Topic: Minichan fanfic. Minichanfic.
Anonymous A started this discussion 10.7 years ago #32,556
The Prologue
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 10.7 years ago, 9 minutes later[^] [v] #454,365
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 10.7 years ago, 6 minutes later, 15 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #454,366
The letter h
Falco woke up at his filthy desk covered in resin. He found his joint and started blazing up. He walked to his mailbox and was surprised to find a letter. He opened it and all it said was 'h'. Falco knew what this meant. He trembled in fear and homosexuality. He immediately ran into the house and OD'd on 5 marijuanas. RIP Falco.
Falco woke up at his filthy desk covered in resin. He found his joint and started blazing up. He walked to his mailbox and was surprised to find a letter. He opened it and all it said was 'h'. Falco knew what this meant. He trembled in fear and homosexuality. He immediately ran into the house and OD'd on 5 marijuanas. RIP Falco.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 10.7 years ago, 4 minutes later, 20 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #454,367
Postmortem was down to 96 cigarettes. This was an emergency! He rushed to the store, lighting up as he did. When a mysterious cloaked figure threw a piece of paper at him and disappeared. Postmortem opened it up and saw the letter 'h'. He immediately summoned his tulpa and broke her hand.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 10.7 years ago, 20 minutes later, 40 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #454,368
I genuinely lol'd. You sir are and comedian.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 10.7 years ago, 24 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #454,373
Brie was having breakfast at the maximum security psychiatric hospital. One of the nurses came to Brie with a letter. The nurse looked over Brie as he opened the letter to make sure he didn't hurt himself on the sharp edges. Brie looked at it in horror as his eyes glanced at 'h'. Brie ran to the communal room, picked up the tv and threw it through the window, making a daring escape.
squeegee !first/o5zA joined in and replied with this 10.7 years ago, 3 hours later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,418
squeegee was h
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 10.7 years ago, 21 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,420
Squeegee was attending to a taxidermy. After he finished, the cat started speaking. It said 'meow h'. Squeegee became so terrified he taxidermied himself. RIP Squeegee.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 10.7 years ago, 1 hour later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,426
Green awoke on a park bench and reached for his Tesco value cider. He was evicted from his flat, but if he could check the post, he would have found a letter saying 'h'. Green just continued to drink Tesco value cider and died. RIP Green.
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,427
Walter had ordered 10 cheeseburgers. He sat down and got ready for his breakfast. As he unwrapped them, he noticed that ChEESBURGER had a small h. He knew what this meant and overdosed on McDonalds. RIP Walter.
Anonymous A (OP) quadruple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,428
Killer Lettuce was driving his tractor into uni, playing S-Club 7 on his boombox. When he noticed that everyone was wearing a t-shirt with the letter h. He crashed his tractor into the swimming pool and drowned. RIP Killer Lettuce.
TTEH !JXsxEkDBLs joined in and replied with this 10.7 years ago, 6 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,429
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 10.7 years ago, 23 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,430
Meta was riding his pickup truck, travelling to the steakhouse before church. 'Howdy y'all!' he said as he ordered a 14lb steak. He then drove to the church. 'I love y'all Jesus!' he shouted as he arrived at church. But as he entered, he was shocked to see the words 'Jesus h Christ'.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 10.7 years ago, 36 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,431
And everyone else on Minichan got a letter saying h.
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 3 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,433
The Voyage to Iran
Falco woke up in the hospital. He was treated with a marijuana antidote, more marijuana. He blazed up saying 'smoke weed everyday'. He pondered the meaning of h. Then he realised what it meant. He needed to go to Iran. But first, he needed to find his old partner.
Falco woke up in the hospital. He was treated with a marijuana antidote, more marijuana. He blazed up saying 'smoke weed everyday'. He pondered the meaning of h. Then he realised what it meant. He needed to go to Iran. But first, he needed to find his old partner.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 10.7 years ago, 1 hour later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,449
Any theories on the one who's sending the h letters? I'm thinking it's stal, but Syntax is plausible too.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx double-posted this 10.7 years ago, 11 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,450
Bonus third-party story (this takes place during the prologue):
Fake anon was at the national MtG championships. He had made it to the final round and was about to take victory. However, the next card he drew was blank apart from a single h. Fake anon was shaken to his Jewish core by this ghastly revelation, and experienced a fatal buildup of shalom energy. As he was about to go boom, Fake anon decided to end his life by uttering the famous Aristotle quote: "What is love? Baby don't hurt me." he then exploded. Thankfully, after consulting the erratas, the judges found this to be a legal move and declared Fake anon the winner.
Fake anon was at the national MtG championships. He had made it to the final round and was about to take victory. However, the next card he drew was blank apart from a single h. Fake anon was shaken to his Jewish core by this ghastly revelation, and experienced a fatal buildup of shalom energy. As he was about to go boom, Fake anon decided to end his life by uttering the famous Aristotle quote: "What is love? Baby don't hurt me." he then exploded. Thankfully, after consulting the erratas, the judges found this to be a legal move and declared Fake anon the winner.
(Edited 2 minutes later.)
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 10.7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,452
Falco used his mighty penis as a helicopter to get him to England, where he picked up Green in a field. They then flew to Cornwall and saved KillerLettuce. 'Argh. Me gibbers be me wabknockers' thanked KillerLettuce. Falco got out a box. 'This is the one Minichan lunchbox. We must get it to Iran without the Antichrist knowing or darkness shall spread over the world. Only the fires of Iran can destroy it. You must not open it'. Our trio then set off on the voyage to Iran.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 10.7 years ago, 47 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,461
Killer Lettuce can finish this.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 10.7 years ago, 4 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,462
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 10.7 years ago, 25 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,467
Dead !Pool..v42s joined in and replied with this 10.7 years ago, 3 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,469
Who cares about all the other characters Deadpool is the fucking guy to pay attention to, that guy is so twisted in his own head he wonders if he's really the only one in his dome at once
Dead !Pool..v42s double-posted this 10.7 years ago, 41 seconds later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #454,470
Chimmichangas
(Edited 34 seconds later.)
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 10.7 years ago, 23 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #454,622
op plz continue :(
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 10.7 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #454,623
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 10.7 years ago, 8 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #454,624
@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
No, you just made for an interesting protagonist for a Minichan fanfic!
No, you just made for an interesting protagonist for a Minichan fanfic!
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 10.7 years ago, 2 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #454,625
Meanwhile, Matt felt a stirring in his soul, he knew he had to save Walter. He scootered on to a ferry and headed to America. However, he was being tailed by Syntax. 'I fownd u using my 10 myle satelites'. Matt pushed the transformed his scooter into a jetski. Matt gained speed, losing his obsessed stalker, and made land on America.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 10.7 years ago, 1 day later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,820
My soul hungers for McWalter
Matt knew his first port of call was McDonalds. He needed help from his lover McWalter, the McDon. Matt searched high and low for McDonalds in New York. Finally, he had a bountiful fruitful of McWalter. 'McWalter, you am choke' Matt said hysterically. Matt's heart pounded, he had to save Walter. Matt took out his McBook and used the CPR app to save McWalter. But he was too late. McWalter had died. Matt ripped his shirt and cursed the universe. Suddenly, McWalter moved. 'Dat was a nice nap' he said, 'but boy! Am I hungry!'.
Matt knew his first port of call was McDonalds. He needed help from his lover McWalter, the McDon. Matt searched high and low for McDonalds in New York. Finally, he had a bountiful fruitful of McWalter. 'McWalter, you am choke' Matt said hysterically. Matt's heart pounded, he had to save Walter. Matt took out his McBook and used the CPR app to save McWalter. But he was too late. McWalter had died. Matt ripped his shirt and cursed the universe. Suddenly, McWalter moved. 'Dat was a nice nap' he said, 'but boy! Am I hungry!'.
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 5 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,822
Say cheese for the camera
Brie dashed away from the psychologists. He needed to regain his powers. He went to the pharmacy and bought 8 bottles of robitussin. He drank them and then turned into his superhero alter ego, cheeseman. I will not be doing a lot of character development. Other characters will be getting a more developed arc, but I have run out of ideas.
Brie dashed away from the psychologists. He needed to regain his powers. He went to the pharmacy and bought 8 bottles of robitussin. He drank them and then turned into his superhero alter ego, cheeseman. I will not be doing a lot of character development. Other characters will be getting a more developed arc, but I have run out of ideas.
Anonymous A (OP) quadruple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,824
He's smoking now
'Fuck it, I'm speeding' Postmortem decided. He was down to 90 cigarettes and needed to get to the store for more. 'Oh shit, the police' Postmortem said as he lit up. He got an uzi off the back seat and shot out the police car's tyres. 'That car is beyond death', he said with a nefarious tone of voice, 'in fact, it's post mortem'. Little did he know, that policeman worked for h.
'Fuck it, I'm speeding' Postmortem decided. He was down to 90 cigarettes and needed to get to the store for more. 'Oh shit, the police' Postmortem said as he lit up. He got an uzi off the back seat and shot out the police car's tyres. 'That car is beyond death', he said with a nefarious tone of voice, 'in fact, it's post mortem'. Little did he know, that policeman worked for h.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 10.7 years ago, 2 hours later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,840
This is literally fantastic.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 10.7 years ago, 29 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,843
Postmortem drived faster. The h agents closing in on him. 'Need some help?' queried a biker riding alongside Postmortem. It was ks. He pulled out a shotgun and blew up a police car. 'Jump on'. Postmortem put the car into cruise control and jumped on the bike with ks. The h agents chased them. 'Lets blow this joint' ks said adamantly. They sped up. Behind them the h agents closed in, but Postmortem's car veered into a gas station, leaving the h agents in a blazing inferno. 'Yippee ky yay motherfuckers' ks said.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 10.7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,844
Squeegee needed to perform more taxidermies on cats. Then he remembered a cat lady on Minichan. 'I've found my gold' said Squeegee, readying a needle and leaving his humble abode...
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,845
Falco, Green and KillerLettuce hijacked a plane and flew it to Iran. Unfortunately, Falco made an accident in the cockpit and the plane crashed in turkey. They would have to walk to Iran. 'Pooped my pant. Hasn't yours?' Falco proclaimed. Unfortunately everyone in turkey was Anonymous C. And they were after blood...
Anonymous A (OP) quadruple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,846
Driving in Michigan
'We must get to Iran' Matt said hastily. 'A great source of evil has awakened or awoken, I am not sure which word to use'. Walter pulled out a burger 'sounds whimsical' he said with an air of apathy. 'I have a contact who has a a blimp. We need to get to Michigan'. Walter raged with the force of 1000 suns. 'Ok, but you better drive'.
'We must get to Iran' Matt said hastily. 'A great source of evil has awakened or awoken, I am not sure which word to use'. Walter pulled out a burger 'sounds whimsical' he said with an air of apathy. 'I have a contact who has a a blimp. We need to get to Michigan'. Walter raged with the force of 1000 suns. 'Ok, but you better drive'.
Anonymous A (OP) quintuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 17 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,847
Meta needed a new ride. 'I'll drop in and see Harley and Krodan'. He arrived at their house and Harley ambushed him with cakes. 'Well howdy!' said meta 'praise the good lord! Where is Krodan?'. 'He is playing with paco'. Meta had to leave as he needed to get to Iran on a missionary mission. 'Can I borrow your car?', he questioned. 'Harley pondered'. Harley said 'yes'. Then meta drove the car to Michigan. 'Thank the good lord Jesus. And thank you Harley and Krodan for making a cameo. I think everyone will be making a cameo before the end of the story' said meta.
Anonymous A (OP) sextuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 6 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,849
'Fuck driving in Michigan' Walter mumbled as Matt drove his scooter around Michigan. 'I'm starving' said Walter. Matt stopped near a hotdog stand. 'Fagtardicus' and Phallus99's Unlimited Hotdogs' was written under the stand. 'Lets make a bet, it will clear my debt' said Matt. 'Fagtardicus', Matt exclaimed. 'I bet you $1000000 my boy Walter can eat all your unlimited hotdogs'. Fagtardicus accepted the bet. Walter opened his mouth, his belly was ready.
Anonymous A (OP) septuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 20 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,854
The Anarchy of Anonymous C's Army
'There are turkeys everywhere' shouted KillerLettuce. 'We're doomed' Falco said in desperation. 'I have a bleddy plan' retorted KillerLettuce. 'Chickens, I summon thee', thus a chicken army, thwarted Anonymous C. 'We must make haste to Iran' said Falco. Behind them they heard a smash of glass. 'You came to the wrong hood. Crackers'...
'There are turkeys everywhere' shouted KillerLettuce. 'We're doomed' Falco said in desperation. 'I have a bleddy plan' retorted KillerLettuce. 'Chickens, I summon thee', thus a chicken army, thwarted Anonymous C. 'We must make haste to Iran' said Falco. Behind them they heard a smash of glass. 'You came to the wrong hood. Crackers'...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 10.7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,855
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 10.7 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,856
'We must get to Iran' said KS. Postmortem lit a cigarette. 'Those are bad for you. Here I know shortcut'. KS handed Postmortem some crystals and they made haste to the dragon. 'There are turkeys everywhere' said Postmortem. KS laughed 'they are jive turkeys. And it's thanksgiving. Lets turn the turkeys into peace' said KS.
(Edited 39 seconds later.)
Anonymous C (OP) double-posted this 10.7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,857
@454,855 (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
I just realized that you are Anonymous C in this thread. You have created a paradoxical plothole, which I have created a solution to.
I just realized that you are Anonymous C in this thread. You have created a paradoxical plothole, which I have created a solution to.
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 10.7 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,858
Anonymous C replied with this 10.7 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,859
Anonymous C (OP) replied with this 10.7 years ago, 5 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,860
The Guru McWalter makes a science
Walter had eaten his 180056th hotdog. When a thought occurred to him; the grains of sand on a beach may seem infinite, but they can be counted and found not to be so. Given that the universe seems infinite, there are a limited number of atoms in the universe, there can be no such thing as 'unlimited hotdogs'. Walter threw down the hotdogs and put on his thinking cap, his pink thinking cap. 'These are limited hotdogs' he shouted. 'There are a finite number of atoms in the universe. Meaning there are a finite number of atoms to make the hotdogs with. Even if new atoms are created, the universe will end one day, meaning there will be no more atoms to make hotdogs with. These are not unlimited hotdogs, and I am going to release this scandal to the public!'.
Walter had eaten his 180056th hotdog. When a thought occurred to him; the grains of sand on a beach may seem infinite, but they can be counted and found not to be so. Given that the universe seems infinite, there are a limited number of atoms in the universe, there can be no such thing as 'unlimited hotdogs'. Walter threw down the hotdogs and put on his thinking cap, his pink thinking cap. 'These are limited hotdogs' he shouted. 'There are a finite number of atoms in the universe. Meaning there are a finite number of atoms to make the hotdogs with. Even if new atoms are created, the universe will end one day, meaning there will be no more atoms to make hotdogs with. These are not unlimited hotdogs, and I am going to release this scandal to the public!'.
Anonymous C (OP) double-posted this 10.7 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,861
Squeegee crept to the cat lady's apartment and peered in. 'Cats everywhere' he said, wringing his hands in malicious glee. When suddenly the lady came out. 'I am Becky, and not are going to face the wrath of Cat!'.
(Edited 28 seconds later.)
Anonymous C (OP) triple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,862
Sim and TTEH were shopping at ASDA and had a good day.
Anonymous C (OP) quadruple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 5 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,863
'Sup dawgs. It's your homie henn here. What going down?'. Henn noticed all the turkeys. 'Ah sheeit' he said. KillerLettuce looked on as his chicken army were failing against the turkeys. Henn stood up and turned into a giant hen. 'Time to kick some turkey butt'. Henn fought valiantly against the turkey menace, roasting them. 'I AM HENN, LORD OF THE COCKS!' he bellowed.
Anonymous C (OP) quintuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 7 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,864
'Shit. This isn't Iran' said KS as he crashed the dragon. 'There's snow everywhere'. He cursed at his dragon which turned into his motorcycle. 'Where are we?' Postmortem questioned. An Indian girl walked up to them. 'You're in Canada ay. My name is Triptych'. Suddenly, they heard glass smash on the floor. 'you've..come to....the wrong..neighborhood. whackers..'....
(Edited 39 seconds later.)
Anonymous C (OP) sextuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 10 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,865
'Fuck it, we're out of here', KS said as he put meth into his motorbike and fixed it. 'This type of drama belongs on a site of lower quality'*. Postmortem and KS rode the bike to the airport. 'Ooh! Burn!' said Postmortem as he stubbed a cigarette out on his hand.
(Edited 3 minutes later.)
Anonymous C (OP) septuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 6 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,866
*Author's note; I have no discrepancies with the site KS may be describing or it's affiliates, but in a 2012 census, 9/11 people voted Minichan to be the source of all the highest quality material on the internet.
