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Minichan

Topic: I need serious help!

SkyCladObserver started this discussion 13 years ago #28,340

I don't understand, did I do something wrong? I converted to Judaism recently, and I think there must have been a mistake. I did not get access to the secret global domination forum, I was not instantaneously offered a high paying job in the financial, political, news, or entertainment fields, and I did not get my goyim mind control device. Is there like a trial period for new Jews before we get access to all of these? Do we have to do something special? I'm actually finding this to be fairly mundane and it's distressing because all of my internet friends told me converting was a surefire way to get a position in the New World Order, please help.

(Edited 5 seconds later.)

squeegee !first/o5zA joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later[^] [v] #419,380

have you killed any babies or drank their blood? even baby animals are cool, but if you want that kush job you gotta do human

TTEH !JXsxEkDBLs joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 6 minutes later, 7 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #419,381

Only Jews by ethnicity have access to these things. Religious conversion confers nothing. Thanks.

SkyCladObserver (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 3 minutes later, 11 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #419,382

@previous (TTEH !JXsxEkDBLs)
Fuck. Why did I convert then? Can I go back??

Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 13 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #419,385

Yes, converting to Judaism was a mistake. I did not read the rest of your post.

Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 31 seconds later, 14 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #419,386

@OP
You are only a level 1 Jew. You probably need to go earn Jew points to level up.

Syntax joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #419,410

@419,382 (SkyCladObserver)
Sure you can go back. You need some blood or Red Wine and a chunck of dead Jesus body or substitute bread.

Then find a holy roller Church and get them to fully almost drown you. Then fork over 10% of your cash every month. If you are successful as a Christian? You to can end up hung to dry on a cross one day.

Or convert to Muslim and if you follow some rules you end up with 72 Virgins. (Those women by the way are not only Virgins - they do not piss or defecate.

!KThEOwLwbU joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 21 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #419,415

@previous (Syntax)

i wonder how they void themselves

Syntax replied with this 13 years ago, 27 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #419,419

@previous (!KThEOwLwbU)
I have no clue but just learned this recently

http://wikiislam.net/wiki/72_Virgins#cite_note-Sunan_al-Tirmidhi_v2-19

Other Attributes:


Non-menstruating / non-urinating/ non-defecating and childfree

Muslims not so dumb cause consider the upkeep monthly on expenses for toilet paper n tampons for 72 woman all of a sudden.

!KThEOwLwbU replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #419,420

@previous (Syntax)


I wonder if Muslim heaven is capitalist and if that means the dead have to work

Syntax replied with this 13 years ago, 6 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #419,422

@previous (!KThEOwLwbU)

http://www.sa.niu.edu/msa/articles/capitalism.htm

TTEH !JXsxEkDBLs replied with this 13 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #419,428

@419,382 (SkyCladObserver)
No, I'm afraid you're Jewish forever now. Sorry.

Meta !PARAdoxiHw joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 8 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #419,434

@OP

> I don't understand, did I do something wrong? I converted to Judaism recently, and I think there must have been a mistake. I did not get access to the secret global domination forum, I was not instantaneously offered a high paying job in the financial, political, news, or entertainment fields, and I did not get my goyim mind control device. Is there like a trial period for new Jews before we get access to all of these? Do we have to do something special? I'm actually finding this to be fairly mundane and it's distressing because all of my internet friends told me converting was a surefire way to get a position in the New World Order, please help.

I feel you, I joined the patriarchy and got my white privilege recently, and it didn't make me have power over women or people of color in the slightest :/

Meta !PARAdoxiHw double-posted this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #419,435

@419,410 (Syntax)
> Or convert to Muslim and if you follow some rules you end up with 72 Virgins. (Those women by the way are not only Virgins - they do not piss or defecate.
Somewhere in Kunming, a man just lost all interest in Islam.
:

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