Topic: writing a memoire about Cupcake
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk started this discussion 13 years ago #28,442
Our relationship that is, I actually think it makes for a pretty good story. Lots of quirky, and humorous romance stuff, conflict, complex characters, twists and turns, drama, lots drama, and sex, lots of sex. I figure if I write like 10-15 pages on each major event in our relationship, the book should come out to be about 300 pages long. It will be part confession, part love letter, and all terrific.
I'll get it published, and hopefully get what I truly want, which will be revealed at the end of the book. At the very least I'll probably make a little bit of money, and get to say I wrote a book. This is truly a win-win situation.
*Bonus: Minichan will be featured in the book, users such as Harley, Beckyderp, Henn, and Green will be specifically mentioned. So, that may be fun or horrible depending on your perspective.
Am I crazy? Is this taking a break-up to an absurd extreme? Will people not be able to decide if I'm a weird guy with an obsession with his ex, or an extremely romantic guy who is still hopelessly in love with his ex? Yes, all of those.
I'll get it published, and hopefully get what I truly want, which will be revealed at the end of the book. At the very least I'll probably make a little bit of money, and get to say I wrote a book. This is truly a win-win situation.
*Bonus: Minichan will be featured in the book, users such as Harley, Beckyderp, Henn, and Green will be specifically mentioned. So, that may be fun or horrible depending on your perspective.
Am I crazy? Is this taking a break-up to an absurd extreme? Will people not be able to decide if I'm a weird guy with an obsession with his ex, or an extremely romantic guy who is still hopelessly in love with his ex? Yes, all of those.
Meta !PARAdoxiHw joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later[^] [v] #420,586
Are you going to gloss over the Cheesecake Factory incident, or will it get the full 15 page treatment?
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 3 minutes later, 4 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #420,587
@previous (Meta !PARAdoxiHw)
Are you kidding me? That's actually a good 20 pages probably. I'm looking to make a book with real conflict, and real drama not just write a super long love letter.
Are you kidding me? That's actually a good 20 pages probably. I'm looking to make a book with real conflict, and real drama not just write a super long love letter.
Triptych !IupsXZPnnU joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 7 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #420,588
noooooooooo
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 4 minutes later, 11 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #420,589
@previous (Triptych !IupsXZPnnU)
A story filled with sex, teen drama, conflict, mystery, multiple twists and turns, all as one big romantic gesture?Little girls will eat this shit up, adult girls will eat this shit up, dudes who want to show their feminine side will eat this shit up. Face it, this is great material for a book. I don't even have to be creative really, I just have to recall events.
Or are you worried about not being included in the book? Sorry, you should have contributed during the conflicts.
A story filled with sex, teen drama, conflict, mystery, multiple twists and turns, all as one big romantic gesture?Little girls will eat this shit up, adult girls will eat this shit up, dudes who want to show their feminine side will eat this shit up. Face it, this is great material for a book. I don't even have to be creative really, I just have to recall events.
Or are you worried about not being included in the book? Sorry, you should have contributed during the conflicts.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Triptych !IupsXZPnnU replied with this 13 years ago, 9 minutes later, 21 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #420,590
@previous (Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk)
I don't want to be in your book. But seriously, cupcake'll probably feel weirded out as fuck and pretty uncomfortable. Just leave it.
I don't want to be in your book. But seriously, cupcake'll probably feel weirded out as fuck and pretty uncomfortable. Just leave it.
Meta !PARAdoxiHw replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 23 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #420,591
@420,589 (Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk)
I don't like reading long books on the computer, so will it be available in a .mobi file so I can read it on my Kindle™? Also, since you describe yourself as "fucking perfect", will you learn several instruments, and put together a concept album which complements the book by exploring, through song, the themes of love and loss intertwined in the narrative of the book?
I don't like reading long books on the computer, so will it be available in a .mobi file so I can read it on my Kindle™? Also, since you describe yourself as "fucking perfect", will you learn several instruments, and put together a concept album which complements the book by exploring, through song, the themes of love and loss intertwined in the narrative of the book?
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 10 seconds later, 23 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #420,592
Can you sue somebody for writing a creepy book about you?
Meta !PARAdoxiHw replied with this 13 years ago, 12 minutes later, 35 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #420,593
@OPI did a cover design for you (click to enlarge for full detail).
No royalties necessary, you can use it for free in both the print and digital editions.
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 7 minutes later, 43 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #420,596
@420,590 (Triptych !IupsXZPnnU)
Nope, doubt it. I'm just writing about my life. What's weird about that? And if she is creeped out, then oh well. Remember even if she is displeased, I will still have a published book. That's awesome no matter which way you slice it.