Anonymous C (OP) octuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 18 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,867
Fagtardicus gave Matt and Walter $1000000 for solving their hotdog riddle. They bought jetpacks and headed off to Iran. On their way, they saw a girl with ginger hair in distress. They stopped and asked what the problem was. 'I'm being stalked by some crazy guy'. Matt scooped her in his arms. 'I will take you to Iran. You will be safe there'. And so, our trio of heroes headed to Iran and towards the vast expanse of the ocean. 'Eye think thee, thy or I shall stop there'. Matt ejaculated in horror. Syntax was on a hoverboard. With him was a silhouetted figure. 'I am Leonidas. We are team stalker, and I demand you hand over salty!'.
Anonymous C (OP) nonuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 10 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,868
I'm going on strike. We fanfic writers demand 567 bitcoins to continue the story.
Anonymous C (OP) decuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 6 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,871
Henn, Falco, Green and KillerLettuce headed to Iran, but they had to pass through Israel to get to Iran. 'Shalom' said a familiar voice. It was Fake Anon and he was having his Bar Mitzvah. 'I am a man today' he said. He gave our heroes a car (I'm not going to write too much, lest I seem anti-semitic), and our heroes drove to Iran. Hurray.
Anonymous C (OP) undecuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,873
Becky's army of cats chased Squeegee. However, one cat was sneakier than the rest. That cat was a transvestite cat named Catherine. Catherine was an awesome cat. Squeegee repented his decadent taxidermy ways and became first.
Anonymous C (OP) duodecuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,874
KS went full throttle and landed his bike on a blimp due to poor writing, lack of consistency and many plotholes due to the writer. KS used his grappling hook and took command of the blimp. Postmortem resisted the urge to light a cigarette, otherwise the blimp would have blown up.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 10.7 years ago, 5 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,875
Anonymous C (OP) replied with this 10.7 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,876
Matt and Walter sped across the sea, evading syntax. However, a masked crusader was on a jetski and he had the power glove. He shot pure beams of Nintendo quality at syntax and Leonidas, blowing up their hoverboard. 'Thank you dreamworks' Matt said. Dreamworks got out a net. 'It was no problem. I'm looking for fish to fill my aquarium!'. Matt and Walter were reaching Iran. They could sense the evil approaching. Finally, they would understand h...
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 10.7 years ago, 11 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,877
Time for Plan h
Everyone on Minichan had finally made it too Iran. As they entered, topics appeared on Minichan leading them to a secret underground volcano. 'Ye gabbers. We need to throw the Minichan lunchbox into the fire to stop the evil' chirpped KillerLettuce. Walter swiped the lunchbox 'my precious' he said. 'Anybody want to buy some meth' enquired KS. Postmortem threw his lighters into the magma. 'Fuck those. Lighting my cigarette with lava looks cooler, if a little pretentious'. Walter threw the Minichan lunchbox into the lava. 'There was no food in there'. Suddenly, a loud thump. 'Welcome, my decadent statist friends. It is I, sK, and you're about to learn the meaning of h'...
Everyone on Minichan had finally made it too Iran. As they entered, topics appeared on Minichan leading them to a secret underground volcano. 'Ye gabbers. We need to throw the Minichan lunchbox into the fire to stop the evil' chirpped KillerLettuce. Walter swiped the lunchbox 'my precious' he said. 'Anybody want to buy some meth' enquired KS. Postmortem threw his lighters into the magma. 'Fuck those. Lighting my cigarette with lava looks cooler, if a little pretentious'. Walter threw the Minichan lunchbox into the lava. 'There was no food in there'. Suddenly, a loud thump. 'Welcome, my decadent statist friends. It is I, sK, and you're about to learn the meaning of h'...
(Edited 3 minutes later.)
Anonymous A (OP) triple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 12 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,882
Banned From Life Show
It's your hosts Leo Vegas and Fats Fergusson. I'm on so many drugs I don't know what's happening. Our heroes went on an arduous journey to Iraq to fight a dragon. No, they went to Iran to fight sK. What is his plan? What is h? Stay tuned and don't touch that di di di di dial.
It's your hosts Leo Vegas and Fats Fergusson. I'm on so many drugs I don't know what's happening. Our heroes went on an arduous journey to Iraq to fight a dragon. No, they went to Iran to fight sK. What is his plan? What is h? Stay tuned and don't touch that di di di di dial.
Anonymous A (OP) quadruple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 11 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,885
The Final Countdown
'I despise Minichan' said sk. 'So I came up with a simple plan. Destroy the world to destroy Minichan. Underneath this volcano is the world's largest hydrogen bomb. You shall watch as the world, and consequently, Minichan is destroyed!'...
'I despise Minichan' said sk. 'So I came up with a simple plan. Destroy the world to destroy Minichan. Underneath this volcano is the world's largest hydrogen bomb. You shall watch as the world, and consequently, Minichan is destroyed!'...
Anonymous A (OP) quintuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 28 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,888
sK pushed a countdown and the timer started. 'We're peepee and poopoo' Matt said. 'Pooped my pant' chimed in Falco. Kook was scare. FTD was trying on dresses. 'What the fuckers do we do' asked KillerLettuce. Meta replied 'we pray our lord Jesus saves us'. 'Am I close enough?' said a voice.
Anonymous A (OP) sextuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 5 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,889
It was ro4r. 'My children' she said. 'Although you are only my artificially intelligent constructs, I can not bare life without you. We can stop the nuclear explosion, but we need the holy Sprite'. KillerLettuce preferred coke or Pepsi. Then he remembered that Sprite was in the Minichan lunchbox. 'Oh fuck' he said 'the lunchbox is made of dolomite, so it will take a while to disintegrate in the magma. But someone needs to walk in there and get it. Who shall it be?'...
(Edited 32 seconds later.)
Anonymous A (OP) septuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 12 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,890
'We'll go' said nega and fuchs, 'for the glory of dutchland!'. Fuchs and nega walked into the lava and saved the Minichan lunchbox. Nega and Fuchs were dead. Ro4r. unpacked the Holy Sprite, bringing Fuchs and Nega back to life. Broseph wept. Mr Bones, Mr Misanthrope, Ph, Zimbolt, Jimmy and Homestar basked in the glory of ro4r. The countdown rolled down to 10 seconds...
Anonymous A (OP) octuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 18 hours later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,978
ro4r threw everyone a can of Sprite and everyone drank down. For once the whole of Minichan was united. They said in unison 'I don't give a fuck about your nuclear explosion, I was drinking Sprite when the fucking world blew up!' thus countering the nuclear reaction. 'Now to sK' said ro4r, but it wat too late, sK had fled...
Anonymous A (OP) nonuple-posted this 10.7 years ago, 4 minutes later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,979
Epilogue
The world was saved and everyone was happy. Killer Lettuce bought a whole farm and bred mutant chickens. Falco retired from fan fiction forever. Ro4r continued to update Minichan; even adding a PM feature! Meta became the pope. But what of sK? TCO and The Truth started a detective agency to track down this menace and pondered whether there would be a sequel...
The End
The world was saved and everyone was happy. Killer Lettuce bought a whole farm and bred mutant chickens. Falco retired from fan fiction forever. Ro4r continued to update Minichan; even adding a PM feature! Meta became the pope. But what of sK? TCO and The Truth started a detective agency to track down this menace and pondered whether there would be a sequel...
The End
dreamworks joined in and replied with this 10.7 years ago, 32 minutes later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,981
Wowowo
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 10.7 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,986
10/10, best fanfic on the Internet. I applauded IRL.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx double-posted this 10.7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #454,987
@454,877 (A)
> Postmortem threw his lighters into the magma. 'Fuck those. Lighting my cigarette with lava looks cooler, if a little pretentious'.
This part made me lol the most.
> Postmortem threw his lighters into the magma. 'Fuck those. Lighting my cigarette with lava looks cooler, if a little pretentious'.
This part made me lol the most.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx triple-posted this 9.5 years ago, 1.2 year later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,216
Bumping this so that Minichan's current generation can see its glory.
Green (OP) replied with this 9.5 years ago, 11 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,222
Parody joined in and replied with this 9.5 years ago, 21 seconds later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,224
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the time of disruption. It was the time of destruction. It was the era of growth. It was the era of decline. It was the time for new gamers. It was the time for old gamers. It was the first generation. It was the last generation. It was the beginning of gaming. It was the End of Gaming.
stolen
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Green (OP) replied with this 9.5 years ago, 21 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,235
Minichan Fanfic 2; The Sequel of Epic Consequences.
'It is almost finished, my lord' said an evil voice. 'Good' replied another man.
'It is almost finished, my lord' said an evil voice. 'Good' replied another man.
squeegee joined in and replied with this 9.5 years ago, 11 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,240
the other man was squeegee, and what was almost finished was his work day.
Anonymous Q (OP) replied with this 9.5 years ago, 11 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,246
'Where are we?' said Falco. A tall, handsome, muscular gentleman was standing over him. It was Green! 'We are in England' said Green. 'Falco looked dismayed. I thought I was retired from fanfics forever' he said. 'You're in it for one final score, then you're out of the game for good' retorted Green. 'Where are we?' said Falco. 'We are in England' said Green with a noble look, ' civil war has broken out. We must stop the blood-thirsty king of Cornwall!'.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.5 years ago, 21 hours later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,448
Oh my god, yes. The best fanfic on Minichan is getting a sequel!
This shit should be stickied.
This shit should be stickied.
Parody replied with this 9.5 years ago, 53 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,457
Green with a noble look Said: What bloody man is Falco? Civil war is upon us and the renegade band led by Killer Lettuces, bloody farm and bred mutant chickens, will burn and turn all Tesco's too, foul filthy air.
It's foul! It's not fair! At the beach or on the shore, its time to end this filthy war.
It's foul! It's not fair! At the beach or on the shore, its time to end this filthy war.
Green (OP) replied with this 9.5 years ago, 19 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,460
McWalter had just finished his 10 McDonalds Happy Meals. He wiped his mouth, and with a grin on his face said 'bum bum bum bum bum, I'm lovin it!'. He then proceeded to the exit when something alluring caught his eye. 'Shemale in yoga pants!', he murmurred excitedly. The shemale winked and said, 'follow me into the McToilet'. McWalter couldn't believe it. This was too good to be true, he thought. They went into went into the toilet and the shemale asked him; 'does this penis smell like chloroform?'. McWalter collapsed and the shemale took off their (gender neutral to prevent triggers) mask. 'Hahaha. Thee thy or peepee and poopoo 10 myle plan is coming 2gether!'.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Anonymous C replied with this 9.5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,461
Anonymous L joined in and replied with this 9.5 years ago, 28 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,463
Green (OP) replied with this 9.5 years ago, 14 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,465
Syntax had just finished his 10 mile run and was ready to surf. 'Thee thy or eye surf ocean o blue'. He got on his surfboard and started surfing. Then he had an idea. 'Eye am going 2 the falklands and wake it bak from the british' he said. He started surfing towards the falklands, but he felt a bit peckish. He started to head back towards land when another surfer crept up behind him. 'Surfs up old man' said the voice.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,466
@previous (Green)
Wait, shit, but wasn't that Syntax in the McToilet with McWalter?! Oh fuck, this is looking like it might be even deeper than the first Minichan fanfic...
Wait, shit, but wasn't that Syntax in the McToilet with McWalter?! Oh fuck, this is looking like it might be even deeper than the first Minichan fanfic...
Parody replied with this 9.5 years ago, 26 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,469
Wait a minute! Wait just a minute! You can say what you say about Syntax but you're not fooling anybody. Syntax is full of the milk of human kindness. Syntax would never even enter a McToilet as its not 10 myle clean enough for him. It's foul! It's fair! To call McToilet toilet full of filthy air!!!
Green (OP) replied with this 9.5 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,472
'This deal is going down!' Ks said. Postmortem was nervous. They had spent months building one of the largest meth empires in the USA. 'Ah. The buyer has arrived', said Ks, 'he is one of the richest entrepreneurs in Europe. If we form a partnership with him, we're set!'. Ks approached the man. 'Do you have the gear?' the man said. Ks pulled out a bag with the finest rainbow meth. 'Let's see the money' he retorted. The man opened a suitcase full of $100 bills. 'Sweet' said Ks, 'we have a deal!'. Ks went to shake the entrepreneur's hand, when suddenly the entrepreneur pulled out a gun. 'Freeze! DEA!'. Ks and Postmortem were startled. 'Uh oh spaghettios!' exclaimed Ks. 'Quick! On the bike. You drive John, I'll shoot!'. Ks and Postmortem got on their bike and started speeding off, but the DEA were on them like a McWalter after a Big Mac. 'What do we do?' Postmortem asked frantically. 'We've been set up!'. Ks kept his calm demeanour. 'Get to the choppa!' he shouted. 'We'll use it to make a clean escape'. Postmortem noticed something in the distance. 'No. I have a better idea'. He put the bike on full throttle. 'FUCK YOU CONVENIENCE STORE!' he bellowed as he crashed the bike into the store. The DEA closed in and took Postmortem and Ks into custody.
Anonymous M joined in and replied with this 9.5 years ago, 6 hours later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,545
h
Green (OP) replied with this 9.5 years ago, 7 hours later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,580
'Quickly!' to Cornwall, Green said. They reached the border of Cornwall. The Cornwelsh had barricade themselves for England with a giant wall of corn. 'I have the munchies!' screamed Falco as he ate his way through the corn wall. Then Falco and Green car-jacked a cow driving a tractor and headed for Merlin's Cave; where the evil king of Cornwall resideded. Falco shook his penis in awe. 'It's Killer Lettuce!' Falco exclaimed. Killer Lettuce finished maniacally painting his evil Warhammer figurines and bore a nefarious grin. 'You shall refer to me by the name Killfric Corncloak. Muahahaha!!.
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.5 years ago, 2 hours later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,592
Indy was beat. He had spent all day making 20kg of sausages by hand. He was sick of the life, but he held a secret. He was the head of the Falun Gafa Delong Kunming Branch. 'Now. For my attack' he said. He downed 6 bottles of cheap Chinese wine and got on his electric scooter. 'Goodbye cruel world!' he said as he crashed into a news stand. The next morning Indy found himself awake in his apartment, bound to a chair. A menacing figure towered over him. 'We have McWalter' said the man, 'if you want him back, you will pay the IRS $5000. If you don't comply, we will kill him'. Indy looked bemused. 'I don't care about typical USAmericans and their bland, uninspired food'. The man let out a brief laugh. 'But you will lose your McWalter shtick. You will pay the money by noon tomorrow. Any questions?'. A solemn look swept over Indy's face. 'Just one. Would you eat Emma Watson's girlshit?' Indy queried. The man hit Indy in the head, knocking him out.
Anonymous H replied with this 9.5 years ago, 10 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,593
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.5 years ago, 2 hours later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,640
Green (OP) replied with this 9.5 years ago, 2 hours later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,714
'You shall die here' said Killer Lettuce. 'You imperial English bastards should have never have messed with Cornwall!'. Falco smiled, 'Death to the Corncloaks!' he shouted. Killer Lettuce did a 360. 'I have stolen you ashtray Green. That is why it is hidden and had to use a fucking mug to smoke your cigarette whilst drunk. Also your fucking Walkman app on your brand new Sony phone won't let you rewind or fast forward songs; this really pisses me off. Anyway, you shall meet your doom! Tesco has betrayed you! Green. Bring out the Bella clone, my minions...'
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.5 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,715
'How we will escpape?' Postmortem asked frantically. Ks winked. 'Yo DEA', he shouted, 'this is not meth!'. Ks threw the meth on the ground. 'It's Skittles!'. The DEA agents kept slipping over the Skittles. 'Now we get to the chopper' Ks said as the helicopter hovered over them. Ks and Postmortem got on the chopper and made a clean escape.
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.5 years ago, 10 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,723
'Mr Indy' said a voice on Matt's computer screen, 'did you manage to scrape up $5000 for the IRS?'. Matt had an air of chivalry about him as he replied; 'I, in fact, did'. The man on the other side was overwhelmed with glee. 'So you'll use the money to free McWalter?'. Indy laughed. 'No. I spent the money on a fully rugged macbook pro and a genuine saddleback leather bag!'. The man had a look of disappointment on his face. 'Then McWalter will die!' he said.
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.5 years ago, 2 hours later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,783
'Holy shit!', exclaimed Ks, 'the fucking I am fucking pissed with your fucking derogatory comments. How dare you fucking say I look like a pedo. No. I can only afford Tesco brand glasses. And you call them pedo-glasses, how dare you, you cunts. These are the cheapest glasses I can afford. And yes, my hair is fucking short, but it was an accident you unsyathetic cunts. I got all my hair to a cool Grade 4. Then I realised I missed a spot. Then I saw my clipper comb was set to grade 1. It's not fucking funny you cunts. It's why my hair is so short.
