Topic: The Quest for Smokes.
Anonymous A started this discussion 13 years ago #32,911
Postmortem was playing with Lego. His dinner would be ready in an hour. His father came into the room. 'Son, I'm going to the store for some smokes'. Postmortem was too overwhelmed by his Lego to care. He knew something was wrong when his dad didn't return for dinner. And the next week when his dad still hadn't returned from the store. He wept.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 4 minutes later[^] [v] #457,929
When postmortem was old enough, he went to the store for cigarettes, hoping to find his father, but to no avail. He left the store with a pack of Newports. He took out a lighter, but put it back in exchange for a match. It just looked cooler, if a little pretentious. He lit the cig and inhaled. A rush overcame him. This is what he was born for. This was his destiny.
dw joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 16 minutes later, 21 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #457,931
so is that the quest completed?
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 3 minutes later, 24 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #457,932
dw replied with this 13 years ago, 11 minutes later, 36 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #457,933
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 6 minutes later, 42 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #457,934
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 21 hours later, 22 hours after the original post[^] [v] #458,003
It was a Sunday, postmortem was getting ready for church. He loved Jesus, and prayed everyday the cigarettes would kill him faster so he could smoke with Jesus in heaven. He packed his Newports and went to church. The choir started singing and he thought he saw an angel. He approached the girl after church and introduced himself. 'Hi my name is John, I have a 3.5 inch penis. Want to be my waifu'. The girl flapped her arms. 'My name is Lexi, lets go to the Cheese Factory even though I don't like it'...
!hEyBrieeXM joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 3 minutes later, 22 hours after the original post[^] [v] #458,004
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 55 minutes later, 23 hours after the original post[^] [v] #458,008
I am overwhelmed by the sheer quality of this work. Yet another masterpiece, OP.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #458,012
John bought the cheapest meal he knew Lexi would hate. They ate the disgusting cakes of cheese, and paid the bill. 'Aren't you going to tip?' Lexi inquired. Postmortem wrote a bible quote and exited. 'Fuck no' he said. 'They live in mansions'. John checked his cigarettes. Only 27 left. He needed to get to the store. 'Get in the car, cupcake' he shouted. They then drove off. 'John! You're driving too fast!' Lexi screamed. 'I have to get to the store before they close' postmortem retorted. John opened the glove compartment and took a swig of liquor and a drag of marijuana. He got out his phone and phoned the store and told them to stay open as he needed his cigs. 'Stop the car John'. Postmortem stopped the car. 'You have to choose between the cigarettes and me'. Lexi said trying to take postmortems phone. 'You are possessed by the devil!' he shouted, as he crushed cupcake's hand trying to retrieve his phone...
(Edited 56 seconds later.)
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 11 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #458,014
Postmortem got to the store, but was dismayed when he found it was closed. He drove back home. He hit a kid on the way. 'Oh shit! I'm in serious trouble!' he exclaimed. 'I better reverse to make sure the little shit doesn't snitch doesn't report me to the cops'. He got home and switched on the tv. A breaking news story interrupted normal schedules. 'My fellow Americans! It is your president, Obama. Today is a triumphant day. We have made all tobacco products illegal'. John screamed in pure fury. But something was off. The clock said 6.66, metric time. Then Postmortem realized. He had travelled to a parallel universe.
Meta joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 32 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #458,016
@previous (A)Oh my god how did this happen??
I must know if he finds Newports™ in the alternate universe
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 13 years ago, 52 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #458,024
Oh my god! I am in shock. :o
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 20 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #458,027
Postmortem checked his pack. Still 27 cigarettes left. He knew what needed to be done. He must assassinate Obama, the antichrist and maybe this leap, would be the leap home. He packed his travel bag and hit the streets...