@420,591 (Meta !PARAdoxiHw)
I'm not actually perfect, that will be a good sold separately addition though.Believe me, I'm here to be romantic, but I'm also here to make money.
@420,592 (D)
No, because it isn't malevolent, and I will be changing the names of everyone in the book to avoid being sued. I will be alienating, and ridiculing the fuck out of a lot of those close to me. They'll know, and they'll be pissed. But they won't be able to sue because it technically isn't them, and I won't care because I'll be a published fucking author.
@previous (Meta !PARAdoxiHw)
That's actually great. I'll probably just title it "The Adventures of Cupcake and Cutie Pie", but I will definitely include that somewhere in the book.
Nope, doubt it. I'm just writing about my life. What's weird about that? And if she is creeped out, then oh well. Remember even if she is displeased, I will still have a published book. That's awesome no matter which way you slice it.
@420,591 (Meta !PARAdoxiHw)
I'm not actually perfect, that will be a good sold separately addition though.Believe me, I'm here to be romantic, but I'm also here to make money.
@420,592 (D)
No, because it isn't malevolent, and I will be changing the names of everyone in the book to avoid being sued. I will be alienating, and ridiculing the fuck out of a lot of those close to me. They'll know, and they'll be pissed. But they won't be able to sue because it technically isn't them, and I won't care because I'll be a published fucking author.
@previous (Meta !PARAdoxiHw)
That's actually great. I'll probably just title it "The Adventures of Cupcake and Cutie Pie", but I will definitely include that somewhere in the book.
Triptych !IupsXZPnnU replied with this 13 years ago, 4 minutes later, 48 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #420,597
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 9 minutes later, 57 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #420,598
@previous (Triptych !IupsXZPnnU)
Okay, seriously, this is great. It's really great. A book? Do you think any new relationship she develops will everbe able to compete with a book? At the very least if some new weirdo guy dates her, and he writes her a love letter she can say "Oh that's real special, you know my ex wrote me a bookright? He had it published, you cango read it."
Okay, seriously, this is great. It's really great. A book? Do you think any new relationship she develops will everbe able to compete with a book? At the very least if some new weirdo guy dates her, and he writes her a love letter she can say "Oh that's real special, you know my ex wrote me a bookright? He had it published, you cango read it."
Meta !PARAdoxiHw replied with this 13 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #420,599
@420,597 (Triptych !IupsXZPnnU)
Cupcakes future relationships: $0 value
Postmortem's first year book royalties+advance from Random House: $3,500,000
Cupcake=pwnt
Cupcakes future relationships: $0 value
Postmortem's first year book royalties+advance from Random House: $3,500,000
Cupcake=pwnt
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 12 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #420,601
@previous (Meta !PARAdoxiHw)
I laughed for a good 30 seconds. But yeah, even if she totally hates this, and she won't, I'll still have a published book.
I laughed for a good 30 seconds. But yeah, even if she totally hates this, and she won't, I'll still have a published book.
squeegee joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 38 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #420,603
You will not have a book published. Just becuase you can write one (assuming you could crank out 150,000 words) doesn't mean a publisher will publish it. In fact, unless it is grammatically perfect, it won't last a whole proof read.
In fact, chances are it'll be read by a gradstudent who would like nothing more than trash any manuscript not obviously written by an already published author.
Your memoir would be competing with tens of thousands of submissions for a very limited number of slots.
I'll put it like this, there is a cover sheet standard, and also submission standards that, if not followed exactly, will lead to your book being trashed, unread, by a surly grad student.
Do you have any idea even what the cover sheet should even look like, or what guidlines you should follow for submission? Get your head out of your ass, you think that just writing it would make you a publishable author? Get a fucking clue.
You might as well be saying your going to write a famous love song, sign a record deal, and produce an album.
In fact, chances are it'll be read by a gradstudent who would like nothing more than trash any manuscript not obviously written by an already published author.
Your memoir would be competing with tens of thousands of submissions for a very limited number of slots.
I'll put it like this, there is a cover sheet standard, and also submission standards that, if not followed exactly, will lead to your book being trashed, unread, by a surly grad student.
Do you have any idea even what the cover sheet should even look like, or what guidlines you should follow for submission? Get your head out of your ass, you think that just writing it would make you a publishable author? Get a fucking clue.
You might as well be saying your going to write a famous love song, sign a record deal, and produce an album.
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #420,604
So are you thinking Random House or Harper Collins?
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 22 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,605
@420,603 (squeegee)
No, I'll get it published. Literally thousands of books get published every year, I'm not looking to make a bestseller, just get it published. The story is great, and I can handle guidelines, thanks.
