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@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
Have you ever tried to Ctrl+Alt+Del your life?
@previous (C)
Well, that escalated quickly.
there ate no sugar mothers really but there are sites specifically for sugar dads but you could just meet one on ok Cupid probably
@previous (A)
then why haven't you found one yourself dingus
@previous (dw ltd)
Because I'm a fat neckbeard and it's hard to find women who won't overlook that.
@previous (A)
It's hard to 'find women' let alone 'older women who want to give you money' regardless of who you are. Whereas there's a niche for fat bearded men in the gay community, so you know
@previous (dw ltd)
Sounds like you speak from experience, ninji.
@previous (A)
Whatever ninjj maybe i have friends who do it you don't know
okay, so the best way to find a sugar momma is to hit the cougar bars. Just find out where the old broads hang out and wear jeans and tennis shoes and abercrombie muscle shirts. Once you've set the bait it's just a matter of waiting for one of them to get boozed up enough to approach you.
act uninterested. this is the important part. Cougars
hate MILF chasers.
once you've "allowed" yourself to be molested for awhile it's time to get some shots. Not fruity ones, old dames like the hard stuff. Single malt scotch or tennessee whiskey. Once you're both good and drunk, confess to her some secret. maybe that you were neglected as a child or had a drug addicted mother. She will then, if she's a true sugar momma cougar milf, pay the bill and offer you a ride home.
along the way, pull your junk out and start jerking off. She
will pull over and finish you off with a nice blowjob. cougars
love giving blowjobs to younger guys because they can still get rock hard, unlike middle aged men who need pills to get a semi lob-on. You should tell her that it's better than how your
current cheerleader girlfriend does it. this is also important, you must make the MILF know that you've got a young piece of ass she's competing against, but, you should also let her know that her
experience with men hasn't gone unnoticed.
if you play your cards right you'll be balls deep in old gash by midnight. DO NOT SPEND the night. Cougars, especially sugar mommas, are in it for the sex and thrill, not the companionship. She's probably married anyway, and you
do not want to deal with an angry old man who's wife you've done cum inside. (oh yeah, be sure to cum inside her, she won't get pregnant but will love that smell for a few days reminding her of you.)
Be sure to sneak out, don't leave a name, a number or anyway to contact you. just go back to the bar on the same night for the next couple of weeks (cougars generally have a certain night they prowl for cock.)
she
will come to you. be sure to act shy and ashamed and awkward, like you
regret fucking that dusty gash. She'll prime you with dinner, ply you with alcohol, and from that point on it's just a matter of complaining about eviction, or bills, or car payments, or whatever else you want Mrs. Robinson to bribe you with.
just remember, the first fucking is free, but don't, i repeat,
don't fuck her again until she pays for something. Eventually she'll be buying you clothes, watches, paying your bills, etc. after that, dick the old girl down like her cunt gushes gold coins.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
@previous (squeegee !first/o5zA)
This is poetry. I am truly moved.