Anonymous N joined in and replied with this 9.5 years ago, 3 hours later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,804
And Ks's diatribe was interrupted by Joe entering the room.Green (OP) replied with this 9.5 years ago, 4 hours later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,842
@529,783 (Green)
'Disregard my previous comment, John, I was drunk', said Ks. 'The helicopter has unexpectly blown up. We need to head to the train tracks and hop on a freight train'. Ks and Postmortem headed to the train tracks...
'Disregard my previous comment, John, I was drunk', said Ks. 'The helicopter has unexpectly blown up. We need to head to the train tracks and hop on a freight train'. Ks and Postmortem headed to the train tracks...
dw replied with this 9.5 years ago, 5 hours later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #529,864
The cat joined in and replied with this 9.5 years ago, 2 days later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #530,355
I haven't read any of this YET
The cat double-posted this 9.5 years ago, 54 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #530,371
This is not meth! It's Skittles! Green I fuckin' love you man I cannot stop lol'ing, if this were published I would pay fucking money to read it
Green (OP) replied with this 9.5 years ago, 13 hours later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #530,484
McWalter was crying. He was about to be kill. 'All I ever wanted was a supersize McDonalds in bed with a shemale in yoga pants'. A strange man walked in. 'My name is Bill. Your time is up. Indy hasn't paid your ransom. Your executioner is arriving' said Bill. Bill left and a man in rags with a genuine Saddleback leather bag entered. 'My name r Syndy the gr8. Would you eat Emma Watson's entire bowel movement? And thee thy or eye r ded ded ded! Peepee and poopoo'.
Harley !Quinn7Dxrw joined in and replied with this 9.5 years ago, 59 minutes later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #530,490
I made a cameo!
Green (OP) replied with this 9.5 years ago, 1 day later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #530,893
'Go Falco' said Green drunk, 'I'll handle this'. Falco scarpered, as he longed for the time. 'Bella you bitch' said Green, 'stop being better than me even though you are me I'm drunk'. Bella laughed. 'You should be a cis scum Green! You're a manly man with your beer and cigarettes, but your trash compared to the beautiful Bella'. Bella got out her fluffy pink handcuffs. 'Remeber buying these? Of course you don't, you were and are too drunk to remember. Now you're my prisoner'.
m0 !kHzdyTyGcs joined in and replied with this 9.5 years ago, 13 hours later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #531,027
hello
Anonymous R joined in and replied with this 9.5 years ago, 13 hours later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #531,167
tteh !FFSTTEHV7. replied with this 9.5 years ago, 1 day later, 1.2 year after the original post[^] [v] #531,439
Anonymous R replied with this 9.5 years ago, 23 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #531,632
Green (OP) replied with this 9.5 years ago, 14 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #531,719
An explosion rocked the wall next to McWalter and made a hole. 'Oh yeah!' said someone bursting through drinking a purple liquid. McWalter recognised them, it was Brie. 'I must save you McWalter', said Brie as he untied McWalter and threw DXM bottles at Syndy. McWalter and Brie escaped. 'I must go now' said Brie, 'my planet needs me. You must find the wizard and save the dragonborn'. McWalter nodded. He knew what he had to do. Brie beamed up to his spaceship and zoomed away.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.5 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #531,721
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 9.5 years ago, 4 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #531,791
'Now it's Reyn time'.
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) double-posted this 9.5 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #531,795
'What fucking train are we on?' exclaimed Postmortem? Ks shrugged. 'I don't know where we're going, but Sovrngarde awaits'. Ks and Postmortem jumped on the train and the conductor greeted them. 'Good day and welcome to to4str the tank engine. I have fitted the face place with lasers to blind kids before they reach the Mexican boarder. And you see the trains breaks? They haven't been painted!'. Ks has a seizure 'I'm too fucking drunk for this shit'. Postmortem stroked his penis cos he was meth. 'We'll be ok, we just need to reach the border'.
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) triple-posted this 9.5 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #531,801
McWalter made it to the MTG tournament, where the wizard resided. 'Fucking made it' said McWalter as he entered the basement. McWalter shouted out; 'yo Mark is it you, are you the wizard?'. Mark nodded, but he was too enthralled in his MTG game. 'Get me another cup of tea, nerd!', Mark said to his goyim slave. His goyim slave brought him his tea. Mark gulped it down. 'Yum. Delicious!. Wait what? Someone spiked this with a drop of milk! NOO!'. Mark imploded.
Anonymous S joined in and replied with this 9.4 years ago, 1 day later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,156
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 2 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,185
@previous (S)
KS and John were on the train. 'Hello. My name is to4str and you are aboard to4str the tank engine. The front of the train is fitted with lazers to stop children crossing the border'. KS and John looked uneasy. 'Is this moral?' asked John. KS took a stick of dynamite out of his bag. 'Don't worry. When we reach the border, we'll blow up the train' said KS. The train kept chooing along. 'Oh shit' said to4str, 'someone built a cambodian orphanage on the tracks. Time to stop this train with my freshly painted brake callipers'. KS was overwhelmed with courage. 'That's our cue', he shouted as he threw the dynamite at the train' and they skidded over the mexican border. 'I'm high on ketamine' bellowed to4str as he veered the train into a Poundland and exploded. Postmortem lit up a cigarette. 'Now what?' he queried. KS doesn't afraid and said; 'now we hijack a plane and go to Cornwall for no reason whatsoever'...
KS and John were on the train. 'Hello. My name is to4str and you are aboard to4str the tank engine. The front of the train is fitted with lazers to stop children crossing the border'. KS and John looked uneasy. 'Is this moral?' asked John. KS took a stick of dynamite out of his bag. 'Don't worry. When we reach the border, we'll blow up the train' said KS. The train kept chooing along. 'Oh shit' said to4str, 'someone built a cambodian orphanage on the tracks. Time to stop this train with my freshly painted brake callipers'. KS was overwhelmed with courage. 'That's our cue', he shouted as he threw the dynamite at the train' and they skidded over the mexican border. 'I'm high on ketamine' bellowed to4str as he veered the train into a Poundland and exploded. Postmortem lit up a cigarette. 'Now what?' he queried. KS doesn't afraid and said; 'now we hijack a plane and go to Cornwall for no reason whatsoever'...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,188
The next few chapters are going to be filler because I'm going on a fanfic writers' strike.
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) triple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 1 minute later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,191
Indy was making hotdogs. 'What a pleasant day' he said.
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 55 seconds later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,192
Brie was drinking DXM. 'This will be fun' he said.
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) quintuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,197
Falco headed for the English border. But he recognised a mascot. It was none other than Mickey Mouse! 'Come here Falco. Take a toke of this'. Falco tried to resist. 'No! I must work my 12 steps!' he shouted. But his marijuana addiction was too strong. He smoked relasped and overdosed on 5g of marijuana. Falco was kill. RIP in peas Falco.
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) sextuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,198
McWalter got out his MTG Timeshifted card and resurrected Mark. 'Thank you' Mark said. 'I hate these Imperial milk drinkers. Now we must go to Cornwall and aid the Dovahkin, who is none other than Falco'. Mark put on his cape and put on his kipper. 'Now to rustle up my obeagles'.
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) septuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 2 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,218
Ks and John got on the plane and hi-jacked it. 'Sorry folks' said Ks on the intercom, 'but this flight to Kunming is making a brief stop in Cornwall'. Postmortem lit up a cigarette. After Postmortem finished his 47th cigarette they reached Cornwall. Postmortem stirred. 'Co-op', he pondered, 'is that a convenience store? ALLAHU AKBAR!' he shouted as he kamikazed the plane into a convenience store.
dw replied with this 9.4 years ago, 5 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,305
@532,197 (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
What the fuck! Stupid strike filler and you kill off one of the main characters??
What the fuck! Stupid strike filler and you kill off one of the main characters??
Anonymous B replied with this 9.4 years ago, 11 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,312
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 9.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,339
@previous (B)
He's the fucking dragonborn m8.
@532,305 (dw)
I exploded and then magically (hehehehehe) came back to life. Everything is not as it seems, thanks.
He's the fucking dragonborn m8.
@532,305 (dw)
I exploded and then magically (hehehehehe) came back to life. Everything is not as it seems, thanks.
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,350
Green was fighting with Bella, when he looked at the ground and saw Falco's corpse which had turned to stone because of how stoned he was. 'NO!' he shouted. Green walked over to Falco, 'i luv u 5ever' he whimpered. Then he remembered what he saw in a movie, Green released his Pokemon from their pokeballs and they all cried. Their tears of unfathomable sadness brought Falco back to life. 'Smoke weed every day' Falco said.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 21 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,359
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 10 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,464
'Mr Mirrer! This is Chinese authowity! You come out with hand up now! You hotdogs poisoned half of Kunming!'. Indy woke up on his half-eaten couch amongst empty wine bottles. 'Shit', he said 'I am hungover'. Indy jumped out the window and got on his Rickshaw. 'I must get on a boat and seek asylum in Cornwales' he said to himself. Suddenly he heard dance music. 'Thee thy or eye r doomed' a voice said. Behind Indy, there was not one but two Syntaxes! 'OH shit!' said Indy, 'time to put the pedal to the medal!'...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 21 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,468
'Put this fucking parachute on John'. Ks and Postmortem put on parachutes and parachuted down to Cornwall. 'Looks like there's a civil war going on down their' said Ks. He snorted a fistful of meth. 'I AM SO FUCKING READY TO FUCK SHIT UP!'. John and Ks landed and Ks punched a tractor into space shouting; 'DON'T DO DRUGS KIDS, DO METH!'.
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) triple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,469
'How are we getting to Cornwall?' McWalter asked. Mark shook his head. 'Wow you insensitive anti-semite. My ancestor; Moses walked over 40 miles through the fucking dessert. So we're damn well going to walk there, it'll be good exercise'. A pang of terror overwhelmed McWalter's face. 'NNOOO! he screamed...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 2 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,493
Indy made it to the speedboat, evading the Syntaxes. He sped off, with the Syntaxes surfing after him. He made haste to Cornwales. Suddenly a helicopter appeared out of nowhere. 'Freeze Mr Miller! This is the IRS surrender, pay your taxes or prepare to die'. Matt made a u-turn, but the Syntaxes were behind him. He turned right, but out of nowhere a large ship appeared. 'Mr Miller. This is the FBI. We know what happened at Sacred Heart Academy. Surrender your vessel'. Matt was surrounded. 'Only one thing to do'. Indy pulled out a gun...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) quintuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 12 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,495
'How do we find Falco?' John asked. Ks giggled like a chuckle brother. 'We just follow the marijuana smoke cloud'. Ks and John tractor-jacked a peasant and followed Falco's trail. They had arrived at Falco's location. 'Yo Falco, sup dawg?' Ks asked. Falco just nodded and said 'yello fluf butt'. Green interjected; 'Ks! Help us fight Killer Lettuce and his army of corns, chickens and farmers!'. Ks winked 'CORN! I FUCKING LOVE CORN! I AM HYPED!'.
Ks joined the party.
Postmortem joined the party.
Ks joined the party.
Postmortem joined the party.
The cat joined in and replied with this 9.4 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,498
And then it was party time -
We are gonna fuck this place UP!'
We are gonna fuck this place UP!'
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 15 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,500
Fake_anon and McWalter walked all the way to Florida, stopping every 5 minutes at McDonalds. 'It's the ocean' said McWalter, looks like we'll need a boat'. Mark along slapped McWalter. 'No!', retorted, I'll just part the fucking sea!'. Mark raised his staff and parted the sea. They walked and walked, until finally they made it to Cornwall. 'Fuck!' said McWalter, 'now what do we do?'. Mark laughed. 'Obeagles! Eat this wall of corn!'. The obeagles ate the entire wall. They finally made it to Falco. 'Puff the magic dragonborn' said Mark. 'We are here to serve you'.
Fake_anon joined the party.
McWalter joined the party.
Fake_anon joined the party.
McWalter joined the party.
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,510
'You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!' Indy said as he pulled out his hotdog gun. He fired it everywhere. The IRS officers were jewish, thus were allergic to hotdogs. The Goldsteins, well the name speaks for itself.. Indy used the remaining 20kg of hotdogs on the FBI. They were spluttered with hotdogs like diarrhea after drinking too much beer and eating too much curry. 'Now for the mustard' said Indy 'gas'. He sprayed mustard gas everywhere and made haste to Cornwales. 'I have made it' he said with a sigh of relief. He got on a tractor and rushed to the king of Cornwales, seeking embassy. 'Killer Lettuce, my friend' said Indy gasping, 'I seek asylum in your fair land of Cornwales. Also, a grave crisis is occurring! Somebody is creating an army of clones!'. Killer Lettuce was bemused 'for piss sake m8! Let us deal with the civil war plotline first!'...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) triple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,537
'Ok' said Indy, 'I have just found out that I have cornwelsh blood in me. You british bastards are going down!'. An intense battle ensued. Postmortem got into a tractor and crashed it into a pasty shop. Killer Lettuce started throwing potatos at Mark. Ks went on a meth-fuelled rampage and threw farmers over cliffs. 'This is insane!' exclaimed Green. 'Falco, we must do something!'. Falco was rolling on the floor laughing my arse off. 'Smoke weed' Falco said. A single, bare lightbulb shone over Green's head. 'That's it!' said Green excitedly! Green downed a 2 litre bottle of cider. 'Poopy pants time?' Green asked Falco. Falco winked and slapped his bum. 'Pooped my pant hasn't yours' he replied. It was poopy pant time. Falco and Green ran onto the battlefield, spraying diarrhea everywhere and slapping cornish people with their penis. Killer Lettuce was cornered. 'It's over said Green. 'Surrender or face Falco's furry fury'. Killer Lettuce shuddered. 'Fine. You imperial british bastards win' mused Killer Lettuce. Green got out a piece of paper. 'Here is a list of terms for your surrender'. Killer Lettuced was pissed, he said 'british empire loves their damn lists'...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 15 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,538
After a slump, this fanfic had truly undergone a renaissance. I lol'd at all of these new updates.
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 3 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,564
Cornwall and Britain were once again unified. 'Anyone want a cup of tea?' queried Killer Lettuce? Ks nodded 'I jolly would love a good cuppa about now I would'. Everyone was merry. 'Nothing can possibly go wrong' said McWalter. Suddenly a gun started shooting at the tea party as they shall now be referred to. 'Thee thy Emma Watson's turds' said a voice. Indy looked up in horror. 'It's Syndy the gr8!'. The tea party was running around franctically in circles. Postmortem lit a cigarette; 'what do we do? For the love of god, what do we do?!'. McWalter started crying, Mark slapped him 'calm down McWalter' he said. Falco took a toke. 'You are a spliced clone of Indy and Syntax' he started saying. Falco pontificated some more. 'Therefore you should be obsessed with yourself. Your mere existence is a paradox'. The clone exploded at Falco's flawless logic. Everyone applauded. 'You really are the dragonborn!' said Ks. Indy, however, was unsettled. 'We need to stop this clone menace. But where do we start?'. Falco winked and did his Falco dance. 'We go to Disneyland!'. The tea party got on a boat and headed to America. 'Be careful' said Indy, 'for all we know, any one of us could be a clone. Trust no one'...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 1 day later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #532,959
They arrived in Florida. 'Now. The clone will probably try to kill us' said Matt. 'I'm hungry' said McWalter. Matt pulled out a menu, 'we shall dine at this fine hotdog, establishment'. McWalter started to have a spasms. 'NO! I only want McDonalds' McWalter said, tears streaming down his face like Nigra Falls. 'Typical, bland USAmerican food' retorted Matt. 'I'LL KILL YOU ALL!' shouted Killer Lettuce. 'Fine' said Matt. 'You go eat at McDonalds, we shall find somewhere else'.
McWalter has left the party.
'No fucking way!' said Mark with an air of astoundment. 'A MTG tournament'lets go in'. The tea party entered the MTG. 'You wait in the lobby. I'm going to the main battle hall!'.
Mark has left the party.
'Where's the cider' Green asked a waitress. 'We only serve non-alcoholic and lactose-free beverages here!'. He curled up on the floor in a fetal position of despair. He noticed a peculiar clock, tied to C4. 'OH SHIT! A BOMB! he shouted.
McWalter has left the party.
'No fucking way!' said Mark with an air of astoundment. 'A MTG tournament'lets go in'. The tea party entered the MTG. 'You wait in the lobby. I'm going to the main battle hall!'.
Mark has left the party.
'Where's the cider' Green asked a waitress. 'We only serve non-alcoholic and lactose-free beverages here!'. He curled up on the floor in a fetal position of despair. He noticed a peculiar clock, tied to C4. 'OH SHIT! A BOMB! he shouted.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 6 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #533,015
@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
This gave me a chuckle. The party's adventure is truly going places, now.
This gave me a chuckle. The party's adventure is truly going places, now.