And even if you're right, and you aren't you cynical piece of shit then at least I tried. Do you know why your life is so average, and basically sucks? Because you think about odds, and likelyhood before you do things. Both of those are for losers.
No, I'll get it published. Literally thousands of books get published every year, I'm not looking to make a bestseller, just get it published. The story is great, and I can handle guidelines, thanks.
And even if you're right, and you aren't you cynical piece of shit then at least I tried. Do you know why your life is so average, and basically sucks? Because you think about odds, and likelyhood before you do things. Both of those are for losers.
squeegee !first/o5zA joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,606
i think you should stick with your strengths and submit your comedy routine to HBO and get yourself a one hour TV special. That'd be nice to lord over her, right? I mean all you gotta do is get on stage and tell jokes, what's not to love about that? men women and children love jokes, they'll eat it up.
you can even have HBO put "dedicated to my friendship with cupcake" at the end to really piss of all her exes forever.
you can even have HBO put "dedicated to my friendship with cupcake" at the end to really piss of all her exes forever.
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 49 seconds later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,607
@420,604 (F)
I'm not sure, I'll have to see which publisher is more likely to publish this kind of material. If all goes sour, I will self publish and sell online.
I'm not sure, I'll have to see which publisher is more likely to publish this kind of material. If all goes sour, I will self publish and sell online.
Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,608
@420,596 (Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk)
> I'll probably just title it "The Adventures of Cupcake and Cutie Pie"
Try "The Trials and Tribulations of Cupcake and Postmortem".
> I'll probably just title it "The Adventures of Cupcake and Cutie Pie"
Try "The Trials and Tribulations of Cupcake and Postmortem".
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,609
@420,606 (squeegee !first/o5zA)
Oh, I still want to pursue comedy, and while I am nowhere near getting an HBO special that would be a dream come true. If I ever do get one, I can assure you that I will open it with a little speech about how much I love Cupcake. I considered just getting famous, and professing love on television, but I run the risk of making it look like I got famous for myself, and decided to use that fame torekindle a long lost love as an afterthought. Not a risk I'm willing totake.
Oh, I still want to pursue comedy, and while I am nowhere near getting an HBO special that would be a dream come true. If I ever do get one, I can assure you that I will open it with a little speech about how much I love Cupcake. I considered just getting famous, and professing love on television, but I run the risk of making it look like I got famous for myself, and decided to use that fame torekindle a long lost love as an afterthought. Not a risk I'm willing totake.
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,610
@420,608 (H)
See Postmortem is an internet name I have been using since I was 12, and is unrelated to Cupcake. Cupcake and CutiePie were the pet names Lexi, and Igave each other, amongst others, but those were the big ones.
See Postmortem is an internet name I have been using since I was 12, and is unrelated to Cupcake. Cupcake and CutiePie were the pet names Lexi, and Igave each other, amongst others, but those were the big ones.
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) triple-posted this 13 years ago, 32 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,613
I do have 2 things I am unsure of.
1. Do I include negative things Cupcakedid? It would make for a better story, and be more honest, but it wouldalso have a negative effect on theultimate goal of the book which is to be an absurd romantic gesture only an obsessed lunatic would commit. I think I will include them, but have them be more about my reactions, and emphasize that I am melodramatic, and overreact to everything.
2. Do I include sexual stuff? On one hand, yeah sex sells, and it is all part of an honest story, but on the other hand it limits the amount of publishers that will publish the book, and do I really want my parents or her parents reading in explicit detail all the stuff I did with her? Perhaps I will simply imply sexual things happened, but not go into detail. Like kissing, and such then skip straight tomessed up hair and make up.
1. Do I include negative things Cupcakedid? It would make for a better story, and be more honest, but it wouldalso have a negative effect on theultimate goal of the book which is to be an absurd romantic gesture only an obsessed lunatic would commit. I think I will include them, but have them be more about my reactions, and emphasize that I am melodramatic, and overreact to everything.
2. Do I include sexual stuff? On one hand, yeah sex sells, and it is all part of an honest story, but on the other hand it limits the amount of publishers that will publish the book, and do I really want my parents or her parents reading in explicit detail all the stuff I did with her? Perhaps I will simply imply sexual things happened, but not go into detail. Like kissing, and such then skip straight tomessed up hair and make up.
squeegee !first/o5zA replied with this 13 years ago, 20 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,618
@420,605 (Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk)
> No, I'll get it published. Literally thousands of books get published every year, I'm not looking to make a bestseller, just get it published. The story is great, and I can handle guidelines, thanks.
you have unrealistic expectations. a publisher isn't going to sink half a million bucks on an unknown author in salary, promotion, printing costs, and everything else. people who do get published are people who write many books and stories and have them rejected over and over before finally having something published. Once you are published, then it is easier to be published again.
but having a novel published in today's market is extremely hard to break into, rejection rates are very, very high, and publishers have extremely high standards. They can publish Steven King or Dean Koonz and guarantee 20 million bucks and maybe a movie deal. what do they know about postmortem who writes obsessive love novels about his ex girlfriend?
