average circumstances that im at fault for. I am a narcissist, and theres clearly a reason it's considered a disorder.
1. I feel kind of detached from people also im a typical bully, and like to make girls fall in love with me just soI can break their hearts
2. Lol I'm a narcissist guys, isnt that awesome?
3. Not a sociopath are a narcissist I love my girlfriend.
4. Oh my god, even my love is self serving, and I'm a draining person to everyone I encounter, and I feel like aGod amongst men even though from anyone else's viewpoint im in below average circumstances that im at fault for. I am a narcissist, and theres clearly a reason it's considered a disorder.
dw ltd joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 25 minutes later, 31 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #484,611
Hey let's nobody reply to this because... u know
Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #484,613
The Captain !PundosRBSM joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 48 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #484,619
Metæ joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 6 hours later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #484,638
@OP
There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.
There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.
(Edited 20 seconds later.)
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 6 minutes later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #484,639
squeegee joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 11 hours after the original post[^] [v] #484,645
op sure is an angsty little thing.
Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #484,662
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 12 years ago, 7 minutes later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #484,664
Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 14 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #484,667
@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
I dont like it when people are mean to me, I am never mean to squeegee, and he's mean to me all the time. And I don't like it.
I dont like it when people are mean to me, I am never mean to squeegee, and he's mean to me all the time. And I don't like it.
squeegee replied with this 12 years ago, 5 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #484,671
@484,662 (Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+)
i dunno, melodramatic brooding?
@previous (Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+)
what did i ever do to you? i thought you were a sociopath with no emotions. you're awfully touchy for somone who gives no fucks.
i dunno, melodramatic brooding?
@previous (Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+)
what did i ever do to you? i thought you were a sociopath with no emotions. you're awfully touchy for somone who gives no fucks.
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 14 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #484,674
Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 12 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #484,676
@484,671 (squeegee)
Well then yeah I suppose I am a bit angsty. Im not a sociopath squeegee, noone is eveer.
Well then yeah I suppose I am a bit angsty. Im not a sociopath squeegee, noone is eveer.
dw ltd replied with this 12 years ago, 3 hours later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #484,691
@484,613 (Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+)
it would have been
I hope you mature as a human being buddy
You should take a break from the internet it only serves to stoke your ego and exacerbate your problems
Because u suck right now
I'm trying to be nice
it would have been
I hope you mature as a human being buddy
You should take a break from the internet it only serves to stoke your ego and exacerbate your problems
Because u suck right now
I'm trying to be nice