Topic: Life Cycle of the Typical USAmerican Woman
Anonymous A started this discussion 13 years ago #31,634
Age 13-16: Starts messing around with boys. Gives her first blowjob. Discovers the sexual power she has over men.
Age 16-18: Loses virginity. Goes home with her boyfriend every day after school to fuck like a rabbit. Graduates high school having had 3 or 4 different guys.
Age 18-22: Embraces feminism. Spends college years fucking and sucking anything that moves. Lots of drunken 1-night stands, brief affairs, and spring break trips. Possible frat party gangbang and first/second abortion. Graduates college with 20 or more dicks on her namelist.
Age 23-29: Embraces grrl power. Works a shitty Human Resources job. Spends every weekend at the bar trying to get men to buy her things. Neverending rotation of boyfriends and one-night stands. One more abortion before she figures out how birth control works.
Age 30-37: Freaks out and realizes that she's getting old and must land a husband ASAP. Slutty behavior goes into overdrive as she tries to find the right guy. Becomes a "born again virgin" when she does find the right guy, in order to trick him into marriage. Starts crying when he dumps her for a younger girl who puts out. Gains 30 pounds.
Age 38-45: Resurgence of gyyyrrrll power. Realizes nobody wants her wrinkled ass so she becomes a career woman. Frequent sex tour vacations to Jamaica to get her groove back with herpes/hiv infected islanders. Gains 50 pounds.
Age 46-55: Suddenly finds herself alone and miserable(not counting the 8 cats). Retirement approaches but she has no money and must keep working in the HR department. Tries to be a slut again, but just looks pathetic, ugly, and sad. Gains 50 pounds.
Age 55+: Spends every weekend sitting on couch watching TV until she can no longer take life anymore. Eventually dies from obesity and/or heart attack.
Age 16-18: Loses virginity. Goes home with her boyfriend every day after school to fuck like a rabbit. Graduates high school having had 3 or 4 different guys.
Age 18-22: Embraces feminism. Spends college years fucking and sucking anything that moves. Lots of drunken 1-night stands, brief affairs, and spring break trips. Possible frat party gangbang and first/second abortion. Graduates college with 20 or more dicks on her namelist.
Age 23-29: Embraces grrl power. Works a shitty Human Resources job. Spends every weekend at the bar trying to get men to buy her things. Neverending rotation of boyfriends and one-night stands. One more abortion before she figures out how birth control works.
Age 30-37: Freaks out and realizes that she's getting old and must land a husband ASAP. Slutty behavior goes into overdrive as she tries to find the right guy. Becomes a "born again virgin" when she does find the right guy, in order to trick him into marriage. Starts crying when he dumps her for a younger girl who puts out. Gains 30 pounds.
Age 38-45: Resurgence of gyyyrrrll power. Realizes nobody wants her wrinkled ass so she becomes a career woman. Frequent sex tour vacations to Jamaica to get her groove back with herpes/hiv infected islanders. Gains 50 pounds.
Age 46-55: Suddenly finds herself alone and miserable(not counting the 8 cats). Retirement approaches but she has no money and must keep working in the HR department. Tries to be a slut again, but just looks pathetic, ugly, and sad. Gains 50 pounds.
Age 55+: Spends every weekend sitting on couch watching TV until she can no longer take life anymore. Eventually dies from obesity and/or heart attack.
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 9 minutes later[^] [v] #446,232
@OP
So no one in the US is married? Wow.
So no one in the US is married? Wow.
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 11 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #446,233
@OP
mad
mad
Anonymous B replied with this 13 years ago, 46 seconds later, 11 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #446,234
Triptych !IupsXZPnnU joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 41 minutes later, 53 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #446,240
Is that what your mum is like?
Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 25 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #446,247
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #446,248
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #446,258
Anonymous B replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #446,260
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 6 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #446,263
fred the bisexual lobster replied with this 13 years ago, 7 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #446,264
@previous (A)
actually russian.
dont let your enjoyment of sewer pipe dissuade you from your metal retardation though
actually russian.
dont let your enjoyment of sewer pipe dissuade you from your metal retardation though
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 17 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #446,266
Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #446,269
Asian women also hate you. What a surprise.
Ks joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #446,271
Okay now do Typical USAmerican Men.
Indy joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 9 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #446,274
I did not even make this thread, yet you angry, obsessed, stalking losers cannot stop stalking me in it! LMAO!