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Topic: I inadvertently betrayed two friends trying to protect another, and I don't know what to do.
Anonymous A started this discussion 13 years ago#26,650
My best friend was talking to another friend (J), and he mentioned another friend (D) and spoke rudely about her and said some stuff which showed he lied to D about other stuff. He and D were supposed to be going to prom together.
I told D's friend, who told D. D is pissed the fuck off. Her Father is pissed the fuck off. And they want to confront him. which will incriminate me and show I fucked over two close friends.
But I didn't want him to fuck over another friend.
My friend and J don't know anything right now, but they might soon.
What do? Did I do right? I was trying to be a good person, but it backfired in another way
kook !!32zdfdzi+ joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 6 minutes later[^][v]#402,774
What was he lying about?
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 8 minutes after the original post[^][v]#402,775
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
She's a strong Christian, as is her family. He's big on sex. To her and her dad, though, he was pretending to be this strong Christian who wouldn't dream of doing that stuff. He made a comment saying that she was a goody goody, and "we know how that works out with me." I didn't want this girl used, so I decided to say something.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 10 minutes after the original post[^][v]#402,776
@previous (A)
How well had you known this boy before he made that comment?
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 11 minutes after the original post[^][v]#402,777
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
6-7 years, best friends. He made it to one of my friends, who showed it to me.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 5 minutes later, 17 minutes after the original post[^][v]#402,778
@previous (A)
So you had known that he wasnt a no sex having Christian previously?
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 18 minutes after the original post[^][v]#402,779
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
He brags about all the sex he has to his friends. And the exchange I saw between he and J was him trying to get her to have sex with him again.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 8 minutes later, 27 minutes after the original post[^][v]#402,780
@previous (A)
So is there any plausible way (even though its a lie) for your female friend to have found out this knowledge without your help?
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 29 minutes after the original post[^][v]#402,781
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
Yes, just not this particular situation. The goody goody phrase is the identifying mark.
But she did say she had heard rumours beforehand, and someone close to the guy had mentioned to her that he can schmooze anyone and come across and appealing.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 6 minutes later, 35 minutes after the original post[^][v]#402,782
@previous (A)
Okay. Can you explain to her about the situation, and convince her to not specifically mention the goody goody part? She could just say that she's heard rumors.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 9 minutes later, 45 minutes after the original post[^][v]#402,783
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
As of now, I think I've convinced her to not say anything at all. She's going to go to prom with him, but immediately ditch him and then we're excluding him from later festivities.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,797
@previous (A)
Why is she still going with him?
You'd better look out for her at that dance.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 7 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,804
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
Because she doesn't want to cause trouble or risk this exposing me, I suppose.
And trust me, She'll be looked after. Her parents are having my date/her friend keep a look after her, and I'll use my best friend position to keep him away if need be. He's not going to so much as touch her without being stared down.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 13 hours later, 15 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,885
update: She's calling it off now.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 9 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,896
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 4 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,897
none of this is a big deal
are you in middle school
jeez
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 6 minutes later, 16 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,899
@previous (C)
Who gets to decide what counts as a big deal? For females, things regarding sex are usually kind of a big deal.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 5 minutes later, 16 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,900
@402,896 (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
Yeah, and it blew up in my face less than five minutes after she called him. J called me and asked if I said anything, and then my best friend texted me to contact him asap.
Anonymous C replied with this 13 years ago, 23 minutes later, 16 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,917
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 4 minutes later, 16 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,921
Kill the friend you protected. This will redeem you in the eyes of the two friends you betrayed and leave you with a net increase in friends, with a total profit of +1 friend.
(Edited 23 seconds later.)
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 1 hour later, 17 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,951
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 7 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,964
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
Within one minute, I had three people calling me. The guy, J, and D. I just told J I had to call her back so I could figure out what the hell was going on. She texted me and asked if I said anything. I waited a few minutes and said I had been gathering information and I don't know what's going on. Then I talked to the guy and he doesn't know either.
It seems so far that I've gotten out of this, but i'm not holding out too much hope.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 17 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,966
@previous (A)
Is she smart/nice enough to keep her mouth shut on who told her?
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,969
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
The story she is now giving me is "she already knew from other people, i just corroborated".
I told her to let me figure out what she should say. That got ignored, and she said the single worst thing possible. She didn't mention names, but she mentioned stuff she probably would not have known without me.
