Topic: My favourite story of Jesus
The Owl !yshAAUvyds started this discussion 15 years ago #2,946
Is the time when a little boy splashed the mud in Jesus's brand new mud puddle with a stick, so jesus murders him.
"O evil, ungodly, and foolish one, what hurt did the pools and the waters do thee? Behold, now also thou shalt be withered like a tree, and shalt not bear leaves, neither root, nor fruit." And straightway that lad withered up wholly.
Source: Infancy Gospel of Thomas 3:2-3
"O evil, ungodly, and foolish one, what hurt did the pools and the waters do thee? Behold, now also thou shalt be withered like a tree, and shalt not bear leaves, neither root, nor fruit." And straightway that lad withered up wholly.
Source: Infancy Gospel of Thomas 3:2-3
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 10 minutes later[^] [v] #54,129
> cites a non-canonical Gospel
Oh ok.
Oh ok.
nimanj joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 45 minutes later, 56 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #54,175
> Infancy Gospel of Thomas This isn't in my Bible.
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 58 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #54,178
@54,129 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
> implying any story about Jesus is any moreso true or untrue than the canon accepted by the Catholic Church.
> implying any story about Jesus is any moreso true or untrue than the canon accepted by the Catholic Church.
Nega !.Y4iB6KrDo joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #54,182
LOL, that's just Filler outside the main continuity.The Owl !yshAAUvyds (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 56 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #54,184
@54,129 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
> implying what some faggots 300 years after it supposedly happened say happened should have any bearing on anything
> implying so hard
> implying what some faggots 300 years after it supposedly happened say happened should have any bearing on anything
> implying so hard
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #54,188
I prefer the one where Jesus murders a boy for accidentally bumping into his shoulder.
The Owl !yshAAUvyds (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #54,195
@previous (F)
What about the one where he strikes a crowd blind after they ask him to stop killing people?
What about the one where he strikes a crowd blind after they ask him to stop killing people?
Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #54,198
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #54,199
well what did that little bitch expect? you dont fuck with the Jesus
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 46 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #54,201
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 15 years ago, 17 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #54,213
@54,184 (The Owl !yshAAUvyds)
> implying the Pauline epistles weren't written within a few decades of Jesus' death
> implying the gospel of Mark wasn't written around 70 AD
I'm an atheist, but for fucks sake, get your facts about the Bible straight.
> implying the Pauline epistles weren't written within a few decades of Jesus' death
> implying the gospel of Mark wasn't written around 70 AD
I'm an atheist, but for fucks sake, get your facts about the Bible straight.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 15 years ago, 12 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #54,217
@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
> Mark
Huh. That doesn't sound like a very biblical name. Is there a gospel of Tyrone too?
> Mark
Huh. That doesn't sound like a very biblical name. Is there a gospel of Tyrone too?
Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #54,220
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #54,222
The Owl !yshAAUvyds (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #54,224
@54,213 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
> implying I was talking about when anything written
> implying I wasn't talking about The Council of Carthage
I'm an atheist, but for fucks sake, get your Biblical history straight.
> implying I was talking about when anything written
> implying I wasn't talking about The Council of Carthage
I'm an atheist, but for fucks sake, get your Biblical history straight.
nimanj replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #54,226
@previous (The Owl !yshAAUvyds)
> >implying I was talking about when anything written
> >implying I wasn't talking about The Council of Carthage
>
> I'm an atheist, but for fucks sake, get your Biblical history straight.
> implying he didn't say CANONICAL GOSPELS gay queer fag bird you're no owl you are just a turkey
> >implying I was talking about when anything written
> >implying I wasn't talking about The Council of Carthage
>
> I'm an atheist, but for fucks sake, get your Biblical history straight.
> implying he didn't say CANONICAL GOSPELS gay queer fag bird you're no owl you are just a turkey
The Owl !yshAAUvyds (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #54,228
@previous (nimanj)
> > >implying I was talking about when anything written
> > >implying I wasn't talking about The Council of Carthage
> >
> > I'm an atheist, but for fucks sake, get your Biblical history straight.
>
> >implying he didn't say CANONICAL GOSPELS gay queer fag bird you're no owl you are just a turkey
> implying he did say 'canonical gospels'
> implying I'm Anonymous C
> implying you wouldn't be Anonymous C if you posted without a name
> implying you're not a turkey
> > >implying I was talking about when anything written
> > >implying I wasn't talking about The Council of Carthage
> >
> > I'm an atheist, but for fucks sake, get your Biblical history straight.
>
> >implying he didn't say CANONICAL GOSPELS gay queer fag bird you're no owl you are just a turkey
> implying he did say 'canonical gospels'
> implying I'm Anonymous C
> implying you wouldn't be Anonymous C if you posted without a name
> implying you're not a turkey
Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #54,233
nimanj replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #54,238
@54,228 (The Owl !yshAAUvyds)
> > > >implying I was talking about when anything written
> > > >implying I wasn't talking about The Council of Carthage
> > >
> > > I'm an atheist, but for fucks sake, get your Biblical history straight.
> >
> > >implying he didn't say CANONICAL GOSPELS gay queer fag bird you're no owl you are just a turkey
>
> >implying he did say 'canonical gospels'
> >implying I'm Anonymous C
> >implying you wouldn't be Anonymous C if you posted without a name
> >implying you're not a turkey
> implying he didn't say 'canonical gospels'
> impl-OH GOD I WAS TURKEY ALL ALONG
> > > >implying I was talking about when anything written
> > > >implying I wasn't talking about The Council of Carthage
> > >
> > > I'm an atheist, but for fucks sake, get your Biblical history straight.
> >
> > >implying he didn't say CANONICAL GOSPELS gay queer fag bird you're no owl you are just a turkey
>
> >implying he did say 'canonical gospels'
> >implying I'm Anonymous C
> >implying you wouldn't be Anonymous C if you posted without a name
> >implying you're not a turkey
> implying he didn't say 'canonical gospels'
> impl-OH GOD I WAS TURKEY ALL ALONG
TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 11 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #54,248
My fav. Jesus story is the one about him being a nigger. He greeted everyone with "bro"
The Editor !FuckWtfW8M joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 hours later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #54,341
I liked the one where Jesus had to sell his sofa to pay his rent, and he brought that bench inside to take its place, but a schizophrenic homeless man lived on it so he moved in with Jesus. I think his name was Lewis or something. Oh, the wacky adventures they got into. Haha, Lewis. That blender isn't going to implant mind-control chips into your brain, it can't even move.