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 1 day later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #533,279
'Get back!' exclaimed Matt. Matt took off his shoulder bag. 'This genuine saddleback leather bag shall absorb most of the explosion' said Matt. Matt took out his Macbook. 'Get behind me. This fully rugged Macbook Pro shall save us from the shockwaves!'. The party stood behind Matt as he wielded his Macbook Pro. The bomb exploded. Matt was right. His materialistic possessions saved the party. Mark came out of the MTG battle hall. 'What the hell happened?!' he asked worriedly? Killer Lettuce stood up nobly and replied, 'we almost got blown up by a bomb'. Mark shook his head with an air of apathy. 'What a shame' he said.
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 8 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #533,281
'All this excitement' said Mark, 'I gotta go take a leak'. Postmortem stood up too. 'I'm going outside for a cigarette'. Ks nodded. 'Going to the bathroom to powder my nose with meth'. Green left too saying 'need to twat a toilet seat with cider m8'.
The rest of the party remained in shock.
'Someone is a clone and has betrayed us' said Matt. Killer Lettuce burst in 'I think it's Mark'. Falco finishing his spliff, said highly 'not enough evidence'.
Meanwhile, the traitorous clone was already on the phone.
'Yes master. Our bomb attempt failed. Don't worry, I will make sure they never reach Disneyland'...
The rest of the party remained in shock.
'Someone is a clone and has betrayed us' said Matt. Killer Lettuce burst in 'I think it's Mark'. Falco finishing his spliff, said highly 'not enough evidence'.
Meanwhile, the traitorous clone was already on the phone.
'Yes master. Our bomb attempt failed. Don't worry, I will make sure they never reach Disneyland'...
(Edited 58 seconds later.)
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 15 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #533,286
I am pretty drunk from beer and I just wanted to let you know I love my Xbox 360. GTA 5 is new age fun and Skyrim old age fun. But does it even? Anyone, does it even?
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #533,304
And so our party ventured forth unto Disneyland. 'I'm very drunk' said Green. Falco had a look of utter disdainment on his face when he said 'y'all breaking the forth wall Green. But I am too high. What is a fourth wool lol?'.
Anonymous U joined in and replied with this 9.4 years ago, 1 day later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #533,625
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 8 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #533,688
Matt bought a massive bucket of KFC. 'That's dick licking good' said Falco. 'It's been 5 minutes since I've last eaten, I'm wasting away' chimed in McWalter eating the entire bucket. 'Wait' said Ks 'I know how we can tell who is the clone! Clones don't have belly buttons! Take of your shirts'. Everyone looked uneasy. 'That's gay' replied McWalter. 'Yeah, real gay' said Falco rubbing balls with Green. 'Anyone want to test out this guillotine I just bought?' Mark asked.
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #533,689
'I think Mark is the clone!' shouted Killer Lettuce. Mark whacked Killer Lettuce with his staff. 'You are literally obsessed with me' Mark retorted. McWalter had finished eating. 'Boy! I sure am full', as he finished saying those words, his shirt ripped open, revealing that he didn't have a belly button...
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 53 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #533,693
'Of course!' said Postmortem. 'McWalter was in McDonalds when the bomb went off in the MTG tournament. That was the first clue. Next was the KFC'. Matt chimed in 'yes McWalter only ever eats McDonalds'. Falco interjected 'and McWalter would never say something was gay, as he in a gay man himself. Finally, he said he was full. McWalter is never full'. McWalter started to run, but for some reason he was out of breath after 5 metres. 'I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids' McWalter exclaimed. Ks took out his gun and shot the McWalter clone...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 36 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #533,697
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 23 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #533,964
'What is this?' queried John. 'This sign says super secret evil lair: staff only?. If we enter, may we find who is responsible for the clones?'. Killer Lettuce retorted 'aye, we might'. The party entered the secret lair, and Killer Lettuce started to pontificate. 'Mark' he asked, 'if you're not a clone, why did you try to kill us?'. Mark did a little jig and said 'because I don't like you very much'. The party kept walking until they reached the interior of a volcano. 'Cliche!' said Ks. In the distance, they spotted a figure in a cape. As they got closer they instantly recognised the man. 'No. It can't be!' gasped Green. 'Is it.. Could it be-' stuttered Matt, before he was interrupted by the caped man! 'YES! bellowed the man! It is I, the great Dr Roberts! Bow down to me or face your doom!' The party got into battle positions and collectively shouted; ' Never!''. A nefarious grin spread over Dr Robert's face. 'Well, it's time for you pathetic trolls to learn your lesson!' he pointed to his henchmen 'RELEASE THE BERTS!' he commanded. The parties heard loud thuds echoing from the tunnels that were not too dissimilar from an eartquake. 'triptych..where are....you? said Bert clone 1. 'kookypoos....i see you! shouted Bert clone 2. 'i want..breakfast thinking....wendys' replied Bert clone 3. 'Party..clones report.....in! the final Bert clone said. The party started to get nervous. 'This isn't good', Falco said.
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 2 days later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,314
'Poopy pant time has no effect on them' yelled Green. 'Maybe some cider'. Green drank some cider. 'pff..' said Bert clone 2, '..your cider is....compared to my..everclear' Bert downed some everclear. Green threw everything he had at the Bert clone; dentist signs, buttered Bibles; but it is no use. 'Fuck this shit!' Ks shouted 'taste my meth-fueled rage!'. Bert clone 3 injected a needle in his arm, 'pfft..try heroin' he said. 'The battle fares ill' Killer Lettuce proclaimed. Matt nodded 'this looks like the end'. Suddenly, the party heard a car horn, and a pickup truck crashed through the volcano. A man got out 'howdy y'all, I love me some Jesus!' said he.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,315
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 22 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,316
'Meta!' exclaimed Killer Lettuce, with a sigh of relief. Meta tipped his fedora, 'm'lady'. He then took an AK-47 out of his fedora and started shooting at the Bert clones. The other doors of the car opened. Harleen, Krodan and McWalter got out of the car. Harleen put on her panda hat and transformed into a panda, mauling the Berts. 'Now for our signature finishing move, John', said Ks. Postmortem and Ks smoked a boulder of meth. 'IT'S MOTHERFUCKING METH MANIA!', they roared. They got in Meta's car and crashed into the Berts. The Berts spoke their final worlds. 'ducky..where....are you?' and died. 'Thank you Meta' said Mark. 'Yehaww. That was a doozy!' replied Meta. 'We're going home now' said Harleen and Krodan. 'Thanks for your help' the party said gratefully. 'I was in McDonalds' said McWalter. 'Metae! You are more than welcome to join the party! We need to stop Dr Roberts and the evil clones' said Matt. 'Well howdy. They just need to learn about Jesus!' replied Meta.
Meta has joined the party.
McWalter has joined the party.
Meta has joined the party.
McWalter has joined the party.
(Edited 48 seconds later.)
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 23 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,468
The party chased after Dr Roberts through the evil volcano lair. 'You'll never stop me! I am the greatest evil doctor ever!' Dr Roberts said nefariously. Suddenly, the TARDIS appeared and out stepped Catherine. 'You'll never be greater than Dr Who' said she. 'I have to go turn into a woman now' said Catherine as she teleported. Suddenly, a gloomy silence filled the caverns. Then the party heard an eerie voice saying 'LOL TTEH. LOL TTEH.'. TTEH jumped out of a volcano and pushed Dr Roberts into the lava, killing him. Killer Lettuce was happy. 'Thanks TTEH!' he said gleefully. 'I have to go home now' replied TTEH. The party cheered and clapped. 'STOP!' shouted Matt urgently, 'our clapping is causing an avalanche!'. A blanket of snow started falling down the mountain. 'Fuck' said Green, 'we'll never make it out of this quarry alive!'. McWalter stood up. 'I'll eat the avalanche! You all escape'. Ks nodded 'godspeed' McWalter. The party started to run out of the cave with much haste. 'Made it' said Falco gasping.
McWalter opened his mouth and consumed the snow. However, a strange feeling overwhelmed him. 'Wha- what's happening?' he stuttered. McWalter's stomach abruptly imploded in on itself and became a black hole..
McWalter opened his mouth and consumed the snow. However, a strange feeling overwhelmed him. 'Wha- what's happening?' he stuttered. McWalter's stomach abruptly imploded in on itself and became a black hole..
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 15 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,474
The party started to head towards Cardiff by the sea for a 10 mile beach party. Ks and Postmortem were smoking meth, Mark drinking soya milk, everybody was having a good time. 'Hotdogs!' shouted Indy, throwing them to the party. 'Damn' said Falco 'everything turned out alright'. Suddenly a giant tv floated in the sky and a man appeared on it. 'No. It can't be..' Killer Lettuce muttered at a loss for words. The man on the tv started speaking; 'Greetings psychotic fucktards of planet earth. My name is Kimmo Johan Alm, but soon I shall be known as Emperor of the Universe. That is all'. The party stood in absolute bewildered silence. 'What..What do we do?' asked Meta. Falco put on his spandex gloves 'we stop him' he said courageously. 'But how' asked Mark, 'we don't even though where he is'. Matt cleared his throat 'there's only one place that transmission could have come from. 10 mile satelites'...
Anonymous C replied with this 9.4 years ago, 1 minute later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,476
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 9.4 years ago, 49 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,489
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,508
'How do we get to the satelite station?' Postmortem queried. Killer Lettuce smiled, 'reptilians' he said. 'We find a reptilian spaceship'. The party stood in silent awe. 'But where do we find one?' Mark asked. Matt interjected, 'from a wee british schoolboy in america'. Matt lead the party to a house. 'In the basement'. The party entered the basement and was exposed to a view most shocking. 'A middle-aged, overweight reptilian!' exclaimed Killer Lettuce. The reptilian stood up, 'earthquake!' shouted Ks. The reptilian moved towards the group. He extended his Cheeto stained fingers saying; 'I'm a wee british schoolboy!'. Postmortem started to cry 'he's going to kill us all! We're trapped!'. The reptilian laughed. 'I'm going to bore you to death with random news articles'. Suddenly, music filled the basement. 'Is that girls just wanna have phone?' Falco asked. An extremely sexy women with a grate arse entered the room. 'Bella!' the party said with greate relief. Bella started to sing. 'NO!' said the reptilian. 'My heart, hnng-'. Bella's singing gave the reptilian a heart attack. 'Quickly!' said Matt, 'to the spaceship'. The party got into the spaceship. 'I'm coming too' said Bella. Falco winked and got out his dildo. 'To the space-station!' Matt said as he powered up the engines.
Bella has joined the party.
Bella has joined the party.
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 3 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,576
'Shit. We're going in hot' said Matt. The party landed on a huge space station at the heart of a series of 10 mile satelites. 'Now, lets find Kimmo and put an end to him. Brb, got to loo'. Said Green. 'Cider piss ;)' said Green, as he rejoined the party. 'Yo' shouted Falco as the party walked away from the ship 'I'mma finish this toke then imma join ya'. Falco caught up with the party. 'Damn. Where are we?'. Mark facepalmed 'we're going to stop Kimmo'. The party kept walking. 'Timeloop portals. What is that?' said Postmortem as they walked by a storage bay. 'Probably nothing' replied Killer Lettuce. 'Quickly chaps! Onwards unto Kimmo'. The party swiftly rushed swiftly to the centre of the station. 'So. I'm surprised you have made it this far' said a voice. It was Kimmo...
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,584
'You psychotic fucktards will pay'. Killer Lettuce boldly stood forward 'we've defeated you before, we'll defeat you again!' he said. Kimmo laughed. 'Hahaha. Then you will meet your death. I invite you to meet the cloned namefags of days gone by. Introducing; nickalollyoff. 'My balls dogfart stink' said the nickalollyoff clone. 'Ha!' chortled Green, 'is that all?'. Another clone appeared. 'Meet Grey' said Kimmo, 'another oldfag'. Green got out a bottle of cider 'I am the original colour namefag!' he roared, charging at Grey. 'Also introducing The Chosen One, his friends and carebear'. The carebear clone waved at Mark 'oh hai sexy ;)' she said. 'Ha. A trifle!' Matt said with a hearty laugh, 'I shall bring them down with 20kg of hotdogs'. Kimmo stared at Matt with bewildered bemusement. 'Hotdogs!' he said viciously, 'Hotdogs! These clones don't have 20kg of hotdogs. They have unlimited hotdogs. Introducing fagtardicus and phallus99''. The evil clones surrounded the party...
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,598
'Take the party to the evil dungeon' said Kimmo. 'Except Green and Falco. They have superhero powers'. The namefags of olde surrounded the party and took the party to the evil dungeon. 'Now you psychotic fucktards will learn pain!' Kimmo exclaimed. Green brazenly stood up against Kimmo. 'Why are you doing this?' he asked. Kimmo laughed. 'Before you die. I shall reveal my evil scheme!' Kimmo retorted. Falco had a little chuckle 'cliche' he spurted. Kimmo continued; 'you psychotic fucktards brought down the greatest site on the entire internet. For years I have been biding my time, plotting my revenge. I enlisted the help of Dr Roberts; who has also had trouble against you psychotic fucking trolls. You made illegal clones of anontalk.com, so I decided to use your own plan against you. Dr Roberts was but a pawn. I will make the ultimate clone army using his formula. I will splice the clone's DNA with pure aryan blood. I kidnapped Syntax. Why? To gain control of his 10 mile satelites. I am waging war with every species of this universe. I will send my clone army to battle against them; and when I win, every psychotic alien species universe will use the correct fucking grammar. Your're too weak and shall never defeat me!'...
(Edited 52 seconds later.)
Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 16 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,601
Falco had a noble look on his face. He turned and looked at Green and said 'Green, I must do this'. Falco jumped into the core of the space station. 'No!' screamed Kimmo, 'you are too high!'. Falco was too high and exploded blowing up Kimmo. Kimmo pressed a button. 'No. Don't press that' said Falco. An explosion occurred and keys reached Green's hand. An electronic voice echoed in the background saying; "Activating final countdown timer. When it reaches zero, the engines will detonate. The explosion will generate a temperature of almost 100 million degrees. Don't be here when it
blows". Green started to sprint towards the evil dungeon and released the party. 'Quick!' he said 'to the ship'. The party hurried to the ship. When they got their, they were shocked to find someone else was alreay in there...
blows". Green started to sprint towards the evil dungeon and released the party. 'Quick!' he said 'to the ship'. The party hurried to the ship. When they got their, they were shocked to find someone else was alreay in there...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 27 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,622
@previous (Green)
Who? Who was alreay there???
I am on the edge of my seat!
Who? Who was alreay there???
I am on the edge of my seat!
(Edited 36 seconds later.)
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 8 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,642
This fucking fanfic retarted and my Xbox does turn off. Great sorrow. Fuck you tobacco. Is it even?
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 11 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,650
'Holy shit!' Green exclaimed 'Falco!'. Falco got out his anus and inserted it into his anus. 'Am cummeru' he screamed in pure ecstasy. 'But Falco', Ks said, 'you sacrificed yourself'. Matt got to the controls. 'We got to go now!' he said as he put his petal to the metal'. The spaceship maximum velocity. 'How..' Green said dumbfounded, 'how Falco'. Falco shoved a horse dildo in his anus. 'I sent a clone because I was too high!'. Green got down on one knee. 'Falco, will you marry me?'...
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 14 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,654
Falco took the horse dildo out of his moist anus. 'Yes Green. I will marry you!' said Falco. 'Fuck' said Matt, 'we have intergalatic FBI on our asses'. Ks stood by the cannons. 'Fire the minichan lunchboxes he said'. There was an epic battle between the heroes and the aliens, but soon our heroes were overwhelmed. A grey transported to the party's ship. 'Stop right there criminal scum!' said the gray. Falco throw weed at them. 'Smoke' said Falco. The gray was extremely happy. 'On behalf of the federation of universe, we now declare you the emperor of the universe, Falco. What is your first decree your higness (lol good pun). Falco put on a stern face and said; 'smoke weed everyday!'...
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 24 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,659
'Time for the wedding!' shouted Meta, 'who will be the vicar?'. Suddenly a man walked over the horizon, 'I, mountainman, shall be the vicar!'. Green and Falco were content and said there vows. 'You fucking low-life trolls have lost' said a voice in the crowd. The person took off their mask. 'Dr Roberts!' shouted Ks. Dr Roberts took out a gun, and shot Green. 'NO!' shouted Falco, 'the empress! Let me make love to him one last time!'. Falco took off Green's shirt and was more shocked than McWalter discovering a McDonalds had shut. 'No. Bellybutton'. Bella laughed and took off her wig. 'That's right. Bella and I switched places when I went to the toilet'. Green's triumphant words were silenced by the sound of gunfire as fake_anon shot Falco. 'NO!' shouted Green, 'my waifu!'. Fake_anon took of his mask and said; 'it's me, Falco! This Falco is none other than a clone postmortem wearing a Falco mask'. Green took a massive beer diarrhea, 'then that means, all of you are clone's!'...
(Edited 2 minutes later.)
Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 8 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,660
'Yes!' said Killer Lettuce, 'and we clones shall rule the universe!'. Green stuck a 2 litre bottle up his tight, sexy arse. 'We have lost' he said. Falco took a shit on the floor and raped it. 'No we haven't!' he replied. Green was butt beads 'you thinking what I'm thinking?'. Falco nodded 'pooped my pant hasn't yours?'. Green slapped his bum and said 'poopy pant time'...
The end.
The end.
Green (OP) sextuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 19 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,668
Minichan fanfic 3. Coming soon.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 53 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,674
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 1 minute later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,676
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,678
@previous (Green)
Of course, buddy. These are always fun to read.
Also, I will have to talk to Minichan's publishing department about getting these put into print, sometime.
Of course, buddy. These are always fun to read.
Also, I will have to talk to Minichan's publishing department about getting these put into print, sometime.
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 9 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #534,785
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 3 days later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #535,455
Minichan Fanfic 3: The Final Stand
Chapter 1: Falco's bum has got it going on.
Falco and Green were laying on the beach, enjoying their honeymoon. 'I ve got a surprise' said Falco, 'horse dildo!'. Green screamed gleefully. 'Lets test out our new move' winked Green. Falco lay on his back and pointed his anus to the air. 'VESUVIUS!' he shouted as he shat into his own mouth. Green restrained Falco. 'Hey, save some for my dessert' he said boisterously. Suddenly a man in robes walked up to them. 'I am the oracle. A long time I have sought you. The universe is in great danger!'.
Chapter 1: Falco's bum has got it going on.
Falco and Green were laying on the beach, enjoying their honeymoon. 'I ve got a surprise' said Falco, 'horse dildo!'. Green screamed gleefully. 'Lets test out our new move' winked Green. Falco lay on his back and pointed his anus to the air. 'VESUVIUS!' he shouted as he shat into his own mouth. Green restrained Falco. 'Hey, save some for my dessert' he said boisterously. Suddenly a man in robes walked up to them. 'I am the oracle. A long time I have sought you. The universe is in great danger!'.
(Edited 2 minutes later.)
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 6 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #535,508
@previous (Green)
Oh fuck, the stakes just keep getting higher?
Also, is this the same Oracle as the one from Anontalk? Will I be unable to view the fanfic if I say Kimmo Alm?
Oh fuck, the stakes just keep getting higher?
Also, is this the same Oracle as the one from Anontalk? Will I be unable to view the fanfic if I say Kimmo Alm?
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 3 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #535,539
Chapter 2: pooped my pant have you?
'Brie!' exclaimed the duo. Brie span his cape and did a jig. 'Aye. And there is a dire situation ahappening?'. Falco shat himself in fear 'WHAT IS IT HE YELLED?' he yelled. Brie took out a minichan lunchbox, 'somebody is trying to destabilize the timeloops'. Green put the horse dildo on Falco's head and span around on it. 'Uh oh spaghettios!' said Green, 'but what can we do about it?'. Brie replied 'we must find the source of the timeloop disturbance. But first there is a more urgent matter to deal with. Our very own timeloop has been compromized. Someone has gone back in time and is trying to stop you two from ever meeting. If they succeed, you shall cease to exist'. Falco put on his strap-on dragon dildo 'ok, so we stop them, but how do we travel back in time?'. Brie smiled and pulled a happy meal out of the minichan lunchbox. Suddenly, the party heard a wooshing sound...
'Brie!' exclaimed the duo. Brie span his cape and did a jig. 'Aye. And there is a dire situation ahappening?'. Falco shat himself in fear 'WHAT IS IT HE YELLED?' he yelled. Brie took out a minichan lunchbox, 'somebody is trying to destabilize the timeloops'. Green put the horse dildo on Falco's head and span around on it. 'Uh oh spaghettios!' said Green, 'but what can we do about it?'. Brie replied 'we must find the source of the timeloop disturbance. But first there is a more urgent matter to deal with. Our very own timeloop has been compromized. Someone has gone back in time and is trying to stop you two from ever meeting. If they succeed, you shall cease to exist'. Falco put on his strap-on dragon dildo 'ok, so we stop them, but how do we travel back in time?'. Brie smiled and pulled a happy meal out of the minichan lunchbox. Suddenly, the party heard a wooshing sound...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #535,541
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 1 day later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #535,810
Chapter 3: Cup of tea
'The McWalter entity is a dark hole (using the word dark as it's not racist)' said Brie. 'You must enter the McWalter to travel back in time'. Brie ran into the McWalter. Falco shrugged at Green. 'I am uncomfortable with this' he said. Green slapped his cheeky bum and said 'but there is past Falco's bum and weed on the other side!'. That was all the motivation Falco needed, he leapt into the McWalter, Green lubed up and followed...
'The McWalter entity is a dark hole (using the word dark as it's not racist)' said Brie. 'You must enter the McWalter to travel back in time'. Brie ran into the McWalter. Falco shrugged at Green. 'I am uncomfortable with this' he said. Green slapped his cheeky bum and said 'but there is past Falco's bum and weed on the other side!'. That was all the motivation Falco needed, he leapt into the McWalter, Green lubed up and followed...
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 4 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #535,832
Chapter 4: timeloops galore
Green had got so drunk from cider he had ended up in Disneyland. 'Oi me moosh' he said to a Mickey Mouse mascot, 'a pint of cider please'. The Mickey Mouse mascot ran away. 'Fuck' said Green, 'there must be a pub around here somewhere'. He entered a bar and collapsed. Someone enticing caught his eye and entrancing music entered his ear. He went up to this musician 'you sure can play a mean flute' said Green. The musician winked at him and replied 'I like an instrument I can suck on'. Green was impressed. 'My name Green' he said. The musician took down his pants and introduced himself 'I'm Falco'. Falco stuck the flute up his bum and started playing, 'the thing about soundcloud is, it's quite windy' he said as he cheekily slapped his bum. 'Pleasure to meet you!' said Green, enamoured with Falco. 'Brb piss' said Green as he went to the loo. He went to a cubicle and noticed some shady figures. 'IT'S A TRAP!' he yelled. Suddenly he was ambushed by reptilians...
Green had got so drunk from cider he had ended up in Disneyland. 'Oi me moosh' he said to a Mickey Mouse mascot, 'a pint of cider please'. The Mickey Mouse mascot ran away. 'Fuck' said Green, 'there must be a pub around here somewhere'. He entered a bar and collapsed. Someone enticing caught his eye and entrancing music entered his ear. He went up to this musician 'you sure can play a mean flute' said Green. The musician winked at him and replied 'I like an instrument I can suck on'. Green was impressed. 'My name Green' he said. The musician took down his pants and introduced himself 'I'm Falco'. Falco stuck the flute up his bum and started playing, 'the thing about soundcloud is, it's quite windy' he said as he cheekily slapped his bum. 'Pleasure to meet you!' said Green, enamoured with Falco. 'Brb piss' said Green as he went to the loo. He went to a cubicle and noticed some shady figures. 'IT'S A TRAP!' he yelled. Suddenly he was ambushed by reptilians...
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 47 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #535,853
A history lesson for you. This is the thread that started it all https://minichan.org/topic/15291#reply_267915
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #535,865
The party landed in Disneyland. Suddenly Green noticed something wrong. 'I'm fading!' he said. 'Quick' said Brie with a sense of urgency, 'we must find past Green and get him to kiss past Falco at the enchantment under the sea dance or he'll fade away forever. 'Don't worry' said Falco, 'I have a heat-seeking penis that will home in on Green's tight warm bumhole'. The party followed Falco's penis to a motorway. 'He's in that van!' said McWalter, 'we'll never catch up with him!'. Suddenly a guy on a bike stopped next to them 'need my help?' said the stranger. The party got on the bike, but they were too slow. 'Damn', said the stranger, 'if only there was some type of super-stimulant to make my bike go faster'. Brie handed him a crystal 'try this' he said encouragingly. The stranger put it in his bike and it went faster. The reptilians were shooting guns at the bike. 'We're under fire!' exclaimed Brie. Falco ate some eggs and fired his anus. Rock solid turds hit the reptilian van, it veered to the side and rolled over...
Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 16 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #535,955
Future Falco ran over to the bus, 'past Green!' he said in relief as he lubed him up. The party headed back to Disneyland and the enchantment under the sea dance. 'Go, past Green!, said Brie, kiss past Falco so you can exist!'. Past Green went up to past Falco. Suddenly Bert shoved past Green out the way and started to dance with past Falco. Past Green gloomily, walked away. Suddenly he was overwhelmed with rage and passion, he went back and punched Bert. Past Falco punched down his trousers exposing his bum and past Green kissed it. Future Falco felt a penis enter his butt. It was future Green who had faced back into existence. Suddenly, the band stopped playing, the lead singer ran up to future Falco. Rushedly he said 'our lead guitarist Cupcake has broke her hand. Can you play instead?'. Future Falco nodded. He got on stage and started playing. He began to sing as well; 'hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe'. After he finished the song the audience stood in shocked silence. 'Maybe a bit too early for you, but your children are going to love it'. Future Green and Falco met with their past selves and had sex with them. 'Thank you sirs!' said their past selves. Suddenly a weird quantum tear opened up. 'We must follow these to the disturbance of the timeloops' said Brie.
Green (OP) sextuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 4 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #535,983
Is anyone still reading this lol?
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #535,987
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 9.4 years ago, 8 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #535,988
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 39 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #535,993
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 2 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,007
The party jumped through the timeloop rend. 'Where are we?' queried Green. Brie got out Ziggy (what is now the name of the timeloop identifier). 'We are in a timeloop where Cornwall beat those oppressive British bastards and is now a world super-power'. Falco looked bemused 'what are we doing here?' he said. Brie responded 'well, you remember how everybody at your wedding was a clone? Well the heroes of minichan were sent through timeloops by a lieutenant of Kimmo Alm. Before we can save the timeloops, we must find the party members'. The party headed towards the pasty shop; the capital of Cornwall. Green was thirsty, so he took a swig of Tesco Value Cider. 'Stop right there criminal scum!' said a Cornish Police Force Guard. 'This is Britshit drink. Will you pay the fine?'. The party had a group huddle and replied 'no'. The CPFG started attacking the party saying 'you should've paid the fine!'. The party headed to 'ye olde pasty shop' where there met a familiar face. 'Killer Lettuce!' said Falco gleefully shitting on himself. Killer Lettuce looked at the party with dismay, 'aye, I'm to be executed at dawn for being an impostor'...
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 3 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,046
'''chagj!!!pjer 1t lg.gdntd3
'the fuckg,ng' rgaid Killer
'the fuckg,ng' rgaid Killer
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 8 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,148
'U wot m8o?' said Green. Falco stuck a dildo up his ass 'i am 1 cheeky kunt m8 i swear on me mum' he said. Killer Lettuce was disdain 'where me fookin pasty you noofters?'. Brie rand
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 4 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,175
Anonymous V joined in and replied with this 9.4 years ago, 7 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,316
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 14 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,568
Chapter 6: Falco's dicks
The party freed Killer Lettuce and ran. 'I have located a timeloop anomaly' said Brie and the party jumped through a timeloop. 'Where are we?' asked Falco. Brie had a sorrowful look on his face; 'we are in a timeloop where most of the world are atheists'. The party trembled in terror 'NOO!' they exclaimed. Suddenly some atheists started shooting at them. 'Of course' spoke Killer Lettuce, 'without God, these heathens have no morals and no guidance from the 10 commandments'. Suddenly, an announcment was made via loud radio broadcast. 'I am your evil Lord, Richard Dawkins. I have captured a christian called Meta. He will be executed at 6.66PM'...
The party freed Killer Lettuce and ran. 'I have located a timeloop anomaly' said Brie and the party jumped through a timeloop. 'Where are we?' asked Falco. Brie had a sorrowful look on his face; 'we are in a timeloop where most of the world are atheists'. The party trembled in terror 'NOO!' they exclaimed. Suddenly some atheists started shooting at them. 'Of course' spoke Killer Lettuce, 'without God, these heathens have no morals and no guidance from the 10 commandments'. Suddenly, an announcment was made via loud radio broadcast. 'I am your evil Lord, Richard Dawkins. I have captured a christian called Meta. He will be executed at 6.66PM'...
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 18 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,569
Chapter 7: atheist heaven
'Quickly!' shouted Killer Lettuce 'me must save Meta from the evil atheists!' . The party started running to Richard Dawkins lair. They sprinted down an alley, but were apprehended by the atheist police. 'Stop right there, Christian scum! We are the fedora patrol or feds for short!'. The party were surrouned. 'What do we do?' asked McWalter. Falco winked at Green. Brie spoke out cautiosly 'careful lads, they're euphoric'. Green got out his butter and Bibles as Falco charged his anus. 'FOR JESUS!' they shouted. The feds became covered in sticky diarrhea. Our party made a swift escape and headed towards the Natural History Museum...
'Quickly!' shouted Killer Lettuce 'me must save Meta from the evil atheists!' . The party started running to Richard Dawkins lair. They sprinted down an alley, but were apprehended by the atheist police. 'Stop right there, Christian scum! We are the fedora patrol or feds for short!'. The party were surrouned. 'What do we do?' asked McWalter. Falco winked at Green. Brie spoke out cautiosly 'careful lads, they're euphoric'. Green got out his butter and Bibles as Falco charged his anus. 'FOR JESUS!' they shouted. The feds became covered in sticky diarrhea. Our party made a swift escape and headed towards the Natural History Museum...
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 40 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,572
'Haha!' said Dawkins, 'you foolish Christians have walked right into my trap'. Dawkins fed Cheetos and Mountain Dew to the dinosaur skeleton and it started moving. 'It's powered by pure euphoria!' said Dawkins. The skeleton dinosaur started thrashing at the party. 'Maybe he's right' Falco began saying, 'maybe there is no God'. Green slapped Falco around the bum. 'Don't believe his lies. Dinosaur boners and fossils were planted by Satan to deceive Christians. The party put up a valiant effort battling the behemoth, but to the avail. Just as all hope was lost, the floor shook. 'It must be a stampede of rhinos!' exclaimed Brie. 'Take cover!'...
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,577
Chapter 8: u wot m8?
It was the obeagles! They rampaged into the dinosaur skeleton and buried the bones. 'Miss me?' said a familiar voice. It was the wizard! 'I took a vacation to this timeloop because everyone plays MTG' said Mark, 'but I see Killer Lettuce's obsession with me knows no bounds'. The party rushed up the stairs and hugged Mark. 'Now to save Meta!' said Falco. The party cornered Dawkins. 'It's over Dawkins' said Green. 'Convert or you will go to Hell'. Dawkins shook his head. 'No. I hate God'. The party killed Dawkins and freed Meta. They then journeyed through another timeloop rend.
It was the obeagles! They rampaged into the dinosaur skeleton and buried the bones. 'Miss me?' said a familiar voice. It was the wizard! 'I took a vacation to this timeloop because everyone plays MTG' said Mark, 'but I see Killer Lettuce's obsession with me knows no bounds'. The party rushed up the stairs and hugged Mark. 'Now to save Meta!' said Falco. The party cornered Dawkins. 'It's over Dawkins' said Green. 'Convert or you will go to Hell'. Dawkins shook his head. 'No. I hate God'. The party killed Dawkins and freed Meta. They then journeyed through another timeloop rend.
Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 11 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,578
Chapter 10: here we go again
'We are in a timeloop where there are only women' said Brie. The party were dismayed. A strange stirring was happening in Falco's pants. 'Only women plus one man. My penis sense is tingling'. The patted party Falco on the back. 'We will head out at dawn' said Green 'first we must sleep. Don't worry, I don't think any women will come near us'. As the party slept in the tent, Brie took some DXM. On his trip he met his spiritual guide. 'Hello The Editor' said Brie. The Editor replied back in kind and said; 'have you told him about the pooped pant prophecy yet?'. Brie shook his head. 'No. He will find out when the time is right'...
'We are in a timeloop where there are only women' said Brie. The party were dismayed. A strange stirring was happening in Falco's pants. 'Only women plus one man. My penis sense is tingling'. The patted party Falco on the back. 'We will head out at dawn' said Green 'first we must sleep. Don't worry, I don't think any women will come near us'. As the party slept in the tent, Brie took some DXM. On his trip he met his spiritual guide. 'Hello The Editor' said Brie. The Editor replied back in kind and said; 'have you told him about the pooped pant prophecy yet?'. Brie shook his head. 'No. He will find out when the time is right'...
Green (OP) sextuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 19 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,835
The party followed Falco's penis. They arrived at a man huddled on the floor crying. 'Who are you?' asked Falco. 'I am Anonymous A aka OP. I need to get out of this universe. There are no cocks and my diet is based on a large amount of semen'. McWalter patted Anonymous A on the back. 'Don't worry' McWalter said with a wicked grin, 'you'll get all the cock you can handle'...
