I'm a sick fuck piece of shit. Mental health services and alcohol recovery services never seem to realise why their treatment never works. Well I'm a sick fuck pedophile. I can't go on living with myself like this. Every day is just shame and self-hatred. This is the reason why I selfharm and am so self-destructive. It's also why I am an alcoholic. After my first girlfriend left me I started drinking heavily to destroy this thoughts. I never stopped drinking. My only rays of hope was when I had girlfriends. Without a relationships, I am just a self-loathing husk of a man who can only make shitty posts and take stupid selfies and post them. I don't know. I am just a worthless scum and welcome death. And fuck this place. I would be less impulsive and stupid if I could chill with beers and Xbox, but no, I have to get in vodka! And fuck knows why marijuana and LSD are illegal. They would really help me. Fuck everything, everybody hates or will hate me. I am isolated in life and have no friends and can't socialize due to this. Only alcohol is my friend.
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#475,384
@previous (Green)
What is up with your parents anyway? Do you guys not have a relationship/not speak?
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 33 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#475,389
@previous (D)
My dad left me when I was born and the earliest memory I have of my mum is her destroying my sega gamegear because I left my watch under a toybox or something
bettyboop joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 4 hours later, 8 hours after the original post[^][v]#475,438
> My dad left me when I was born and the earliest memory I have of my mum is her destroying my sega gamegear because I left my watch under a toybox or something
OK let's have this out. This damned Gamegear has been totally blown out of perspective!
If this really is your first memory, then you won't remember the other stuff going on. The fact that at the time your dad was threatening. That your dad gave you the (half-broken) Gamegear... that he then broke the lead that I let you use from the answering machine.
We were poor at the time, your dad paid not a penny to your upbringing - I had to live hand to mouth a lot of the time, but I made sure you never went without.
The Gamegear took loads of batteries, and they ran out within a day - I just couldn't afford it. Nice of your dad to give you his unwanted possesion, then leave me to pick up the cost of running it...
Yes I was wrong... I said it, are you really going to punish me forever. What about all the stuff I saved hard to get you? You were blessed in a lot of ways, you had a TV in your room (which I didn't), you had a Dreamcast, then a Playstation.
You were (and still are) loved. I fought hard to protect you from your dad. I am sorry, sorry that you choose to define your whole life, by one broken, too expensive Trojan Horse xx
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 2 hours later, 11 hours after the original post[^][v]#475,447
Oh yeah@ I have over 10 gameboy advances! And 5 pokemons and I need more.
postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 11 hours later, 23 hours after the original post[^][v]#475,570
It'`s all a vicious cycle of doing things because you hate yourself, and you hate yourself because of the things you do. I don't really have any advice to give you because I feel like any advice would just come across as patronizing. But I understand to a degree what youre feeling. I have my demons, and emotional issues as well. If you ever want to talk I'm here for you.
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 7 minutes later, 23 hours after the original post[^][v]#475,572