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #458,028
Postmortem needed his fix. He sought out some tobacco dealers. He recognized a familiar face. It was ks. 'Mes amis!' bellowed postmortem. Ks was startled. 'Do you have some gear?' questioned postmortem. Ks took a packet out of his leather jacket. 'This is some grade A golden virginia my friend. $30 for 10g'. Postmortem fumbled in his pocket and withdrew his money. 'I'll take it'. Ks was content. 'Hey kid. Want to take a ride?' ks asked postmortem.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 13 years ago, 3 days later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #458,496
op plz continue thanks
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 58 minutes later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #458,501
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 54 minutes later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #458,503
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 3 hours later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #458,511
Meta !PARAdoxiHw replied with this 13 years ago, 6 hours later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #458,528
Anonymous F replied with this 13 years ago, 14 minutes later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #458,529
@previous (Meta !PARAdoxiHw)
They would make the world better if theykilled thems upheld their promises?
They would make the world better if they
(Edited 41 seconds later.)
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 6 hours later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #458,538
Postmortem got on the bike and KS drove them to Kansas. They pulled up to an old shack. 'This', said KS 'is my tobacco garden'. Postmortem felt like Charlie in the chocolate factory, and he made a chocolate factory in his pants due to excitement. He saw tobacco plants growing and cigarettes growing from their leaves. His favorite brand was almost ripe. Newports. 'How much for 100 newports?' he asked. KS took out his gun...
Anonymous G replied with this 13 years ago, 11 minutes later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #458,540
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 8 hours later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #458,558
The Illuminati were surrounding the building. 'Shit' said KS, shooting at them. John packed as much cigarettes into his bag as he could. KS' tobacco garden was burning to the ground. 'We need to get to Washington' exclaimed john. KS Postmortem got on the bike and rode off. 'Where can a guy get a drink?' queried Postmortem. KS rode on with a sorrowful look on his face...
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 3 days later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #458,866
'Alcohol was made illegal after prohibition became a success in the 20s or 30s because I'm not an historian' said KS. Postmortem started having an epilepsy as he was angered at this universe. 'Fuck you universe!' he shouted. 'We must go to my special bear cave' KS said sombrely. 'There you must summon the cupcake tulpa to help you defeat Obama'. Postmortem took out a smoke. This was his density.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 13 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #458,868
Awwww yeah!
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #458,869
They got to the caves. 'Now to do the summoning ritual' said KS. 'You must text the number 666 every 3 minutes. And if you haven't heard from cupcake in 3 hours, you must break the hand off this Venus de Milo statue. Then you must eat this slice of cheesecake, smoke a Newport and not tip the bears'. Postmortem did all this and cupcake appeared to him in the form of a hologram only he could see and hear. 'I am the cupcake tulpa', it said.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #458,870
'John' said a voice, 'wake up, it's 8AM. Time for your medication'. John drearily got out of bed, dazed and confused. 'How are you this morning?' questioned the nurse. 'Where is KS and where is cupcake?'. The nurse shook her head. 'Oh John. We've been through this. They don't exist. Your delusions are getting worse. You need to see the doctor later'. This is a nightmare, thought John. But it got worse. He checked his pockets. 'Where the fuck are my cigarettes?!'
dw replied with this 13 years ago, 20 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #458,871
wow fucking twist
Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 2 days later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,142
@OP
Grate job, bud.
Grate job, bud.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,153
'John, wake up' said KS, shaking his penis. John was startled. 'Where are we?' he pondered. 'I spiked your cigarette with some meth' KS said and cheekily slapped his bum. The cupcake tulpa comforted John. 'We must go to Washington' John said. KS took out a few bottles of clear liquid. 'Just a few bottles of alcohol and LSD' he said. 'Now lets hit the road'.
(Edited 16 seconds later.)
