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Minichan

Topic: Dear Santa.

Anonymous A started this discussion 13 years ago #33,025

Please give me Golden Virginia tobacco and a pack of Newports and Malboros in my stocking. Thanks.

santa joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 5 minutes later[^] [v] #458,948

no you fuck

Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 7 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #458,949

Why not buy your own? Santa doesn't give away gifts that kill people, so you might as well.

Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 3 minutes later, 11 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #458,950

why would you ask for discount brands as a gift

Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #458,962

@458,949 (C)
> Santa doesn't give away gifts that kill people
He does in Texas.

Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 12 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #458,964

@458,949 (C)
> doesn't know shit about santa

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 25 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #458,971

@458,949 (C)
Santa gives out coal which people have used to asphyxiate themselves with.

Morbid !vbsvhaneDY joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #458,973

@OP

Shit-tier tobacco products.

Anonymous C replied with this 13 years ago, 19 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #458,979

@458,971 (A)
To naughty people.

Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 6 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #458,981

Dear Santa,

Please use your magic to give me tits, ass, body, soul, and a vagina.

squeegee !first/o5zA joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 49 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #458,987

dear satan, i can see through your clever disguise. Red suit. plying people with gifts. demonic reindeer. elves! very clever Lord of Lies, but you're not fooling me for anything less than a new pair of dancing boots!
White and red! embossed and with nice embellishments. size 14
i command you, gift demon

(Edited 29 seconds later.)

Anonymous H replied with this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #458,996

@previous (squeegee !first/o5zA)
Santa beats Satan's ass.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 7 hours later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #459,014

@previous (H)
Because Santa actually exists.

Anonymous H replied with this 13 years ago, 59 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #459,018

@previous (A)
Because Satan actually exists.

Anonymous E replied with this 13 years ago, 19 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #459,021

@459,014 (A)
@previous (H)
It's actually like Fight Club where generous Santa is Satan's well-loved alter-ego. The final scene where they beat each other/themselves up before going back to tell the elves to call off Christmas, only to find that they are too late and have been undermining their own plan all along and that Christmas will happen anyway... That is golden. Satan takes a candy cane through the jaw to realize that he can carry on pretending Christmas by destroying the tools of capitalist opression that make it a consumerist holiday. Best Christmas movie ending ever!

(Edited 5 minutes later.)

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