I have a professor friend who teaches out at SMU in their MFA program for creative writing, and he kind did what you're talking about doing. He thought he had this great, wonderful, romantic and gut wrenching love story about him and his ex girlfriend, and he wrote up 600 pages worth and set it off, and 6 months later he got back a single slip of paper with the words, "get over it" scrawled across the front. except for the fact it was on the publishers letterhead, he wouldn't have known it was about his ridiculous love missive.
> And even if you're right, and you aren't you cynical piece of shit then at least I tried. Do you know why your life is so average, and basically sucks? Because you think about odds, and likelyhood before you do things. Both of those are for losers.
try learning how to do these professions you like to think you already excel at. Also your story sounds cliche and boring, and unless you overhaul major elements of the story, develop a theme, and work out an original story arc (please don't tell me you plan for all the conflict to be nothing but tension between your lead characters) then you'll be writing a glorified journal and will be trashed by a surly unpublished grad student who has spent 10 years rejecting stories just like it submitted by other obsessive boyfriends.
I'll be happy to workshop it for you (if you actually write anything and know what it is to workshop a story) but you can expect me to be brutal in my assessment of the quality of your work. i've been involved in various writer's workshops on and off since college and am familiar with the process.
if i can find a grammar mistake, or a spelling error, or think it's nothing but exposition and conversation interspersed with internal monologs about love and meaning, then a publisher will find it cliche, unreadable, unpublishable, and will send you your first of hundreds of rejection letters.
before steven king became steven king, he received hundreds and hundreds of rejection letters. in fact, most aspiring authors find a rejection notice (which is always a simple slip of paper with "thank you for your submission, we will not be using it at this time") to be quite the encouragement. if they are taking the time to respond back, rather than throw it away and not mess with it, is a sign that they took the time to actually read portions of it. but really only if it's hand signed, if it's a computer printed thing with a printed signature then they threw it away before finishing the first page.
if you never hear back, it's because they didn't even read past the cover sheet.
> No, I'll get it published. Literally thousands of books get published every year, I'm not looking to make a bestseller, just get it published. The story is great, and I can handle guidelines, thanks.
you have unrealistic expectations. a publisher isn't going to sink half a million bucks on an unknown author in salary, promotion, printing costs, and everything else. people who do get published are people who write many books and stories and have them rejected over and over before finally having something published. Once you are published, then it is easier to be published again.
but having a novel published in today's market is extremely hard to break into, rejection rates are very, very high, and publishers have extremely high standards. They can publish Steven King or Dean Koonz and guarantee 20 million bucks and maybe a movie deal. what do they know about postmortem who writes obsessive love novels about his ex girlfriend?
I have a professor friend who teaches out at SMU in their MFA program for creative writing, and he kind did what you're talking about doing. He thought he had this great, wonderful, romantic and gut wrenching love story about him and his ex girlfriend, and he wrote up 600 pages worth and set it off, and 6 months later he got back a single slip of paper with the words, "get over it" scrawled across the front. except for the fact it was on the publishers letterhead, he wouldn't have known it was about his ridiculous love missive.
> And even if you're right, and you aren't you cynical piece of shit then at least I tried. Do you know why your life is so average, and basically sucks? Because you think about odds, and likelyhood before you do things. Both of those are for losers.
try learning how to do these professions you like to think you already excel at. Also your story sounds cliche and boring, and unless you overhaul major elements of the story, develop a theme, and work out an original story arc (please don't tell me you plan for all the conflict to be nothing but tension between your lead characters) then you'll be writing a glorified journal and will be trashed by a surly unpublished grad student who has spent 10 years rejecting stories just like it submitted by other obsessive boyfriends.
