Topic: Man in coma after eating 413 Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits™
Anonymous A started this discussion 13 years ago #28,755
http://www.rockcitytimes.com/local-man-coma-eating-413-red-lobster-biscuits/A local food writer was rushed to UAMS hospital last night after consuming 413 Cheddar Bay Biscuits from Red Lobster. Doctors confirm that he slipped into a coma shortly after being admitted into the emergency room.
Kevin Shalin, better known as The Mighty Rib, joined a number of fellow food writers and critics to try the highest grossing restaurants in the metro area. The group chose Red Lobster of North Little Rock to start the journey because of the restaurant’s long standing place atop the highest grossing in the area, despite being unseated in the last few years by Golden Corral.
According to witnesses Shalin spoke about not eating at a Red Lobster since he was 5 years old. “He had no clue what to expect,” local food writer Daniel Walker tells us. “He sat down at the bar while we were waiting on a table and he decided to try one of the biscuits. He thought they were the most wonderful things he ever placed in his mouth.”
Red Lobster’s signature Cheddar Bay Biscuits are given out free to guests with each meal. The restaurant lists the biscuits as 150 calories each and a chef for the restaurant tells us they have approximately 1/8th of a stick of butter in each. UAMS doctors are speculating that it is the equivalent of 51.5 sticks of butter that Shalin ate that is causing the coma.
Kevin Shalin, better known as The Mighty Rib, joined a number of fellow food writers and critics to try the highest grossing restaurants in the metro area. The group chose Red Lobster of North Little Rock to start the journey because of the restaurant’s long standing place atop the highest grossing in the area, despite being unseated in the last few years by Golden Corral.
According to witnesses Shalin spoke about not eating at a Red Lobster since he was 5 years old. “He had no clue what to expect,” local food writer Daniel Walker tells us. “He sat down at the bar while we were waiting on a table and he decided to try one of the biscuits. He thought they were the most wonderful things he ever placed in his mouth.”
Red Lobster’s signature Cheddar Bay Biscuits are given out free to guests with each meal. The restaurant lists the biscuits as 150 calories each and a chef for the restaurant tells us they have approximately 1/8th of a stick of butter in each. UAMS doctors are speculating that it is the equivalent of 51.5 sticks of butter that Shalin ate that is causing the coma.
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 2 hours later[^] [v] #423,704
A true American hero :')
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 30 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #423,705
That's 61950 calories. That's about 6-8 weeks worth of food.
Syntax joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 8 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #423,707
Read that all the wayyyyyyy to bottom where I said Wot? Wot? Wot?
hospital officials state that they have drained approximately 2 gallons of butter already and expect him to make a full recovery once the rest is clear.
Shalin is expected to be released in time for his visit to Golden Corral’s chocolate wonderfall later next week.
I No Fake MD like dw butttttt clearly the story is BOGUS
hospital officials state that they have drained approximately 2 gallons of butter already and expect him to make a full recovery once the rest is clear.
Shalin is expected to be released in time for his visit to Golden Corral’s chocolate wonderfall later next week.
I No Fake MD like dw butttttt clearly the story is BOGUS
(Edited 28 seconds later.)
Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 2 hours later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #423,754
Serves him right. Ahah.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 38 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #423,755
Syntax replied with this 13 years ago, 8 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #423,758
@previous (A)In another thread I made a Mistrake on just one photo out of several.
You need to see this
http://snopes.com/politics/satire/buttercoma.asp
And YOU Yes U should have said to self - Drained 2 Gallons of butter....I mean like did you think the human body has a oil plug that you open with wrench to drain the excess oil?
And from Comma to drinking all the Chocolate from waterfall.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #423,759
Syntax replied with this 13 years ago, 6 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #423,760
@previous (A)
'The story is completely satirical, published by a news satire website in Little Rock called Rock City Times, dubbed as
“Arkansas’ 2most unreliable news source.” People do love our complimentary Cheddar Bay Biscuits
… they even have their own Facebook page … which, no doubt, is why they lent themselves to this parody.”
So if this Makes me a Mora I B so happy to B a member of such Membership
'The story is completely satirical, published by a news satire website in Little Rock called Rock City Times, dubbed as
“Arkansas’ 2most unreliable news source.” People do love our complimentary Cheddar Bay Biscuits
… they even have their own Facebook page … which, no doubt, is why they lent themselves to this parody.”
So if this Makes me a Mora I B so happy to B a member of such Membership
nametripcode !MeBMmYUE8Y joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #423,807
o man my™ stummick™ hurts™™
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #423,808
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 1 day later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #424,176
lolamerica
Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 4 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #424,229
Syntax replied with this 13 years ago, 27 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #424,230
@previous (H)
Except I only once ate at one of those Red Lobsters and I said never again - Years ago. All the seafood tasted as if freezer burn and it was chewy and mostly tasteless.
That must have been b4 the Biscuits unless they also were being served n were unmemorable? Over a decade ago.
Except I only once ate at one of those Red Lobsters and I said never again - Years ago. All the seafood tasted as if freezer burn and it was chewy and mostly tasteless.
That must have been b4 the Biscuits unless they also were being served n were unmemorable? Over a decade ago.
Anonymous I joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 3 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #424,269
> Shalin is expected to be released in time for his visit to Golden Corral’s chocolate wonderfall later next week.
Round 2?
Round 2?
Sen !q/sOExraek joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 37 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #424,285
I wish this were real. I want to live in a world where this happens. Fuck food writers.