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,160
'The Doctor will see you now, John' said the nurse. John was dazed and confused. 'So John' said Dr Dreamworks. 'I here you are still having delusions'. John fumbled with his dressing gown. 'It's real' he replied. 'KS spiked my cigarette with meth. I'm imagining being in a psychiatric ward!'. Dr Dreamworks shook his heads. 'Your delusions are becoming too severe' he said. 'There are no such thing as cigarettes. I think the only option left is to administer electroconvulsive therapy'...
squeegee !first/o5zA joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 2 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,165
suddenly a giant squeegee appeared.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,171
KS parked his bike near the white house. He handed the bottles to John. 'I have to go now kid. My planet needs me'. He threw a gun to John. 'It has one bullet. Use it wisely'. Postmortem knocked on the White House door and Obama answered. John took out his gun...
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 10 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,172
'I'm going to kill you' said Postmortem. Obama wasn't phased. John took out a Parliament and smoked it. 'Looks like I'm burning down the parliament (Postmortem winks at the audience)'. Obama got out his Koran. 'Allah ackbar!' he shouted. John was ready to face the Antichrist. 'Son of Satan!' retorted John. Obama calmed down. 'Your mom' said Obama. John could feel the rage building. Obama repeated 'your mom never told you what happened to your father'. John was seething in rage. 'She told me he went to the store for cigarettes and never came back'. Obama shook his head. 'No, John. I am your father'...
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 13 years ago, 12 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,174
The cupcake tulpa appeared. 'John, you must kill him to get home'. John nodded. 'You are the Antichrist' John said. 'I am not the Antichrist' Obama retorted. 'Then why did you make tobacco illegal?' questioned John. Obama rolled a joint and took off his mask. 'Because I'm Falco bitch'...
Anonymous G replied with this 13 years ago, 18 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,175
This is not funny.
Stop wasting your time like this, op.
Stop wasting your time like this, op.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,176
John was perplexed. Falco shat himself. 'Pooped my president pants. Hasn't yours?'. Postmortem lit 3 Newports as he couldn't comprehend the plot twists and cliffhangers. He was in suspense. The cupcake tulpa spoke. 'John, I'm breaking up with you'. Postmortem finished his Newports. 'Oh no, I'm single again and I'm out of cigarettes'. John took out his gun and shot himself...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 13 years ago, 8 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,177
Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 12 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,222
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,232
'That concludes your electroconvulsive therapy, John' Dr dreamworks said. John walked back to his bed. Suddenly a dragon appeared. 'What, in oblivion, is that?' shouted Dr Dreamworks. Another patient took John by the hand. 'Quickly patient. The gods won't give us another chance!'...
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,233
'Out back is my scooter' said the man. John recognised the man. 'Who are you?'. The man did a twirl. 'I am Matthew Rosteet Miller. Don of the wine mafia. Do you know where I guy can get a drink around here?'.
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 13 years ago, 9 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,261
John got on the scooter. 'Does it have enough gas?' he asked. Matt smiled. 'It runs on poots' he replied. They drove for miles until John asked where they were going. Matt had a serious look on his face. 'You and I are both from the same universe. Cigarettes and alcohol were legal there. We must get back to our universe'. John was getting shaky due to nicotine withdrawal. 'Here, have a pack of Malboros' said Matt. John frowned. 'I smoke Newports. You smoke cocks', he said as he took the cigarettes anyway and lit up. 'We're off to see the wizard' said Matt.
Anonymous G replied with this 13 years ago, 46 seconds later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,262
Anonymous J replied with this 13 years ago, 5 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #459,303
Green (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 4 months later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #478,006
They drove until sunset and Matt dropped John off at a magical trans-dimesional bathroom. 'I must go now', said Matt, 'and liberate the lightbulbs'. John stepped into the bathroom and was transported into a basement. 'I am the grand wizard of Magic the Gathering' said a voice.
Anonymous K joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 6 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #478,088
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #478,097
Green (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 14 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #478,100
@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
For legal reasons, it's not technically Mark, it's a guy named the wizard.
For legal reasons, it's not technically Mark, it's a guy named the wizard.
Anonymous L joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #478,104
Anonymous M joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 2 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #478,111
A+!