I'll be happy to workshop it for you (if you actually write anything and know what it is to workshop a story) but you can expect me to be brutal in my assessment of the quality of your work. i've been involved in various writer's workshops on and off since college and am familiar with the process.
if i can find a grammar mistake, or a spelling error, or think it's nothing but exposition and conversation interspersed with internal monologs about love and meaning, then a publisher will find it cliche, unreadable, unpublishable, and will send you your first of hundreds of rejection letters.
before steven king became steven king, he received hundreds and hundreds of rejection letters. in fact, most aspiring authors find a rejection notice (which is always a simple slip of paper with "thank you for your submission, we will not be using it at this time") to be quite the encouragement. if they are taking the time to respond back, rather than throw it away and not mess with it, is a sign that they took the time to actually read portions of it. but really only if it's hand signed, if it's a computer printed thing with a printed signature then they threw it away before finishing the first page.
if you never hear back, it's because they didn't even read past the cover sheet.
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 10 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,622
Okay, no it is not just conversation, and monologue, it will in fact be an interesting story, with actual conflictbeyond just the characters. If you are actually willing to help me, that would be great. And okay, so I'll probably get rejected a bunch. Stephen King got published because he kept trying, so if I want to get a book out then clearly I need to try. And again, if all else fails I will self publish.
(Edited 2 minutes later.)
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 30 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,627
@previous (Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk)
Okay, seriously, self-publishing seems like the best option available to me. I'm not really writing this book for money, anyway. I will put my best foot forward, have a manuscript, and a gramatically flawless memoir, and meet all the requirements, but ultimately I will probably end up just self publishing. Which is fine, I'll make a little website, get it promoted, pay to get it on Kindle. It's more about me just being able to say I wrote a book than it's about getting some fancy book deal. The latter would be a plus though.
Okay, seriously, self-publishing seems like the best option available to me. I'm not really writing this book for money, anyway. I will put my best foot forward, have a manuscript, and a gramatically flawless memoir, and meet all the requirements, but ultimately I will probably end up just self publishing. Which is fine, I'll make a little website, get it promoted, pay to get it on Kindle. It's more about me just being able to say I wrote a book than it's about getting some fancy book deal. The latter would be a plus though.
Anonymous H replied with this 13 years ago, 5 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,628
Anonymous I joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,629
@420,627 (Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk)
One day Kimmo will write the true story of AnonTalk, and he can only hope to fail as miserably as you will.
Please go back to scribbling your teen angst on the back of your unfinished math homeowork.
One day Kimmo will write the true story of AnonTalk, and he can only hope to fail as miserably as you will.
Please go back to scribbling your teen angst on the back of your unfinished math homeowork.
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 30 seconds later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,630
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,631
@420,629 (I)
Fail? If I even complete it I succeededto some degree. I will be proud of myself for just writing a story. I'm sorry that you're envious ofme because I follow my dreams, and your's are all dead. But no matter whathappens, I can be satisfied with myself that I tried, and that's more than most people can say.
Fail? If I even complete it I succeededto some degree. I will be proud of myself for just writing a story. I'm sorry that you're envious ofme because I follow my dreams, and your's are all dead. But no matter whathappens, I can be satisfied with myself that I tried, and that's more than most people can say.
Anonymous I replied with this 13 years ago, 14 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,632
@previous (Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk)
No, really...
What you are going through... Everyone has done that. Probably almost everyone who has ever lived. It seems important to you now, but we've all been there. People laugh at you for being obsessed with romantic love because we've all done it. Have fun with that feeling. You will never get it back. You will grow cynical. You will become more realistic about life. You can never feel this way again. You can feel the same obsession of love, but it will never be the same as it is now. Move. the. fuck. on.
That being said... Don't be the fucking creep who can't let go. Just move on. Stop being a complete sociopath who can't let go of what he wants just because he wants it. Just live.
No, really...
What you are going through... Everyone has done that. Probably almost everyone who has ever lived. It seems important to you now, but we've all been there. People laugh at you for being obsessed with romantic love because we've all done it. Have fun with that feeling. You will never get it back. You will grow cynical. You will become more realistic about life. You can never feel this way again. You can feel the same obsession of love, but it will never be the same as it is now. Move. the. fuck. on.
That being said... Don't be the fucking creep who can't let go. Just move on. Stop being a complete sociopath who can't let go of what he wants just because he wants it. Just live.
Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 14 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,633
Dont even have to read the thread to tell that it sucksAnonymous K joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 3 hours later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,641
I wonder when @OP will be tired of being full of himself.
Anonymous L joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 46 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,642
@OP
Kill yourself
Kill yourself
Anonymous L double-posted this 13 years ago, 59 seconds later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,643
OP is an angry virgin
Meta !PARAdoxiHw replied with this 13 years ago, 3 hours later, 11 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,649
@420,613 (Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk)
> I do have 2 things I am unsure of.
>
> 1. Do I include negative things Cupcakedid? It would make for a better story, and be more honest, but it wouldalso have a negative effect on theultimate goal of the book which is to be an absurd romantic gesture only an obsessed lunatic would commit. I think I will include them, but have them be more about my reactions, and emphasize that I am melodramatic, and overreact to everything.
