Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 38 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#471,112
@OP
I'm guessing that you have no routine, no material, and you plan to get by on edginess alone. When one of the jokes you found on the internet bombs don't blame the audience for not laughing.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 9 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#471,114
@471,103 (C)
Better hope they don't give him a hand, then.
squeegee joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#471,115
i hope you're not paying them much
Metæ joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 21 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,121
@OP
Remember: "what's the deal with airline food?" is always good for laughs. You can always segue into "I just flew in from _ and boy are my arms tired!" followed by "if the black box is indestructible, why don't they make the whole plane out of it?" It made Jerry Seinfeld a bazillionaire.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 12 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,124
@previous (Metæ)
I thought it was "what's up with airline food"?
I legitimately find that line amusing, btw. Heh. What's up with it is that it's high up in the sky. Brilliant.
(Edited 20 seconds later.)
Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,127
@471,112 (D)
On the contrary, I do about an hour of writing a day, and I've prepared quite a bit. I've also done comedy before, and done well. This is just my first time I actually getting paid for it. So, sorry you're a jealous faggot.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 12 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,130
@previous (Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+)
Could you tell us some jokes, possibly? If they translate well to text, that is.
Metæ replied with this 12 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,131
@471,124 (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
"Take my girlfriend, please take her! [laughs] I took my girlfriend to the Cheesecake Factory and ended up giving her a handjob in the car afterwards, if ya know what I mean! [uproarious laughter and appplause]"
Anonymous D replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,138
Oh, I still want to pursue comedy, and while I am nowhere near getting an HBO special that would be a dream come true. If I ever do get one, I can assure you that I will open it with a little speech about how much I love Cupcake. I considered just getting famous, and professing love on television, but I run the risk of making it look like I got famous for myself, and decided to use that fame to rekindle a long lost love as an afterthought. Not a risk I'm willing to take....
Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,139
@471,127 (Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+) @previous (D)
Oh, I still want to pursue comedy, and while I am nowhere near getting an HBO special that would be a dream come true. If I ever do get one, I can assure you that I will open it with a little speech about how much I love Cupcake. I considered just getting famous, and professing love on television, but I run the risk of making it look like I got famous for myself, and decided to use that fame to rekindle a long lost love as an afterthought. Not a risk I'm willing to take....
squeegee !first/o5zA joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,160
@previous (H)
haha, i love this delusion, so out of touch
Metæ replied with this 12 years ago, 1 minute later, 4 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,161
@previous (squeegee !first/o5zA)
When he gets the Dow Jones internship, he can write a Wall Street Journal article about her.
Anonymous D replied with this 12 years ago, 4 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,163
@previous (Metæ)
and use that fame to rekindle a long lost love as an afterthought. Not a risk he's willing to take....
Dw ltd joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 4 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,166
squeegee !first/o5zA replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 6 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,170
@471,161 (Metæ)
Oh, I still want to pursue the Dow Jones internship, and while I am nowhere near getting a professional career that would be a dream come true. If I ever do get one, I can assure you that I will start my first day with a little speech about how much I love Cupcake. I considered just getting the Dow Jones internship, and professing love on the stock market, but I run the risk of making it look like I got wealthy for myself, and decided to use those riches to rekindle a long lost love as an afterthought. Not a risk I'm willing to take....
Metæ replied with this 12 years ago, 45 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,174
@previous (squeegee !first/o5zA) @471,163 (D)
He could sort of work it into an article analyzing The Cheesecake Factory's (NASDAQ: CAKE) meteoric rise from $9.87 to $47.52 in the past five years.
Anonymous K joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 10 hours later, 17 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,220
Jesus Christ.
Anonymous L joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 3 hours later, 20 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,224
I djd last night and the club owner was sort of dumb but I figured out how to patch into the video wall so that'll be cool for next time
Anonymous L double-posted this 12 years ago, 1 minute later, 20 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,225
> On the contrary, I do about an hour of writing a day, and I've prepared quite a bit. I've also done comedy before, and done well. This is just my first time I actually getting paid for it. So, sorry you're a jealous faggot.
I don't think anyone is jealous of a comedian that is just now getting a paid gig, this is a great way to alienate anyone who might be interested in anything of yours
Syntax joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 22 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,232
@471,131 (Metæ) > I took my girlfriend to the Cheesecake Factory and ended up giving her a handjob in the car afterwards
Ah the fun memories of his ExGF's hand job
Anonymous K replied with this 12 years ago, 38 minutes later, 23 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,234
C.R.E.A.M.
Anonymous L replied with this 12 years ago, 13 minutes later, 23 hours after the original post[^][v]#471,235
Also postmortem you aren't particularly funny, actually you seem pretty dumb as well and have a habit of saying stuff is gonna happen and then doesn't, so calling someone "jealous" as a retort is something a child would do, good luck with your career though, can't wait to see you headline at the Newark flying j
Metæ replied with this 12 years ago, 4 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^][v]#471,263
@previous (L)
You only say that cause you're jealous thanks.
dw skg II distribution co. llc joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 47 seconds later, 1 day after the original post[^][v]#471,264
Anonymous S joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 days after the original post[^][v]#471,351
inb4 OP never replies
Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 9 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^][v]#471,386
@471,235 (L)
I'm dumb, sure, but a lot of people aremore dumb, theyre my target audience. Honestly, I hear news of things, and I get my hopes way up, and I'm retardly idealistic.
Meowth replied with this 12 years ago, 2 days later, 4 days after the original post[^][v]#471,673