J is off the trail I think. He wanted to hang out and I got out of it.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,971
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 4 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,972
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
I gave her so many alternative options, and said that if she was doing anything to LET ME KNOW FIRST. I didn't get that. I'm pissed.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,974
@previous (A)
Is this how she normally is, or was this a special situation?
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 18 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,975
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
I didn't think she'd be this impulsive. I didn't even tell her, I told her friend. Who then spread it to her.
(Edited 13 seconds later.)
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 8 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,984
@previous (A)
I'd be irked at her,and the other friend, because now you know that you cant tell them things.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 18 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,986
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
I feel like everyone in this situation betrayed the trust of someone else to some degree.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 3 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,989
@previous (A)
Yes, but sometimes you have to betray someone, to keep someone else save. You may have prevented her from making a huge mistake. Not only about the sex, but he might be the type that would tell everyone! So you might have also saved her heartache, and reputation.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 18 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,991
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
Yeah...I just hope this doesn't get any worse. She very nearly called to tell him that I wasn't involved, and I had to basically shout at her to not do that. i kinda got rude, but it was a pretty stressful situation that wouldn't have been so bad if my advice was taken.
Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 13 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,998
@402,951 (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
I know a lot of women who have better shit to worry about than this because they're not children or as frighteningly slow as yourself
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 18 hours after the original post[^][v]#402,999
@previous (E)
lol okay. You know a lot of women who dont worry about broken friendships and sex? lol you kill me.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ double-posted this 13 years ago, 19 seconds later, 18 hours after the original post[^][v]#403,000
@402,991 (A)
Some people just dont understand diplomacy.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ triple-posted this 13 years ago, 5 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^][v]#403,004
Op, I'm always willing to discuss these things, in a non judgmental way. Regardless of what others think, friendship is important.
Anonymous E replied with this 13 years ago, 31 minutes later, 19 hours after the original post[^][v]#403,007
@402,999 (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
way to broaden the issue
ok, bud, u are all girls and this is a huge issue
omg, he's actually a bad boy && nt a Christian? and ppl... lied abt it??
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 25 minutes later, 19 hours after the original post[^][v]#403,017
@previous (E)
That wasnt broadening the issue. This is about friendship, sex, and possible ruined reputations. If you or others don't care, than why comment at all?
kook !!32zdfdzi+ double-posted this 13 years ago, 3 minutes later, 19 hours after the original post[^][v]#403,019
@403,007 (E)
btw, you're probably syntax. If so, than you should know better than to act in this manner.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 22 seconds later, 19 hours after the original post[^][v]#403,020
@403,000 (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
Seriously. And I'm afraid that I'm suddenly gonna be seen by them as the bad guy for being so blunt and such.
And thank you <33
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 19 hours after the original post[^][v]#403,023
have you tried reversing the polarity?
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 4 minutes later, 19 hours after the original post[^][v]#403,025
@403,020 (A)
You might. But thats kind of a risk that you take for being a good friend.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 1 day later, 2 days after the original post[^][v]#403,487
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
And now I may not have a date, because that other girl isn't going now.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 7 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^][v]#403,491
@previous (A)
Oh, you're only allowed to go on group dates?
(Edited 16 seconds later.)
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 days after the original post[^][v]#403,492
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
Nope. But she's only gonna go if her friend goes.
And this is basically my fault.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 12 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^][v]#403,494
@previous (A)
I feel bad for you. You were only trying to be a good friend.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^][v]#403,495
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
I knew this would happen eventually, though.
I told her it wasn't really fair to me, and she just said "I'm not stupid." Then she said she was upset and wasn't going to talk to anyone for a while. So I'm expecting her to get back to me later and say she's definitely not going now.
Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 13 years ago, 1 week later, 1 week after the original post[^][v]#406,244
UPDATE: I am now (apparently) taking both of them.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^][v]#406,245
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 week after the original post[^][v]#406,248
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
I was kinda getting excited about not having to go anymore. But this works too, I guess.
Though I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a third wheel in my own fucking prom group thing.
kook !!32zdfdzi+ replied with this 13 years ago, 13 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^][v]#406,258
@previous (A)
Can you invite a few others to even things out?
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 13 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^][v]#406,263
@previous (kook !!32zdfdzi+)
Everyone else is either grouped up, or left the group over the last issue. Besides, these two are only going so they can hang together. That was how she got her friend to go, by saying she wanted to go to her last prom and have her there. I'm pretty much being taken along out of pity at this point.