Yes, otherwise people will read the novel and it will make you look like a jackass if she only does good things and you do all this bad shit.
> 2. Do I include sexual stuff? On one hand, yeah sex sells, and it is all part of an honest story, but on the other hand it limits the amount of publishers that will publish the book, and do I really want my parents or her parents reading in explicit detail all the stuff I did with her? Perhaps I will simply imply sexual things happened, but not go into detail. Like kissing, and such then skip straight tomessed up hair and make up.
Implying is best, unless you want it to be the next Fifty Shades of Grey.
> I do have 2 things I am unsure of.
>
> 1. Do I include negative things Cupcakedid? It would make for a better story, and be more honest, but it wouldalso have a negative effect on theultimate goal of the book which is to be an absurd romantic gesture only an obsessed lunatic would commit. I think I will include them, but have them be more about my reactions, and emphasize that I am melodramatic, and overreact to everything.
Yes, otherwise people will read the novel and it will make you look like a jackass if she only does good things and you do all this bad shit.
> 2. Do I include sexual stuff? On one hand, yeah sex sells, and it is all part of an honest story, but on the other hand it limits the amount of publishers that will publish the book, and do I really want my parents or her parents reading in explicit detail all the stuff I did with her? Perhaps I will simply imply sexual things happened, but not go into detail. Like kissing, and such then skip straight tomessed up hair and make up.
Implying is best, unless you want it to be the next Fifty Shades of Grey.
HaikerensGuide !dBGi/iH4eY joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 20 minutes later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,651
Leomortem, stop it.
Anonymous N joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 8 minutes later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,653
@420,592 (D)
Yes. I look forward to the drama. Provided pm is even remotely successful. A stretch, I know.
Yes. I look forward to the drama. Provided pm is even remotely successful. A stretch, I know.
beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 28 minutes later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,655
Syntax joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 16 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,658
> In fact, unless it is grammatically perfect, it won't last a whole proof read.
Modern books such as The Hunger Games and Fifty shades of Grey (self published) were strongly criticized for bad grammar and
The Rules of Grammar
"I am almost sure by witness of my ear, but cannot be positive, for I know grammar by ear only, not by note, not by the rules. A generation ago I knew the rules—knew them by heart, word for word, though not their meanings—and I still know one of them: the one which says—but never mind, it will come back to me presently."
"Great books are weighed and measured by their style and matter, and not the trimmings and shadings of their grammar."
"The Queen's English"
"There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares."
"SPELLING"
"I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing. I have a correspondent whose letters are always a refreshment to me, there is such a breezy unfettered originality about his orthography. He always spells Kow with a large K. Now that is just as good as to spell it with a small one. It is better. It gives the imagination a broader field, a wider scope. It suggests to the mind a grand, vague, impressive new kind of a cow."
"I have had an aversion to good spelling for sixty years and more, merely for the reason that when I was a boy there was not a thing I could do creditably except spell according to the book. It was a poor and mean distinction and I early learned to disenjoy it. I suppose that this is because the ability to spell correctly is a talent, not an acquirement. There is some dignity about an acquirement, because it is a product of your own labor. It is wages earned, whereas to be able to do a thing merely by the grace of God and not by your own effort transfers the distinction to our heavenly home—where possibly it is a matter of pride and satisfaction but it leaves you naked and bankrupt."
"I never had any large respect for good spelling. That is my feeling yet. Before the spelling-book came with its arbitrary forms, men unconsciously revealed shades of their characters and also added enlightening shades of expression to what they wrote by their spelling, and so it is possible that the spelling-book has been a doubtful benevolence to us."
"...ours is a mongrel language which started with a child's vocabulary of three hundred words, and now consists of two hundred and twenty-five thousand; the whole lot, with the exception of the original and legitimate three hundred, borrowed, stolen, smouched from every unwatched language under the sun, the spelling of each individual word of the lot locating the source of the theft and preserving the memory of the revered crime."
Modern books such as The Hunger Games and Fifty shades of Grey (self published) were strongly criticized for bad grammar and
The Rules of Grammar
"I am almost sure by witness of my ear, but cannot be positive, for I know grammar by ear only, not by note, not by the rules. A generation ago I knew the rules—knew them by heart, word for word, though not their meanings—and I still know one of them: the one which says—but never mind, it will come back to me presently."
"Great books are weighed and measured by their style and matter, and not the trimmings and shadings of their grammar."
"The Queen's English"
"There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares."