Green (OP) septuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 50 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,839
The party travelled through another timeloop. 'We are in a universe where the planet is one giant McDonalds. 'This is my favorite timeloop' said McWalter. The party ate some McDonalds. 'We must find Matt!' said McWalter. Suddenly, they heard the sound of an electric scooter with a man riding it. 'Typical, bland USAmerican food' said the man. The man ran up to McWalter and slapped him 'I fucking hate adult picky eaters' he said. The party cheered; Matt was back. Another man walked up to Brie and asked him if he wanted to buy some meth. It was Ks. However the reunion was rudely interrupted by a man running around naked shouting 'first!'. It was Squeegee! Suddenly, a man dressed as Batman swooped down. 'Dreamworks!' exclaimed Killer Lettuce enthusiastically, 'well isn't this convenient? It's like our adventures are made up by a writer and he has ran out of ideas!'. McWalter was revive from his bonk to the noggin. 'Who am I?' he began saying, 'I have amnesia'. Green took Falco aside. 'I need to talk to you. Privately'. Green sat Falco down. 'I'm pregnant' said Green, 'you're going to be a father!'. Falco broke down in joyful tears. He had never been so happy in his life.
Green (OP) octuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,850
'I've found the location of the timeloop disturbance' said Brie, 'however we need to go through an autistic timeloop to get there'. The party gave of an air of uneasiness, but agreed it was what they had to do. The party stepped into the autistic timeloop. Suddenly, 10 transgender women maced the party, ranting about how Sonic's arms are blue. Falco came in everyone's eyes, neutralizing the mace. The party dashed through the autistic timeloop. Bronies started thowing fedoras at the them. They were almost at the exit timeloop when a man approached them and said; 'have you seen a ginger girl around here?'...
Green (OP) nonuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 34 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,852
'The autism is strong with this one said' said Brie. The party grew weaker as Leonidas' sheer autism overwhelmed the party. 'I want to watch Thomas the Tank Engine' said Falco. Green shook him 'hang in there'. Ks tried to fight, but even his meth fury was no match for pure autism. 'Why do midgets drive automobiles?' continued Leonidas, 'here, look at these le funny 9gag memes XD!'. Killer Lettuce collapsed, 'how do we stop this autism?' he queried. 'I have the answer for that' said a voice instantly recognisable as ShitArse, 'we must stop injections of babies; it is a Jewish conspiracy to turn everyone autistic'. Killer Lettuce stood up, his power levels rising, 'no it's not' he replied. ShitArse ran away in defeat as he couldn't contend with Killer Lettuce's logic. The party applauded Killer Lettuce, but they still had Leonidas to deal with. A man in a dress floated down from the ceiling. 'Need my help?' winked ninjj. Ninjj used his ninja moves to rekt Leonidas, then took a shit on him. Matt handed out some gone off hotdogs to the party in celebration and the party all took a shit on Leonidas. 'Now', Brie began saying, 'this timeloop will lead us to the cause n the devastation'...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,853
TTEH !FFSTTEHV7. replied with this 9.4 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,855
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,865
'Oi!' said Green, 'r u havin a chuckle bros? We're back in our own universe. Why didn't we just stay here?'. Brie shook his head 'it was a bit of a giggle' he said. 'Why didn't we just take the eagles straight to Mordor?' added Mark. Dreamworks facepalmed 'goddamnit fake_anon'. Brie calmed the party down, 'we just need to get to the centre of the universe where God created the big bang 6000 years ago'. The party rode Killer Lettuce's tractor to the reptilian ship. 'All aboard!' said Matt as he flew towards the centre of the universe, as they approached, they say a giant asteroid. It was armed with lazer cannons trying to shoot the party down. Suddenly a loud sound filled the air. 'Is that..' began Ks 'a rage vocaroo?'...
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 27 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,882
The party landed on the asteroid. And were met by a giant mechanical man. 'Sup to4str?', said Killer Lettuce. To4str filled with fury 'I am the To4strtron 2000 you fucking retards'. The party stood defiant, 'so you're behind the timeloop devastation!' said Ks. To4stron 2000 laughed 'YES! About time you cunts figured it out. I used my gay science to disrupt the timeloops!'. Killer Lettuce was pissed 'U r 1 cheeky kunt m8, I swear on me mum. Why are you doing this?' he said. To4stron 2000 replied with a rage vocaroo; 'I am destroying the universe to troll Green and the rest of you losers. Only this asteroid will remain, it shall be known as planet to4str! I've built a cambodian orphanage on it and even painted it's break calipers! Now, it's to4str time!' he said as he summoned chav chariots and reptilians...
dw replied with this 9.4 years ago, 6 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,975
truly inspiring
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 9.4 years ago, 1 minute later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,976
200 get
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 13 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,978
@536,975 (dw)
Why does he write you as wearing a Batman suit, anyway? He did it before in an older one too.
Why does he write you as wearing a Batman suit, anyway? He did it before in an older one too.
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 3 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #536,998
The party battled valiantly, but they were outmatched. 'Time to eat lazers' said to4str. 'This looks like the end' said Matt. 'All of God's creation, about to be destroyed' added Killer Lettuce. The party accepted their fate with dignity. Just as the end was nigh, Ks noticed something out of his eye. 'What is that?' he asked. Killer Lettuce gasped in astonishment, 'no..it can't be. It is! It's the r04rbot and robobecky!'. The r04rbot and robobecky were wielding massive galactic hammers. 'We're here to b& you from the universe to4str!' the r04rbot and robobecky swung their hammers, banishing to4str to another dimension and flew off again. 'Looks like everything worked out ok!' said Meta. 'Oi' replied Killer Lettuce 'not exactly, the timeloops are still destabilising. There's nothing we can do to stop it!'. Brie cleared his throat, 'actually', he began saying 'there is. It is time I revealed the pooped pant prophecy to you'...
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 12 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #537,140
Brie pointed to Falco 'you can stop the timeloops' said Brie. Falco looked discombobulated, 'me?' he replied 'how? I'm too high'. A solemn look swept over Brie's face. 'It is your destiny. In the event there was a timeloop catastrophe, you were created to stop it'. A relieved atmosphere spread through the party, 'how?' asked Killer Lettuce. Brie took a deep breath, 'Falco must sacrifice himself by stepping into the middle of the timeloop anomaly. He will fade from existence'. The party jaws were agape as they collectively shat bricks. 'No!' pleaded Green, 'was Falco's life just yours to toy with? There must be another way!'. Brie shook his head, 'no, this is the only way. He will live on in your hearts and memories. Falco galantly walked towards the timeloop, a solitary tear falling down his face. 'No Green. I have to do it. It is my destiny' Falco said. Falco turned to the party and said his goodbyes. 'I wish I could shitpost as grate as you do' said McWalter. 'You should've tried meth' said Ks. 'You were my favourite shitposter' said Killer Lettuce. 'Would you eat a woman's shit?' said Matt. 'Ninjj' said ninjj. 'Beckydraad' said Dreamworks. And the rest of the party said goodby. Falco went up to Green and embraced him one last time, 'call the baby Stickybuns' he said with sorrow. Greens eyes watered and a monsoon of tears rained from his face. Falco walked into the timeloop anomaly, facing Green one last time. He said his final words; 'smoke weed everyday. Hey Green', said Falco unbuckling his jeans, 'pooped my pant hasnt yours' he said as he threw his pants into Green's muscular arms. Falco walked into the timeloop anomaly and vanished from all existence...
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #537,141
The party got back in the reptilian ship. 'We must get back to earth' said Brie hastily 'Falco's sacrifice will restart the big bang and restore the timeloops'. The party landed back on earth, but things didn't feel the same...
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 17 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #537,142
Epilogue
11 years from now.
Green had finished reading Stickybuns a bedtime story about the Great Twattering. 'Can I have some Yorkshire pudding?'. Green tutted 'now now Stickybuns. You're only half British'. Stickybuns sulked, 'can you tell me about my father?'. Green's heart felt a heavy pang of sorrow. He looked at the pooped pant hanging on the wall. 'Son' Green began saying, 'your father, Falco, was one of the bravest, heroic men I've ever met. I loved him more than I can express in words. Now that's enough cider. You've got school tomorrow'. Green left the house and went for a stroll. He looked up at the dazzling night sky and the gleaming constellation Falco that looked exactly like Falco smoking a giant joint. Green smiled as a single solitary tear rolled down his cheek when he read the words written in the stars; 'pooped my pant hasnt yours'.
The End
11 years from now.
Green had finished reading Stickybuns a bedtime story about the Great Twattering. 'Can I have some Yorkshire pudding?'. Green tutted 'now now Stickybuns. You're only half British'. Stickybuns sulked, 'can you tell me about my father?'. Green's heart felt a heavy pang of sorrow. He looked at the pooped pant hanging on the wall. 'Son' Green began saying, 'your father, Falco, was one of the bravest, heroic men I've ever met. I loved him more than I can express in words. Now that's enough cider. You've got school tomorrow'. Green left the house and went for a stroll. He looked up at the dazzling night sky and the gleaming constellation Falco that looked exactly like Falco smoking a giant joint. Green smiled as a single solitary tear rolled down his cheek when he read the words written in the stars; 'pooped my pant hasnt yours'.
The End
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 3 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #537,152
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 4 days later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #537,861
Minichan Fanfic Prequel: The Fanta Menace
'I love you Falco' said Green, 'even though I have only known you a few hours'. Falco did a jig then slammed his bum on the ground, leaving a heart-shaped dent on the concrete. Green gasped in amazement at Falco's skill. 'You have quite the muscular bum. In fact, I daresay, you have steelbuns'. Falco winked and whipped out his 13 inch penis. 'In a minute' said Green, 'I am thirsty'. Falco and Green strutted their stuff to a vending machine. What they saw left them in dismay and horror. 'The Fanta is all sold out!' shouted Falco...
'I love you Falco' said Green, 'even though I have only known you a few hours'. Falco did a jig then slammed his bum on the ground, leaving a heart-shaped dent on the concrete. Green gasped in amazement at Falco's skill. 'You have quite the muscular bum. In fact, I daresay, you have steelbuns'. Falco winked and whipped out his 13 inch penis. 'In a minute' said Green, 'I am thirsty'. Falco and Green strutted their stuff to a vending machine. What they saw left them in dismay and horror. 'The Fanta is all sold out!' shouted Falco...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 31 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #537,878
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 19 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #537,883
@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
I got a lot of fan mail asking me to tie up loose ends, bring in new characters and give a little backstory on our beloved heroes. The only way to do that after Falco's un-existence is a prequel. Events occur directly before the original Falco Fanfic.
I got a lot of fan mail asking me to tie up loose ends, bring in new characters and give a little backstory on our beloved heroes. The only way to do that after Falco's un-existence is a prequel. Events occur directly before the original Falco Fanfic.
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 37 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #537,890
Chapter B: The Transformation
Walter had just finished a triathlon. 'By golly gosh, am I hungry' he wheezed. 'I need a salad'. He started heading towards the salad bar when an enticing aroma entered his nostrils. 'What is that smell? A McDonalds? Well, just this once won't hurt'. Walter entered the McDonalds and ordered small fries and a hamburger. 'Not bad' he said as he finished. He then went to order another. Halfway through his second hamburger, a strange feeling overwhelmed Walter. He started shaking and drooling, 'wha-what's happening?' he stuttered. All of a sudden he put on 160lbs and became the McWalter. 'All that transforming has made me parched' he said. He went up to the thing what where you do order food. 'I'll have a cup of Fanta please'. The waiter glared at McWalter, 'all the Fanta is sold out' said he...
Walter had just finished a triathlon. 'By golly gosh, am I hungry' he wheezed. 'I need a salad'. He started heading towards the salad bar when an enticing aroma entered his nostrils. 'What is that smell? A McDonalds? Well, just this once won't hurt'. Walter entered the McDonalds and ordered small fries and a hamburger. 'Not bad' he said as he finished. He then went to order another. Halfway through his second hamburger, a strange feeling overwhelmed Walter. He started shaking and drooling, 'wha-what's happening?' he stuttered. All of a sudden he put on 160lbs and became the McWalter. 'All that transforming has made me parched' he said. He went up to the thing what where you do order food. 'I'll have a cup of Fanta please'. The waiter glared at McWalter, 'all the Fanta is sold out' said he...
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 1 day later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #538,240
Matt was gallavanting around Lousiana. 'Ghee wiz' he said 'I sure am thirsty'. He made his way to Walmart for some Fanta, when whom should he chance to meet but his old nemesis. 'Thee thy or eye going to re re re: die' said Syntax. Matt was ready. He opened a tin of hotdogs and downed them, turning into Indy the Failer Man. Indy pulled down his anus and aimed his pants, knocking Syntax off his hoverboard. Indy quickly got onto an electric scooter and tried to lose Syntax in the sewers. Syntax remained hot on his tail...
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 13 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #538,242
Ks was extremely nervous. He had just started a meth business and was looking too expand his operation. He had travelled all the way to London to meet with a dealer. He was sweating like one of Matt's hotdogs. Ks entered an abandoned Poundland where the dealer was. 'My name is to4str, give me the fucking meth m8'. Ks apprehensively gave to4str the meth m8. to4str snorted it and uploaded a rage vocaroo, 'THIS IS NOT KETAMINE!' he shouted as he snorted some ketamine. 'GUARDS! KILL HIM!' he said as his guards got out their lazer pens. Ks tore off a mirror and reflected their shots. However he was surrounded and the chavs were closing in on him...
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 4 days later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,048
'We must get to the minichan bar in Cornwall' said Falco, 'they must have Fanta!'. Green and Falco carjacked a hearse and started driving to Cornwall. Suddenly, there was a tapping on Green's shoulder 'HOLY FUCK A ZOMBIE!' exclaimed Green. Falco strapped on his dildo and got out the car. 'It looks like it's time for a boss battle Green', replied Falco, 'don't worry, I've made an awesome boss theme on soundcloud to play in the background. I am also a level 21 black mage'. Green put on his white mage costume. Our heroes were ready...
Green (OP) sextuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,049
It had been 5 minutes since McWalter had had a McDonalds, he was famished. He got on his segway and made haste to another McDonalds. But when he got there, he saw a vision of unimaginable horror. McDonalds. Was. Closed...
Green (OP) septuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,050
Indy escaped from the sewer. 'That was a doozy by jimminy' he panted. He heard some crying. 'Walter!' he said as his shtick grew in his pants. 'What are you doing here?'. Walter turned to Matt, his eyes wetter than a bath that was filled with water, 'McDonalds is closed!' he murmured. Matt started having a chuckle bros m8. 'Typical, bland USAmerican food. If it means that much to you, we shall go to Cornwall! They must have a McDonalds! If not, you shall have all the pasties you can eat!'. The two swashbuckling adventures stole a plane from the airport and made haste to Cornwall...
Green (OP) octuple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,051
Suddenly, a car appeared out of nowhere crashing into Poundland and knocking down the chavs. A naked man jumped out. 'Quickly! Get in!' Ks obliged. 'Who are you?' he queried. Postmortem lit up a cigarette, 'I am the greatest man that ever lived. You wish you could be me. My name is Postmortem, but my friends call me John because I like to jack off in front of them and pose naked for creepy, fat, bald men'. Ks snorted some meth. 'We need to hide from to4str and his army!' Ks explained. Postmortem became focused. 'We can lose them in Cornwall'. Little did they know, to4str had already entered his Fiat Punto...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 2 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,082
This continues to be the finest tale yet.
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 14 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,233
Zombie wants to battle
(Final Fantasy 6 boss theme playing in the background)
Falco used Firaga. A critical hit! It's super effective!
Zombie used bite. Bite missed.
Green used cure 3.
Zombie fainted.
Green and Falco gained 250 exp points.
Falco leveled up!
Falco learned dimensional dildos!
'Wow. That was a tough boss fight said Green' said Green. 'Now onwards, to Cornwall. But first, we must stop at Tesco'...
(Final Fantasy 6 boss theme playing in the background)
Falco used Firaga. A critical hit! It's super effective!
Zombie used bite. Bite missed.
Green used cure 3.
Zombie fainted.
Green and Falco gained 250 exp points.
Falco leveled up!
Falco learned dimensional dildos!
'Wow. That was a tough boss fight said Green' said Green. 'Now onwards, to Cornwall. But first, we must stop at Tesco'...
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.4 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,234
Falco and Green stopped at Tesco, but Green was greeted with a sign of unimaginable terror; 'Tesco is closed!' Green screamed. Falco shat all over the floor and made diarrhea angels. 'This is no time for frivolities' said Green. 'We must make it to Cornwall or all hope is lost!'. Falco was overcome with nobility, 'the steaks have never been higher! We must stop this things from happen!'...
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,235
Postmortem put the petal to the metal, 'we have made it to Cornwall' Ks said, relieved. They started to slow down, when they noticed lazers were being aimed at the car. 'Oh shit, he's gaining on us!' whispered John frantically. To4str was right behind them, when a tractor appeared out of nowhere and rammed him off the road. The man on the tractor had the rage of a 1000 suns. 'Ye noofter steal ma pasty it do fookin' nay hell. I'll push ya down the apples and pairs a sticky wicket!'...