Anonymous N joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 22 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #478,113
@478,104 (L)
> obeagles
1. someone thinks of a phrase
2. no one laughs
3. someone thinks forcing it is funny
4. autistic anons spam the entire board with it
5. mods do nothing
rinse and repeat
> obeagles
1. someone thinks of a phrase
2. no one laughs
3. someone thinks forcing it is funny
4. autistic anons spam the entire board with it
5. mods do nothing
rinse and repeat
Green (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 49 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #478,116
'I can send you home' said the wizard, 'but first you must play Magic the Gathering with me for 24 hours'. John started playing. Time went by slowly and seconds seemed like an eternity. After 10 minutes, John had had enough. 'Nerds!' bellowed John. 'Yugioh my waifu!' he said as he threw the deck of Yugioh. The wizard had a look that would make Medusa turn to stone. He grabbed his Yarmukle. 'Smithers' he said, 'release the hounds'...
AEROSPACE ngresons !iH0dKz0pn2 joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 5 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #478,147
Green (OP) replied with this 12 years ago, 2 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #478,194
'This is one shit-pickle of a salami sandwich' said John as he walked away from the dogs. No matter how fast he walked away from the dogs, they weren't far behind. After a mile, John needed a rest. He got out his binoculars. 'Shit' he thought. The dogs were less than half a mile away. 'What breed are they?' pondered John. He looked through the binoculars again. They were obese beagles. Obeagles. And they were catching up fast. John jogged and put a distance of 2 miles between him and the Obeagles. 'Fuck this' said John, 'due to shitty writing, I'm going to break the fourth wall and tell you this is not a tense action scene. Fuck it. I'm goint to light up a cigarette and wait for the Obeagles to catch up to make it more tense'...
Green (OP) double-posted this 12 years ago, 34 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #478,201
John had almost finished his cigarette and Marc's obeagles were but inches away. 'Oh shit' said John as he lit up another cigarette 'these beagles are unstoppable'. John was cornered when a glamourous figure appeared from the sky. 'I am Becky, the warrior queen. My army of cats will protect you, John'...
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 12 years ago, 5 days later, 5 months after the original post[^] [v] #479,065
A war between the cats and obeagles broke out. 'How do I stop this?' questioned John. Ks appeared on his bike. 'The only way to stop this is to find Jesus and kill Obama' replied ks. Ks then got out a gun and shot John in the head.
Anonymous P joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 1 year later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #602,112
bump
sage joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 5 hours later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #602,162
sage
Killer Lettuce?? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #602,175
Wait, fuck, so was this continued in another thread or what?
Anonymous R joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 40 minutes later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #602,186
John started to have a seizure. 'Where am I?' he asked in a daze. A manly hand rubbed his shoulder, 'it's ok John, you were tripping on LSD'. John cried a river of tears as he gazed into Ks' wise face. 'My whole life has been a lie?' John queried. Suddenly, John's ceiling fell down, 'halt. Postmortem you must die, I am Matt the obese'...
Anonymous R double-posted this 11 years ago, 54 seconds later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #602,187
@602,175 (Killer Lettuce?? !!iNo3FkiZx)
I meant to finish this fanfic, but I think I had to stop due to the numerous court cases.
I meant to finish this fanfic, but I think I had to stop due to the numerous court cases.
Anonymous R triple-posted this 11 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #602,189
'Fuck you, you fat fuck' Ks said as he punched Matt in the nose, 'John, we must start up a meth business'. Matt twirled his cape, 'one day I will be the antichrist and destroy the oppressive chinese bastards'. 'What is going on?' asked John in a panicked tone, 'is this the real life'. Ks firmly grabbed John and shook him hard, 'no this is just fantasy!' shouted Ks. Ks then strangled John to death...