"SPELLING"
"I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing. I have a correspondent whose letters are always a refreshment to me, there is such a breezy unfettered originality about his orthography. He always spells Kow with a large K. Now that is just as good as to spell it with a small one. It is better. It gives the imagination a broader field, a wider scope. It suggests to the mind a grand, vague, impressive new kind of a cow."
"I have had an aversion to good spelling for sixty years and more, merely for the reason that when I was a boy there was not a thing I could do creditably except spell according to the book. It was a poor and mean distinction and I early learned to disenjoy it. I suppose that this is because the ability to spell correctly is a talent, not an acquirement. There is some dignity about an acquirement, because it is a product of your own labor. It is wages earned, whereas to be able to do a thing merely by the grace of God and not by your own effort transfers the distinction to our heavenly home—where possibly it is a matter of pride and satisfaction but it leaves you naked and bankrupt."
"I never had any large respect for good spelling. That is my feeling yet. Before the spelling-book came with its arbitrary forms, men unconsciously revealed shades of their characters and also added enlightening shades of expression to what they wrote by their spelling, and so it is possible that the spelling-book has been a doubtful benevolence to us."
"...ours is a mongrel language which started with a child's vocabulary of three hundred words, and now consists of two hundred and twenty-five thousand; the whole lot, with the exception of the original and legitimate three hundred, borrowed, stolen, smouched from every unwatched language under the sun, the spelling of each individual word of the lot locating the source of the theft and preserving the memory of the revered crime."
squeegee !first/o5zA replied with this 13 years ago, 35 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,661
@previous (Syntax)
that's all fine and dandy if you're shakespeare, or steven king, but when a publisher received 10 thousand manuscripts a year, or more, they have to have a simple criteria for weeding out weak candidates. That often times comes in the form of rejecting submissions based on things like comma splices on the first page, uninteresting opening paragraphs, and even improper formatting of the coversheet. If you are actually writing for publication, then there is a minimum set of "unspoken" requirements, the least of which is having a compelling story, to even have a chance at real publication.
the exceptions to this are: famous people, and genius authors. i might add that in the world of publication that is who you are competing against.
and unknown, unpublished people are not who publishers are looking for. They are looking for the guaranteed dollar.
there are some small publishers who specialize in unknown writers, but they have pretty god damned high standards, and if you didn't go to Yale and get an MFA in creative writing, well, that's who you're competing against there.
so, it's highly competitive. anyone can write a story, but not everyone can be published.
think of it like a job interview. when you show up you bring your resume and you wear a suit (or proper attire). you don't show up empty-handed wearing shorts and a yellowed Hanes v-neck.
that's all fine and dandy if you're shakespeare, or steven king, but when a publisher received 10 thousand manuscripts a year, or more, they have to have a simple criteria for weeding out weak candidates. That often times comes in the form of rejecting submissions based on things like comma splices on the first page, uninteresting opening paragraphs, and even improper formatting of the coversheet. If you are actually writing for publication, then there is a minimum set of "unspoken" requirements, the least of which is having a compelling story, to even have a chance at real publication.
the exceptions to this are: famous people, and genius authors. i might add that in the world of publication that is who you are competing against.
and unknown, unpublished people are not who publishers are looking for. They are looking for the guaranteed dollar.
there are some small publishers who specialize in unknown writers, but they have pretty god damned high standards, and if you didn't go to Yale and get an MFA in creative writing, well, that's who you're competing against there.
so, it's highly competitive. anyone can write a story, but not everyone can be published.
think of it like a job interview. when you show up you bring your resume and you wear a suit (or proper attire). you don't show up empty-handed wearing shorts and a yellowed Hanes v-neck.
Anonymous K replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,662
lol @ syntax schooling us about grammar
it's a rite treat!
it's a rite treat!
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,664
@420,632 (I)
Oh, maybe, but I'm still gonna write a book. I have enough quirky stories to make it a decent teen drama. 2 suicide scares, an aids scare, lots of deception, the whole "Katie" fiasco, the whole "I hate her, and I am actually a sociopath using her to get to her money" fiasco, convincing her that isn't true, multiple break ups, hypocricy, drugs, multiple 4-5 dayfights where she just yells at me, and I just cry and say sorry. Plenty ofdecent drama.
Oh, maybe, but I'm still gonna write a book. I have enough quirky stories to make it a decent teen drama. 2 suicide scares, an aids scare, lots of deception, the whole "Katie" fiasco, the whole "I hate her, and I am actually a sociopath using her to get to her money" fiasco, convincing her that isn't true, multiple break ups, hypocricy, drugs, multiple 4-5 dayfights where she just yells at me, and I just cry and say sorry. Plenty ofdecent drama.
beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,665
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 4 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,666
@previous (beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao)
Oh, I had a low white blood cell count,and low platelet count and Lexi was like "You must have aids!" And flipped out for a few days. It turned out I didn't have aids, obviously, but Lexi still had a day or 2 of "You cheated on me with a man, and got aids". When it turned out I hadn't cheated on her, and didn't have aids, things returned to normal.