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.4 years ago, 11 hours later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,298
Falco and Green skidded into Cornwall to a site most shenaniganly. 'It's a pile up on the M4' explained Green. Falco's anus exploded in excitement. 'We must help that naked gentleman and that biker!' said Falco enthusiastically. Our heroes made it to the pile up and helped Postmortem and Ks. Suddenly to4str burst out of his Fiat shouting 'if only I had painted my brake callipers!'. The cornish man jumped off his tractor and started explaining how he had no name. Suddenly, a man ran up to them smoking a lettuce. 'Hi my name is Tekamine and I am smoking a lettuce!' he said. He then died. RIP. 'Haha!' said the Cornish man, 'henceforth I shall be known as Killer Lettuce!'. To4str was full of fury and took out his lazers. 'Wait!' Killer Lettuce vociferated, 'tis 6'obong!'...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.4 years ago, 48 minutes later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,315
Green (OP) replied with this 9.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.3 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,320
To4str put away his lazers and got out his toaster. He toasted some crumpets, buttered them and tossed them to Killer Lettuce and Green. The three then proceeded to do a jig and saluted the Queen. '6'obong, jam and scone' aformentioned Green. '6'obong for thee, biscuits and tea!' replied to4str. Ks, Postmortem and Falco were an epilepsy. After 6'obong had finished, to4str resumed his lazer. 'Quick, on me tractor you poncy arse fairies!' aforesaid Killer Lettuce. Our heroes made for the Minichan bar without delay...
Anonymous X joined in and replied with this 9.4 years ago, 2 days later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,714
Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 1 day later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,878
The party arrived at the bar to see that McWalter and Indy were already there. Falco went up to the bartender, 'a can of Fanta' he said. r04r turned round, 'I'm afraid somebody has stolen the world's supply of Fanta' she said. Falco took out a gun and started shooting up the bar. 'Fear not!' r04r continued, 'for I have a lead. I believe there are only 2 people who could be responsible for this travesty; Syntax or Kimmo. Therefore, I shall split you up into 2 teams. Matt, Walter, Ks and Postmortem; you will be Team USA and see if Syntax has stolen the Fanta. Falco, Green and Killer Lettuce; you shall be Team Britain and follow up on the Kimmo lead. Now go forth my brave prayer warriors, for in Jesus, you shall be blessed! Any questions?'. Killer Lettuce raised his hand, r04r nodded, 'yes?' she asked. Killer Lettuce was overcome with fear; 'but miss, we don't know where anontalk HQ is'. All of a sudden, the bar door got kicked down. It was to4str! 'I know where it is. But you'll have to bring me along' he said slyly...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.3 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,884
Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 7 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #539,918
'This can only end badly' said Green. Killer Lettuce smiled; 'well I think it's a jolly smashing good idea!' he retorted. Green and Falco gasped 'really?' riddled Green. A stern look swept over Killer Lettuce's face 'no, I was being sarcastic. I don't trust anyone who can't paint their brake callipers'. Green sighed, 'well like it or not, he is the only way we can get to anontalk towers. What do you think, Falco?'. Falco just replied with 'smoke weed every day'. Green snapped his fingers, 'of course!' he piped enthusiastically, 'to4str grows his own weed'. to4str gave Falco a bag of weed. Falco looked at it with disgust, 'ugh. This isn't fully grown and it's the male plant'. to4str chuckled maliciously 'just the way I like it' he said with a snide smile on his face...
Anonymous M replied with this 9.3 years ago, 12 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,116
@previous (Green)
> This isn't fully grown and it's the male plant'. to4str chuckled maliciously 'just the way I like it'
damnlol
> This isn't fully grown and it's the male plant'. to4str chuckled maliciously 'just the way I like it'
damnlol
Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 5 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,159
Team America got on a speedboat and headed off to America. Little did they know, Syntax was watching with his 10 mile satellites. Syntax sent his top surfer hitmen after them. 'Crikey mate!' said McWalter, 'stingrays off our port!'. Ks slapped McWalter, 'too soon you insensitive bastard' he bellowed. The stingrays were gaining on our heroes. 'This looks like the end'... murmured Postmortem...
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.3 years ago, 2 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,175
Team Britain were having a chuckle. to4str used his lazer pen to down a helicopter. The party rekt the crew and hi-jacked it. They flew towards, Switzerland, but were almost out of fuel. Killer Lettuce was confused, 'isn't anontalk towers in Sweden'. to4str uploaded a rage vocaroo 'FUCK!'. Team Britain spotted an aircraft carrier in the distance and landed. Little did they know about the Shrekoning that was about to occur...
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 20 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,401
Matt evaded the stingrays, but they surrounded the boat. Ks weeped, 'looks like this is the end!'. Suddenly, Team USA heard some horrifying music in the distance. 'Oh, who lives in...' and then it faded. 'pourous is he...' the music started getting louding. Suddenly, a terrifying creature leapt out of the water. 'WHAT IN OBLIVION IS THAT?!' Ks asked. 'GIANT SPONGEBOB!' replied Postmortem. The Giant Spongebob stared at the team with cold, soulless eyes. He then took out an AK-47 'ALLAHU AKBAR! he roared and shot the stingrays. He then turned back to face the party and slowly approached them...
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 2 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,418
Team Britain landed on the aircraft carrier. 'I'll go get the plane petrol' said to4str. The rest of Team Britain relaxed with tea and scones. 'You can't spell team without tea!' giggle Killer Lettuce. 'There is no I in team' added Falco. 'But there is a me!' Green concluded. Killer Lettuce applauded, 'bravo, good chap! What a jolly good romp this is!'. However the tea party was cut short by a bottle of Mountain Dew smashing the mugs. Killer Lettuce could barely contain his rage 'I do say old boy! That was my fine china! Lord Fainsworth decreed it unto me!'. Green was equally riled, 'oi m8! me and my posse r gonna bear twat u, u r 1 cheeky little kunt m8'. The criminals who disrupted the tea party approached the Blue Team. 'We are le 9gag army! Surrender or die!'...
Sexy Woman (OP) quintuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 6 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,530
'Fuck' said Matt, 'looks like its time for bi
g
g
Anonymous Z-1 joined in and replied with this 9.3 years ago, 16 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,666
http://puu.sh/gIaLA/32b24e3413.png
goddamn it, op. the only fanfic character that mattered and theyre not even in it
goddamn it, op. the only fanfic character that mattered and theyre not even in it
Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 40 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,672
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.3 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,688
@540,666 (Z-1)
@previous (Green)
I did enjoy the Vocalon fanfic.
Here it is:
https://minichan.org/topic/19653
@previous (Green)
I did enjoy the Vocalon fanfic.
Here it is:
https://minichan.org/topic/19653
Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 19 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,869
'Time for a boss battle' proclaimed Matt. Final Fantasy 4 boss theme playing in the background.
Matt used tax evasion.
Matt's evasive rose!
Giant Spongebob used jellyfish jihad!
Postmortem fainted.
Ks used meth madness.
A critical hit! It's super-effective!
Giant Spongebob was defeated!
The Red Team gained 500exp.
'That was intense and I'm sure the readers loved it' said Matt. 'Now, we are almost at Cardiff by the Sea'...
Matt used tax evasion.
Matt's evasive rose!
Giant Spongebob used jellyfish jihad!
Postmortem fainted.
Ks used meth madness.
A critical hit! It's super-effective!
Giant Spongebob was defeated!
The Red Team gained 500exp.
'That was intense and I'm sure the readers loved it' said Matt. 'Now, we are almost at Cardiff by the Sea'...
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.3 years ago, 9 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,870
to4str was huffing petrol 'I AM SO FUCKING READY!' he vocarooed. He starting clothes-lining 9gaggers. He needed more power, so he did some lines of ketamine and started punching 9gaggers off the aircraft carrier. Green started buttering Bibles and hit them with his cricket bat. He then started throwing NHS dentist signs at them. But the 9gaggers were too numerous. 'We are overwhelmed!' exclaimed Falco, 'what do we do?'. Killer Lettuce had an air of warriorness about his face. 'We are channers. We must summon Moot'...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.3 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,871
Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 41 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,874
'So thee thy or eye have cum' said a voice behind Matt. 'You are going down old man!' he retorted. Matt took out his hotdog gun and shot one off down Syntax's throat. 'Thee will haff to try harder than that. Better than Chinese food. Well. Eye must go to my secret base now. >>>zo0oOm' said Syntax. 'Curses' said Ks punching McWalter in the belly, 'foiled again'. Matt was laughing. 'Haha! That hotdog contained a tracking device! When Syntax arrives at his secret base, I shall have my friend Protip geolocate him. Now, lets have McDonalds while we wait'. McWalter squealed with joy...
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.3 years ago, 5 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,982
Team USA were enjoying a gourmet McDonalds meal. McWalter had a heavy weight on his shoulders. 'It is the 21st century', thought McWalter, I'm sure they'll accept me for who I am. 'Guys' said McWalter with a serious tone, 'I have a confession to make. I'm gay'. Ks spat his McShake all over Postmortem, whilst Matt almost choked on his McNugget. 'Wtf?!' shouted Ks. Matt shook his head, 'why did you choose to be gay?'. Postmortem started slapping his penis in McWalter's face, 'I think we should take him to a gay camp' he added. Suddenly, a pickup truck crashed into McDonalds and a texan jumped out, 'y'all need Jesus' he said. Matt suddenly had a grave look on his face. 'McWalter, we will talk about your shenanigans later. I've just got a text from AC. He's found Syntax. He's in the Falklands Islands'...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.3 years ago, 13 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,991
Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 10 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #540,997
Moot ascended from the heavens, 'SOUP!' he roared. Moot was wielding Mjölnir. He swung the hammer and banned the 9gagger to hell. Team Britain applauded Moot's valiance. 'How can we ever repay you?' asked Killer Lettuce. Moot stared him right in the eye and said 'BRB SOUP' and flew off. Team Britain got in the helicopter and flew to the lovely woods. 'Kimmo's evil lair is just through here' to4str said smugly. The team traversed the lovely woods and arrived at Pizza Pizza Hagersten, the disguise for Kimmo's lair. They walked through the door when to4str pulled out a gun, 'in that cage, over there' he said. 'WHA-' Killer Lettuce said shocked, 'I can't believe to4str betrayed us!'. Loud clapping echoed around the building. 'Well done to4str' a man said Swedishly, 'you've earned this shota'. Team Britain could barely contain their rage. 'KIMMO, FREE THE FUCKING FANTA, TESCOS AND MCDONALDS!' bawled Green. Kimmo snickered, 'you psychotic fucktards think that was my doing? Such trivial villainry is beneath me. No. My evil plan is to teach the world the meaning of the moon. By blowing it up!'...
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.3 years ago, 15 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #541,264
'I have a confession to make' spoke Killer Lettuce, 'I'm addicted to heroin'. Killer Lettuce shot up then used the needle to pick the lock on the cage door. Team Britain rushed to Kimmo's control room, where they heard a countdown booming around the room. 7...6...5. 'Green, hit the giant red cancel button!' shouted Killer Lettuce. Green reached out for the button just as the countdown rolled down to 1...
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 12 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #541,271
Harleen was painting her nails. 'This is not relevant to the plot, it's just filler' she said. 'Krodan darling, bring in the tea. People are reading about us'. Krodan brought in the tea. 'What I don't understand is how Team USA could have eaten at McDonalds, if all of them had shoot down'. Krodan sipped some tea and said, 'I have a logical explanation. Team USA must have temporarily entered a timeloop where the whole world is a giant McDonalds'. Harley gasped, 'why ghee whiz, that's a brilliant idea'...
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 6 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #541,364
'You missed the fucking button Green' Killer Lettuce said in disbelief. 'Well maybe it's because I'm drunk. Jesus, show some consideration and check your sober privilege' retorted Green. Team Britain looked on in horror at Kimmo's view screen as they watched a lazer beam blow up the moon in half. 'PSYCHOTIC FUCKTARDS!' Kimmo posted in a rage bulletin. 'It was supposed to completely shitlist the moon'. Falco was having a nervous breakdown. 'Can't you fire at it again?' replied Green. 'No' said Kimmo, 'I only had enough money for one shot'. Suddenly Green's mobile began ringing; 'Green, it's your forafather. You need to come to the Falkland Islands right now'. Falco was hallucinating purple gophers. 'The moon has just been blown up!' explained Green. 'Listen you little shit, Syntax has crossed the line, I want you to know there are more important things to deal with right now'. Green hung up the phone. 'We need to get to the Falklands' he said, 'GET TO DA CHOPPA!'...
Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 19 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #541,650
Team Britain crash-landed in the Falklands and were apprehended by argentinians. 'For Maggie! !' declared Killer Lettuce as he threw shit-filled pasties everywhere. Falco lubed up the argentinian flagpole and penetrated Green's anus. Green then shat out the Union Jack (I don't give a fuck what it's called on land). Matt waved at the party; 'they've built a wall to keep the Brits out' he explained, 'they sure are mad, in fact, they're downright argentinian'...
Green (OP) sextuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 23 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #541,928
'How do we get past the wall?' pondered Killer Lettuce. Suddenly, the Top Gear team crashed into the wall, bringing it down. Jeremy Clarkson stepped out and said, 'Green, you are the sexiest Britain there ever did. You must take back the Falklands' Jezza then punched McWalter. Green's heart was filled with patrioticity. 'Falco and the rest of you USAmericans, stay back here. We brits have a score to settle. We will not surrender!' said Green in a speech. Matt stood up, 'let me come to Green' he declared, 'I have a score to settle with an old man'...
Green (OP) septuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 4 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #541,956
'How do we get past the wall?' pondered Killer Lettuce. Suddenly, the Top Gear team crashed into the wall, bringing it down. Jeremy Clarkson stepped out and said, 'Green, you are the sexiest Britain there ever did. You must take back the Falklands' Jezza then punched McWalter. Green's heart was filled with patrioticity. 'Falco and the rest of you USAmericans, stay back here. We brits have a score to settle. We will not surrender!' said Green in a speech. Matt stood up, 'let me come to Green' he declared, 'I have a score to settle with an old man'...
rood boi Green (OP) octuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 27 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #541,962
Lucky I'm drinking as my phone copy and pasted the wrong thing. I have to rewrite this chapter over again.
'Charge!' commanded Green, as he threw jam and crumpets at the argentinians as Killer Lettuce covered him with cornish pasties. Team Britain fought valiantly and cleared the way for Matt so that he could confront Syntax. Syntax took out his lightsaber and Matt did the same. The two fought until Matt had cornered Syntax. Matt raised his machete for the killing blow...
'Charge!' commanded Green, as he threw jam and crumpets at the argentinians as Killer Lettuce covered him with cornish pasties. Team Britain fought valiantly and cleared the way for Matt so that he could confront Syntax. Syntax took out his lightsaber and Matt did the same. The two fought until Matt had cornered Syntax. Matt raised his machete for the killing blow...
rood boi Green (OP) nonuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 11 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #541,963
'Any last words, old man?' Matt asked. Syntax laffed, 'Aufrized Clone never told you what happened to your father' Syntax replied. Matt started getting angry' he told me the IRS jailed him'. Syntax laughed even harder; 'no Matt, thee thy or eye AM your father!. After I escaped prison, I got plastic surgery and assumed a new identity. One Mr L Goldstein. The only way I could talk to you was through obscure internet forums, but your posts drove me insane and all that is left is Syntax. Now join me son, it is your destiny!' said Syntax. Matt roared, 'NEVER!' but the battle was cut short by a tsunami heading their way...
Green fan (OP) decuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 6 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #542,055
'Your mom' said Anonymu
Green fan (OP) undecuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 1 minute later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #542,056
I am anlolwjamous J
Anonymous 6 (OP) duodecuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #542,058
I am Anonymous M, the biggest Cunt, Green should go on a writer's strike.
Anonymous 6 (OP) tridecuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 1 minute later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #542,060
'your mom' said adonis p
Green (OP) quattuodecuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 1 minute later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #542,063
Anonymous M replied with this 9.3 years ago, 6 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #542,113
Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 1 day later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #542,341
'10 myle tsunami' said Syntax excitedly, 'surfs RE: UP UP UP!' Said Syntax as he got out his Luigi board. 'Oh shit' said Green, 'what the hell caused that tsunami?'. Killer Lettuce became as hard as a statue as he was bracing himself. The wave crashed on the island like Postmortem crashing into a convenience store. The wave washed up the party, scattering them...