Anonymous R quadruple-posted this 11 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #602,190
John woke up in his bed, 'so it was all a dream' he said. John lit up a Newport and savoured the smoke. However, his smoking was cut short when a squad of autistic penguins crashed in through his window. 'We will take you to Antarctica, where you can smoke no more!' said the lead penguin. John became enraged that his cigarette was cut short, he went up to the lead penguin and broke his flipper. Suddenly the penguin pulled out a rifle. John lit up another cigarette as he realised his demise...
Anonymous R quintuple-posted this 11 years ago, 16 minutes later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #602,191
Suddenly a macho man shot all the penguins with an AK-47. Postmortem breathed a sigh of relief, 'Ks'. John was still dazed and confused, 'what is going on? What is reality?'. Ks went up to John and slapped him, 'John, I am your father'. John cried tears of happiness, 'no lol. John, we must start a meth business'. John shrugged and then punched the wall, 'what is going on?'. Ks shook John, 'John, your father is M. Night Shyamalan, he is responsible for all these plot twists in your life. We must kill him before the plot twists get out of control. Then, you can finally smoke in peace and we can start a meth business'...
Anonymous R sextuple-posted this 11 years ago, 13 minutes later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #602,195
Postmortem got on Ks' bike, 'John, we must go to the gay pride parade in San Francisco and start a meth business'. The duo rode on, however the autistic penguins were hot on their heels. 'We'll head through the portal and we'll all go home' said Ks. John loaded his SMG and shot at the penguins. Ks took off his helmet and looked John in the face, 'John, the autism is coming'. Ks then veered his bike into a gas (petrol) tanker and the bike blew up in a fiery explosion...
Anonymous D replied with this 11 years ago, 23 minutes later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #602,198
Anonymous S joined in and replied with this 11 years ago, 12 hours later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #602,298
lol
Anonymous R replied with this 11 years ago, 4 hours later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #602,347
John woke up dazed and confused, 'where am I?' he asked drearily, 'what the-' he felt restraint. 'You're in a straightjacket my friend' said a voice. 'Who are you?' Postmortem John asked. 'My name is Brie and I am here because they don't know of my power. One day, I will be an oracle, Quick the nurse is coming'. The nurse,was carrying a hypodermic syringe, 'you fucking troll, you are severely delusional and you will smoke no more. I, the great and mighty Dr Roberts, will deal with you'...
Anonymous R double-posted this 11 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #602,348
Dr Roberts tapped his needle, but suddenly a patient knocked him unconscious, 'John, we need to start a meth business' said the patient. John breathed a sigh of relief, 'Ks!'. Brie took out his swiss army knife and freed Postmortem, 'quick prisoner, the gods won't give us another chance'. Brie went into the TV room, ripped the TV out of the wall and threw it through the window. 'Where do we go?' queried John, 'we need to stop Shyamalan'. Brie tipped his fedora, 'there is only one place he could be. We need to get to Cornwall'...
Anonymous R triple-posted this 11 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #602,350
The party stopped a car and threw the driver out. They then proceeded to drive to the airport. 'How do we get a plane?' asked John. Brie winked, 'leave it to me'. Brie opened his trenchcoat revealing his jihad, 'WE'RE MUSLIMS!' he shouted. The airport went into a panic. 'Lets move' said Ks. Ks ran into security and broke their necks. He took their guns and tossed them to Brie and Postmortem. The party ran onto a plane and Ks started to pilot it to Cornwall...
Anonymous R quadruple-posted this 11 years ago, 3 days later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #603,657
'We're going in hot!' shouted Ks. The party crashed in Cornwall and Ks found a dirtbike. 'Onwards to the castle and Shayamalanm' said Brie. The party beefed it up on the highway. Suddenly, a tractor apprehended them and a farmer got off. 'Civilian, my name is Killer Lettuce. We are currently at war with moths. I suggest you turn back', Ks spat his gum on the floor, 'fuck your authoritah!' he said and biked on. The party made it the fucking castle and went to the gates. 'Let me take care of the guards' said Brie as he took care of the guards with magic and shit, The party ventured into the castle and approached Shamanylamam on his throne...