Oh, I had a low white blood cell count,and low platelet count and Lexi was like "You must have aids!" And flipped out for a few days. It turned out I didn't have aids, obviously, but Lexi still had a day or 2 of "You cheated on me with a man, and got aids". When it turned out I hadn't cheated on her, and didn't have aids, things returned to normal.
Anonymous P replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,667
Syntax
@420,661 (squeegee !first/o5zA)
Which is and I could list many examples but listing Fifty shades of Grey which was Self Published I did that because so many books are currently as such
@420,662 (K)
lol @ syntax schooling us about grammar
> it's a rite treat!
Thanks for that. Really made me smile
And how often do I get to pull out rules of Grammar with a nice twist on it - and for squeegee to include Shakespeare who made up 1500 brand new words and messed with the Kings English - Thanks for the reminder.
@420,661 (squeegee !first/o5zA)
Which is and I could list many examples but listing Fifty shades of Grey which was Self Published I did that because so many books are currently as such
@420,662 (K)
lol @ syntax schooling us about grammar
> it's a rite treat!
Thanks for that. Really made me smile
And how often do I get to pull out rules of Grammar with a nice twist on it - and for squeegee to include Shakespeare who made up 1500 brand new words and messed with the Kings English - Thanks for the reminder.
(Edited 36 seconds later.)
beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao replied with this 13 years ago, 20 seconds later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,668
@420,666 (Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk)
Why do you think her first reaction would be you must have fucked a dude?
Why do you think her first reaction would be you must have fucked a dude?
HaikerensGuide !dBGi/iH4eY replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,669
Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. Get the fuck over her. v
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 4 minutes later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,671
@420,668 (beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao)
Because in her mind she didn't think I would do heroin, so gay sex was the only other option. I wrote a gay erotica once, and when I was 12let somekid suck my dick, this also could have contributed to things. She basically thinks that all gay people have aids or at least the majority.
"Are you gay?"
"No, I have sex with you, how could I be gay?"
"Oh, are you bisexual?"
"No"
"Good, because I don't want aids"
This is a paraphrasing of a conversation that lasted 3 hours and was mostly
"You're gay"
"No"
"Just admit it, you're gay"
"No"
"Gay"
"No"
Etc. Etc.
Because in her mind she didn't think I would do heroin, so gay sex was the only other option. I wrote a gay erotica once, and when I was 12let somekid suck my dick, this also could have contributed to things. She basically thinks that all gay people have aids or at least the majority.
"Are you gay?"
"No, I have sex with you, how could I be gay?"
"Oh, are you bisexual?"
"No"
"Good, because I don't want aids"
This is a paraphrasing of a conversation that lasted 3 hours and was mostly
"You're gay"
"No"
"Just admit it, you're gay"
"No"
"Gay"
"No"
Etc. Etc.
Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,672
@420,669 (HaikerensGuide !dBGi/iH4eY)
Still writing a book. Suck it. Getting over it, and handling things reasonablyIs for pussies.
Still writing a book. Suck it. Getting over it, and handling things reasonablyIs for pussies.
HaikerensGuide !dBGi/iH4eY replied with this 13 years ago, 3 minutes later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,678
@previous (Postmortem !!FVJOHfXUk)
Can't you just drop her and move on with my life? I did after I went through a tough breakup with my girlfriend of over a year and I have a new one that is much smarter and much better in every way.
Can't you just drop her and move on with my life? I did after I went through a tough breakup with my girlfriend of over a year and I have a new one that is much smarter and much better in every way.
Anonymous K replied with this 13 years ago, 8 minutes later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,685
Anonymous Q joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,736
Meta !PARAdoxiHw replied with this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,752
TTEH !JXsxEkDBLs joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 6 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,754
didnt read lol
beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao replied with this 13 years ago, 29 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,758
TTEH !JXsxEkDBLs replied with this 13 years ago, 3 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,759
Anonymous H replied with this 13 years ago, 3 hours later, 21 hours after the original post[^] [v] #420,772
@420,655 (beckyderp !8ElfFaoFao)
So everyone in the book would have a small penis?
@OP
Does "Cupcake" have a small penis?
So everyone in the book would have a small penis?
@OP
Does "Cupcake" have a small penis?