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.3 years ago, 12 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #542,343
'Where the fuck are we?' pondered Killer Lettuce. 'Green?'. In the distance, Killer Lettuce spotted McWalter having an epilepsy. 'WE'RE IN FUCKING MICHIGAN!' McWalter roared. 'Smoke weed every day' added Falco. Suddenly, Killer Lettuce felt a bump in the noggin. It was John! Killer Lettuce regrouped the party. 'We need to find the others' he said. 'Lets head in the direction of the Falklands!'. All of a sudden, they heard the cracking of a whip. A woman wearing all latex and leather walked up to them. 'You're not going anywhere my pretties. My names Buspuppie, but my friends call me Kook'...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.3 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #542,345
Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 10 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #542,348
Green was crying prolificly; he had lost his Falco. He felt some manly hands touch his shoulder, it was Ks! 'It's ok Green' he said with a sorrowful tone, 'I have lost my John. We will find them'. Matt collapsed onto a sofa. 'I would like to go to downtown Kunming' he said to the cushion. 'Thee thy or eye cood use a hand' said Syntax, falling out of the sky. 'Eye will agree 2 help u wiv my 10 myle sattelytes, but only if you beat me in a dance off'...
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.3 years ago, 2 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #542,355
Kook summoned her slave, Catherine. She crushed his balls and set him loose on the party. 'Is that all you've got?' sniggered Killer Lettuce (lol nigger; don't blame me, blame the english language. I myself am a strong, independant black who don't need no man on the inside). Catherine started running around in circles, flapping his arms. 'HOLY SHIT!' exclaimed McWalter, 'multiple Catherines!'. Catherine had a hearty laugh. 'Yes' the Catherines said, 'we are all sims'. Falco wasn't having no bullshit today, he bravely approached the Catherines. Killer Lettuce yanked him back, 'careful, they could be checking their privilege'...
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 17 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #542,509
Green jumped into Bella and out-danced Syntax. Syntax conceded defeat and contacted Qualcomm. 'Qualcomm haff loc8ed the other party members. They r in RE: Michigan' said Syntax. Green was a nobility, 'how far is it?' he asked. Syntax jumped in his car and hollad 'a 15 minute drive from me'. Matt, Green and Ks put there hands in a pile and got psyched up, 'OOOHH RAH, ROOD BOIS!' they shouted before they entered Syntax's car. Syntax drove the party to Michigan and they exited the car. Killer Lettuce came out to greet them. 'Hello guys' Killer Lettuce said, he then took out a gun, pulled the trigger and fired it at Green...
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 3 days later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #543,361
Syntax used his kevlar surfboard to shield Green from the bullets. 'Are thee insane?' asked Syntax? Kook appear and said 'I have mind controlled KL and the rest of your friends. Ks was fucking pissed and snorted meth. KS then threw a bottle of gin to Green. Kook stood in shocked awe. 'No. Green will surely kill us all' she said. Falco went and bitchslapped Green. 'Falco!' exclaimed Matt. 'How could you hit your girlfriend?'. Kook laughed, 'he was resistant to my mind control, so I laced his weed with PCP!' she replied. Green looked Falco in the eye, a duel was brewing...
Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 37 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #543,368
'Who has betrayed us?' asked Ks. Matt had a sombre look on his face. 'Fake_anon the traitourous jew has betrayed us!' he said.
Green (OP) sextuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 14 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #543,370
'And yet Green is gin' said Killer Lettuce. Jesus fucking christ said
Green (OP) septuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #543,373
'Green is gin. Green will kill us all' said Postmortem.
Green (OP) octuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 1 day later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #543,724
'Kill them all' said Kook. The sober team faced off Kook's puppets, but it was a stalemate. 'We need to destroy Kook's whip' Green mused, 'it must be a mind-control antenna'. Ks started hitting his head into a wall, 'this fanfic has gone downhill' he said taking out a gun, 'I am going to kill myself!'. Matt rushed to Ks and prized the gun out of his hand. 'I have a confession to make' Matt proclaimed, 'I have terminal autism. It is in it's final stage'. Green was shocked, but he had no time take in the news because something terrible had befallen McWalter, 'quick!' shouted Green, 'McWalter has eaten himself'. Postmortem got out his phone and started to dial 911 when he fell into a coma...
Green (OP) nonuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 8 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #543,725
Green had had enough, he drank a bottle of Tesco Value Cider and approached Kook. Kook started whipping Green, so he turned around and let his bum take the lashing. He then took cook's whip and destroyed it in his kettle. Killer Lettuce snapped out of his trance and fell to the floor. 'John!' he cried, 'wake up!'. Kook was laughing maniacally. 'Bert!' she bellowed, 'everclear time!'. The ground started to shake...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.3 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #543,738
Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 5 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #543,770
Killer Lettuce picked up John and the rest of the party started to run with the Bert chasing after them. 'I need..Wendy's' roared Bert. Bert hurled empty everclear bottles at the party. Kook saddled up and rode Bert. The party sprinted, 'quick, into that MTG tournament' commanded Green. Fake_Anon had a winning a straight flush of MTG cards, he had betted his entire gold on this hand, just as he was about to place the cards down, Bert ran in and knocked the table over in a drunken rage. At that moment, Mark snapped. He was fucking pissed...
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 9.3 years ago, 34 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #543,784
Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #543,789
Mark took out his katanas, jumped on his giant dreidel and span around, killing everyone at the MTG tournament. The judge decided it was not a legal move and disqualified Mark. Mark began to cry whilst Bert mocked him, 'what...is the matter..triptych....where are you?'. Fake_anon raised his staff. 'It's my Bar Mitzvah and I'll cry if I want to!' he shouted. Suddenly a beam of light penetrated the sky. It was Yahweh! Yahweh flicked Bert and Kook onto mars. Triptych came running towards the party. 'I know who stole the Fanta!' she panted, 'quick, follow the Fanta river!'. Suddenly a pickup truck crashed into the MTG tournament. 'Howdy y'all! My name is Meta and someone has stolen all my Bibles, so I want to offer you guys a lift'. Falco was excited.
kook !!mCVqftDha joined in and replied with this 9.3 years ago, 5 days later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #545,001
I love you so much.
Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 11 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #545,060
I'm only here to finish the fanfic.
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.3 years ago, 9 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #545,063
The party followed the Fanta river for what seemed like aeons. Finally they came to a dead end. Matt sniffed the air. 'That smell' he began, 'it smells like Cheetos and Mountain Dew'. The party looked as the Fanta gushed into a basement like a waterfall. 'I believe' said Falco smoking on his pipe, 'our culprit lies tither yonder the basement door'. Matt was overcome by autism and ran head first into the door, breaking it down. A most horrifying site greeted them. 'It can't be' said Ks. The man welcomed them; 'wow. The Doctor sure is mad. Haha! Look, it's phatfuck and the legion of faggots!'...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.3 years ago, 29 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #545,071
Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 45 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #545,096
'Yes Killer Lettuce, it is the great gash!' said TG. 'And here are my associates, Scatman and a wee british schoolboy. Since you are about to die, I will reveal my masterful plan. Scatman and I and me plan to make the most popular BBS of all time, greater than minichan. I stole all the Fanta, McDonalds and Tescos in the world so that I never have to leave the basement again and can modabuse 24/7. Ciao. ~The Gash.'. Fake_anon threw his foreskin down in disgust, triggering Walter to debate about it. 'You won't win TG!' said Fake_anon, 'we have the power in our hearts. United we stand and other crappy bullshit! Fuck it, I'll just phone r04r'. r04r flew into the basement and b& scatman and TG. 'That was easy' commented John, awakening from his comma. Meta scratched his head. 'No. Something is wrong' he said. 'TG couldn't have come up with a plan as brilliant as this. This isn't over!'. An eerie silence followed Meta's speech, but it was soon interrupted by singing. 'Oh a catman, a catman, a catman'...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.3 years ago, 3 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #545,111
Meowth joined in and replied with this 9.3 years ago, 11 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #545,231
War Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 1 day later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #545,494
'It's Jan!' remarked Killer Lettuce. Jan smiled vindictively.
'Lieutenants Gizmo, Murray and GaryOak, seal the exits!' commanded Jan. 'So, you have finally found out that I, am the Fanta Menace. Bravo. Well, seeing as I am about to feed you to the dogbears, I will reveal my evil plan'. Ks was overcome with autism. 'Why are you telling us this?' he said. 'I mean, if you're about to kill us, do we even need to know?'. Jan slapped him. 'I love hearing myself speak so you will shut the fuck up and listen to my plan you little bitch' said Jan. 'Yes, I fooled TG into stealing all the world's Fanta as I plan never to leave this basement. You see, I am going to use a tractor beam to crash the moon into the earth. This basement is surrounded by 100 feet thick lead, so will protect me from the radiation when the moon explodes. Then, I will take over tinychan again, with the rest of the world dead, I will have 100% of the userbase of moarth. Now witness the destruction of your home humans, and be shocked by the union of the earth and the moon. Gizmo! Activate the tractor beam!' shouted Jan...
'Lieutenants Gizmo, Murray and GaryOak, seal the exits!' commanded Jan. 'So, you have finally found out that I, am the Fanta Menace. Bravo. Well, seeing as I am about to feed you to the dogbears, I will reveal my evil plan'. Ks was overcome with autism. 'Why are you telling us this?' he said. 'I mean, if you're about to kill us, do we even need to know?'. Jan slapped him. 'I love hearing myself speak so you will shut the fuck up and listen to my plan you little bitch' said Jan. 'Yes, I fooled TG into stealing all the world's Fanta as I plan never to leave this basement. You see, I am going to use a tractor beam to crash the moon into the earth. This basement is surrounded by 100 feet thick lead, so will protect me from the radiation when the moon explodes. Then, I will take over tinychan again, with the rest of the world dead, I will have 100% of the userbase of moarth. Now witness the destruction of your home humans, and be shocked by the union of the earth and the moon. Gizmo! Activate the tractor beam!' shouted Jan...
War Green (OP) double-posted this 9.3 years ago, 8 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #545,619
'Psychotic fucktards!' said a voice. Kimmo crashed into the basement. 'Jan, your plan is an unauthorized clone of my evil scheme to destroy the moon. Heroes of minichan, get back. I will deal with Jan'. Jan looked at Kimmo with contempt. 'You haven't met my cuckold, have you, Johan' said Jan. Jan brought fourth Moot as Gizmo activated the tractor beam. Gizmo then pulled out a gun and shot Jan. 'I'm afraid I will be tinychan's sole admin'. Gizmo then shot Moot. 'Whoops' said Gizmo. Ks looked at his shoes, disheartened. 'There is nothing we can do', he said, 'we've lost'...
War Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #545,622
Matt threw his fully rugged macbook pro at Gizmo, but to no avail. 'What's that whooshing sound?' queried Meta. 'It's r04r!'. r04r burst in and dispatched Gizmo with ease. 'It's no use' bellowed Green, 'we can't reverse the tractor beam. r04r cried as she took out a bomb. 'I will gladly sacrifice myself for you brave minichanners' she said. Ks pulled himself together. 'Everyone out! This place is going to blow!'...
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 1 day later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #546,108
Ks shot the lock off of the basement door with his shotgun and the party started to run. Suddenly, the whole basement blasted into an explosion. 'Killer Lettuce started to cry' said Falco. 'r04r is gone' sobbed Matt. Postmortem lit up a cigarette and said 'in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Amen'. Meta facepalmed his face with his palm, 'what do we do about the moon?' he asked in a panicked tone. Green winked at Falco as he shook up a couple of bottles of Tesco Value Cider. 'Strap these on' Green ordered Falco. Green and Falco held hands and started to count down...
Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 8 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #546,109
'GET FUCKED!' shouted an angry british man as he approached the rubble. He found what he was looking for; a fully rugged macbook pro™. 'Hello r04r' said Sim. Sim knew r04r's plan and how she had grown tired of her human life and her cold toes. She had uploaded her concioussness onto the macbook. 'Lets get you out of this crappy software and into an android suit' said Sim as he downloaded r04r onto a USB. He then uploaded r04r into a robot suit. r04r thanked Sim and started laughing. She then strangled him to death. 'No one can stop me now!' said the r04rbot...
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 9.3 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #546,110
@previous (Green)
Green, I just wanted to say that the clever, non-stop twists of your fanfics are truly masterful.
Green, I just wanted to say that the clever, non-stop twists of your fanfics are truly masterful.
Green (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 12 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #546,111
Green took the caps off the Tesco Value Cider and it propelled them to the moon. Falco sprayed sticky diarrhea all over the moon whilst Green took out his butter knife and Tesco Value Butter. 'Lets butter the moon back together!' said Green excitedly as he high-fived Falco's penis. Green and Falco flew around the moon and buttered it together. Green buttered some Bibles to the moon for good measure. After they had finished, Green's mobile started ringing. 'Falco, Green; it's the Queen. Come to Buckingham Palace so I can knight you for saving the moon'...
Green (OP) double-posted this 9.3 years ago, 18 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #546,113
Green (OP) triple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 1 hour later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #546,146
Green took out a Tesco carrier bag and parachuted to Buckingham Palace with Falco. The rest of the party were there, cheering and being merry. Falco and Green knelt before the Queen. The Queen raised her sword 'For your services to the planet, I now dub thee...' but before she could finish, Green stood up and twatted the Queen with a traffic cone...
Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 2 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #546,209
'Green! What the fuck are you doing?' shouted Killer Lettuce. Matt gasped in shock. 'You have committed treason!' said Matt. Postmortem fainted due to his massive erection. Green winked and slapped his bum and winked. 'This is not the Queen!' he said pulling of her mask. 'It's Kimmo!' said Fake_anon in a surprised tone. 'How did you know?' queried Kimmo as he raised his sword. Green laughed, 'my anus is a wormhole to another dimension and the Queen is there' said Green. Green pointed his anus to the ceiling and shat the Queen...
Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 14 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #546,362
The Queen duelled with Kimmo and exiled him back to Switzerland. She knighted Green and Falco. Meta was in floods of tears. 'All the Fanta blew up' he sobbed. Green winked at Falco as Falco fisted Green's wormhole and pulled out an ice cold Fanta. Meta took a shot of gin and gulped the Fanta down. 'Well yessiree! That hits the spot!' said Meta enthusiastically, 'but how do we get the rest out?'. Green ate a can of Heinz Beans, 'get me to Mount Everest'...
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Green (OP) sextuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 2 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #546,387
The party trekked to the Himalayas and started to ascend Mount Everest. They took a break halfway up and had some butt Fantas. 'You are all going to die here' said a sinister voice. Matt turned round, 'you sure are obsessed TG. Oh fuck' said Matt. TG had a bomb strapped to him and the timer said 5 seconds. Ks grabbed Postmortem by the penis, 'EVERYONE! UP GREEN'S BUM!' he shouted. Falco rubbed his hands and ran head first into Green's wormhole. Green put his head into his arse and entered his own wormhole...
Green (OP) septuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 9 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #546,555
'TG must have exploded by now' pontificated Matt, 'how do we get out?'. The party looked around in disarray, but found no wormhole entrance. 'NO!' shouted Killer Lettuce, 'we're stuck in Green's arse forever!'. Green winked and did a little jig and went up his own arse again. 'There's the exit again' said Postmortem pointing his penis in ecstasy. Green shat the party out. 'TG has exploded with mad' commented Matt. The party finally made it to the peak of the mountain. 'My body is ready' said Green as he unleashed his anus. 'KRAKATOA!' roared Green as he started to shoot out Fantas and Tescos back into the world. 'Something is wrong' said Fake_anon, 'the wormhole is collapsing, his rectum prolapsing'. Green started turning red. 'Something is stuck' said Green shaking. 'Push!' replied Falco. 'I see a head' said Killer Lettuce. 'It's McWalter!' said Matt astonished. McWalter finally exploded out of Green's bum and the wormhole collapsed...
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) octuple-posted this 9.3 years ago, 16 hours later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #546,793
The minions were victorious and everyone made their way home. Just as Falco and Green were reaching their home, ready for sexy time, a scientist approached them. 'My name is Erwin Schrödinger and I need a cat for my experiment'. Green hugged Falco in joy. 'Lets steal one of Becku's cat Green!' said Falco enthusiastically. Falco and Green went to Becku's appartment and stole a cat. 'Thank you' said Schrödinger, 'this will make an excellent dinner. Or will it?'. Green winked at Falco as they entered home. Falco whipped out his 10 inch penis and Green new he was in for a treat. "Get the dog suit" Green exclaimed as he was stroking his 12 inch penis. "You are the manliest man I
know Falco". "Pooped my pant hasn't yours?". Falco replied. Green winked. "Poopy pants time".
The End
know Falco". "Pooped my pant hasn't yours?". Falco replied. Green winked. "Poopy pants time".
The End
Anonymous C replied with this 9.3 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #546,800
Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) replied with this 9.3 years ago, 13 minutes later, 1.4 year after the original post[^] [v] #546,804
@previous (C)
Thank you Anonymous C! There will be another minichan fanfic, but it will be in a different thread because my phone can't handle it anymore.
Thank you Anonymous C! There will be another minichan fanfic, but it will be in a different thread because my phone can't handle it anymore.