Anonymous R quintuple-posted this 11 years ago, 18 minutes later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #603,660
'Shaman, we are here to stop you and you shitty plot twists' shouted Ks. Shyamalan merely laughed, 'haha, I am a genius, nay, I am a fucking god. My plot twists are sheer divinity. Aliens, deal with them!'. Aliens started to pursue the party. Ks kicked over a wooden table and the party hid behind it. The aliens tried to get to the party, but the wood perplexed them. Postmortem went to the water dispenser and poured a glass of water and then splashed it on the aliens; melting them. 'Ah, you may have beaten my aliens, but can you beat my middle-aged ghost that stalks a young boy?' said Shyamalan. 'Matt?' asked Ks, 'no, Bruce Willis' replied Shyamalan indignantly. Brie hoovered the ghost up because it was a shitty overrated movie. Ks approached Shyamalan. 'No wait, I have plenty more twists!' said Shyamalan desperately, 'the final twist is the one I make in your neck' said Ks as he snapped Shyamalan's neck. Postmortem breathed a sigh of relief, 'it is finally over'. Ks nodded, 'John, it is time we started that fucking meth business'...
Killer Lettuce?? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 8 minutes later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #603,663
Anonymous R replied with this 11 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #603,664
@previous (Killer Lettuce?? !!iNo3FkiZx)
The biggest twist is that my antivirus just said 'Private info found: Shaman, we,are her to'. I think my antivirus may be a malware.
The biggest twist is that my antivirus just said 'Private info found: Shaman, we,are her to'. I think my antivirus may be a malware.
Anonymous R double-posted this 11 years ago, 9 minutes later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #603,667
Epilogue
Ks and Postmortem were sitting in their underwear in a caravan.
'Well John, we've finally done it. We've made our first batch of meth. Postmortem nodded, 'yes but now we need to sell it'. Ks chuckled, 'we'll just sell it to some pussy ass school children'. Postmortem shook his head, 'it isn't that easy, the wine mafia controls most of south USA, and apparently the cider cartel, run by Green and Falco, is making it's mark'. Ks just shrugged, 'we can easily take care of a wine mafia and these cider cartel goons; Falco and Green, sound like pussies'. Postmortem gasped, 'the wine mafia is run by a notorious terrorist who plans to expand his operations to China. And Falco and Green are planetary heroes'. Ks just shrugged and giggled, 'fuck 'em all. I will take those pussies down myself. The meth most flow'...
The End
Ks and Postmortem were sitting in their underwear in a caravan.
'Well John, we've finally done it. We've made our first batch of meth. Postmortem nodded, 'yes but now we need to sell it'. Ks chuckled, 'we'll just sell it to some pussy ass school children'. Postmortem shook his head, 'it isn't that easy, the wine mafia controls most of south USA, and apparently the cider cartel, run by Green and Falco, is making it's mark'. Ks just shrugged, 'we can easily take care of a wine mafia and these cider cartel goons; Falco and Green, sound like pussies'. Postmortem gasped, 'the wine mafia is run by a notorious terrorist who plans to expand his operations to China. And Falco and Green are planetary heroes'. Ks just shrugged and giggled, 'fuck 'em all. I will take those pussies down myself. The meth most flow'...
The End
(Edited 19 seconds later.)
Killer Lettuce?? !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 11 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #603,668
@previous (R)
:')
I love the ending. It wraps up things nicely for the characters, and respectfully introduces an interesting sequel hook. You've done well, m8.
:')
I love the ending. It wraps up things nicely for the characters, and respectfully introduces an interesting sequel hook. You've done well, m8.
Anonymous R replied with this 11 years ago, 14 minutes later, 1 year after the original post[^] [v] #603,671
@previous (Killer Lettuce?? !!iNo3FkiZx)
I done drank me Frosty Jack, but The Quest for Smokes 2 will involve a drug war.
I done drank me Frosty Jack, but The Quest for Smokes 2 will involve a drug war.